The Vampire in the Basement
by michellephants
Summary: While hunting one afternoon, the boys stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU.
1. The Hunt

**A/N**: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight & Co.

- My first fanfiction ever; Review if you can :) I'm rating it M for the time being, I'm still undecided about if/when there will be lemons. It's possible that it'll only warrant a T in the end; I'm just unsure.

- These first few chapters are pretty dark. Some characters OOC.

***

**Alice POV**

I mentally prepared myself for another dull day of school.

The boys were taking the day off to hunt but, as I had been hunting more often to accompany Jasper, I was already well fed. It came down to a decision between the lesser of two evils: another tedious day hunting with the boys or another tedious day in school with the girls.

I hadn't seen Bella since before the weekend, so I opted to skip the hunting trip and go to school. I could already see that she would agree to a shopping trip with me after class and that even Rosalie would join us. A day out with the girls seemed like an excellent way to break the monotony. The life of a vampire posing as a human had few perks, and my friendship with Bella was at forefront of those.

I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High and quickly looked at how my day would go. It would be typical, boring, and event-free, naturally. Bella would fall and Mike would help right her, much to her irritation. I smiled and shook my head. _Crazy kids._

Rosalie and I got out of the car and headed to our first period classes. I got Mr. Mason's room and took my seat, still several minutes early. English was the most boring of the boring, and I contemplated ditching briefly until I remembered my plans with Bella. They wouldn't be realized if I didn't get a chance to pitch them to her.

She walked in shortly after and took a seat next to me.

"Not hunting today?"

"Nope," I replied. "Girls day out. No boys allowed." I stuck my tongue out at her. Like she'd _really_ want the company of a (gasp) boy, anyway. Bella was many things, but it was a well known fact that she did not approve of the Forks High School male population.

"Oooh, fun. What are we doing?" I have to give her credit, she looked genuinely excited.

"Uh, shopping?" I offered. Of course we were shopping. What else would we be doing?

She chuckled, "Okay. But we have to hit the bookstore also, okay?"

I didn't have to be psychic for me to know that would be her condition. Bella and bookstores were like Rosalie and cars. It was inexplicable but endearing.

"Naturally," I giggled.

_Mr. Mason walks in, frustrated with the chatter of the overly energetic students._

I raised my finger to my mouth, shushing her. She straightened up and looked straight ahead, winking at me. The vision disappeared.

"How was everyone's weekend?" He asked as he walked in.

***

By third period I was ready to leave. An hour ago I had begun getting random flashes about the hunting trip. I couldn't make out what exactly was going on, it seemed like whatever was happening was changing, quickly. After the seventh different decision was made in as many minutes, my frustration grew monumentally. I wanted to call Carlisle.

The visions weren't particularly jarring, but the lack of precision was scaring me.

I saw Carlisle walking into the house, light-eyed and happy.

I saw Carlisle walking into the house covered in blood.

I saw Carlisle screaming at Esme to get upstairs.

I saw him running his hands through the river.

I saw him warily approaching a man, laying on the ground.

I saw him answering the front door.

The decisions were changing so rapidly that I couldn't get a clear read on anything. I tried to look into Jasper and Emmett's futures, but was met by the same infuriating roadblock.

I pulled my hair, frustrated.

"I need to use the restroom," I grumbled, as I walked from the classroom.

I headed straight for my car, opening my cell and texting Rose and Bella. _Something came up, I'll be back to pick you guys up later. –Alice_

I drove straight home and quickly appraised the house. Nothing seemed out of place. I was teetering on whether or not to go find the boys when I got my first real glimpse of what the future held.

"_Carlisle!" Jasper shouts, his volume a result of the panic. Together, they walk toward a heap of flesh partially obscured by the brush. The stop several feet away from the body._

"_Is he dead?" Emmett asks as he approaches them._

"_It doesn't look like he's breathing from here.." _

"_No, no it doesn't."_

"_Should we call the police or something...?" Emmett again. Freaking' Emmett._

"_I don't know..." replies Jasper. Carlisle remains silent._

I tried to look further into the future, hoping that I'd be able to make something of this.

**

**Carlisle POV**

I was pulled from my reverie by Jasper hollering my name. _Why so loudly?_ I approached him cautiously, knowing something wasn't right. There was no reason for the shouting.

As I made my way to him, I followed his gaze. He was staring intently on what looked like a human body. The boy was naked and completely still, without an ounce of color to his skin. He was dead. I could see that he wasn't breathing and I couldn't make out any heartbeat. I followed Jasper as he took a few tentative steps forward, but we both stopped short. What to do?

I heard Emmett approaching us slowly, "Is he dead?" he asked honestly. I shook my head to myself. If Emmett used what he knew he was capable of he would already know the answer to that, but of course, he spoke without even a shadow of a thought.

"It doesn't look like he's breathing from here," Jasper told Emmett.

"No, no it doesn't," I added quietly. This boy was so much further than dead. I couldn't see his face or the front of his body at all, but judging by his back, he very well may have starved to death.

"Should we call the police or something?" Emmett again. If the situation wasn't as dire as it was, I might have laughed. Only Emmett would think we should call the police. Only Emmett.

"I don't know..." Jasper replied. _I guess not _only _Emmett._ I sighed and shook my head. The best I could think to do was move his body closer to civilization and hope he'd be found and identified before animals consumed him. That hardly seemed fair to him.

I stepped forward, gesturing the boys to stay back. Something about this situation wasn't sitting right with me. I had no reason to be wary of a decrepit human body, but I was cautious still. It only took one step.

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and let my head fall, hoping beyond hope that this was Alice telling me why I was so damned nervous all of the sudden. I knew she liked to keep an eye on Jasper, it wasn't an unreasonable idea that she had already seen this turn of events.

_Alice_. I sighed and took a step back toward Jasper and Emmett. I opened the phone when I reached them.

"What is it?" I urged, still edgy.

"He's not dead, Carlisle..."

"Of course he's dead, Alice. He's not breathing, his heart is…" I trailed off, deeply inhaling.

He didn't smell like a human should. Maybe this was the source of my unease? He smelled... empty. There were vague traces of some foreign chemicals radiating from him, but I couldn't smell blood.. at all. I shook my head, trying to make sense of it. _What _is _he?_

"Carlisle, he's dead... obviously. But only in the sense that you and I are dead..."

"No, Alice. If he were one of us I'd be able to find it in his scent. There's no blood in his system whatsoever..." I inhaled again, trying to pick up anything else from him.

"Venom?" she asked, likely already knowing what my answer would be.

The smell of our venom is faint. It's supposed to be our greatest weapon, virtually undetectable to our prey. But I guess if I concentrated on deciphering each individual scent, there were traces of venom there.

"So he's... one of us?"

"Yes," she answered. "I can't see what led him here, but I can see what you will do. I _think_ it's right. But your future is changing pretty regularly, still. So I can't be positive."

"What do I do?" I whispered. "Bring him home?" I knew that he couldn't die from whatever was going on inside of him, but I had never seen a vampire this messed up in all of my years.

"Yes, but Carlisle," she answered, "he won't make it easy for you. I don't know what his intentions are, but I can see he doesn't go with you without a fight. He's not very strong, so it shouldn't be difficult to get him to succumb, but be cautious when you guys approach him. He's going to growl and he's going to bite. He'll do whatever he can to get away. You will be stronger. Between the three of you, you will get him back to the house."

"And then...?" I urged. Having him in the house didn't seem like the most brilliant plan, but I guess leaving him out here to starve for the next century would be too cruel.

"Then... I don't know. You haven't decided yet. When I know, you'll know," she said softly, contemplative. "I'd tell you to be careful, but I know you've got things under control for now." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Thank you, Alice."

"Oh, and Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"…. Be careful." I smiled and assured her I would. "Not just with yourselves, though. Be careful with him."

And then, in true Alice fashion, she hung up.

***

During the trek home, a pattern was established. I was carrying the vampire in my arms, Jasper staying on my heels doing everything in his power to keep the boy calm. I still hadn't gotten a good look at him and had done virtually zero assessment of his injuries, as we had decided immediately that the quicker we got him the house the better.

As soon as I had taken my first step toward him a low rumbling emanated from his chest. It was weak and it was labored, but it was still a sign for me to approach cautiously.

I looked back at Jasper questioningly.

"Fear," he said simply. "That's all I'm getting. Just fear."

I shook my head. I think I'd have preferred anger or hatred over fear. Fear made me the bad guy, and him the victim. I didn't like the idea of causing him any discomfort when he was already so fragile, but I knew leaving him wasn't an option. And getting him to the house would, without a doubt, be uncomfortable for him.

"Try to get him under control, son," I whispered, willing the gods to comply and help me with this task.

I felt a wave of calm rush over me and immediately the growling changed. It didn't cease altogether, but it became more hopeless. It was pleading rather than warning. Begging me to step back.

I squared my shoulders and closed the gap between us quickly and quietly. His fear overrode Jasper's calm and he began growling viciously and thrashing under my touch. That was when the 'quickest route possible' decision was officially made. I lifted him into my arms and began running. He was struggling and growling but too weak to fight me. I had just fed and he hadn't fed in years, and I was clearly going to win if it came down to a match.

We ran the miles back to the house quickly. We would make it a half mile or so and he would lose any calming effect Jasper was attempting to throw at him again. Jasper would then close the gap between us and touch him, throwing him into frenzy before nearly knocking him out with emotion.

I could tell this was all having an extreme effect on Jasper. This boy's pain was, to an extent, Jasper's pain. It wasn't as if Jasper could actually feel the pain, but he felt the nature of it.

We made it to the house several minutes later, and Alice opened the door while I rushed the body inside.

"The basement," was all Alice said.

I had considered it as an option earlier; I guess she saw it was as good a choice as any. It was only temporary, until we could figure out the next move. He wouldn't be able to hurt anyone in the basement. He wouldn't be able to hurt himself in the basement.

I bee-lined for the door that led down the stairs; the struggling, screaming body never once relaxing. When we reached the last step I briefly contemplated what to do, but decided it was too stressful on him to keep my hold. I laid him on the ground and he immediately put distance between us. He moved himself backwards until he was up against the wall, shaking and growing and.. terrified.

Behind me, I heard Alice. "Come upstairs, Carlisle. Give him some time. He'll be more comfortable by himself down here.. trust me."

Admittedly, I was eager to leave him. I couldn't stand watching him suffer so severely, and I was happy for the escape Alice had provided me, if only temporarily.

I headed up the stairs behind her, closing the door and clasping the lock behind me.

**

**Alice POV**

We had to get out of there.

The look in Jasper's eyes was enough to make me to sacrifice everything I had to never have to see that look again.

I knew that Jasper wasn't suffering even a fraction of the man downstairs' pain, but I couldn't handle it.

"We need to leave for a bit, Carlisle."

The family had convened in the living room to figure out what to do.

"Of course, Alice." He smiled. Always so understanding.

I could see that the family would be fine for a few hours, we just needed to get away for a bit. "Don't go down there until we get back, okay? Approaching him without Jasper for a buffer is a suicide mission."

Esme nodded in agreement. "We absolutely won't do anything until the whole family is present. Strength in numbers," she smiled. We all knew it wasn't true. Well, maybe not Emmett, but still. Most of us knew. When it came down to approaching him, it would have to be just one of us. If he felt cornered his instinct would be to attack.. and he was going to feel cornered no matter what, but he didn't need to feel outnumbered as well.

"Okay, we'll be back in a bit. Don't leave the house unattended..."

As we walked out the front door, I flipped open my cell phone.

_Are we still on for shopping extravaganza? –Bella_

I dialed and waited through several rings.

"Hey, Bella."

"Alice! What happened?! Rose ditched too. Do I need to get _Yorkie_ to give me a ride home?"

"No, me and Jasper are leaving now, we'll come pick you up, but I have to cancel the shopping plans..." I cringed. It didn't cease to amaze me that I still felt bad about missing shopping. Jasper, feeling my regret, smirked at me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Alice Cullen, canceling a shopping trip? What _is_ the world coming to?" she responded.

"I know, I know. We'll be there in a few."

"'Kay," she replied. "See you then," and we hung up.

We took the Mercedes that was known to the great people of Forks as Carlisle's car. We tried to avoid standing out, and figured if we were in our father's car it wouldn't be too weird. We said little during the drive, both of us contemplating what the right course of action was. I could see now that he would stay in the back corner of the basement until the morning, when we would try to approach him. I couldn't see the outcome of that approach though, which made me nervous.

The back door opening startled me out of my daze.

"Hey, guys," Bella said, throwing her bag into the back seat.

We both nodded and mumbled our helloes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong... stop worrying."

"You two both look like someone ran over your cat... Seriously, Al – what's wrong?"

"Just disappointed I had to cancel our trip. My wardrobe is in dire need of a makeover," I winked, plastering a smile to my face.

"Haha, riiiight. So do you want to hang out at your place? Maybe watch a movie?"

"Uhh.. sorry Bella, can't tonight. Maybe this weekend?"

She looked confused but then accepting. "Sure, this weekend sounds good. So, what could possibly have come up to make _you_ of all people back out of a shopping trip?"

"Jasper and I needed a romantic evening."

"Oh? Oo la la," she teased, smacking my arm. "Ouch."

I laughed. Silly Bella, she _would_ hurt herself slapping me.

We made it to her house in record time, and I pulled into the driveway.

"Do you guys want to come in for a bit?"

"No thanks, we're sort of in a hurry. Commence date night and all!" I could tell that my blasé attitude wasn't fooling anyone, Bella was a horrible actress.

"Oh. Okay, well, call me tonight?"

"Sure," I smiled and nodded my head. I could do that. I briefly checked Bella's future to make sure she didn't have a rebellion planned. She had a ridiculous tendency to give in to her morbid curiosity at any given point in time, and right now we couldn't afford to have her poking her nose around the house.

_Dinner with Charlie. Reading. Pacing. Looking out the window. Reading some more. Calling me. Calling Renee. Calling Angela. Reading. Going to bed._

I sternly nodded my head in approval of her plans. I knew eventually we would have to deal with things, but tonight there was still so much up in the air. Surely she could wait one night, couldn't she?

**

**Bella POV**

Yes, something was definitely wrong.

I marched into the house and started sifting through the fridge for dinner ingredients. I numbly began tending to the chicken while contemplating what the hell was going on with Alice Cullen.

She was just... off. Date night rather than shopping? Really? _Really?_ I think not, Alice.

And Jasper hadn't said a single word the entire car ride. He just sat there, staring out the window, looking like his life was over.

My first instinct told me that something had happened to one of the other Cullens.. but what? It's not like vampires can get sick. It's not like they can _die _— WHAT IF ONE OF THE CULLENS DIED?

I knew I had to keep my cool. But suddenly a thousand different scenarios played out in my head. What if they ran into a real life Buffy while hunting AND SHE KILLED EMMETT?

Alice would tell me that, right? I shook my head. No, she wouldn't. Not yet, anyway.

I sighed, knowing that it was useless to try to infiltrate the mansion with Alice keeping an eye on me.

Stupid.. annoying.. psychic.. vampires!

As the evening went on, I began plotting in my head. I knew as soon as I decided anything Alice would be there to stop me. It's how we rolled. So I couldn't actually make any plans. But I also knew I had to do _something_.

I couldn't just let them pretend like everything was fine while poor Emmett lay in a pile of ashes.

As I cooked, I planned.

***

**A/N**: I won't be jumping POVs so much in the future. It seemed like the best way to introduce the story, though.

Review so I know how it's being received, please. Thaaanks. :)**  
**


	2. The Basement

**A/N**: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight & Co.

- Chapter 2 is still dark. The next few chapters will be as well.

- Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

***

The Basement

**Bella POV**

I spent dinner with Charlie in absolute silence, wondering how I would get to the Cullen's. If Alice had been watching me closely, she'd have called by now. I assumed she was doing sporadic checks but focusing mainly on whatever it was that they were hiding. Dammit, I needed to know.

I grumbled as I finished the last of my chicken, rushing to the sink and clearing my plate.

My planning was interrupted by a knock at the front door. _Gah! _ Apparently, I had decided that I would be making a surprise visit to the mansion.

"Hang on, hang on," I grumbled, heading for the foyer. I opened the door and was completely unsurprised and chagrined to see Alice sitting on the step, complete with annoyed glare.

"Bella."

"Hey.,. I'm here. I'm here and I'm not doing anything wrong." This argument was doomed for failure from the beginning. She didn't care that I wasn't _doing _anything wrong. She cared about what I was _going_ to do.

"Bella. You and I both know that something isn't right here. And now, instead of letting me fix it, I have to be here, babysitting you."

"You don't have to babysit me, Alice! I'm a big girl."

"I saw you... at the house. Dressed in a freakin' BLACK hoodie with the hood pulled up over your head. Are you INSANE? Dressing in black will not camouflage you, little girl."

"Okay, A – I was dressed in my current attire. B – You're not allowed to call me little girl, it's just wrong, considering." I gestured up and down her frame, making my case clear. "and C – if you would just TELL me what is wrong, then I wouldn't feel the need to sneak into your house at all." I crossed my arms and nodded my head for effect.

She sighed. Would it ever really be that easy to get Alice to give in? What she lacked in size she certainly made up for tenacity. "If I tell you, will you promise to stay away?"

I nodded. Whatever.

"There's a vampire staying at the house. We don't know him very well and we think he might be a danger to you if you were to come over." I stared at her, waiting for the rest. "That's it. Whole truth, nothing but the truth, all that bullshit."

"Really?" I said sarcastically. That was so not the truth. What a little liar. I smiled innocently.

"Bella, just go to bed. Wait until morning to hatch this plan, I'm begging you. Please."

I gave in and sighed. It was impossible anyway. I might as well let her deal with whatever she's dealing with and not having to worry about me. Her eyes unfocussed and a smile played on her lips.

"Much better. I should head back to the house. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella." She waved, then shouted "Bye Charlie!" She started to walk off, but stopped short and turned... "Oh, and Bella?" I raised my eyebrows, "should your resolve to behave yourself lessen over the evening, don't think I won't see it."

I closed the door after her and sulked up to my room. I kicked the book that was unfortunate enough to be on my path to the bed. I sat down and glared out the window. I felt like a prisoner. In my own home. Like no matter what I did Alice would come stop me. I didn't have any options.

I grabbed my laptop and played a game of hearts. After three cards were thrown I got bored and closed the computer, discarding it to the floor next to me. I chuckled humorlessly and grabbed my old copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ off of my bedside table.

So quickly I didn't even know what hit me, I was running down the stairs. My promise was void as far as I was concerned. She hadn't told me the truth so I was unbound to my end of the deal.

"Going out with Alice, Dad! Be back soon!" I ran out the door before he could say anything to slow me down. I hopped into my truck and peeled out of the driveway, heading toward the Cullen house.

_Alice is lying, isn't she?_ Wasn't she?? She wouldn't have acted so strange if it was something as simple as what she told me.

I thought about all the possibilities while I drove. They weren't telling me something. Something was off, and damned if I would be kept in the dark without a fight.

When I pulled into the driveway, I threw the truck in park and hopped out. _They can protect me from this vampire, right?_ Too late now. I walked briskly toward the porch.

I turned the knob and the door was already open. I pushed my way inside and immediately realized that no one was home. _They left a crazed vampire alone? In _FORKS? _Brilliant. _ I shook my head at the irresponsibility of my vampire family.

I peeked into the living room. No one was there. I could hear the shower running upstairs. Suddenly my quasi-plan was not so brilliant. I was.. scared. I thought for sure that at any moment a vampire was going to lurch himself onto my back and go for the kill.

"Guys..?" I called softly, ignoring the chill running up my spine.

I walked aimlessly around the house for a few minutes, having no idea why I was here. How would I explain to the Cullen's that I broke in and.. what.. looked around?

_I am an idiot._

I turned to walk back out, but as I was leaving, I passed a door. I'd never been in the basement of this house before. I'd never even given it any thought. But I knew this door led to the steps, and suddenly and inexplicably, my curiosity piqued. I'd never had even a little bit of interest in the basement, but in that moment, I felt that door just begging me to open it.

_I wonder what they keep down there.._

I crept over to the door and gently turned the handle. It was locked? _Interesting, indeed_. My morbid curiosity once again reared its ugly head. I reached up to the bolted lock and turn it swiftly, again going for the knob. This time, the door slowly crept open.

***

Part of me realized I should be afraid to approach him. He was terrified and he was lethal, and I assumed that that combination was the reason the others had forbid me to come to this house at all. But there he sat, pushed as far into the corner as he could manage, his back to me. His knees were pulled so tightly to his chest that I think he would actually be incapable of breathing even if he had to. My heart lurched.

I could see every curve of his ribs as they curled around his sides. I could make out every single distinct disc of his spine. It was obvious that he was starved. His frame trembled slightly at the sound of my footsteps, slowly descending down the staircase. I couldn't make my feet stop if I wanted to, and I didn't want to. I didn't doubt that, as weak as this vampire was, he could snap me in half before I could blink.

But I stood there, watching his shaking frame with wide eyes, knowing that it was beyond my control now. I needed to reach out to him. He needed me to reach out to him.

I took another step. I could see him attempting to pull his knees closer to his chest. He was naked and frightened and in pain, and I was making it _worse_. I didn't even know I was capable of such a thing. He continued gripping his legs tightly and shaking, and buried his head in his knees. I couldn't see anything other than his long, lean back, curled desperately and trying to protect his body from _me._

Another step and I was on the ground, the last of the stairs behind me. I had no confidence in what I was doing, yet somehow, somewhere, it just felt _right_. If my last action on this earth was to offer this suffering man solace, then I was okay with that. I would die knowing that I _tried_ to do what I knew was right.

As I took another tentative step toward him, I heard a very low, rumbling growl coming from the corner. It was supposed to be frightening. It was my warning growl, and I knew that. He was trying to convey to me that if I didn't stop, he would end me. His growl broke my heart but only strengthened my resolve.

I inched closer and while the volume of the growl didn't increase, the frequency did. It was now a steady rumble coming from deep inside him. He hadn't yet looked toward me, or even moved his body in any way other than to protect itself. I think that might be why I was so unafraid; he hadn't taken a single offensive move yet. He just continued to try to protect his body from me, and I hoped that somehow he would let me live long enough to show him that I meant him no harm.

After another step toward him, the volume of his growls slightly increased. I was still ten feet from his corner, but I could see him making every effort to wedge himself further into the unrelenting walls. Maybe he was attempting to hide himself in the shadows. I knew if I thought about what he was going through from his point of view I would only start to cry, and that wouldn't help anyone right now.

I scanned my brain for anything I could do to make this easier on him. I immediately dropped to my knees, hoping the thud of my body didn't startle him too badly. I saw his frame jump briefly before returning to the trembling and growling.

"I don't want to hurt you..." I whispered, knowing full well that there was almost no chance he was coherent enough to understand me.

They say with coma patients that sometimes just the sound of a soothing voice helps. I know my whisper was more pained than soothing, but it was far from vicious.

I put my hands on the floor and began crawling slowly toward him. His growling became desperate when I was within a couple yards of him.

"Hey…" I whispered again. "I don't want to hurt you," I felt a silent tear run down my cheek when I realized my efforts were wasted.

In the next few seconds I was probably going to be dead. There was no question. I was way beyond the point of no return, and I was completely at this man's mercy. And he was warning me. Very clearly. To back the hell off.

And of course I couldn't. I was drawn to him. I couldn't back away and leave him here, shaking and naked and hurt, with no hope for any sort of future.

I inched my way toward his corner. His growling was as vicious as a dying dog's could possibly be at this point, but I left the ability to be afraid of him at the bottom of the staircase. His trembling grew and I could see more of him now. His legs were covered in lacerations, similar to his back. His arms looked strong but weak at the same time. They were clearly muscular, but so frail from what I could only guess was the lack of feeding.

His skin was almost translucent, with purple undertones to the white that I had grown to love in vampires. His face was still too buried in his knees for me to look at it, but his hair was very dark and disheveled. I could tell it hadn't been cleaned or cared for in a very long time. My heart broke further and I wanted to kill someone. Really. I knew someone had done this to him; watching him day in and day out as his condition went from perfect to.. this. And I wanted that person dead. I made a promise to myself that I would work it out if given the chance.

Suddenly the door burst open at the top of the staircase. The vampire I was trying to approach growled louder, and I didn't even realize that was possible. His whole frame blanched from the noise, and for a brief second, I was terrified that I had lost everything before I even got to attempt it.

"Do. Not. Move. A. Muscle," Carlisle spoke softly but firmly. I turned my head to look at him anyway.

I could barely hear what was going on over the growling behind me, but I glowered at the door. They would have to pry my cold dead body from this corner if they expected me to leave with them.

"Bella," Alice spoke in a normal volume that I almost didn't catch over the noise coming from my vampire's chest. "Are you trying to get yourself killed? Please don't move, Bella. Please. We'll figure this out. No sudden movements."

I turned my head back to the man in the corner of the room. I was only a few feet away from him now, but it seemed like he had forgotten about me. The timbre of his growls had changed when the others entered, and it was unrelenting.

"Guys," I said firmly, without turning to look at them. "If you value my life, I think you should stay where you are."

"Bella... since _you _clearly have no sense of self-preservation, we need to —" Alice began, but Carlisle interrupted.

"She's right, Alice. Any sudden movements now could startle him, she's too close for us to interfere. Bella, you need to turn around and come back toward us..." he noticed my refusal. "Please, Bella."

I didn't even glance back at him. I stared at my destination with a new purpose. I _needed_ him to return to the scared growling. Or else I was as good as dead.

"You guys should go... You're scaring him more than he needs to be scared. If he hurts me, please don't hurt him. It's not his fault." I whispered, knowing they could hear me and knowing that it didn't matter. I would be dead and no one would protect him.

"Bella! PLEASE! You need to stop this! Bella!!" Alice's voice grew dim in my resolve, to the point that I was able to completely block it, and everything else outside of my little bubble, out.

I slowly inched closer to him until I was within an arms reach. He was furious. He was scared. He was beautiful.

Ever so gently, I reached a tentative hand out. His trembling increased monumentally but he made no move to attack. I wondered who I had to thank for that. It hurt to admit to myself that it was probably the same person who I had to thank for his physical condition.

"Shhh... please calm down," I whispered gently to him. "I'm not going to hurt you."

My hand inched closer to his back. He seemed to be using his back as his shell, the only protection offered against any harm coming his way. I figured it was the best place to make contact. "Shhh…"

My hand was just inches from his skin now, and his whole body was rocking violently. I felt bad for dragging out this awful experience for him, so I decided to act swiftly but with enough calmness as not to startle him more than necessary.

I briefly wondered what the afterlife held for me, if he decided to break my neck with his pinky finger, and a small, sad smile played on my lips. "I wouldn't blame you," I whispered, only to myself.

And with that, my fingers reached his back. I touched him more gingerly than I have ever touched anything before, as if any pressure at all would further break this man who so desperately needed help. He flinched visibly, letting out a small whimper and ragged breath at the same time.

I could feel his muscles constricting in his back, as he attempted to shove himself further into wall. I was crouched in front of him, and inched myself closer again.

I flipped my hand over so the back of my fingers were nearly touching his broken back. I let them graze it gently.

And I was absolutely dumbstruck when his growling eased. "I don't want to hurt you," I whispered into the air, hoping that even though he probably couldn't understand my words, he picked up on my meaning. I let my fingers run across his left shoulder blade lightly and suddenly remembered that I was not alone in the room.

I slowly turned my head back to the staircase. The door was closed now, but I could see Carlisle sitting on the top step, perfectly still, not breathing nor moving. I understood.

I put my focus back on the wreck of a person in front of me and inched myself slightly closer. His growls were no longer furious but weak. They weren't pleading for me to stop, they were just.. pleading. He still trembled deeply but made no move to end my life.

I closed my eyes and took a tentative breath. I let the entire back of my hand graze his back now, increasing the contact of our skin. His muscles loosened slightly but his posture remained rigid, his head still buried in his knees.

Carefully, avoiding the wounds that covered his body, I ran my fingertips across his rib cage. It elicited a whimper but not a growl. I backed off immediately and moved my hands away from his ribs. I let the tips of my fingers trail the length of his spine, starting at the base of his neck. I knew getting too close to his face could be asking for trouble, so I didn't make a move to touch his head yet.

As my fingers moved down each defined bump of his skeleton, a small chill followed. His trembling calmed slightly as his body reacted to my touch.

I idly wondered how long it had been since he had been touched humanely. Too long for me to think about, I decided, before the tears actually started free flowing.

I brought my fingers back up his spine and traced the bones of his shoulder. His head remained buried, but the growling was growing less and less desperate. He was letting me reach out to him.

My fingers traced the back of his neck to his other shoulder, while I brought my other hand to him. I laid it gingerly on the exposed forearm that held his knees to his chest. He cringed but quickly calmed. While my right hand worked its way down his back again, my left traced the veins in his arm.

I closed my eyes, breathing him in, and when I opened them again, he had turned his head so that his cheek was resting on his knee, and I could finally see his face.

***

**A/N**: I love hearing what people think about this! Hopefully you'll be able to stick with me through the crap that the vamp has to go through. It won't be an easy couple of chapters for him, but he's got Bella to help him through it ;) It's AU so try to keep an open mind. I won't do anything too hokey, I promise. But I'll explain though a/ns when important AU business comes into play.


	3. The Face

**A/N**:

This is essentially just a continuation of last chapter, so unfortunately the tone of the chapter is generally the same. There are some important tidbits laced throughout it, though. So hopefully it's alright by you.

I want to mention real quick how AMAZINGLY happy I am with the people who reviewed, favorited, read, clicked. I loved reading what you had to say!

And uhh.. here: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Face

**Bella POV**

I stared at his face for several minutes without moving a muscle, just taking him in.

The first things I took notice of were his eyes. The room was fairly unlit and he was still obscured by the shadows, but, as I was only a couple of feet from him, I was able to make out the details. His eyes were pitch black and devoid of any emotion apart from the obvious fear. His gaze bore into mine, but nothing about his body language indicated that he was seeing me. He stared blankly, almost as if he were looking through me and not at me.

After several seconds of staring mindlessly, they slowly closed. He sat there facing me, his head unmoving from its resting spot on his knee. I could've easily mistaken him for dead if I didn't know better.

His face was sunken and hollow. I smiled, thinking of what he would look like after he fed, wondering how long we could possibly keep him waiting. I felt a surge of anger toward every last Cullen for locking him down here like this, as if he was some animal that needed kept away from civilization. Then I briefly considered that this was indeed what they considered him to be, and struggled to fight back the fresh swell of tears that were blurring my vision. It wasn't even a little bit fair. _Why had they not fed him yet?_

What was once his violent trembling had reduced itself to a slight shiver over the past hour. His growling had completely subsided and he seemed as peaceful as possible in the moment. He still wasn't breathing save for the occasional deep inhale, presumably to pick up the scents around him. My fingers continued to graze his back, my other hand stroking up and down his forearm. The muscles there seemed to relax around his knees a little, but his body was still curled around itself tightly.

My gaze slowly moved from his eyes to take in the rest of his face. His lips were almost the same chalky white as the skin around them. They, like everything else about his appearance, were empty. They were tense and closed, set in a natural frown. I wanted to touch them. I wanted, more than anything, to see him smile in that moment.

His cheekbones were especially defined with the lack of nourishment and the hollows just below them were the same color as the skin around his eyes; dark shadows emphasizing the emptiness of his face.

My hand took on a mind of its own and I found my fingers trailing slowly up his forearm. When they reached his bicep, he flinched, the skin there unused to my touch. His eyes darted open and once again bore into mine. I pulled back a little but didn't cease contact altogether.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered for the thousandth time, using my eyes now to help convey the message.

My hand continued along its path up his bicep at a painfully slow pace. When I reached his shoulder I stopped, contemplating my next move. I could let the chips fall where they may, and move to touch his face, possibly getting myself eaten in the process; or I could slow down and withdraw, as my luck had already run pretty far for the night.

He didn't seem too upset by my touch anymore, but was it worth it to risk my life? One more glance into his pained eyes and I immediately decided that it was. I brought the back of my hand to his neck, slowly preparing him for what was to come.

He inhaled sharply, his muscles automatically recoiling at my touch, a low growl radiating from his chest.

I kept my fingers still for several seconds, letting him get used to the feeling.

I turned my head briefly to see if Carlisle was still there. He was, but we both knew it was futile. If the vampire decided to kill me, there was nothing that Carlisle would be able to do. He looked pained, sitting on the top step, watching us with worried eyes. I give him a faint smile, knowing he'd be able to see it despite the lack of light in the room.

This was one of those moments that I wondered if the Cullens regretted my friendship with them. I shook my head to myself and returned to the task at hand.

I brought my focus back to the vampire before me. I felt my eyes close briefly and let my fingers travel up to his jaw line. He tensed but didn't recoil. When I opened them again, I found his burning into mine with a newfound intensity. I hadn't, up until that point, been sure of whether or not he was capable of focusing on me; but in the moment, I felt sure that he was looking right into my soul. I felt my eyebrows knitting together, wondering what he was searching for. Could he even see me? I'd have to ask Carlisle later. If I was granted with a later, that is.

I traced my fingers across his jaw slowly, holding his gaze the entire time. My other hand found the small of his back and I kept it there, hoping it would offer him some small degree of comfort.

As my fingers finally found his cheek, his eyes closed again. He took in a sharp, ragged breath and held it, his jaw tense under my touch. He was growling softly again, but it no longer made me afraid. I knew if he wanted to hurt me he'd have already done so, and as long as I kept myself in check, I figured it was entirely possible that he would let me live.

I caressed his sunken cheek for several seconds before moving to his forehead. His hair was caked in filth and god knows what else, and I swiftly brushed it from his face, softly rubbing the skin there for a minute.

As I reached over to stroke his hair, I felt the muscles in my back strain. I had been crouching on my toes for somewhere around an hour, I guessed, and my body was finally beginning to tell me that it was too much. With one more graze of my hand, I decided to move from my crouching position into sitting.

My change in position startled him and he gasped and flinched, but didn't move to attack. I leaned my back against the wall next to his knees. I could see his toes, his calves and his knees, his hands tucked securely around them. I moved to touch his leg and a fierce growl erupted from his chest as he pulled them closer.

I couldn't see his face anymore but I could guess that it was buried again.

I switched tactics, not wanting to frighten him further. I noticed on his wrist was a thin white band, sort of like you see at a hospital. I reached for it. As soon as my skin made contact with his he cringed again, but his muscles quickly relaxed. I felt the urge to pry his fingers from his legs, to let him stretch his muscles a little, but I decided against it. If I knew anything, it was that these things would have to be done at his pace.

I laid my hand on his, rubbing his arm just above the bracelet. I slipped a finger underneath it and felt a tremor go through his body. It wasn't tight, but it wasn't loose enough to slip off. I leaned in to look at it, wondering if it would give me his name. It didn't, just a series of numbers and a barcode.

_Where did you come from?_

I sighed and let my fingers caress the skin underneath the wristband. He was too strong for me to actually have any effect when I tried to loosen his grip a little, and he was unwilling to meet my efforts halfway. So we stayed there, me gently rubbing his hand and wrist, him sitting perfectly still.

***

After what seemed like hours, I heard the door open. I looked up to see Esme standing in the doorway at the top of the steps, her eyes filled with both consternation and relief.

The light shining through the doorway briefly stung my eyes, but I forgot all about it when the vampire began the low growling once more. He had done this when I entered, as well as when Alice and Carlisle had entered, so it didn't surprise nor scare me when Esme received the same treatment. What did worry me, however, was what happened next.

Carlisle stood quickly and turned to leave the basement while Esme began walking down the stairs.

_What? No! Please stop.. please, please stop! _ My mind shouted at her, hoping she would receive the message before it was too late. It's not as if she could read my thoughts; I could only hope that the fear in my eyes was as visible as that of my internal monologue.

Was she crazy? She had to have known this kind of thing would get me killed, didn't she?

My vampire's growling grew aggressive and, for the first time that evening, I put some pressure on his hand. I wanted to convey to him that no one was going to hurt him and that I would do everything in my power to protect him, no matter what. I guess we both knew that I didn't actually hold any power in this company.

Suddenly, so quickly I didn't know what was happening, he shifted. He curled himself into a crouch, the first hostile position he had held all evening. His trembling back was now facing me, so low to the ground that he was almost sitting. His growling turned into a snarl and Esme froze.

I slowly put my hand on him and he flinched violently before regaining what little control he had. He turned his head slowly toward me, and for the first time, I saw emotion in his black eyes. Confusion, regret, longing, fear, pain, frustration. Pain. Beautiful. I had the irrational urge to reach out and stroke his face, but held back. He wasn't acting submissive as he had been. This was the vampire. Ready to kill Esme if she continued on her path.

I rubbed my hands up his back and his eyes closed briefly, his growling calming slightly.

"Bella," Esme said as softly as possible, but loud enough for me to hear her. "Carlisle wants to get a look at him. He needs to calm down a bit before we can even think about approaching him, though." She gestured to the blanket she was carrying.

"Leave it on the steps?" Would a blanket offer him any comfort at all? I guess it couldn't hurt. Maybe it'd even make him feel a little bit more secure.

She set the blanket at her feet and retreated back up the staircase. "I can't..." she whispered. "I can't leave you alone down here, Bella."

I rolled my eyes but otherwise ignored her as she sat at the top step, much like Carlisle had.

"I'll be right back," I whispered, and slowly pulled my hands away from him. His eyes were still closed, but he returned to his earlier position, sitting in the corner with his back to us.

I briefly wondered if this was a trick to get me away from him. Once I was out of his reach there'd be nothing stopping them from grabbing me and forcing me upstairs. I frowned, knowing that this was a very real possibility. Could this be the last time I would ever see him? I would have to make sure that wasn't the case.

I looked at the vampire then back to Esme, trying to figure out what to do. Esme of all people wouldn't force me away from him, would she? She was too compassionate for that. She knew as well as I did that he could've hurt me by now but didn't, right?

I sighed and moved to get the blanket off of the steps. Fixing my gaze on Esme the entire time, I made it within an arms reach. I stretched my body to grab it, determined not to let her interfere. She smiled and shook her head, silently telling me she wasn't going to stop this.

I took the blanket and began walking back toward the corner. I wondered if we would be back at square one with the growling and the fear. I prayed to any god that might be listening that we wouldn't.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when I turned to see Jasper at the top of the staircase, prepared to help me at the first sign of trouble. He still had that pained look in his eye that I saw in the car, and I wondered if it was because of the emotions coming from my vampire. I felt my nerves slipping further and further into calmness with each step, though, and the vampire didn't make another sound.

_Thank you, Jasper._

It wasn't until I was within a yard or two of him that the rumbling began, but it was quiet and reserved, seemingly pure instinct.

I approached him more quickly than the last time, and within a minute I was at his back. I reached out slowly to touch him and his growling increased, so I made my movements more hesitant. He was still afraid of me but I was more confident this time. Between Jasper helping me and having already gone through this once, I felt more prepared for his reactions.

When my hand contacted his back he flinched, but by this point I expected it. His growling quickly calmed. I gingerly laid the cover over his shaking shoulders and sat in front of him, as I had earlier. He moved his hand to clutch the end of the blanket that was hanging limply off of his shoulders and I smiled warmly. _Progress._ I looked back to Jasper and Esme who were both staring wide-eyed at this display.

I began rubbing his fingers again, a little less reserved than I had been. The blanket seemed to help with the trembling, but I wasn't naïve enough to believe that he felt anywhere near secure. So I just sat with him, rubbing his hands and willing him to calm down.

**

**Carlisle POV**

When Esme came to take over for me my first instinct was to feel relief. It had been hell, sitting there, watching Bella so carelessly risk her life and not being able to do anything about it. I couldn't leave her down there by herself out of principle, but I might as well have. In truth, if any of us had attempted to forcibly remove her from the basement that would've sealed her fate. I don't imagine she'd have met a pretty end.

And, although we asked her to move away from him, naturally she refused. She was as prepared as Bella ever is to give her life for him, and that was one of the most unsettling parts about this whole thing. I had no idea why she was being so ridiculous and careless, but I had learned over the past year that looking for motivation behind Bella's actions was futile. She didn't think the same way other humans did. Normally we, as a family, found it endearing and occasionally humorous, but this situation was anything but light. Her antics were quite possibly going to get her killed and I wasn't sure how the family would make it through such a disastrous outcome.

When Esme had walked in and the vampire began growling again, I felt a brief flash of panic. _Was this it?_ I'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop for over two hours and had little confidence in the events unraveling before my eyes. I felt certain that, at any given point, the vampire would lose whatever control he was using to keep Bella alive.

"I'll stay down here for a bit," she spoke so softly that only the two of us could hear.

"Are you sure? Esme --"

"Yes, it'll be fine. I won't let anything happen to her." She smiled, as if she had any control over the situation. We both knew otherwise.

I gave a weak smile in response and stood, hoping that as soon as Esme was settled down the vampire would relax some.

I joined the others in the living room. I glanced around at the surrounding faces, noticing varying degrees of pensiveness mixed with worry displayed on each. I stared out the window for a few brief seconds before we heard it. It was unmistakable; the vampire was turning aggressive. We could hear the change in tone and volume of his growls. I immediately turned to head back toward the basement when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll go," Jasper whispered. Of course it made sense for him to go, but the closer he was to the vampire, the more painful the situation became for him. We tried to keep him as far away as possible but still close enough to step in if he needed to.

Jasper walked out of the room and seconds later we heard the growling calm. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"What's going to happen?" I turned to Alice.

She looked at me grimly and whispered, "I don't know."

"His future is changing?"

"Pretty regularly," she said, panic creeping into her voice. "I... I can't get a good look at him at all... Anytime I get a glimpse of what's to happen, it gets cut short and changes. I can only see minutes ahead of time, and even then it's not completely clear."

"Okay, it's okay. What about Bella?" Bella had become our utmost concern since we got back that evening and found her creeping down the stairs. We had left with Jasper, just went a mile or so out so that he could have a break from the emotional whirlpool that was our houseguest. We left Emmett and Rosalie at the house to keep an eye on things, but apparently they had decided it was an appropriate time for... whatever it is they decided to do.

They didn't even notice Bella had come in by the time we got back. If not for Alice's vision of Bella opening the basement door, we might not have returned for hours.

"That's not the most unsettling part of this whole thing…" Alice broke me from my reverie. "Since she apparently has no plans of leaving his side until... I don't know, something happens to _force_ her to... I can't get a clear read on her, either."

"Well, I, for one, don't understand it," Emmett cut in. Jasper had returned now, looking ready to attack Emmett for his thoughtless commentary. Apparently the aggression from downstairs was taking its toll. "Why is Bella being so... _Bella_ with this guy, anyway? Someone's got a crush?"

"I don't think any of us necessarily understand it, Emmett," Alice answered, sounding drained.

"What's there to understand?" I asked. "It's Bella we're talking about." I smiled fondly. While this situation was dire, it was still nice to see the... _humanity_... some humans still possessed.

Alice scowled. "Yes, it's BELLA we're talking about. Downstairs. With the vampire. Ready to become his first meal in god knows how long and we're sitting up here having a picnic."

"Alice," I said, moving over to her and putting my hand on her shoulder. "We're going to do everything we can to make sure she stays safe. Hopefully soon she'll be ready to at least... I don't know... use the bathroom or something, then we can try to talk some sense into her."

"I don't know. I don't know. We just need to figure things out, the sooner the better. If anything happens to her, Carlisle…"

"Okay, you're right. I _think_ he's alright to be around her for now. So long as no one comes remotely near him, he seemed to be okay..." I explained.

"As soon as Esme opened the door, though..." Jasper added, shaking his head. Yes, it was all too risky for comfort... but we were at an impasse. There weren't a lot of options and the ball was entirely in Bella's court.

"Right. Any movement at all seems to startle him. In any case, I'd like to at least assess his injuries within the next few hours. And at some point he'll need to feed. We can't have Bella around for either of those things..."

"I can't see Esme. I can't see you. I can't see Jasper." Alice began rambling from the corner. "I'm broke. I'm broke, Jasper. Something is broke."

"But you can see me," Emmett said happily.

"Yes, I can see you, Emmett. And Rose…"

"It'll be alright, Al. Once things get a little more settled hopefully things will clear up." Jasper tried to console her, but it was useless. Her visions were worthless for the moment and she hadn't had to deal with that since she was changed.

"You should call Bella's father... it's almost 11..." Rose spoke for the first time of the night. And she was right, the last thing we needed was Chief Swan breaking down the door just in time to watch his only daughter be consumed by a blood thirsty vampire.

"You're right. I'll be back," she said as she made her way outside, towing Jasper with her. I was grateful for that, Jasper was having an incredibly hard time, and every moment it was growing harder. We'd have to figure out something to do, and quickly.

When they returned an hour later we began discussing the very real issues we were about to face. My knowledge on the effects of such a long period of starvation was limited, but the fact that his injuries were not healing on their own spoke significantly. Hell, the fact that he even _had_ injuries was enough to nullify every bit of knowledge I had on vampire physiology.

I figured that the best way to help him would, no matter what, start with examining him. He was weak and I knew he wouldn't take well to being looked at, but if one of us could get a secure hold on him hopefully he would settle down some. I didn't relish the thought of holding him down while I looked over his broken body, but I couldn't see another way.

It would have to be Jasper, though. Jasper was going to be our greatest ally in this whole mess of a situation.

"Jasper," I began, his head snapped up and he searched my eyes. "I want to try to approach him in a bit. I'll need your help."

We spoke for the next few hours about how exactly to calm him down enough for me to look at him.

**

**Bella POV**

Eventually I must have drifted to sleep, because the next thing I knew I was awoken by a fierce snarling.

**

**A/N**:

Next chapter I'll be able to move forward some. Like I said, I could've just made one big long 'chapter two', but I split it up.

I had this chapter written with some excessive hokeyness and.. since I was so giddy with feedback.. I decided to practice self control and rework some of the garb out of it!

Review if you liked it, review if you didn't :) I'd like to know how you all are feeling about this.


	4. The Exam

**A/N**:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Review at the end so I know if I hit or missed, this chapter was harder for me..

There's now a board dedicated to this story over at Twilighted!

**twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=33&t=2878**

The Exam

**Bella POV**

My eyes quickly darted around the room, horrified by the sounds coming from my vampire. My pupils were slowly adjusting to the light coming in, and I finally began to see the scene unfolding before me; part of me wished I couldn't. For a short-lived moment, I wondered if I was dreaming. My hope was squashed as a new round of growling commenced; I hadn't heard this particular growl yet and it was very nearly made me afraid of him. I looked sideways at the vampire and his hands were clenched into tight fists around his trembling knees.

I could feel the terror creeping into my body as the figures approaching me slowly came into focus. Carlisle and Jasper? My brain still wasn't fully functional but I was pretty sure they weren't planning on stopping.

"Bella," Carlisle said over the growls. "You need to go upstairs for a bit."

My eyes grew wide and jaw tensed. "I don't _need_ to go upstairs. Don't come any closer, you're scaring him." My anger quickly dissipated and was followed by calm. The vampire's growls eased.

"Stop it, Jasper. Please just go," I looked directly at Jasper, who stood unmoving next to Carlisle, still several yards away from us. In the back of my mind I knew whatever they had planned was probably in everyone's best interest, but the need to protect him overpowered those thoughts. In the moment, I couldn't imagine how _anything _good would come of this encounter.

"We're not going to hurt him, Bella. You know that," Carlisle spoke softly at me, searching my eyes for resignation. He'd have to do better than that to get me to leave the vampire's side. "Bella, please. I just want to look at him."

"You can look at him while I'm here," I attempted to sneer, but the words came out softly. _Damn you, Jasper._ I needed my anger on my side right now; the impending battle would be hard enough to win if I were strong and awake. Calm and tired would never suffice.

"No, Bella," Jasper took a small step forward. I could see the vampire tense up and shift slightly. "You can't be down here. You need to understand that he's not strong enough to hurt us. If you were to get in the way he could no doubt kill you, even if it was only an accident."

My gaze darted between the two of them. They couldn't be serious. My life had been in a constant state of risk for the last several hours. It was quite obvious that I had ceased to care where this matter was concerned.

_I ceased to care about my life? Maybe the calm was helping me, afterall._

"We're not going to hurt him, Bella," my eyebrows knit together. Couldn't they see that just their _being_ here was hurting him? "I just want to make sure he's alright; have you gotten a look at any of his injuries?" My eyebrows pulled together further in frustration. Carlisle took my expression as a confirmation and nodded knowingly. "I thought you might have. He's covered in them, Bella. And he isn't healing, and I have no idea why that is. I just want to get a better understanding of how severe it is. It's not my aim to cause him any more discomfort than necessary."

Of course it wasn't his aim. I never doubted Carlisle's sincerity or his honorable intentions, in fact, somewhere inside of me I knew that this confrontation was inevitable.

I simply couldn't let go of the fact that this man was absolutely defenseless and had no control whatsoever over what was done to his body. He needed someone to fight for him, and I was the only person in the position to do so. Naturally, however, the two of us we were the weakest creatures in a few mile radius. But I couldn't simply ignore the fact that he didn't _want_ Carlisle near him. He was afraid and I was the only person who would bother standing up for him, and I wasn't going to take that job lightly.

"I can't let you do this, Carlisle. Give him the night," my voice turned begging. What was I even asking for? The benefits of getting it out of the way early were undeniable, but I still couldn't shake my uneasiness. Maybe it would be better for him to get this exam out of the way so that he could possibly start to heal? Obviously sitting in the basement wasn't helping him at all.

As if reading my mind, Carlisle answered, "Bella, it won't do any good. The sooner we get this done the better. Besides, it's past midnight and you need to get some rest. You have school still and we can't have your father show up with the entire squad to retrieve you."

"Please don't make me leave him," I could feel the tears surfacing and fought them back. I knew on some level that letting myself cry might appeal to Carlisle's sympathetic side and thus giving me the upper hand, but manipulation wasn't what I was going for. It didn't matter, within seconds a new wave of calm and resignation covered me and the vampire, putting both of us briefly at ease and keeping my tears at bay.

"Stop it, Jasper," I said again.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Carlisle is right. And we really, _really_ don't want you getting harmed for nothing. It'd be a shame for him to kill you on _accident_ after he's expended so much energy keeping you alive," he smiled sadly.

I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but his nonchalance was the tipping point of my emotional hurricane. The tears sprung to my eyes immediately and I began openly sobbing. I wasn't trying to be whiney, as I knew I was coming off, but the hopelessness of the whole thing was taking its toll.

I recognized that I had a limited amount of options: obviously I couldn't stay in the basement for the rest of my life, it wouldn't work. And, no matter what, the instant I left his side things would inevitably change.

Jasper, feeling my defeat, smiled knowingly at me. "It needs to be done, Bella. You've done so much for him already, do _this _for him. The only way he'll ever get better is if we can get near him."

"Are you going to feed him, too?"

"I'll stop at the hospital first thing tomorrow to get blood," Carlisle smiled.

"Why don't you hunt for him tonight and..."

Carlisle shook his head. "I considered that. I'm not sure if a dead animal will appeal to his senses, which he seems to be relying heavily upon at the moment. But it's probably worth a shot. I suppose it couldn't hurt..." He smiled at me. Placating me. _Perfect_.

Alice appeared on the staircase and reached her hand out to me. "C'mon, Bella. You look like hell, and that really can't be comfortable," she smiled.

It wasn't comfortable at all, in fact. I hadn't really noticed prior to it being mentioned, but now that I thought about it, my neck hurt and shoulders were killing me.

I turned my body so I was facing the overly serene vampire next to me. I put my hand on his wrist and rubbed it gently, raising my other hand to his face. If I was being honest, the calm that Jasper was putting on him was nice. To be able to touch him without the perfunctory growl made my lips twitch into a small smile. When my fingers made contact with his forehead he flinched, but he remained silent.

He opened his eyes to me, turning his head so that I could see his face better.

I tried to make my smile as warm as possible. I think that my concern was written plainly on my features, but he continued to gaze at me, displaying no emotion at all, while I gently brushed the hair from his forehead. His eyes closed after a second and he took a deep breath. He growled softly then, maybe at the smell of the other people in the room, maybe at something else… but I think he knew.

With a gentle squeeze on his hand, I stood. I turned silently and he began to growl as I walked toward Alice. The tears were flowing again but I didn't turn around. I had to get out before I did something stupid. _I'll come right back after they're done_, I promised myself.

By the time I reached Alice on the staircase I was a hopeless wreck. I could barely hear the growling over my own sobbing and I practically fell into her grasp.

"You need a break from this, Bella," she whispered to me. It was the truth, I couldn't even deny it. I didn't _want_ a break from this, but I knew that both my mind and body needed to step back for a minute.

"I don't want to leave him alone down here," I answered softly, the last bout of tears drying up.

"He won't be alone, Carlisle and --," she stopped, understanding hitting her. "He'll be safe. They won't let anything bad happen to him. Come on, let's go upstairs for a bit."

I took her hand and followed solemnly up the steps. Alice closed it behind us and began dragging me into the living room.

"No," I pulled back, leaning against the door.

"Bella, come on. It's not going to help anything if you make yourself sick or something. Come to the living room with me, we can order a pizza?"

"I'm not hungry." I closed my eyes, my weight falling to the floor. I leaned my back against the wall adjacent to the basement door. "What time is it?" I wondered aloud.

"Almost one. Carlisle insists that you go to class tomorrow but we're trying to convince him that you won't have the energy. He's just concerned."

I shook my head. I hadn't even considered school. Honestly, in my plans to spend the next eighty years in the basement, nothing of the outside world had played any role. Sigh.

Alice came up next to me and slid her body down the door so that she was sitting with me. She pulled me up to her and I leaned my head on her shoulder. I wondered how long they would be down there.

My thought process was interrupted by an onslaught of growling coming from the basement. I felt the bile rise in my throat and fled to the bathroom, praying that the distance would save me from knowing his pain. It didn't.

***

**Jasper POV**

Truly, I was a fucking train wreck. It hadn't subsided since the afternoon when we found him and I was coming to a point that I couldn't take it anymore. While it was a livable discomfort in the beginning, now every time he cringed, I found myself cringing.

My position had truly helped Bella with her case thus far. Although we tried to stay as far away from the basement as possible, the distance couldn't overcome the intensity of his emotions. That evening, when we had decided to take a walk, I was just on the brink of insanity.

Alice and Carlisle had gotten a head start back to the house to try to prevent the events that she had seen unfolding, but I had stayed back with Esme, grasping onto the brief time I had left before reengaging.

When I got back to the house, however, it wasn't the vampire's emotions that had pummeled me. I was assaulted, first and foremost, with worry. I received a massive heap of it in the form of Alice, smashing her anguished frame against mine. As I entered the living room, Carlisle's became apparent too. In the background somewhere was the fear, but it was nowhere near as intense as it had been before I left the house.

For that, despite Bella's predicament, I had been grateful. It wasn't as if I could feel his physical pain; that wasn't my area of expertise. It was more that I could feel his absolute terror every single fucking time he was startled. And having Bella down there seemed to have calming effects of its own, so I couldn't completely regret her decisions. I even tried to convince the others that maybe it wasn't so bad after all. They disagreed.

But now, as I hesitantly stepped toward him, his fear had returned tenfold. Carlisle stood back, hoping that if we kept the numbers even the vampire wouldn't be inclined to attack. It was worse now than at any point during the day. Even when we had initially confronted him in the woods his disposition was moderately more composed than this. I took a shaky breath, trying to calm both of us.

I could feel my own hands trembling with fear and I wished more than anything that he would relax some. It was a vicious catch 22 that I found myself in; I had to step closer to calm him down, every time I stepped closer he grew more fearful, every time he grew more fearful I grew more fearful, and when I was this afraid, it was harder to exert a calm.

I let out the breath I was holding and stopped. I needed to get a grip on myself. I closed my eyes and focused on remaining tranquil. _There is nothing to be afraid of. He can't hurt me. I have the upper hand. There is nothing to be afraid of_. Why was I so afraid? I knew why.

I turned back toward Carlisle while contemplating my move. Slow or fast, slow or fast.

I could close the gap between us in a millisecond, get a strong grip on him and hopefully the close contact would make it easier to calm him down. But on the same token, my fear made it almost impossible to do so.

I turned back to my target and decided to make quick work. I visualized my plan of attack and he, in some sort of anticipation of my imminent approach, began growling more fiercely than I had heard from him yet. I knew if I waited too long I'd lose my window and be overcome by all the shit that was radiating off of him, so I launched myself forward.

I didn't use much force because, frankly, I doubted he was strong enough to move at this point, but I spun him quickly so I was crouching behind him, his back to my chest, my arms locked around him. Carlisle gestured toward the empty table that lined the opposite wall, so I lifted us both slowly off the ground and made quick work of the room, utilizing the little calm that we both had left.

The contact of our bodies allowed me to relax him further than I otherwise would have been capable of, but it wasn't enough. He still growled and thrashed weakly against my grip and I still cringed internally with my new fit of panic.

I quickly discovered that it wasn't difficult to manage him. He was far weaker than we had anticipated. In retrospect, I was probably the worst person for this job, as I, without a doubt, had a harder time handling him than anyone else would have.

I laid him face-down on the table and Carlisle approached us rapidly, medical bag in tow. I shook my head sadly as I felt the vampire's defeat laced with hopelessness. It was agonizing.

Carlisle came up next to me and placed a tentative hand on the shaking form in front of us, whispering "we're not going to hurt you," over and over.

I could tell it was having no effect, save for the burst of anxiety at his touch, but I didn't tell him that. _Let him think he's helping…_

The fear was coming off of the vampire in waves as Carlisle inspected the wounds covering his back. He wasn't struggling, I wasn't sure if he had any struggle left in him. He just lay lifelessly on the table; the only outward sign of his anguish were the tremors flowing through him.

Only once did he try to lift himself from the table; his arms had quickly given out under his weight, though, and he instantly fell back down.

After Carlisle was satisfied with examining the vampire's back, we turned him so his chest was exposed. While it caused a multitude of pain and horror to stem from the man, he still made no move to escape.

His chest was significantly more damaged than his back had been. His torso was covered in gaping wounds. They were bloodless, of course, but still deep gashes ran the length of his ribs. One particularly gruesome wound followed his sternum. There were several smaller wounds covering his abdomen, arms and legs, similar to those on his back.

When Carlisle applied pressure to his ribcage his back arched up and a pained whimper emanated from his throat. My knees gave out and I collapsed, catching myself on the table.

"You need to stop, or I need to leave… it's too much."

Carlisle looked sadly at me. "You're right. I won't touch him again, just stay with me for a few minutes. Do you smell that?"

I shook my head, trying to clear my deranged mental state. I inhaled deeply, purposively. "What exactly am I looking for?" I needed a hint; I was in no mood to try to interpret vague riddles.

"There's something not right about his scent," Carlisle continued. "I picked it up a little in the woods, but couldn't make much of it. I was thinking about analyzing his venom against mine at the hospital? Maybe something will turn up. Either he's not healing from the lack of nourishment or there's something else in his system keeping him down. I just need to figure out what…"

I nodded. As little sense as it made, it was as good as anything else we had going for us. None of us had any idea why he wasn't healing so I anticipated some straw-grasping would take place until we figured it out.

Carlisle put his hand nonchalantly on the vampire's forehead. The three of us winced in succession and Carlisle withdrew, opting to go for his wrist instead. "This is interesting, as well…" He began, mostly to himself.

He tapped the little band surrounding the vampire's frail wrist before slipping a finger underneath it and breaking it at its seam. He stretched it out in front of him to get a look, his eyebrows knitting together in uncertainty. He bent down to put the strip in his bag and retrieved a needle-less syringe.

At the sight of this, the vampire abruptly began growling viciously and thrashing under my hold. I felt panic surge through my body and heard myself growling in tandem with him. I turned all my focus to calming him down enough that I could resist the urge to flee from the basement altogether. I was _afraid _for him. I knew Carlisle was just getting a venom sample and that it wouldn't hurt him in the least, but I couldn't _not_ fear that inoffensive little syringe. _Bella would be proud_.

"Hang on, almost done," Carlisle whispered, but was interrupted by the basement door bursting open and a figure flying down the staircase.

***

**Bella POV**

I couldn't take it anymore. They were hurting him. I could hear his tortured noises from my position next to the door. I unceremoniously launched myself toward the noise and the next thing I knew I was, quite literally, flying down the stairs. I closed my eyes waiting for the impact but my fall was broken by Alice, who managed to beat me to the bottom of the staircase.

I brushed myself off and my eyes darted to the corner. Empty. I glanced around the room and found Carlisle openly gaping at me while Jasper held down my thrashing vampire. I screamed for Alice to let me go but she refused.

"Come on, Bella. Carlisle is almost finished up here. It's really late, Bella. You need to get to sleep.."

My eyes filled with tears at the scene in front of me and I found myself fighting against Alice, who was trying desperately to keep me safe despite my best efforts. I knew it probably wasn't the most intelligent idea, but I needed to go to him. I needed him to know that I was doing what I could to protect him, even if it wasn't enough.

"Bella, we're not hurting him. I'm just going to take some of his venom so I can try to fig—"

A loud sob broke through my chest and Carlisle abruptly quieted. With one last thrash I was released from Alice's grip and darted to the table where he laid. His movements grew more panicked with my approach and Jasper closed his eyes, visibly tensing as a result of all the new emotions surrounding him.

My vampire's fists were clenched but I covered one of them with my hands. My vision was blurred by a fresh round of tears while I ran one hand up to his face and brushed his hair away. His thrashing eased a little and his gaze fell directly on mine. He was trying to communicate something to me but I had no idea what.

"You need to move your hands from his face, Bella," Carlisle whispered. I looked at him, curiosity evident in my eyes. "I'm going to get some venom from him.. It won't hurt him, but he's pretty worked up," he paused briefly. "Bella, I'm not arguing his intentions, and I certainly realize that he doesn't deserve this, but it's irrelevant. I don't want you getting hurt."

I moved my fingers from his forehead and squeezed his fisted hand gently.

Carlisle brought the syringe up to his lips and gently coaxed his mouth open. I'm not sure what exactly this triggered in the vampire, but panic wasn't a strong enough word anymore. His whole body began violently thrashing again, the growls erupting from deep within his chest, his fingers and arms tense as he flailed uselessly against Jasper and Carlisle's grips.

I instinctually backed away from his hand, knowing the trouble I could get my arm into. I moved my efforts to focus on his forearm, where he couldn't unleash his full fury. I was crying again, but it was nothing compared to what he was going through.

"Shh, calm down... calm down, please..." I sobbed. "Please, please, please, calm down. We don't want to hurt you, shh... " It was all futile. He was too far gone to even hear my voice, let alone my words. But I had to at least try.

Carlisle tried to remain stoic through the outburst, but he was clearly shaken. He placed his hand on the vampire's forehead, an attempt to steady him, and forced the syringe into his mouth, getting his venom sample and withdrawing as quickly as possible.

"You've done him a great service tonight, Bella. I honestly don't know where we'd be right now if you didn't go to him, although I imagine he'd still be in that corner. And I know that you may not see how this is helping yet, but in time.. at least getting a look at his injuries is a good start," he smiled.

He was right about at least one thing: in that moment, I saw absolutely no way in which this was helping him. I saw that we were the source of more pain after this man had been to hell and back, and I absolutely hated myself for ever leaving his side to begin with.

"You need to step back so we can let him up, Bella," Alice finally spoke.

Reluctantly, I removed my hand from his arm and took a few steps back. Carlisle and Alice flanked me, prepared to protect me from any physical harm that might come my way. They failed to realize I was already so emotionally broken that it didn't matter; I didn't think I could possibly hurt anymore than I did now.

Jasper helped him off the table and as soon as his feet hit the ground, the vampire quickly stumbled all the way back against the wall, falling to the floor and edging himself along until he hit the corner. He instantly turned his back to the open space and hugged his knees. I tried to approach him but his growling remained vicious, despite Jasper's efforts.

Still, I attempted to move closer, uninhibited by his aggression. I stopped short as his body shifted into a crouch. I met his eyes for one instant and saw pure, unadulterated hate.

My heart broke.

"I think we should maybe give him some time," Jasper whispered to me. In that moment, I didn't have it in me to resist anymore. At the first sign of my resignation, Jasper held his hand out to me. I shook my head, a few more tears falling free, and turned to walk up the stairs.

He regretted letting me near him. He didn't want me by his side anymore. Any faith he had built in me was now wrecked. I felt so utterly defeated. I knew he needed some time to compose himself and, although it wasn't in my heart to grant him that, I just couldn't fight it right now. My body was too exhausted and I couldn't make my mind work against it.

My frame shook with sobs as I ascended the stairs. The others followed behind me, whispering words of encouragement that were completely lost on me. There was only one thing that would make me feel better right now and he hated me.

I found a small degree of comfort in the realization that I'd go to him again soon.

When we reached the top of the staircase, Carlisle turned off the basement light and closed the door behind us. As he turned the bolt, I heard the growling slowly ease.

Impossibly, my heart broke a little more.

**

**A/N**: Ahh, there you have it. It was a little rougher than the last few, I tried to read it everyday and adjust it so that it could be it's best, but I need to know how you guys feel about it, so review! Thanks :)


	5. The Next Day

**A/N**: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight & Co.

Epic thanks to OCD for starting the Twilighted board & saving me from failing all around!

twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=33&t=2878

**

The Next Day

**Bella POV**

I pressed my foot further into the pedal, willing my truck to comply.

**

After we had left the basement last night, I had curled up on the couch, finally letting my muscles relax. Initially, I had thought that there would be no way I could sleep. However, after several minutes of reflecting on the events that had taken place throughout the evening, I found myself drifting off. I welcomed the break from reality.

I had been awoken a few hours later by Esme, asking if I was able to go to school. I knew if I ditched class there would be no way Charlie would let me come back here tonight, so I mustered all the willpower I could find and lifted myself from that couch.

The rest of the day had followed in a similar fashion. I was in class, but I wasn't really there. I couldn't make myself focus on anything except regaining my vampire's trust. I thought of all the ways I could approach him but I found faults in all of them. _What if he never trusts me again?_ I knew I had to do this the right way, I just couldn't decide which way that might be.

When the bell rang, releasing me from school, I nearly sprinted to my truck. I was amazed at how much energy I seemed to have now that the end was in my reach. I hopped into the truck and found Alice already sitting in the passenger seat, a tentative smile on her face.

"You need to stop at home, Bella," she said confidently.

"I know," I sighed back. This was one of the things I had been considering all day. I knew I had to go home to leave dinner for Charlie and a note explaining my absence for the evening and then I'd be free for the night. I sighed longingly at the thought. "Are you coming with me?"

"Yep, I'll help you make dinner for Charlie. I actually wanted to talk to you a bit anyway."

_Here we go._ I nodded. "What's up?"

Alice had gone on to warn me of all the different ways this situation was unpleasant. She made sure to tell me that she'd support me in any way that she could, but that I needed to be aware of my own needs: food, sleep and hygiene, all of which had been neglected since dinner last night.

"So," she continued, "I'll fix something for Charlie and you can get cleaned up?"

"Fine."

She raised an eyebrow and half-smiled. "Bella, maybe you should take a nap, too?"

"I'm alright," I attempted to snap, but my yawn ruined the effect.

She chuckled, holding up her hands in surrender. "Just a thought," she nearly whispered.

When we got to my house, I had nearly run up the stairs to the bathroom. After cleaning up and rejoining Alice in the kitchen, she sat me down and shoved a plate of spaghetti into my face.

"Eat," she said with a smile, pulling out the chair next to me. I complied, my stomach eager for the sustenance. "So…" she began.

I looked up from my bowl. _Just spit it out, Alice_.

"Why…"

I rolled my eyes. "Why what?" I could already guess what, but I wasn't going to let her off quite so easily.

"Why'd you do it?" I cocked my head to the side. "Do you realize how dangerous..."

"Yes," I cut her off. "I don't know exactly why I did it, Alice. He's just so alone and afraid and... what kind of person would I be if I hadn't tried to help?"

"A person who sees the value of their life?" She smiled. "I just want you to be careful, Bella. We talked a lot last night about what to do and in the end, we, for the most part, agreed that it'd maybe an okay idea for you to come back tonight. I mean, we all know you won't quit until we give in, but I want you to know that you…basically... have our support."

"Really?"

"In the sense that we're planning to let you back into our home, yes. I can see that we're not going to let you into the basement alone, but I can also see you creeping down the steps again," she said, a small smile playing on her lips. "Right now I see Esme with you, but that seems to be changing often."

I nodded quietly and changed the subject. For some reason I just didn't _want _to talk to Alice about what was going on with me.

We talked for the next half an hour about nothing of importance. I could see her little hints throughout the entire thing, but I was desperate for the light-hearted atmosphere that came with petty gossip. Every time I dodged one of her blatant attempts to bring the conversation back to my vampire I could see her eyes grow a little more frustrated.

When I finished up with dinner the mood change was actually palpable. I was suddenly left with the knot in the pit of my stomach that had been eating away at me throughout the school day. _Time to face the music_. I sighed.

I had left a note for Charlie telling him we were working on a large project that was due on Friday and would be out late, but that I would call him when I knew he would be home.

**

Now, as I stomped harder on the gas pedal, my nerves began to get the better of me. My mind kept replaying every look and movement from the previous night, trying to prepare a plan of attack for tonight. I couldn't help but frown every time I saw that look of betrayal in his eyes and I made it my personal goal to keep fighting for him, no matter how much he hated me. I owed him that much.

"Bella, you can't force this truck to go any faster than it wants to go, you know that."

I glowered out the window and pushed my foot to the floor, the only reaction out of my ancient vehicle being a disgruntled clunk. My fingers tapped furiously on the steering wheel and I willed my nerves to relax. I thought back to this drive almost twenty-four hours ago; I was nowhere near this nervous that time.

"Has anyone been down there?" I asked, eager for the distraction.

"Well, Carlisle tried to go down a few hours ago..." I anticipated a very different response, so when Alice answered my eyes immediately snapped up to meet hers.

"_What?_" I shook my head in a vain effort to clear it. "Really? What happened?"

"Umm, well..." she began slowly before it poured out. "Carlisle didn't want to try to feed him with you there because then you'd have wanted to be in the room, and while the general assumption might be that you would understand the danger in that, you don't seem to see the danger in any of this."

"So he ate?" My whole face lit up and I could feel a huge weight taken off my chest. I was brought back down to Earth when I noticed Alice's sullen attitude.

"Umm... well, no," she replied softly.

"Alice, _what happened?_"

"Well, Carlisle got blood from the hospital this morning like he promised you," she began, "and then we decided to have Jasper go downstairs and see if he'd eat it. But, because of last night, I think, he wouldn't even let Jasper get all the way down the stairs before he started the crazy growl, so Jasper stopped – tried to calm him down some – but as it turns out, the vampire was so worked up that he was affecting Jasper and not the other way around..."

I sighed, the hole opening back up in my chest. He didn't eat. He didn't let anyone near him.

"… so Jasper left the blood on the foot of the staircase and we all sort of hoped that, since he feels better when no one is down there, he'd be more comfortable eating it. But when Esme went down an hour later the blood was still there. It's not surprising, really. I saw that he isn't fed when you go down there this evening, I don't know why they expected anything different..." She was in full ramble mode now as I began trying to clear my head.

_Why wouldn't he eat?_ Although my vampire knowledge was somewhat inadequate, I was always under the assumption that if a vampire smells blood they eat it. If a vampire is _thirsty_ and smells blood then there's almost no way for them to prevent themselves from eating it. He was making this so much more difficult then it needed to be.

I finally reached the long driveway and pulled in, completely oblivious to what I was going to do about my vampire.

**

"Bella," Carlisle smiled while Esme pulled me into a hug.

"We're glad you came back, honey," Esme chimed into my ear.

"Of course I came back." I glanced around the living room at the wide-eyed figures, trying to decide what exactly they had expected me to do. "Where's Jasper?"

"Oh, he left a little after," Esme shot a questioning look at Alice. After Alice's answering nod, she continued, "after he went downstairs earlier. It's all been so difficult on him, and now it seems like when he's anywhere near the basement… well, it takes its toll on them both."

I nodded.

"Are you planning on going back downstairs, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

I wasn't sure what their game was, but that particular question caught me completely off guard. "I… had... yes…?"

"We've each given this whole thing a lot of thought, and Alice says that he shouldn't try to hurt you tonight. So we were wondering – hoping – that, with you there, he'd let one of us into the basement as well? Sort of… try to get him somewhat comfortable around one of us so that maybe we'll be able to get him to feed soon? This afternoon he wouldn't let Esme or Jasper anywhere near him, but maybe if we can get him to feel a little more secure with one of us he'd be a little less anxious when we approach him alone?"

I shrugged. It sounded like a fine plan, save for the fact that their presence would add to his desire to eat me. I suppose we weren't trying to think in those terms just yet.

"Okay," Carlisle nodded. "Would you like some dinner?"

"No thanks," I said softly, my heart accelerating at the dread of what was to come. Honestly, I wasn't afraid at all of him hurting me physically; it was the idea of absolute rejection that was horrifying. I knew that the only option I had was to try again.

As I walked toward the basement, I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder. "Be careful," she whispered.

I nodded and with one last deep breath, I slowly opened the door.

**

The feeling of déjà vu crept into my mind as I made my way down the staircase, hoping that he would let me be with him and knowing that I wouldn't be able to stop until he did. Alice was sitting on the top step as Carlisle had yesterday, remaining still and quiet. Her eyes were closed as she leaned against the wall, giving me a false sense of privacy.

With one last deep breath to tide me over until I reached the floor, I began maneuvering the steps. As I slowly made my way down, I recognized that I had no clue what I would do when I got there. I briefly contemplated crawling over to him again, but decided that I'd just do what felt... natural, I guess.

I nearly cried out loud when his body came back into my view. I don't know what I had expected to change overnight, but my heart fell when I realized that everything was the same. Not only was his physical condition no different than when I had left, though, but his disposition hadn't changed at all either. His head was still buried between his knees, his frame still trembling at the sound of my approach. The atmosphere around me immediately darkened, any lightness that had been gathered throughout the day disappearing with my ignorance.

I noticed his back lift as he inhaled sharply. His whole body tensed in reaction to what he smelled. His trembling faltered briefly, but it was enough to give me a little bit of confidence. _He remembers me, for better or worse_. I nodded my head to myself.

I wasn't exactly surprised when he started growling, but it was still disappointing. I had expected it, known it was coming, but still found myself hoping that it wouldn't.

Ignoring his growls, I decided to try something different for the moment.

I made my way to the wall several feet from the corner and slid down it, my back resting and my legs outstretched in front of me. I put my hands on my knees and sat still for several minutes, contemplating what I would do with this new dynamic.

His face was still hidden from my view and his body still shook, but I hoped that the distance I left between us would help him become more comfortable.

We were both startled when the basement door opened, and Alice gave me a small smile before exiting, closing the door behind her.

_Huh. Interesting._

They had told me that they wouldn't leave me down here alone, so the fact that she just up and left had me reeling. I pushed it aside; there were more pressing matters I was dealing with right now.

I turned my head to look at him. He was still growling softly, still hiding from me. I thought back to what I had done yesterday. On a whim, I decided to speak.

"I don't… I don't know if you can understand me. Really, I don't even know if you can hear me…" I whispered to him. I stopped speaking then, gathering my thoughts and figuring out how I wanted to approach him.

After several seconds of nothing but growling, I spoke again.

"I'm Bella," I whispered. My voiced cracked, but when his growling let up some I decided to keep going. _Can't hurt_…

"I… I don't want to hurt you." Images of the last ninety times I'd spoken this line flashed in my mind and I cringed, but continued, "I wish I knew your name."

I closed my eyes. For a brief second I felt foolish for talking to someone who clearly couldn't understand me, but as quickly as the feelings came, the guilt followed. So I began reminiscing about my childhood aloud. I tried to take myself out of that basement, back to Phoenix, so I could share my happy stories and have them be believable.

I told him about my mom, I told him about my first best friend. I told him about my pet goldfish and wanting to put food coloring into his tank. I told my vampire about when I learned to play _Heart and Soul_ during my only piano lesson, and I told him that I had quit because it hurt my fingers. I remembered my ballet class when I was six, and how proud my family had been when I mustered all my bravery and danced like there was no tomorrow. I told him about my twelfth birthday party and my first crush.

The memories flowed in a continuous stream as I tried to remain tranquil, and I'm not sure the exact point that it happened, but somewhere along the line he stopped growling.

I opened my eyes and found him looking at me, his black eyes devoid of emotion, as they had been all night. But at least they were open. And at least he wasn't growling.

I smiled, elated with the small victory, and stared into his eyes for several more seconds without speaking.

He seemed conflicted about how he felt with my presence, so I decided to be bold.

I crawled closer to him, trying to ignore the reemergence of his growl. I had to be patient, I knew this going in.

I repositioned myself so that I was sitting on the floor next to him, my legs crossed beneath me. His eyes closed as his body trembled, but his growling stayed low and even. I moved my hand to his arm, tracing the veins down his wrist until I met his fingers, tightly clutching his calves.

I understood that he likely wasn't really listening, if he was even capable of it, but I still wanted to choose my words carefully. I sat next to him with my fingers covering his clenched fist, contemplating what I should tell him.

"The Cullen's are good people… really, they are. I know you can't see it yet, but I think one day you might. Everyone just wants to help you and we're all sort of floundering around. We don't understand what happened to you, but we're trying. And we just... we just want to help you."

I gently squeezed his fingers, trying to reiterate my meaning through touch.

His eyebrows pulled into an expression that gave away his raging internal conflict, his black eyes staring directly into mine. I wasn't sure what the battle was, or which way he was swaying, but I could see his trembling growing violently, his shaking hand forcing tremors through my entire arm.

I gripped it firmly and whispered, "It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you." I tried to make my smile as warm as possible, but I know he could see the pain underneath it. "Hey," I whispered. "I'm... I'm sorry... about last... about last night." I took a deep breath, waiting to see if he understood.

He didn't show any outward signs of understanding and I felt myself frowning. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes again. "I... I didn't know. I didn't know that it would be like that. I just... I just wanted to help you... I'm sorry."

I made sure to maintain eye contact so as not to startle him and slowly, I brought my hands up to his face. His body naturally recoiled, as I suspected it would, but when my fingers contacted his skin his eyes closed. He trembled softly but otherwise allowed me to caress him. I pushed his hair from his face, as I had last night, and was unable to contain the smile that was playing on my lips.

He was so beautiful. I couldn't wait until he was healthy.

I moved my hand to the back of his neck, sweeping the hair there away from his skin. I let my fingers graze his neck and jaw, down his arm, up his back. Where I touched him, the tremors followed, but it ceased to matter. We were okay, and I couldn't help but let the weight lift from my shoulders.

I'm not sure what came over me at that moment, but I couldn't stop myself. Watching his body react to my touch and knowing that he didn't hate me triggered something. Slowly, I rose to my knees, closing what little distance there was left between us. His body withdrew further into his corner, but I didn't back off. I raised my other arm to the side of his torso and tentatively attempted to lead him closer to me. His frame jerked at my touch but he otherwise complied with my silent request. I rearranged my legs from under me so I could have better access to him, and carefully, avoiding as many wounds as possible, I wrapped my arms around his waist.

With his body pressed so closely to mine, I could actually feel the growling emanating from his chest, but he didn't pull away.

I thought I would die from the excitement of him letting me do this. His arms hung limply at his sides for several seconds, but eventually, I felt them slowly lift. We were both shaking so hard that I couldn't tell which tremors belonged to which person, but I didn't care. I had my vampire in my arms and we were both safe for the time being.

I could feel his body shaking with broken sobs, shuddering fearfully, but it didn't matter at that moment. My own body was reacting similarly. My eyes welled with tears of excitement and anxiety but I couldn't force the smile from my lips. I snaked one hand up his neck and to the back of his head, forcing his weight onto my shoulder.

"I don't want to hurt you," I sobbed against his hair, knowing, in that moment, that he already knew that. He knew I wasn't his enemy, and he was willing to let me be his ally. I smiled as I held his head, shaking from joy and fear and sadness.

I held his trembling frame for several minutes, telling him in as many ways that I could think of that I wasn't here to hurt him. When my whole body became numb, I shifted. I maneuvered my legs so that they were out in front of me and I was leaning into his corner, never once loosening my grip on him. He didn't fight me.

I guided his head downward until it rested in my lap, and upon contact, he let out a long, shaky breath. He never relaxed, never stopped trembling, but never once did he try to distance us.

While my vampire lay shaking on the floor next to me, I stretched my body and snatched the blanket from last night. I covered us both, and began stroking his quivering face with care that I didn't even know I possessed.

**

**A/N**: Review! I was ELATED with the response from last chapter, keep 'em coming!


	6. The Pillow

**A/N****: **1000x thank you to OCD_Indeed for helping me through the beginnings of my fanficdome & jilburfm for betaing! This chapter is transitional, and for that I am sorry, but I leave you with the promise of a pseudo-bath next chapter.

And all the readers & all the reviewers – I love you.

Link to TVitB Twilighted thread in my profile!

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**

The Pillow

**Alice POV**

"Alice, what are you doing up here? Tell me you didn't leave Bella alone --" Carlisle immediately began the interrogation, but I didn't have the time to deal with it. I put up a finger and yanked out my phone.

_Please, please, please…_

I dialed Charlie's number quickly and waited through several rings, praying that he would pick up.

"Alice?" he answered.

The vision disappeared. I let out a massive breath. "I'm glad you called, I was just about to call Bella."

I struggled to get a hold on myself so that I could convincingly get Charlie off of Bella's back. "Oh," was all I could come up with. _Gotta do better than that, Alice._

"I know she said she'd call but I just wanted to make sure she got there safely. How's the project going, kid?"

"Umm, it's alright. We've got a lot of work ahead of us, which is actually sort of why I was calling. Would it be okay if Bella spent the night again tonight?"

"Well, I don't see the harm in that. Just don't keep her up too late – can I talk to her for a minute?"

"She's at the store right now… getting some things we need for the presentation. I can have her call you in a few hours?"

"Oh, sure. Sounds good," he finished.

"Alright, Charlie. Talk to you later!"

"Bye, Alice." I heard the phone click. I briefly checked Bella to make sure there were no other surprises on the horizon.

_The vampire's head rests in her lap as she pets his face_?

Huh. While I was deciding exactly what to make of that, Carlisle spoke again.

"Alice – what's going on? You left her alone down there? She could get killed!"

I shook my head, still thinking about that vision. "No, no I don't think she could…" I sat down on the piano bench, trying to make sense of everything. "I had to leave her, Carlisle. Or something very bad might've happened…"

"What would've happened, Al?" Emmett spoke up. I smiled at him, tapping my phone.

"Charlie would've called. In fact, he almost did call."

"Would he have hurt Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Maybe. It was sort of unclear, but I know that he'd have lost it. I saw Bella crying. And I saw us trying to approach him, and it was worse than when Jasper went downstairs earlier… It'd have been bad, Carlisle. When her phone vibrated he went crazy."

"Is she okay down there by herself, though?"

"That's the interesting thing. I just checked to see and I sort of think maybe we should give them some space? It seems like we might make more progress if we just let him have some Bella alone time for a while." I smiled, remembering the vision.

"What'd you see?" Emmett asked.

"He lays with her and she talks to him, and the best part is that he seems sort of okay with it…"

"He… lays… with her? Who knew Bella made such quick work!"

After three particularly pointed glances from Carlisle, Esme and myself, Emmett put up his hands in surrender. "Just joking… sheesh."

"Irrelevant, I really think it's okay for now, Carlisle. I'll keep a close eye on her, but I think this is important. Like it might be the key, important…"

"The key to what?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know. Everything, I guess. He clearly isn't interested in letting anyone else near him, and I guess it's fair to say that he doesn't exactly _want_ Bella near him, either, but he's not being aggressive with her at all. Jasper said it even alleviated his fear a little, having her down there, so I mean... as long as he's not hurting her, I think we should give it a shot."

"Alice – you need to be positive that nothing bad will happen to her. Can you be positive of that?"

_Of course I can't_… I smiled outwardly, biting my lip. _You owe me, Bella._

"Yep. Nothing bad will happen to her tonight. She's not even near him right now; I think we should give them a little space."

Carlisle took a deep, contemplative breath. After a few seconds, he nodded. "Okay. Maybe later on one of us should try going down there… and talking to him, maybe?"

I nodded. "Did his venom turn anything up?"

"I haven't gotten a chance to look at it. I was only at the hospital to grab some blood for him, but I work tomorrow. I'll make sure to get it into the lab then."

"Hmm. Well, whatever you do, you probably should do it quickly. I think if he goes hungry for much longer Bella will offer herself as a sacrifice." I rolled my eyes. That'd be just like Bella. "I'm going to go call Jasper, I'll be back down in a bit. She'll be fine, Carlisle. I promise."

**

**Bella POV**

My legs were ready to fall off and the tingling had expanded to the entire lower half of my body, but I still couldn't bring myself to care. I sat there, gazing at my vampire's face, letting a world that didn't involve him cease to matter for the moment.

I kept my eyes trained on his and- for the first time since I'd met him, I felt as if I were actually experiencing his fear. _This must be how Jasper feels._ His eyes remained fixed on the door, never blinking, his head shaking lightly but otherwise unmoving. I found myself nervously glancing at the door also, just waiting for his demons to appear, unable to contain my unease.

He kept his arms wrapped protectively around his stomach, his knees still tightly pulled to his chest, but he had yet to attempt to move away from me. If it was all I could get, I'd take it. It was a step in the right direction.

I let my fingers trail over his cheekbones, his forehead and his chin. I quickly learned to avoid getting too close to his eyes. As I let my hand absently travel along his brow, I was startled by an eruption of growing and a violent flinch. I immediately pulled my hand away from him and vowed to myself not to push him too far tonight.

When my hand approached his face again, he clenched his eyes shut and his head recoiled further, waiting for the impact. Waiting for _me _to hurt him. It was in these moments that I would give anything in the world to undo what was done to him. I shook my head sadly and berated myself for once again losing his faith in me.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered my new mantra, my fingers making contact with his ear and slowly working their way across his cheek. He trembled furiously and his jaw locked tensely while he struggled to move his head away. He inhaled deeply through his nose, his eyes remaining closed, protecting his body in any way that he possibly could.

I looked down at his completely peace-less expression and fought back a fresh round of tears. He was a mess. The dirt caked throughout his hair extended to his face, presumably from laying on the ground. I let my mind wander over all the ways I could go about getting him cleaned some, but came up empty. No matter what, I knew he'd be uncomfortable with it, and I was determined not to lose what little ground I had gained.

I ran my fingers over his forehead, pushing his hair off of his face completely. He let out a shaky breath and abruptly began growling. His whole body became rigid again and I instinctually pulled away. "I don't want to hurt you," I whispered again. _I wish you knew that_…

His growling didn't calm and I started to panic. _What did I do?_ "I'm sorry… I'll stop…"

Just as I began pulling my hands away from his body, the basement door opened.

I felt my vampire's tense frame jolt, the back of his head furiously digging further into my stomach. His growling grew monumentally alongside of his shaking. I tightened the blanket around his shoulders, hoping to give him some security, but it didn't seem to help.

As the door opened, I squinted, trying to make my eyes adjust. _Alice?_ I guess that shouldn't have surprised me, eventually she had to come back.

"Hey, Bella," she spoke softly, sweetly, as if nothing were out of place in this scenario. "How're things going down here?" _Is she joking? _I scowled at her.

"Don't give me that look – Charlie is going to call soon, you need to not let that happen." Her lightness was cancelled out by the rapidly increasing panic from my vampire, and I turned my attention back to him.

I tried to smile at him, although it seemed like he had completely forgotten about my presence. "No one's going to hurt you," I whispered, slowly laying my hand on his neck. He flinched and recoiled, unaffected by my words. My fingers grazed his skin, willing him to calm down some.

With every step Alice took toward us, his panic increased exponentially. As she neared the bottom of the staircase, he started to pull away from me. It was the first time I noticed how weak he actually was; he struggled just to lift his head from my lap. I absently ran my fingers down the side of his face and decided to back up every promise I had made him. "Alice, I think maybe you shouldn't come too close?"

She shrugged. "Don't worry, Bella. I won't come any closer." She slowly sat down on the bottom step, way too close for comfort, but she didn't appear to be leaving. I could feel my frustration growing as my vampire weakly struggled against me. I looked up at Alice hopelessly, silently begging her to back off. Understanding my plea, she retreated up the staircase several steps, repositioning herself closer to the top.

"It's okay," I whispered to him. "No one's going to hurt you…" His ragged breaths were coming quickly now, with every exhale the volume of his growls increasing. "Please calm down," I begged him, the tears once again threatening to spill.

I looked up frantically, having no idea how to fix this. "Alice," I whispered, my voice mainly begging but taking on a hint of the panic that was radiating from my vampire. "Please."

"He'll calm down, Bella. Give him a minute." I waited, unable to breathe until his suffering eased.

His body still rocked violently but his growling let up some. I could at least hear my own thoughts over it now. Progress. I let the back of my fingers graze his cheek and whispered, one more time, "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you." I reached under the blanket, letting my hand follow his arm downward until I found his fist, tightly clenching his stomach. I rubbed his knuckles gently, begging him to relax.

"Jasper said he's comforted by you being here," Alice interrupted our moment. "I wonder why that is…"

"I don't know," I answered. I let a deep breath escape me and I finally tore my gaze from him, letting it fall directly on Alice. "I have no idea."

"Well, I guess it's sort of irrelevant right now. At least he has someone…" She nodded her head decisively, concern taking over her features. "You need to call Charlie, Bella. It's almost eight now, he'll call soon…"

I nodded. My bladder was ready to burst at this point, as well, so it seemed like now was as good a time as any.

"You know, you really are helping him," she said fondly, a genuine smile playing on her lips. "It's sort of incredible…"

While my vampire's growling was slowly easing, his trembling remained violent. I let my fingers absently graze his face, hoping that my touch was somewhat reassuring. I was fairly convinced that that wasn't the case, but I didn't let it deter me. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you," I whispered to him.

I looked back at Alice. "He needs to get cleaned up. When do you think…?"

She shook her head. "I'm not really sure. I think at this point you know better than any of us do? I don't think he'd take well to being put in a bathtub or anything, but maybe soon we can at least get him washed up a little bit?"

I shrugged. "You're the psychic."

"You know it's not really working with him? I mean, I try to see what happens… every few minutes… but it's always changing. I think it's because he doesn't really know what's happening around him. It seems like he can't figure out anything that's going on in his own life so he's operating fully on impulse. It makes it difficult for me to understand what's going to happen."

I turned back to my vampire, pulling the blanket up to his neck. He continued growling and I realized that his trembling hadn't eased at all. I swallowed hard, dreading leaving his side, even if just temporarily.

"Bella – you can come right back. Just take a breather, get some air. Those human needs we talked about? Take care of them. He doesn't have to be alone down here for long."

The familiar feelings of defeat washed over me. Alice was right, as per usual. It was nearly impossible to leave my vampire's side, but realistically, it needed to be done.

I ran my hands over his scalp, gazing at him sadly. "I have to go upstairs," I whispered. "I'll be back soon though, I promise. I won't let anyone come down here while I'm gone…" I'm not sure why I felt the need to talk to him, as he had never once indicated that he understood, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to do. "I'll be right back," I whispered one last time, a vain effort to convince myself that this was the right thing to do.

I gently eased his head off my lap, scooting my body out from under him. I turned to face him, crouching in front of his fetal form, and laid his head down on the ground. I made a mental note to bring a pillow back down, the floor hardly seemed comfortable.

He pulled his body together tightly and closed his eyes, gripping the blanket to his chin. I couldn't hold in the bitter tears, so I retreated quickly.

Upstairs, I did what I needed to do rapidly, my mind desperately attempting to clear itself of the cesspool of emotions. Yesterday morning I had been excited to go shopping. I had dreaded Mike asking me to homecoming, I had thought about my upcoming trip to Jacksonville. Now I couldn't even imagine leaving this house voluntarily. Now I couldn't imagine where my life would be in a month. Would my vampire be in it? Would he be gone? Would he have eaten me by then?

I sat down, leaning against the wall of the gigantic bathroom, my hands making their way deep into my hair and tugging violently. I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to deal with so much pain. I hadn't cried so much since I was a kid, and now, in the brief moments that I wasn't miserable, I was on the verge.

With one last heavy sigh, I lifted myself from the floor and made my way back into the living room. The Cullens were all there, to my surprise, and Alice immediately pulled me to the couch with her.

"You know, no one would blame you if you went home tonight. You could use a good night's sleep," she began.

I shook my head, cutting her off. "Nah, I don't think I'd sleep any better at home. I want to go back downstairs."

She smiled. "I know, and you will," she said, tapping her head.

"We'll try feeding him again tomorrow, while you're at school," Carlisle spoke from the corner, looking out of the huge glass wall. "I don't imagine that he'll eat, but we'll keep trying." He turned to face me, smiling warmly to show me his sincerity.

I closed my eyes and fell back into the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest and letting my thoughts run away with me. I wasn't surprised to find that they all revolved around my vampire.

"I'm going to go back down," I whispered, keeping my eyes closed. "I was thinking about bringing a pillow and an extra blanket for him?"

"Bella… I don't think… a pillow…" Carlisle began, but Esme shushed him. I chuckled humorlessly, understanding his broken thought.

"Of course, sweetie. I'll go get them," she answered.

I stood, stretching my body once more, preparing my muscles for the inevitable hours of sitting downstairs.

"Do you want a glass of water or anything, Bella?" Alice asked, squeezing my hand in her own.

"Sure." We got up and made our way to the kitchen. I quickly chugged the water, letting it soothe my dry throat. I turned to leave then, exhausted and longing for peace of mind.

As I exited the kitchen, Esme appeared and handed me a pillow. I took it with a curt laugh, amused by the idea that I had even thought something like a _pillow _would make him feel better. "Thanks," I whispered, unable to contain my sardonic mirth.

I made quick work of the stairs this time. I was aware that the Cullens were all still edgy about my involvement, but they seemed to be backing off some, and for that I was grateful.

I noticed that he hadn't moved from his side, but he had rolled, his back now facing the open area. It made sense, if he was using his back for protection, but I couldn't dodge the bitter sting of longing. Would he ever be okay?

I saw him tensing up as I closed the space between us, the low rumbling barely audible.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered, biting my lip. I ignored his cowering as much as possible, while still attempting to be sensitive to the fact that he was incapable of trusting me yet. I was completely within reach of him by the time he started his more threatening growl, the delay giving me an extra surge of confidence. I sat down in front of his back, bringing my fingers to his hair.

He tried to pull his head out of my reach, but the wall prevented him from getting far. I reached for his head and lifted it off the ground, slipping the pillow underneath it. The whole scene very nearly made me laugh out loud, it was beyond ridiculous. I was well aware that vampires didn't find comfort in things like beds and pillows, but my nature apparently had gotten the better of me, and only now, as my vampire lay with his face buried in the feathers, did I see the humor in it.

I moved myself so that I was leaning against the wall by his head, as I had been before, but this time my lap was empty. I let my hand rest on his shaky shoulder and took him in. He was the picture of innocence. It was part of the reason that this was so heartbreaking and part of the reason that I wasn't afraid. He hadn't engaged in a single act of cruelty. Even when put in harm's way by our hands, he only sought escape. And as he lay next to me now, shaking, burying his head and his body, longing for the pain and the fear and the exhaustion to cease, I couldn't help but wonder if he would be so innocent when he was better.

I let my thoughts get ahead of me, thinking about his past, thinking about his future. Would he be a savage vampire? Maybe I would be his first victim. I smiled sadly, gazing at his shivering lips, willing him to open up to me. Could he talk? Could he hear? I wanted the answers, and I knew there was no way of getting them. I let my fingers graze his forehead, waiting for him to recoil. He didn't disappoint.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered again. "I'm _never_ going to hurt you."

I closed my eyes then, eager for sleep to take me and be my one escape from this harsh reality. It wasn't long before I found myself drifting off, images of my vampire, happy and healthy, immediately consuming my subconscious.

******

**A/N****: **Mm. There it is; had to happen, didn't want to just say 'time passes' because... I feel like some significant thoughts and actions take place in this passage of time… So I wrote this guy... And next chapter… some cleanin' up of the vamp.

And on an end note: I have 3 finals on Monday followed by a vacation that includes little internet access. That means a couple of things: I'll be able to write more, I'll be able to post less. Bear with me.

Review please, let me know how it's going over ;)


	7. The Venom

**A/N****: **So... I give you this long-ass chapter, lots of stuff in it... I spent the first day after finals on it for you, and all I ask in return is just to have a zillion reviews when I get back!

(And read the end note, please).

Thanks to jilburfm for betaing, & to babette for making sure I did okay explaining my sciencey stuff. And to EVERYONE who's reading/reviewing/favoriting.

**

The Venom

**Alice POV**

After school, I went straight home, knowing I'd have to beat Bella there by a substantial amount of time. She was well aware that stopping at her house on a daily basis was nothing short of a necessity, but I knew she would make the side-trip as quick as possible. I wasn't entirely sure what had gotten into her, but it was clear at this point that she was an unstoppable force.

I knew that Esme had left blood downstairs for him again, but I also knew at this point that he hadn't tried drinking it. So I decided that I would become proactive; enough waiting for him to take it on his own. He wasn't going to get better until he ate, and he apparently wasn't going to eat by choice.

I made it to the house quickly, opting to run home rather than drive, letting the others take care of the car. I could see as far as my getting down the steps before the vision became broken.

_The blood sits on the bottom step where Esme left it. The vampire is no longer lying, as he had been when we left this morning, but is once again huddled in his corner. He clutches the blanket tightly to his chest, his back still fully exposed. I walk down the steps slowly, trying to find the meanings behind his growls. They're not aggressive. I make it to the blood, holding my breath to prevent myself from drinking it. I inch my way closer…_

I snapped out of my daze. Every time I tried to see him, I only grew more frustrated. It had become a bit easier to watch him when Bella was there, his actions almost predictable. Despite the fact that he may not actually trust her, he didn't seem to want to hurt her. While Bella was gone, however, the visions reverted to their unclear nature.

When I made it to the basement door I hesitated briefly, taking a sharp breath and exhaling in preparation. I had a sneaking suspicion that this was going nowhere, but I wasn't used to actually having to rely on my gut. _Is this what normal people live like? _ I hated the uncertainty of the outcome. It only further motivated me to get him better.

I pulled the door open swiftly, allowing my failure of a vision to begin its course. My actions followed the premonition to a tee, as I reached down with bated breath for the cup.

I glanced back toward the crumbling heap of vampire in the corner, scowling at the ambiguity of this encounter. I took a few baby steps forward, testing the waters.

_Aggression, anger. I sit on top of his thrashing torso, waiting out his surge of energy. He screams, fighting with everything he has to get me away from him, but it's not enough. I try to get the blood into him, but he slams his head into the floor, a deafening crack resonating at the force of the impact._

"O…kay," I whispered, retreating some. His growls lost some of their intensity, his arms pulling his knees in closer. I sat on the bottom step, reconsidering my plan. Bella would be here soon. What if…

_Bella walks down the stairs, noticing the blood that was left on the steps. Her eyes dart between the cup and the vampire as she leans down and snatches it. She straightens, glancing back at the basement door, before proceeding toward him…_

…if I left it here? It was a dilemma I had faced repeatedly for the past two days, whether he could be trusted around Bella.

On the one hand, given what we knew about him, he was probably too weak to hurt her badly, no matter the case. So if I stayed near, would I be able to stop him in the small time frame I had from when he made the instant decision to when he could actually break her skin? Should I even risk Bella that way? Bella would say 'absolutely', Carlisle would say 'absolutely not'.

On the other hand, my damned gut was telling me this was right. That somehow this would work. But what if, after he fed, he happily ate Bella as a second course?

I looked down at the blood in my hands. There wasn't even a full cup of it. After a deep, thoughtful breath, I decided that it wouldn't give him enough strength. It could be considered a test run, right? To see if Bella could get him to feed. And if she could, maybe there was another way, as well.

I set the cup at my feet, retreating back up the staircase slowly, giving myself ample time to change my mind. I knew it wasn't going to happen.

**

**Bella POV**

The day had passed in a blur, much like yesterday. I was vaguely aware of my schoolwork, my friends, my family. As I left Charlie's house, I grabbed my backpack. A pop quiz tomorrow over _The Canterbury Tales _was heavily implied in class today, so I knew I'd have to squeeze in some reading time. I scrunched my face up as a drove, knowing that I was being negligent and wholly not caring about it.

I tried to relax as I drove closer to the mansion. I forced my foot to let off the gas some, my fingers to loosen their grip on the wheel. I could feel the stress taking its toll on my insides. My stomach was tight and achy, my heart beating double-time, the muscles throughout my entire body rigid and pained. I took several cleansing breaths, talking my mind down from its crazed state.

"Get a grip," I whispered to myself, rounding the bend that led to my second home.

When I finally pulled into the driveway, I ignored the urge to run to him. I fought my instincts, determined to prove that I still had willpower. It was a losing battle; I'll be the first to admit. My hands pressed roughly into the cool leather seat, shaking, waiting for my mind and body to converge again. I nodded my head, admitting defeat.

I walked into the house, noting the shift in energy at my arrival. Esme and Alice came to greet me and play hostesses, offering me drinks, dinner and dessert before giving in to what I truly wanted.

"Jeez, Bells… no time for friends anymore?" Emmett asked as I walked past him. I stopped and turned, allowing myself to smile at his lightheartedness. His face broke into a toothy grin and he cleared the distance between us, enveloping me in an Emmett-hug and forcing the air from my lungs simultaneously.

"Don't get eaten," he whispered into my ear. I could feel the smile on his lips and I hugged him back. "Crazy lady," he mumbled as he pulled away, guiding me toward the basement door. I squeezed his hand as tight as I could, looking up at him hopefully. "Couldn't even feel it," he smirked. "You'll have to do better than that when Dracula flips his shit if you want to make it out alive…"

I shrugged my shoulders dramatically before untangling our fingers and letting my knuckles crack. "I'll do my best."

With that, I opened the basement door and began once again searching the darkness for his battered form.

After locating my vampire, right where I knew he would be, I put my focus back on my movements. Tumbling down the steps wouldn't be beneficial; lest I crack my head open and effectively become his source of strength. It was when I was nearing the bottom of the staircase that I first noticed the cup. The seemingly inoffensive item was glaring at me, daring me to pick it up.

It wasn't really much of a decision. As soon as I saw it, I knew what I would do. In truth, the presence of this cup was a sign of hope. _Maybe…_

I snatched it up as I passed the last step, frustrated at the meager amount of blood the Cullens were sharing. It was a start, though. And if I could walk away from this with all of my limbs still intact and my heart still beating, maybe they would let me try again.

"Hey," I whispered as I came closer to him. His head snapped up and his blank eyes met mine for an instant, the reflexive growl following. "I'm not going to hurt you," I said, biting back a smile. Of course he knew that, and of course he would still cower. It was his body's natural reaction to _everything_. While every flinch of his body caused a sharp pain in mine, I suspected that it was no longer _me_ that he feared. He just… feared. And we could work on that.

He inhaled, letting my scent fill his lungs, his growling letting up slightly as he did. I beamed. "I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered again, for good measure.

When I was within a few yards of him, I dropped to my knees, scooting my body closer to him and setting the blood aside. I knew I still needed to be cautious, and although patience wasn't a virtue that I had an abundance of, I felt my movements slowing automatically.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, searching his face for the answer. As a result of his increased shaking, my genius deduction was that he was feeling afraid. _Perceptive, Bella. _

"You don't have to be afraid of me. You know that, right?" I brought my body closer to his, letting my hand come into contact with his. His fingers flexed a little from their rigid grip on his legs and I took the opportunity to wedge my hand underneath his, blocking his grasp.

He looked shaken and immediately pulled back, but I let my hand stay where it was, knowing he would calm momentarily. My other hand trailed up his back until it found his hairline and I ran my fingers through it lightly, not wanting to harm him.

"I missed you." I bit my lip, waiting for any response. Nothing. "I get nervous when I'm not here… like you're going to disappear while I'm gone."

His trembling was easing slowly as I rubbed his neck, and I took the opportunity to rearrange my legs so I could sit more comfortably.

"I was hoping maybe you'd eat? I know you didn't earlier but…" I trailed off, not really sure why he hadn't eaten. It didn't make sense. Of that I was positive.

I picked up the cup from beside me and took a deep breath, slowly pushing it toward him. He craned his neck away from me, his eyes clenching shut. _What?_

"C'mon," I whispered. "Please, please just try…"

I removed my hand from his leg, bringing it to his face. He abruptly began to growl, his entire body falling to the floor as he squirmed, attempting to put space between us.

I immediately set the cup down, leaning over his struggling form. I put my hand between his shoulder blades, rubbing small circles around his vertebrae. "It's okay… I'm not going to hurt you," I said, bringing my other hand to his exposed arm in an effort to stop his withdrawal. "Please, don't go. I don't want to…" I stopped, closing my eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you."

I moved so that I was closer to his head, his panic rapidly increasing. "It's okay, you're okay." He was growling and attempting to push himself from the floor, but his arms collapsed underneath him, his torso crashing back down. Like clockwork, my tears began flowing.

I swiftly repositioned myself against the wall, his head next to my legs, as it had been last night. _How could a vampire be repulsed by blood?_ I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I put it out of my mind for the moment.

I let my hand rest on his head, giving him some time to calm down a bit. He was trying to pull away again, attempting to turn his body, but it was futile. All I could think to do for him was to wait while his pain eased.

As his terror began to subside, I let my fingers start rubbing him again. I let them move through his filthy hair, over his back and his shoulders, over his neck, his exposed cheek, his ear. I traced them over every inch of him that was within my reach as I watched the horror slowly fade from his eyes. It seemed like hours before he was over the particularly fearful outburst, but eventually, his struggling eased.

I had just begun telling him about my day when I noticed his eyes fixated on the abandoned cup. He didn't look particularly afraid of it, but his body was tense and trembling.

"I think we shouldn't try that again yet…" I said, to myself more than to him. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, but I quickly became alarmingly aware of the fact that there was actually a debate going on inside of me. I knew he was afraid, but I couldn't fathom why. And I knew that feeding him would help him, right? _ If I could just get him to try…_

But I also knew that he hadn't reacted so badly to anything since the exam. As I came to a decision, the now familiar feelings of guilt, longing and heartache coursed through me.

I lifted his head slightly off of the floor and guided his shaking body toward me. When his head finally came to rest on my lap, I took a moment to push the hair out of his face, my fingertips lingering on his trembling forehead for a few extra seconds. I knew what I had to do. "I trust you," I whispered, as I raised the cup off of the floor next to me. "Please… Please try to trust me…"

I brought it to his lips, supporting the weight of his head in the crook of my arm. He looked up at me, anguish written plain as day on his face.

"Please," I whispered. "Please just try…"

He turned his head away from me, his body shaking forcefully. I attempted to steady him and hold him to me at the same time, which proved to be a difficult feat while holding a cup of blood.

"It's okay," I whispered, rubbing his neck lightly. With every passing second his shaking grew more violent and my fingers inevitably began trembling as well.

Using the crook of my arm for leverage, I was able to turn his buried head enough that I had access to his mouth and brought the cup to it quickly.

As the first drop touched his lips, I noticed a couple of things happening at once.

At the forefront of my attention was my vampire's body, curled tightly as he rolled to his side, his hands clutching his stomach. I felt him gag as I watched in horror. He had nothing inside of him, so he wasn't actually vomiting, but he was clearly going through the motions.

In the background somewhere, the basement door burst open as I heard Alice cry for me to stop. I didn't look up, I didn't comprehend what she was saying- all I heard were the heaving sounds coming from my lap and my own whispered pleas for his misery to end.

His body doubled over further in its attempt to purge everything from his system.

He lay across me on his stomach as I slid one of my arms underneath him to help support his chest, the other rubbing up and down his back softly. His body lurched as he retched again, but nothing came out.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, brushing the hair off of his forehead and letting his weight fall back onto my legs. He was shaking, his breathing heavy, as he tried to lift himself to heave again. I knew nothing would come out. I wondered how long his system would attempt to empty itself before realizing that nothing had ever entered it.

His arms gave out again, and I lightly fingered his hair. He was making whimpering noises as he composed himself, shaking and broken. I pulled the blanket over to us, enveloping his body beneath it.

"Bella, come upstairs for a minute," Alice said from the doorway. "It won't be long, and he'll be okay while you're gone… but you need to come upstairs for a minute."

"Why?" I whispered through the tears, all the while watching him come down again. It seemed like I was only hurting him. I closed my eyes, which only freed more tears.

"This isn't your fault, Bella. Carlisle will be home soon, he'll explain."

I looked down at my softly shuddering vampire, running my hands through his hair one last time. I moved from under him, replacing my body with the pillow, while I let my fingers linger on him for a few fleeting moments.

"Please don't hate me," I choked out. I knew eventually I'd mess up enough that he would, but I could only hope, for now, that I hadn't lost everything.

**

When Carlisle came home ten minutes later, I practically pounced on him. He told me to hang on, that he wanted to address everyone, and led me into the living room. I sat on the couch next to Alice and Jasper, letting myself relax with the waves of calm that were being forced upon me. I tossed a thankful glance toward Jasper, showing my gratitude in the only way I could think.

"Don't mention it," he mouthed.

Carlisle entered the living room shortly after we had all convened, a combination of relief and sadness on his face.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I was able to get a look at his venom today…" he began, dancing around the subject. He looked at Alice hopelessly and she shrugged, urging him to just say it.

He sighed. "There are traces of a synthetic inhibitor in his venom," he said. My eyes widened. _A_ _what?_

"I... I don't understand what that means..." _Surely he wouldn't leave it at that?_

"Essentially, it's a drug that makes blood to him no different than human food would be to him… or what dirt would be to you. His body is rejecting the blood because of the drug. When we eat human food… it's a show. Our bodies don't actually get any sustenance from it and we end up having to gag the food up later. Otherwise it would just remain in our system, providing no nutritional value and having nowhere to go," he explained.

"Since our bodies don't actually pass anything, the only option is to vomit what we can't metabolize."

"But he didn't drink any blood," I explained. "Only a drop touched his mouth – he didn't even swallow it. He had nothing to get rid of!"

"Yes, Alice explained on the phone. My best guess at this point is that it seems like vomiting is his body's natural reaction to the blood. I imagine, if he tried enough, or was forced enough, whatever the case may be, that he would develop an aversion to blood in general. His body may be conditioned at this point to reflexively gag when blood enters it. If he has a natural aversion to it, I suppose it's possible that he would gag when the scent is so potent? I can't be sure, as I've never seen anything like this in vampires, but maybe…?"

"Can you... fix it…?" was all that I could think to ask.

"I believe so. If I can create an agent that will counteract the inhibitor that is in him now, preventing his body from metabolizing the blood, it would… it could hypothetically render the drugs in his system inert. So, while it wouldn't eliminate the inhibitor from his system completely, it would prevent it from performing its function and allow his body to accept the blood and begin to heal. If I can't, his body _will_ eventually metabolize the drug itself… but… I'm not sure how long that could take…"

"So what do we do now?"

"I'll work on creating an antidote for it, but again, it'll take a little time. My best hope would be to have a first trial ready within a couple days…"

"How will we get him to take experimental drugs?" Jasper finally spoke.

Carlisle replied first with a shrug, then with a very not-so-subtle glance in my direction. "It's the best option right now. We have a couple of days to consider it. In the meantime, it'll only cause him discomfort to feed."

"Who would do that to him?" I asked, knowing none of us had the answer, but I couldn't help asking.

"We don't know," Alice answered, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. I nodded, defeated, thinking of what I could do to make the next few days of hell a little bit easier on him.

Suddenly, Alice's entire expression shifted. Her eyes got that evil-Alice-gleam in them, her smile inexorable. She hopped up from the couch with so much force that I automatically cowered a little, groaning internally at whatever she saw.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me up, practically bouncing with excitement. "This is a great idea, Bella!" she whispered, dragging me into the kitchen. I looked down at the floor, blushing wildly. Damn the omniscient vampires to hell.

She pulled me all the way into the kitchen before finally releasing me, gently shoving my body onto a stool. She proceeded to rummage through the cupboard until she produced two medium-sized steel bowls. I rolled my eyes but couldn't completely contain my amusement.

"Do you know what you're doing?" she asked.

I exaggerated my thinking face, tapping my fingers on my chin. "Well," I started- "while my favorite pastime _used to _be giving sponge baths, I stopped when I discovered that my real love lies in the art of Jujitsu." I quirked my eyebrow and winked. _Why would I know how to give a sponge bath?_

Alice sighed, exasperated with my apparent lack of cooperation. "Well, _I've_ never given one, either, but it seems straightforward enough…" she trailed off, her eyes glazing over. "Okay, I can't see what happens. We'll just have to make do with what we have." She grumbled semi-incoherently about my vampire's unpredictability before plastering the smile back on her face.

"Two bowls," she began, "one with clean water, one with dirty water, you with me?" I nodded, closing my eyes. "Think we should use soap? I think so. Think it should be scented?"

I shook my head, rolling my eyes and mouthing "no" with great exaggeration.

"There's nothing wrong with smelling nice," she informed. "But I think you're right, he might not appreciate lilacs in his current state. So… the big bowl... is going to have the soapy water in it. This smaller bowl… is just going to have water." She looked at me expectantly, waiting to see if I understood her so far. I nodded, still somewhat amused, but undeniably slightly embarrassed.

Alice went on to explain her version of how to give a sponge bath, carefully instructing me on how to keep the clean water clean, how to rinse him, how to avoid his wounds. I took it all in, really having no idea what I was doing but just wanting him to feel better after this afternoon. Eventually, she went upstairs to get a towel and came back with three bottles, two towels and four sponges. I picked the first soap, the first towel, and spent several minutes comparing which sponge was softest, knowing full well it made no difference to him.

I finally chose the sponge that I deemed the least abrasive while she put some water in the bowls. I put my finger in to test the warmth. I personally thought it was too cold, but Alice assured me that he wouldn't know the difference and to stop being such a _human_. So I gave in, realizing that she was right.

As we opened the basement door, I turned to her, putting my arms out in front of me. She folded the towel neatly and set it over my outstretched forearms, gently setting the bowls side by side on top of it before throwing the sponge in the soapy water. She smiled happily at me and kissed my cheek, threatening my life if I tripped on the way down. I assured her I would kill myself if I did and save her the trouble, which seemed to appease her.

"Good luck," she whispered, closing the door behind me.

**

I had managed to make it down the stairs with only a few minor mishaps, mainly resulting in a trail of soapy water down my shirt.

When I got close enough to him, I set the bowls down on the ground, positioning myself in between them. My vampire was terrified of this, and made no effort to hide his anguish. He tried to bring himself up from his prone position and I let him, wanting him to be as comfortable as possible.

"It's just water," I said, hoping to lessen his terror. "I was thinking maybe I could get you cleaned up?"

As he finally pulled himself up, his eyes darted around the room, searching for an escape. I worried that he was going to resent his corner for trapping him, so I moved back a bit, letting him see that he could get away if he wanted to.

"No one here wants to hurt you," I said beseechingly. "I know someone hurt you, but that's over. Please. I need you to try to trust me."

Neither his growling nor trembling lessened, so I moved in closer, with a new purpose. I had to _show_ him I wasn't going to hurt him. He had to _feel_ it. Words were seemingly ineffective, and I needed him to know. So I closed the gap between us and grabbed the sponge, quickly bringing it to his back. _This will work, _I told myself, not wanting to lose the small amount of confidence I was hanging onto.

When the sponge contacted his back he lurched away, terror rolling off of him in waves. I needed him to calm down enough to let me start. I could only hope that he would realize it wasn't painful once I started.

He was definitely panicking. I dropped the sponge back into the bowl and turned back to him, rubbing his neck softly, willing his eyes to meet mine. He was gasping and shuddering, his arms wrapped around his torso, clutching his sides defensively.

"Jasper," I called softly. Like clockwork, the door opened and Jasper appeared. At first, my vampire's terror increased. He growled loudly and aggressively as his body curled further around itself. I kept my hand in place, letting it roam into his hair a bit. "It's okay, it's just Jasper," I whispered, feeling completely calm despite my surroundings.

I tried to pry his hand open and, after some coercion, he gave in. I let my fingers tangle with his, closing his hand back around mine. I could hear his growls letting up some, so I continued to rub his neck. The muscles seemed to involuntarily loosen a bit, which only encouraged my movements.

"We won't hurt you," I promised softly, reaching back for the sponge. When it made contact this time, he only flinched. His eyes were clamped shut and his fingers tightened around mine. I grasped his tighter in response. I started at his neck, squeezing a little bit of water out of the sponge and rubbing the skin there softly.

"It's not so bad, is it?" I finally spoke when it became clear that he wouldn't look at me. "It _has _to feel at least a little nice to get cleaned up some?"

I heard the door close behind me, but my vampire's growling didn't increase. It remained the soft rumbling that I was used to, although he continued shaking. A very small part of me blamed Alice for making the water too cold.

I brought the sponge to his hair, deciding it needed the most work. I wanted to use my fingers to help loosen the debris and dirt, but I couldn't bring myself to untangle our hands. When I decided it needed to be done, I began to withdraw my hand, but the pressure of his increased and I immediately changed my mind. So I kept rubbing the sponge through his hair, scrubbing with more vigor, working to dislodge the dirt that had caked into his roots. When I was finally somewhat satisfied and completely aware that I couldn't do any better with what I had, I moved to his back.

I tried to avoid as many of the gashes as possible but would occasionally let the sponge sweep over one. He would only cringe away slightly before returning to typical shaking.

I worked the sponge over every visible inch of his body, pouring my full attention into getting him clean. Since he was still hiding in the corner, only half of his body was accessible… so I got that half as clean as I could before stopping to regroup.

Slowly, I pried his body from the corner, turning him the best that I could so that I could access his other half. After some struggle, his body complied and I was able to reposition him to face the opposite direction. I gave his right half the same treatment that his left half had received. I had to pull his arms away from him to clean the lengths of them, but he seemed somewhat okay with it. His growling never completely stopped and his trembling had barely lessened, but he wasn't putting up much of a fight.

When all of his limbs and his back were cleaned, I had a new issue to face.

"Will you… let me clean off your chest a little?" I asked, knowing there would be no answer but not exactly caring. "I promise I'll take care of you."

I murmured words of encouragement to him, knowing they would be lost. Several minutes later, I had him repositioned so that I could generally reach his torso, although it still wasn't easy. I noticed the long cut down the center of his chest and made a point to carefully avoid it.

I rubbed the sponge over his collarbone and down his front, coming to rest at his navel. It was at that point that his nudity first became an issue. Should I? I internally scolded myself for even caring, but honestly, I had no experience in this department. While this was anything but sexual, I wasn't sure if I could handle… _touching_… him. I let the sponge linger on his lower stomach, contemplating.

It wasn't a long battle. Quickly, so I wouldn't lose my nerve, I averted my eyes modestly while brushing the sponge hastily over his groin. I had set out to clean him, and that was all I was doing. I tried to avoid actual contact with his skin there, not sure that I'd be able to keep my confidence if I were to touch him, and felt a breath of relief as I moved on to his inner thighs.

When the dirt, for the most part, was off of his body, I reached behind me and grabbed the towel that I had left there earlier. As I rubbed the moisture from his body, I began explaining what Carlisle found in the lab. I didn't really understand it myself, but I wanted him to know that we were trying. His body was slowly relaxing under the towel, knowing that the worst was over, as I apologized for the thousandth time about making him drink the blood.

"Carlisle said he can fix it, though. You just need to give him a few days. He'll fix it," I whispered, unsure of who I was trying to convince more. I finished drying him and wrapped the towel over his shoulders, pulling him tightly to me, my fingers running through his damp hair as his growling finally ceased.

**

**A/N**: So… if there's any confusion on what the venom turned up and you guys want my super crash course on synthetic inhibitors mixed with vampire physiology, I implore you, PM me! I've spent a rather ridiculous amount of time making sure all the puzzle pieces fit, I can bring in things from twilight, I can bring in things from science, and I *think* I can back up everything I wrote... So PM if there's confusion, I'm happy to do my best to clear it up.

And I'm sorry for baby steps; the plot is slowly but surely moving forward.

Review!


	8. The Trial

**A/N**: Twilight & characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Undying thank you to babette for making sure I don't fail too hard with the science & to jilburfm for betaing!

I honestly try to respond to as many reviews as possible. I PROMISE you I read & love EACH and every one! So keep 'em coming!

(By the way - Nina reviewed this story for the Lazy yet Discerning Ficster! Check it out! **discerningficster(dot)blogspot(dot)com**)!

******

The Trial

**Bella POV**

"It's ready."

I slammed the phone back on the receiver, tossing an apologetic glance toward Charlie as I bolted to the door. "I have to go, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow," I tried to avoid the confrontation that was sure to follow by making an overly hasty departure, but was stopped by my father's body cutting through my path.

"I haven't seen you all week, Isabella. What's so important that can't wait for an hour?"

I could feel my fingers shaking as I racked my brain for a plausible excuse. I hated lying, and frankly, I wasn't ever very good at it. "I'm sorry," I began. "That was Alice – I told you we were planning on spending the day shopping and then having a girl night, didn't I?"

Charlie looked me up and down slowly. I had spent yesterday night at home, on the Cullen's request, to "give myself a break" and give my father some peace of mind. I wasn't staying away two nights in a row, though, so Alice fabricated a slumber party to free me. I was certain I had already explained this to Charlie.

"But we just started breakfast…" He looked resigned. I could see his determination weakening by the second. "I've hardly seen you all week."

"I know, Dad." I was buttering him up, I'll admit. He loved when I called him 'dad'. "But Esme was hoping for an early start on the shopping trip so we wouldn't have to be out too late. Can I get a rain check on the bacon? Please?"

He shrugged his shoulders, giving in. "I guess, Bella. Be careful tonight, don't give the Cullens any trouble, okay?"

I forced a smile, leaning in to kiss his cheek. My excessively gracious behavior was not unnoticed by my usually-distant father. "Bye Dad, love you."

He nodded, mumbling "love you, too," before I was completely out of earshot.

I rushed to my truck, eager to be back at the mansion.

On the road, I was able to clear my head a bit and really consider the implications of this afternoon's agenda.

Carlisle had a trial antidote ready. Carlisle wanted to try to heal my vampire. I couldn't contain my excitement at the prospect of finally getting some blood into him.

For the past three days I had thought about nothing else. I knew I was putting too much faith in science and doctors and labs, but I couldn't help but wonder if what Carlisle had come up with would work. I tried, as hard as I possibly could, to convince myself that it wouldn't. The Cullens were explaining this at any and every possible opportunity. They could all see my budding hope, the never-ending 'what ifs' that shone through my demeanor. And each and every one of them tried to persuade me not to put much stock in this first attempt.

And truthfully, even if it didn't work, it was progress. It was a step in the right direction, and these steps had been few and far between over the past few days.

After the night Carlisle explained what was preventing the vampire from eating, there was a palpable shift in the atmosphere. The mood became impassive, and I began biding time until Carlisle was able to produce some form of a cure.

I spent that night with my vampire, and the following two nights, as well, but we didn't progress much during that time. He would allow me to hold him, but I didn't push my luck. I slept in the basement with him, curled up against the wall with his head in my lap, merely trying to bring some light into his existence.

The growling only resurfaced during initial approaches and on the two instances that one of the others entered the basement. With the ray of hope that we had been provided that night, we made the mutual decision that, if possible, the others would keep their distance. That had proven impossible, though, and it was on those occasions that the insurmountable fear resurfaced.

On Wednesday night, I read to him. After he was cleaned and mostly dry, I allowed my mind to wander over my upcoming school work. I had read Chaucer before, but was in dire need of a refresher, so I brought down my copy of _The Canterbury Tales_ and began losing myself in the verse. My vampire's head rest in my lap as I nonchalantly ran my fingers through his still-moist hair, his eyes unfocused but gazing at the pages before us. So I decided to read to him. When I was sick I enjoyed reading, and when I was unable to read as a child I enjoyed being read to. So once again, my irrationality won me over, and I began explaining the story, its history, and everything else I would need to know for my quiz. Then I flipped back to the beginning and began reading.

Thursday, after school, I had come straight over. The pretext of the presentation was still in full force, and, with said presentation being on Friday, I explained to Charlie that we needed the extra time to work on it. The night passed fairly uneventfully; my vampire remained in his barely-conscious state, I sat with him and offered what little comfort I could. Carlisle had been scarce, spending all of his time in the lab, in an effort to produce the antidote that would lead to my vampire's salvation. He would check in periodically, but mostly he kept his distance. I had fallen asleep downstairs again.

Yesterday was the worst. The four full days of absolute misery that I had witnessed first hand made me antsy. I needed Carlisle to come up with something, and I needed him to work more quickly than seemingly possible. My irritation with the speed at which things were being accomplished extended to the entire Cullen family, and it was for this reason that I was forced to sleep at home last night. I put up more of a fight than I knew I was capable of producing, but in the end, I was no match for the force of six vampires ganging up on me. They assured me that it would do both my mind and body some good to sleep in my own bed, or in any bed for that matter. Alice promised that I could spend the remainder of the weekend with them. I reluctantly obliged on the stipulation that I be contacted if anything whatsoever were to change in my absence.

I stayed as late as my body would allow, finally dragging myself up the stairs at midnight. Alice drove me home, claiming that I wasn't cut-out for driving. Begrudgingly, I took shotgun and had fallen asleep on the way home.

I awoke this morning feeling refreshed after pleasant dreams of my vampire. My dreams always made reality more bearable, as I was finally able to see the smile that I so longed for. They had, in their own right, given me some hope, and they didn't fail to restore any optimism that was lost during the days.

I rounded the bend to the mansion, my anticipation growing by the second. When I pulled into the driveway I was immediately met by a very stoic-looking Carlisle.

"Bella," he murmured, nodding his head infinitesimally in my direction. "How was your night?"

I couldn't hide the smile that crept into my features, but Carlisle's sullen demeanor certainly wasn't corresponding with my mood.

"Lonely," I responded, biting my bottom lip.

Carlisle chuckled softly, sighing audibly at my unexpected answer.

"We need to talk about a couple of things before we try this," he began. I nodded, expecting as much. "If this were to work – well, that would be incredibly lucky, Bella. I know the others have explained this to you, but truthfully, the likelihood of this being the answer is slim at best."

I nodded, acknowledging my comprehension.

"Does Alice see it working?" I asked.

"No. What Alice sees is… she doesn't see him taking the drug at all. And she sees that he remains unfed this evening. I believe that it's because his natural decision would be to refuse the antidote, but I can't be positive. The best way to find out is to test it, but she sees him putting up a good fight. And apparently, in her vision, he wins that fight. So we need to make sure that doesn't happen… which is where you come in."

"What can I do?"

"You're the only one he even remotely trusts, Bella. I'm hoping that you can coax him into taking it. If not, we can try to force him to take it –"

Visions of them holding my vampire on that table while forcing chemicals into his system immediately invaded my thoughts, bringing shudders up my spine. "That's not an option," I said flatly.

He smiled knowingly, nodding his head again. "I figured it would be like that. Then really our only hope is for you to encourage him to take it, but I don't imagine he'll make it easy on you. And even if he does, there's another problem we need to address before you head down there."

_Would the problems never cease? _ "What is it?"

"If I'm right… about why he gagged at the smell of blood, then his aversion is a result of conditioning – meaning the problem isn't going to go away even if the antidote works. His body reacts involuntarily at the scent or taste of blood, which means that –"

"— that even if your cure works, he won't want to drink," I finished. _Of course_.

"Right. Which is a long-term issue we can deal with later, but the problem right now is getting him to try blood – to see if the antidote is functioning properly."

I took a deep, thoughtful breath, while I reflected on how the next few hours would play out. I hadn't really considered how to get him to drink the blood. I thought that maybe we would be able to get him to take the drug itself, but to try the blood afterward? It seemed like that would be the greater challenge of the two, and if the antidote didn't work, as it presumably wouldn't, how would we get him to take it again? And if the second trial didn't work, then what?

I started panicking then, realizing that there was no way to win in this situation. I would do everything in my power to make sure that he didn't end up strapped to a table with a tube down his throat, but if he wouldn't take the drugs willingly, would it be in my power to stop that? I felt a tear fall down my cheek at the image, and a fresh bout of determination to make the events of today go as planned.

"What can I do?" I asked again.

Carlisle sighed grimly. "I think you should just focus on getting him to take the antidote first. We'll have a couple hours to wait while the drug reacts with the inhibitor in his system. We'll try to figure something out during that time."

**

I stood in the living room, surrounded by concerned vampires, trying to focus my whole attention on what Carlisle was telling me.

"…it's dissolved in alcohol, which I imagine he'll eventually have to gag, but it's a relatively small amount, so it shouldn't be uncomfortable."

I kept nodding, my attention torn between my need to understand the instructions and my need to check on my vampire. I still hadn't seen him since last night and it was becoming increasingly important that I make sure he was still okay.

"What this drug will do, in essence, is counteract the drug that is already in his system. What he has in him now is preventing his stomach from absorbing blood, and so, if all goes well, the interaction between this compound and what's already inside of him will effectively allow his stomach to begin metabolizing blood again."

Science had never been my strong suit, so I couldn't entirely understand the processes that were being explained, but I trusted Carlisle to know what he was doing. So I nodded again.

He chuckled, handing me the vial.

I took it and turned, heading straight for the door. "Bella," Carlisle called after me. I turned my head in acknowledgment. "Good luck. And please, don't give up if this doesn't work."

I gave him a slight smile and closed the distance to the door.

Over the past few days I had perfected this journey. It wasn't scary or ominous anymore. That first glance at my vampire never failed to break my heart, but I was becoming more accustomed to how he would react, at least. He would growl for a minute after I reached the bottom step, but as soon as he would allow himself to inhale, the growling would stop.

This trip was no exception.

I forced myself to smile when his form came into focus, his blanket wrapped loosely around his back, as I had left it the previous night. His trembling was soft, barely visible, and lessened when I spoke. His empty eyes reflexively met mine, his cheek resting on his knees.

When I reached him, I set the little vial on the ground next to me, not wanting to push things too quickly.

"How are you?" I asked, stroking his cheek in the process. I was used to his reflexive flinch and no longer allowed it to deter me. My fingers lingered there, waiting out his brief anxiety attack. His eyes finally closed, his unconscious sign of encouragement, and I brushed his cheek and jaw gently.

"Carlisle was able to create some sort of antidote for the drugs that are in you," I said, settling myself in front of his curled body. My hand automatically found his forearm, and I began tracing the veins there, waiting for it to loosen up.

"He says it probably won't work… but that we need to try it out to see…"

His hand finally relaxed enough for me to slip mine underneath it, squeezing his fingers tightly in the process. He didn't squeeze back, but he didn't fight me. These baby steps were becoming more apparent during our time together, and with each small victory I was further persuaded that this was _right_.

I smiled and ran my other hand through his hair, still not quite used to the lack of tangles and dirt that had been a constant reminder of his past.

The familiar feeling at the pit of my stomach was steadily resurfacing with every passing second, but still, I had no idea where to start. No matter what, this experience wasn't going to be enjoyable for either of us; it was just a matter of when to begin. Did I want to get it over with now or did I want some time with him before I compromised his faith in me? _Again_.

"We just want to help you," I said. "This drug… that I have to ask you to take… I'm not sure if it'll feel good. And I'm not sure if it'll even help anything. But you have to try it… Everything… Everything we're doing is just to help you." I sighed then, searching those familiar blank eyes for any sign of recognition and knowing that I would come up empty.

"Can you understand me?" I asked. I'd asked this question a million times in passing, but never did I hope for an answer more than I hoped for one now. "I need to know… if you can understand me."

Our eyes continued their meaningless conversation, his dark and blank and mine pleading. He had no idea what I was saying. He couldn't understand me. It made each look and touch so much more important. If he couldn't understand that we only wanted to help him, then we were no better than _them_ in his eyes. Would he even be able to find a difference if it came to force feeding him drugs and blood? Would he ever be able to forgive me for that?

I was acutely aware of the fact that any one of these actions could be the end. I was fairly confident that I would make it out alive, but I couldn't imagine my life ever returning to how it had been before I had met him. How would I go on, not knowing what became of him?

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts and allowing myself to come back to reality. _This needs to be done_. It was the undeniable truth. I thought back to the night Carlisle wanted to examine him. I had the same dilemma that night and, in that scenario, I let what I knew to be right win. This had to be no different.

I took another deep breath, begging him to cooperate, and picked up the vial. I allowed myself a moment to hope. To hope that this drug would work. To hope that he would be able to overcome his aversion to blood. To hope that feeding would heal him. To hope that he'd be a part of my life tomorrow. To hope that he wouldn't want to eat me. But above all, to hope that, when this drug failed, he would forgive me.

His disposition told me what his voice couldn't- that he had no idea what I was about to do.

I moved to lean against the wall behind him, pulling his hand with me, guiding his body to rest in my lap. I had held him like this countless times over the past week and he was mostly okay with it by now. He didn't even bother growling at the change anymore, instead he silently complied, his shaking only slightly increasing as his head came to rest on me.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the calm before the storm. I let my mind wander over how badly this would go, if he would run, if he would allow himself to scream, if he'd attack me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into the air above his head, grazing his neck and exposed shoulder. I pulled the blanket up and wrapped it around him, hoping it would offer him some comfort.

I reached beside me and attempted to discreetly grasp the vial, pulling the stopper from the top and discarding it.

At the sound of the vial opening, my vampire's eyes widened in alarm. I saw his jaw begin shuddering and I knew I had to act more quickly. The longer I allowed the fear to build inside of him the worse his reaction would be.

"It's okay," I said, determined to complete my task.

I turned his head toward me, his body following automatically, and I reached for his hand. "We can't… we can't help you unless you let us." I stared at his eyes, begging him to let us. His trembling was growing violent and I knew that I only had a small window in which to act, so I brought the vial up to his mouth.

As I coaxed his taut lips open with my free hand, I could've sworn that I saw his head shake infinitesimally. I'm sure it was my imagination, but I couldn't help but wonder if he had just made an honest attempt to actually communicate with me.

I searched his eyes, looking for some sign that this was in fact the case, but all that was reflected in them was the sheer terror that he was surely experiencing. "It'll be okay," I repeated, an effort to convince us both. I could see the war going on inside of his head as I brought the little vial closer to his lips, tilting his head up so that gravity would assist me. I poured the contents into his mouth, clamping my hand over it to prevent him from releasing the drugs. It would be so easy for him to bite me now, my flesh just centimeters from his venom-coated teeth.

His body began fighting beneath the blanket, his panic-stricken eyes burning into mine, begging me to release him, but I mustered all of my strength to hold him as steady as possible.

"Please," I whispered, pleading. "Please swallow it."

His eyes never left mine as his body calmed down, resigned to the fact that he was cornered. I hated cornering him. I was now his captor, he my prisoner, and he had no way of escape. As we both came to realize this, my vampire broke my gaze, turning his head away from me and swallowing.

I let out a shaky breath, thankful and sorry at the same time, and tried to grab his attention once more. I let our fingers tangle together once more, and this time, he grasped them tightly.

His body shook and he refused to let our eyes meet, but he wasn't trying to escape my hold. We were both breathing heavily, both unsettled by the events but neither of us willing to break our trembling fingers from the other. I placed my other hand on top of our fists, my vain effort at reassurance, as I waited for him to calm. It took upwards of an hour, but eventually his shaking eased and he allowed himself to relax into my lap.

I knew it wasn't over yet, but at least it was a start. I couldn't imagine forcing him to drink blood after that, as it would surely be worse, so I pushed those images out of my head for the moment. I wanted to savor what time we had before the next daunting task presented itself. So I broke our grasp temporarily and laid myself down behind him, bringing the pillow under his head and resting mine on my hand. I draped my other arm protectively around his shoulder and pulled myself closer to his back as his body curled against mine.

**

**Alice POV**

"We'll bring Bella upstairs for a bit and force feed him," Carlisle said decisively.

We had been discussing how to get blood into his system for the past hour or so, and we were all basically in agreement; there were no options.

"With the way his aversion to blood works," Carlisle began, "the only way I can think to override the reflexive gagging is to bypass his senses altogether. It won't be pretty, but I can't see another way of even getting blood into his stomach…"

With the decision made, a very distinct future cleared up. One in which blood is forced into him. One in which blood is vomited. One in which his black eyes remain black, and his disposition is back to square one, except now, as Bella tries to approach him, his growling takes on a tone of aggression.

"It's not going to work," I said grumpily, looking as far away as his future would allow. As I said it, the future faded.

"Should we try to feed him just in case?"

"No," I answered. "It's futile. It doesn't work."

Carlisle nodded his head, mumbling his doctor jargon that no one could understand.

"Laymen's terms, Carlisle," Emmett said, frustrated with our lack of comprehension.

"I was afraid it wouldn't work. The sample I got last week was from his mouth, just traces of the drug in it, indicating that it was administered orally. What I created was a chemical that would bond with what's inside of him now, preventing it from re-bonding with the cells in his stomach," he began. I raised my eyebrows, waiting.

"I could see in the lab that the two drugs would interact properly, but I think that's actually the second half of the problem. Right now the inhibitor is bonded with his stomach cells. What I'll need to do _first _is find a way to break those bonds; then what we administered today will prevent the inhibitor from re-bonding to the cells in his stomach in the future. That'll allow his stomach to absorb blood once again.

I'll need a sample from inside of his stomach to bring into the lab, but I think I'll be able to use the traces found in the alcohol that he no doubt will gag later on…" Carlisle continued his scientific explanation, but I tuned him out, instead checking to see how the vampire was coping.

I smiled inwardly at the image of him and Bella downstairs, her arms wrapped loosely around him.

**

**A/N**: You guys still with me on the science? I swear if you're not, this is /not/ going to be a major plotline. So just TRY to bear with me and PM any specific questions. P.S. Alice, Emmett and Bella have no effing clue, either... so you're not alone!

And as always, review so I know you're still with me! :D


	9. The Antidote

**A/N****: **Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight & Co. I just screwed with her vamp to my liking.

Ridiculously gushy 'thank you's to Angstgoddess003, LillieCullen & everyone else who is pimping this out all stealthy and without my awareness!

And to OCD for pinch betaing to ensure a speedy delivery. And to Jilburfm for betaing even though she's on vacation! Amazing :D

And to everyone who clicks/favorites/reviews! Still trying to respond to all, I think I get to the grand majority of them. But I love each and every one. So don't stop!

The Antidote

**Bella POV **

******

I hated square one. It was an ugly and frustrating place to meander but I knew that patience was crucial.

My evening had become nothing more than a waiting game. We lay on the floor together for hours, waiting for the next step. When Alice came down to tell me that the next step had been modified, we waited for the new instructions. When I learned that, rather than trying to feed him, Carlisle needed the alcohol from inside of his stomach to bring back to the lab, the next waiting game commenced.

I wasn't sure how uncomfortable having such a miniscule amount in his stomach was, but I couldn't imagine that it would necessitate a purge. In theory, it should have been easy enough. We all knew that _eventually_ he would need to cleanse his system. But in reality, it was such an inconsequential quantity that I just couldn't see him bothering to vomit.

I moved my hand to hover over his waist and stomach, my fingers grazing whatever undamaged skin I could find. He wrapped himself up tightly, a sign of his obvious discomfort, but allowed me to continue.

I leaned on my elbow, elevated just enough so that I could peek at his expression as he stared blankly into the dark basement. He didn't seem to blink nor move, but inhaled deeply in regular intervals. I tried to time my breathing to his but eventually my lungs demanded more.

I was quickly growing restless, thoroughly unsure of how to proceed but knowing that we were getting nowhere in the meantime.

As if on cue, my vampire began growling and the basement door crept open.

"Bella?" Alice peeked her head in, wary of moving too quickly or aggressively.

I moved to sit up, evoking a growl filled with warning and panic. "It's alright," I whispered, straightening my body and angling myself toward Alice. She made her way down the staircase before sitting on the bottom step and pulling her knees tightly to her chest. My vampire pushed his body closer to me, closer to his corner, keeping his eyes trained on her all the while. Once I was sufficiently pinned and more than mildly uncomfortable, I untangled our limbs and un-sandwiched myself, carefully sidestepping the trembling body and moved toward the steps.

As I reached Alice, she smiled broadly, patting the wood next to her. I stretched for a few more minutes before accepting her invitation, curling my frame against the wall opposite where she sat.

"So…" I began, "any idea how to get the venom sample?" I smiled slightly, my vain effort to lose some of the stress that was weighing me down.

"We just need to wait a while," she explained. "His natural instinct is to expel the alcohol, the only reason he hasn't so far is because he's fighting it. Soon, though," she finished, stealing a glance at him before returning her attention to me.

We sat on the steps for a while longer, making small talk and discussing schoolwork. I wanted nothing more than to go back to him, but I wasn't entirely unhappy for the break. That is, until my stomach growled.

I groaned, knowing that with Alice down here with me, I'd not be able escape my human needs.

"Bella," she chided, raising an eyebrow and half-smiling. "Lunchtime for the human?"

I crossed my arms in obstinate refusal, letting my head fall back against the wall.

"Come, on." She nodded her head toward the door as she rose, extending her hand to me. "You've got all evening to be down here, starving yourself isn't going to help him."

With a sigh, I took her hand and pulled myself up. As we walked up the stairs, the growling softened, audibly ceasing as the door closed behind us.

**

We sat at the sparsely populated diner waiting for my food, my knees bouncing rapidly. The service was taking _forever_, and all I really wanted was to be with him.

I felt Alice's cool, hard hand steadying my leg beneath the table and smiled, apologizing quickly for my lack of control.

"He's really done a number on you, eh?" Emmett asked, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"Shut up," I grumbled, knowing that this conversation couldn't be headed anywhere good.

"I don't think I get it though, Bella, seriously… Is it the hair? Or do you just like 'em skinny?"

I coughed on my soda, not sure whether to feel angry or guilty or sad. I hadn't really allowed myself to think about why I was so drawn to him, but it couldn't be something like that, could it? I knew he would be beautiful when he was healthy. I smiled against my will at the image, earning myself a hearty chuckle from Emmett.

"Stop it, Em," Alice interjected on my behalf. "Leave her alone."

When my food arrived, I busied myself with it to avoid further speculation on the topic of my vampire and me. Alice and Emmett began a discussion about the last town they lived in, so I let my mind wander briefly. But, like clockwork, the conversation quickly came back to_ him_.

"…what do you think happened to him?" I heard Emmett ask, my interest in their conversation quickly growing. My head snapped up, eager to hear their theories.

"I don't really know," Alice answered pensively. "All we really have to go on is that wristband, and so far nothing has turned up."

"Have you been trying to turn something up, Alice?" I began probing, fully unaware until this point that anything had been done at all.

"Well," she began, "Rose and I have been _trying_. But like I said, it's pretty vague. We called around a bit, a few friends in the South and a couple in Europe, but everyone's as perplexed as we are."

I nodded, taking another bite and mulling over this new information. "What do you mean by 'calling around'?" I finally asked.

Emmett shot a look toward Alice, clearly in warning, but I ignored it. As did she.

"Rose and I have been contacting others… you know…" She rocked her upper body, making sure I was on the same page as her. We tried to avoid openly talking about the existence of mythical creatures in public, so the word "vampire" was essentially outlawed if anyone was within a mile radius. I nodded my head, indicating that I knew what she was saying, so she continued. "Well, we have some friends and acquaintances around the world, but we're sort of trying to only contact the people we think we can trust --"

Emmett cleared his throat loudly and when I turned to him, I saw him slashing his finger across his throat. _Hmm_.

"Emmett? What're you doing?"

"Nothing, Bella!" He grinned widely, knowing he was caught and not caring in the least. I'd have to get it from Alice.

"Alice?"

She looked back to Emmett, trying to convey something without words. I rolled my eyes and grunted, turning my attention back to my food while they had their silent conversation. Or, too quietly for my ears, at least. After several minutes of hushed arguing, Alice spoke up.

"We're a little worried about letting the word get too far, Bella," she said, raising her finger to keep me from interrupting. "There's this group of… royalty, if you will…" She was dancing around the subject; Alice was usually far more articulate than this.

"Are you saying you think they're the ones that did this?"

"Shh," she said, waving her finger furiously through the air to make her point. I pushed another spoonful of ravioli into my mouth, showcasing my effort to behave. "No, I don't think they're responsible. They don't really have a motive, and even if they did, it'd be almost impossible for him to make it all the way to Forks in his current condition. It's more like…"

"Like we don't really like to involve them in our affairs in general," Emmett cut in, his impatience clearly on the same level as mine. "They basically _think _they can control everything, and they have the hugest sticks up their asses that I've ever seen. It's impressive, really…"

"So," Alice said, wanting to tell the story, "if they were to get involved, everything would be in their court. They really could do anything they wanted to us, or to…" she trailed off, knowing that I'd be able to piece it together.

"Or to your boyfriend," Emmett finished. Alice practically growled at him, but I didn't need the words to know what she was going for. We'd want to keep this information out of their hands at all costs, I surmised.

"So, we're trying to get information but at the same time trying to keep his existence hushed," Alice said. "Even if the Volturi didn't care, I imagine whoever did this is still out there… and possibly wants him back –"

Emmett kicked her underneath the table, but it was way beyond too late. _Of course they would want him back_. My breathing was picking up and I could feel my eyes tearing, realizing the real danger in this entire situation didn't lie in my vampire, but in his captors.

"It's okay, Bella," Emmett said, laying his hand on my arm. "Alice doesn't see anyone coming for him, he'll be fine…" His effort at reassurance was a failed attempt. Alice's visions were far from perfect, all it would take is one of their 'friends' _deciding_ to contact one of _their _'friends' for the future to change completely.

"They'll find him," I whispered to myself, knowing it was true. Someone went through a great deal of trouble keeping my vampire sick, and I knew in my heart that they wouldn't lose him so easily. _Neither would I_, I allowed, trying to convince myself that I'd have any say in the matter.

"And we'll protect him," Emmett answered, squeezing my forearm and trying to comfort me.

"Plus, Carlisle will have the cure soon," Alice added, resting her hand on mine from across the table, "and once he eats, I don't see why he wouldn't regain his strength. It'll be alright."

"I told you to leave it alone," I heard Emmett grumble, but I was barely paying attention.

I spent the rest of the lunch worrying. I needed to get back there. What if they came for him now, with half of the family so far away from the house? I only found comfort in the fact that Alice _should_ see that, and she didn't. Nonetheless, I finished my meal quickly, knowing that my vampire could be taken from me at any time.

**

When we got back to the house, Carlisle told us the vampire had vomited the alcohol in our absence. No one had gone downstairs to get what we needed for the lab, so as I passed through the living room, Carlisle handed me a cotton swab and a little plastic cup, instructing me to swab the concrete where my vampire had gagged and put the whole thing in the cup.

I got downstairs and went straight for our corner, opting to leave the light on so that I could find what I was looking for. There was a small wet spot that was only mildly repulsive, so I quickly got the sample and headed back upstairs. While I wanted nothing more than to stay with _him, _I knew the sooner the cup was in Carlisle's hands the sooner he would be back at the lab, and hopefully, the sooner my vampire would be strong again.

After I had completed my task, I headed back down, eager to hold him and offer what comfort I could. The new reality I faced made every moment with him all the more valuable. The concerns that constantly plagued my mind were growing instead of easing. Now, not only did I fear losing his trust, but I realized that even if I kept it, I could lose him. _They could take him_, and I'd be helpless against them. If they were human, I think the Cullens would be enough to protect us. But if they were vampires? If it was that royal group? Even Alice admitted being helpless against them. Or, if, as Alice and Emmett had speculated, it was some other group, we could be completely blindsided.

I tried to let myself relax some as I approached him, not wanting my anxiety to heighten his. I quickly came to his side, letting his fear ease before pulling him to me. I knew he was shaking and afraid still, but I was too. I felt my body tremble with his, my tears spilling where his couldn't. I grabbed the blanket and encircled him in it, waiting for him to calm. I knew he would eventually. And I knew it was a freedom that I was now immune to.

**

The rest of the weekend was spent in this manner.

I was more attuned to him than ever now, my body shadowed every flinch of his. Each time the basement door opened, I prepared myself for the end. I was now living his fear, constantly anxious and simply biding my time until someone came to hurt him, to hurt us.

I mostly lay with him, both of us on our sides, in the same precarious position as we had on Friday, but now we faced our corner, my body reinforcing his shell. Neither of us could see the door, but I knew if anything was to come, we would both know. The blanket covered us and I kept my head resting on my arm, ignoring the throbbing pain in my neck and shoulders. Too soon, someone would force us apart. My body could rest then; for now, I wanted to watch him, to touch him.

I had only left the basement to eat, once on Saturday night and twice on Sunday. I didn't read to him or even talk to him, really. I just lay there, watching him, touching him, being close to him. It was enough to keep our collective demons at bay, but I knew it was quickly drawing to an end.

When Alice had come down Sunday evening to bring me home, I wasn't exactly surprised. Charlie called a few times so I knew he was worried. She convinced me to go home and eat dinner with him, then threatened me if I tried to come back here.

I left the mansion bawling, wishing for more time that I knew I didn't have. _They would keep him safe_. They all assured me of this. I wasn't convinced, but as it turns out, my temper tantrums are futile against this family.

I got home and ate with Charlie in silence, grumpy and groggy and sore, not hungry and not talkative. When he released me to my own personal hell two hours later, I showered away the weekend's filth and climbed into bed. I fell asleep quickly, my body betraying me.

Monday came and went in a similar fashion. Alice wasn't in school, but called me to tell me everything was fine. It was sunny so they were staying at home. I was elated by this news, the more vampires in the house, the more protection he had.

Somehow, I made it through the day without completely losing my sanity. I sped home and cooked dinner for Charlie, putting it in the fridge and leaving him a note explaining my absence once more. As I wrote it, I realized that eventually this would be a problem. He was already growing wary of the fact that I was constantly gone, but to his credit, he had given me surprisingly little hell about it.

I put it on the ever growing list of 'things to deal with later.' Things this mundane were not my concern at the moment. I had bigger fish to fry.

I spent that evening with my vampire again, delving further into all things Chaucer for class. Letting my grades slip now would only further the dilemma, so I subjected my vampire to the verse once more. He didn't seem to mind, but after a few hours of reading, I set the book aside and lay down. This had become my favorite part of our routine, as it made me feel like there was actually some trust built between us.

My hands would absently graze his face and his eyes would close in a mixture of comfort and nervousness. Eventually, though, comfort seemed to win out. And in the instant in which that battle was over, I felt like we could get through anything.

Always, though, I would return to the reality in which we could do nothing. Nothing but lay here, nothing but offer one another solace for a fleeting moment.

**

It was in this mindset that I arrived at the Cullens' on Tuesday evening. In retrospect, it shouldn't have surprised me that the second trial was ready, but when I walked into the living room to find a wide array of emotions on their faces, the first thing I allowed myself to feel was panic.

I took in each different vampire, finally settling on Carlisle who looked… _hopeful. _I didn't want to set myself up for another disappointment, but I hadn't seen Carlisle since Saturday night. After I had given him the regurgitated alcohol, he disappeared.

This had to mean something _real_. He had to have the antidote ready.

His smile was inviting as I gaped at him, my panic suddenly overcome with hope and fear and excitement. If this worked, maybe there was _hope_ after all. If my vampire was strong, surely his enemies would struggle to bring him down. I knew I needed to stop this line of thought before it got out of hand, so I forced myself to come back to the moment.

"Bella," Carlisle greeted me warmly as Alice made her way over. She squeezed my hand in hopeful reassurance, practically bouncing in anticipation.

"Carlisle has the antidote ready!" she screeched, her smile impossibly widening. She was _too _hopeful, even for Alice. Something was different this time.

I looked to Carlisle expectantly, my stomach churning at the thought of forcing more drugs into my vampire. It would be worth it in the end, I was positive. But I wasn't sure how many more times I could do it.

"Is it going to work?" I asked, although no one would technically have the answer.

"Well," Carlisle said, "it was successful in the lab. But that doesn't necessarily mean it'll work in practice. Any number of outside factors could prevent it from functioning, so the best way of seeing is to… well, test it." He made his way over to his bag and retrieved the familiar little vial.

I nodded. My adrenaline was pumping with the prospect of this working. "And if it works… then you'll let him drink tonight?" I asked.

Carlisle looked warily at Alice then back to me, nodding stiffly. "If it works… _then_ we'll worry about getting him to feed."

As he handed it to me, I regarded it as I would treat the last bit of water on Earth. I'd die before anything came into contact with this vial.

"You'll be alright?" Carlisle asked, precautionary but knowing my answer. As I opened my mouth, Alice spoke.

"She'll be fine!" She began leading me toward the door, too eager for me to be downstairs. As we reached it, she leaned in and whispered, "Good luck, Bella. Take good care of him."

I sort of blanched at her, unsure of what to make of that.

"I… always do." I smiled then, opening the door and letting myself hope once again.

**

When I reached my vampire I took the customary few minutes to greet him. Our eyes met and his head fell onto his knee, his shaking immediately calming. It was as good as any smile would ever be, and it further sparked that long lost hope in me.

I sat in front of him, rubbing his fingers and his hands, awaiting my invitation. It didn't take long this time. His black eyes closed and his frown softened, our fingers tangling together. He took a shaky breath, letting our eyes meet once more, and his expression shifted, his frown returning. I nodded, easing our bodies down and into the position that we had perfected over the last three days. He was more nervous this time, I could feel his reluctance, and it broke my heart to know that he was right. Still, he complied, seemingly warring between his trust in me and his instinct to distrust me.

I scoffed, once again preparing to lose it all.

"So…" I began, ready for his rush of panic. He started shaking a little more, but wasn't trying to escape. Yet. "Carlisle got the second trial ready at the lab." I spoke softly, soothingly, my voice betraying my inner turmoil. I reached behind me and grasped the vial, removing the stopper. He couldn't see me, and he couldn't see it, but he definitely recognized that familiar 'pop'. He flinched violently, his growling erupting as he pushed his body against the wall. He was cornered, as he had been so many times before, and I needed to utilize it.

I reached for his exposed shoulder, guiding him onto his back. His arms protectively encircled his torso, shivering frantically at the new position. My vampire hated being on his back, his chest exposed. During the exam, in the countless times he had rolled over; he avoided resting on his back for any length of time. It's one of those small things that I could recognize now.

He tried to roll to his side but I added some weight to his shoulder, bringing the blanket up to cover his body. It didn't do much good. His eyebrows pulled together and he took deep, sobbing breaths. I imagined this was as close to crying as a vampire could get.

I tried to bring the vial to his mouth quickly, but when it was only a few inches from his face, I felt his hand clutch my arm. I could see the muscles throughout his forearm straining, the force of his trembling hand sending tremors all the way to my shoulder. He was gripping my wrist, not trying to stop me nor encourage me.

I looked at him and he looked back, all of his fear visible in his expression. "Trust me," I whispered, hoping that it wasn't futile. This drug _had_ to work. _It had to_. "Please, please, trust me."

His hand remained clenched around my wrist, his breathing broken and forced, his chest heaving violently off of the floor.

I moved my other hand to his face, the back of my fingers grazing his cheekbones, begging him to try. Once again, he attempted to turn his body away from me, but I held him firmly, not allowing him to break my gaze.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered. "I'm not going to hurt you."

It was having no affect on him in his current state, so I tried once more to coax his mouth open. He wouldn't stop struggling but eventually the gap between his lips was enough. Quickly, I brought the vial to the opening and tilted it, letting the drug spill into my vampire. And again, I had to use my hand to prevent him from expelling it.

His head thrashed underneath my hand and his body shook fiercely, his grasp on my wrist tightening as a result of his terror.

I wanted to let him roll over, but I worried that he would lose the antidote in doing so, and I'd have to put him through this _again_. I wasn't sure if I'd even make it this far a third time. God, I hoped this would work.

"Calm down, it's okay," I said, trying to work my wrist free. His eyes closed and his thrashing let up; I knew he was close. Close to being broken one more time. "I need you to swallow it," I pleaded, hoping it wouldn't be much longer.

Several minutes later, his body stilled. The atmosphere was almost tranquil, my vampire gripping my wrist, my hand clutching his mouth shut like my life depended on it, and our eyes never leaving one another.

He closed his then, breathing deeply through his nose. The expression on his face softened slightly as he let his senses absorb the environment. Whatever it was, it seemed to calm him.

I felt his hand shaking slightly against mine as his breathing picked up, the only indication of his internal chaos, and slowly, deliberately, my vampire swallowed the contents.

I breathed a sigh of relief as he let his hand fall from my arm. His eyes remained closed as he turned his body away from me.

I didn't lay with him this time, though. I just rubbed his back, up and down his spine, as his breaths returned to a normal pace.

**

My vampire was shaking with a newfound veracity, his eyes huge and black as his lips slightly parted in terror. He shifted to his crouching position, a mountain lion ready to pounce, his eyes remaining focused on the basement door. I stumbled backward until I found the far corner of the room, unsure of whether to watch him or the door, but finally settling my gaze on the top of the staircase. I could feel my breathing and heart rate steadily climbing as my own limbs began to shudder, not knowing what to expect but anticipating a wide range of scenarios.

I could see the shadows blocking the light from the foyer; whoever was out there was ready and waiting. I knew I'd have to act to protect my vampire if I could, so once again, I prepared myself for the possible death that I would likely face. Instead of my life flashing before my eyes, though, my vampire's did. I prayed to any god that I could possibly think of that the Cullens would protect _him_. While I imagined his captors, poised outside of this room, waiting to take back what they thought was _theirs_, I let my eyes meet his for one last time, engraining his features into my memory. I nodded decisively, knowing what my one purpose in all of this must have been.

I began the mission of placing myself between my vampire and our common enemy resolutely, returning my focus to the door in sheer anticipation. I didn't know what I'd be able to do, if anything, but maybe I'd at least distract them long enough for him to make his escape. Or for Alice to see, for the Cullens to help. With just a few steps left to my destination, the door opened.

I didn't even have time to process the events, for my vampire sprang at his captors, his last effort to protect himself from a world that knew no good.

**

**A/N**: Sorry ... ;)

Nothing intelligent to say here except… instead of crapping yourselves waiting for ch.10, review!

(updated a/n: I realize the transition is a leeeeetle vague. bear with me.)


	10. The Bedroom

**A/N**:

Thanks to Jilburfm for Betaing and.. OCD for being awesome.

Umm... The girls on the thread for Basement Night because it was amazing… and if you guys haven't gone to the thread at all yet, check it out -- link in my profile!

S. Meyer owns Twilight, not me.

**

The Bedroom

**Jasper POV**

"Alice?" Carlisle said again, waiting for some indication of whether or not the antidote would work. Bella had gone downstairs over an hour ago, which meant that, if Alice saw it working, it was nearly time to put it to a test.

"I think we should try it…" she said. Her certain tone contrasted the doubt that I knew she was feeling. "It's not going to go well, though. He's seriously outnumbered and even if he wasn't he would be no match for any of us, but I can't see exactly how bad the aftermath will be."

"Maybe we should give him a few more days," I added, dreading being a part of this. "Maybe we can get him to drink on his own… or Bella -"

Carlisle interjected then, although we all knew his opinion on this particular issue. "No, Jasper. I won't allow Bella to be near him when he feeds. We have _no_ idea what he'll be like. We're not going to compromise her that way…_again_," he paused, pointedly glancing at Alice. "It'd be the ultimate act of irresponsibility."

He meant well, of course, but if there was one thing that Carlisle was confident about, it was this.

"Besides, it's not an issue of his willingness. Medically speaking, the only way to get the blood from our hands to his stomach is to avoid his senses."

I looked to Alice, begging her reassurance. It'd be so much easier if she wasn't so antsy about the whole thing; her emotions betrayed her carefully constructed façade.

"I'm just going to give him a few pints tonight – to make sure that everything's working well. If his body accepts the blood, I would imagine that we'd see some improvement relatively quickly."

There was a hesitant moment of silence while we all considered what the evening would bring before Emmett finally spoke. "I don't mean to be a downer… but what happens when Bella wants to come back tonight?"

Everyone turned their attention back to Alice for the answer. "He'll be okay," she said certainly, and based on the wave of relief I felt, I knew that I was the only one who caught her in her lie. She had no idea if she was telling the truth.

"Okay," Carlisle said, mostly to himself. He went to the foyer to retrieve his medical bag, the scent of the blood strengthening as he came back toward us. "Bella leaves first," he began assuredly, "Emmett and Jasper, you'll possibly need to hold him down. He didn't put up much fight last time, but the more still we're able to keep him, the easier this will be for everyone."

"I think you should go down first. Try to calm him down, and then I'll get Bella," Alice said to me.

"Do you think she'll go without a fight?" Emmett said with a laugh, amusement his most prominent emotion. I envied him.

"I _know_ she won't," Alice answered sadly, "but Carlisle's right – she can't stay here while he feeds. He _could_ potentially lose control over himself. I don't think he'd hurt her intentionally, but if blood triggers something in him, we wouldn't want her in the line of fire…"

With a deep breath, I moved to the door. I stood there for several seconds, allowing myself to calm down and plan out my route.

I could already hear the vampire growing aggressive downstairs, the breaths speeding, the soft pattering against the wall with each quiver of his body. The fear was palpable, but something overshadowed it. Resolve? Not just from Bella, but from the vampire, as well. They were prepared to fight for one another. Suddenly I heard Bella's footsteps moving closer, and I knew I'd have to act.

With a sigh, I opened the basement door.

I could hear Alice shrieking behind me as I did, but it was too late to stop. I made it down the steps in a split second, knowing that I'd be met with resistance and not wanting to have to deal directly with Bella.

When his body slammed into mine I was taken aback by his burst of energy. The last time I saw him he had no strength at all, he hadn't even bothered to lift his body from the table. Now as I pushed him into the wall, he was fighting hard. I had no idea where this strength came from, and although it was still no match for mine, the mixture of agony and fear and panic made it difficult to contain him.

"Alice!" I shouted, needing Bella far, far away. She was bawling and closing the distance between us, ready to fight me off of him. Her panic and anguish hit me like a wrecking ball, causing me to nearly lose my hold. "Alice!" I yelled again.

I tried to calm myself but it was only marginally effective. Their emotions were strong, stronger than necessary, stronger than healthy, for either of them. Bella had no reason to be this afraid, and yet she was trying to protect him, trying so hard to save him from me, although she knew she had no chance.

Alice came down an instant later, dragging Bella back while trying to soothe her. But her efforts were wasted, Bella was almost as fearful as this vampire. The two struggled with one another and I was running out of patience. I wouldn't be any help if I had to deal with twice as much fear as I was prepared for. I pulled in a shaky breath, using all of my willpower to calm myself.

"Get him to the table," Carlisle spoke calmly, knowing what effect this was all having on me. He dodged Alice and Bella at the foot of the stairs. "You need to go, Bella. We're going to feed him, going to help him. You can come back later, afterward."

At this, Bella calmed slightly. "You're hurting him!" she cried. And she truly believed it. It was hard to gauge how much actual pain he was in, but I could see that Bella was at least partially correct. This needed to go faster.

I pulled him over to the table where Carlisle waited, the two of us struggling with his thrashing body until he lay flat on his back. We each had a grip on his shoulders, keeping him pinned while we waited for Emmett.

"Please, Alice," I heard Bella say. _Don't, __Alice__._ Of course she would, though. Because she was Alice, and, as no one could say "no" to her, she couldn't say "no" to Bella.

"You can't stay while he feeds. Just take a minute to talk to him, try to calm him down," she whispered. Bella nodded, her tear-streaked face was red and swollen.

She ran to the corner and grabbed the discarded blanket, quickly making her way over to us.

"Jesus, Bella._ Please_ be careful," Carlisle said, tightening his grip.

She moved to stand beside me, opposite Carlisle, and put the blanket over his shaking body.

"It's okay," she whispered. She looked at his face and ran her fingers down his cheek. Something else… was overriding her fear. Something I wasn't entirely comfortable with. Something I don't think any of us would be comfortable with. It made simply watching this exchange uncomfortable. Like I was witnessing something deep, something that I wasn't meant to see.

I closed my eyes, trying to channel Bella's feelings into something constructive while giving her what little privacy I could.

The vampire wasn't exactly calming, but he was using less force. His body was stilling, so I chanced a peek at him. He looked at her with intense fear, gulping in air around him, letting it calm his nerves.

"They're going to help you," she cried, pushing his hair back. "I trust them. Please…please trust _me_."

It didn't help with the fear, but I assumed that her presence in general was calming him.

"You need to go now, Bella," Carlisle interrupted them, looking to Alice and back to the vampire before continuing. "He needs to feed; it's time for you to let _us_ help him."

Her misery returned as Alice came to her side, grabbing her hand and leading her away.

"It'll be okay," she whispered on the way out, not noticing when the vampire began to fight us once more.

Carlisle moved so that Emmett could take over the task of restraining him. He retrieved a long tube from his bag, a little jar of lubricant and some sort of wire.

"Bella seems to think that you can understand what's going on," Carlisle said suddenly, putting one hand firmly on the vampire's forehead, ignoring the struggling. "We're going to help you – we're going to feed you." He ran the tube across his face and down his torso, measuring. He swallowed hard, looking at both Emmett and I before turning back to his subject.

"I'm running a feeding tube to your stomach," he explained, as he dipped his fingers into the jar and coated one end of the tube.

The vampire was violently trying to break Carlisle's grasp, paying less attention to us, his fear growing by the second. I knelt down beside the table, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths to calm myself. I could feel my grip on him slipping once more and I knew that it would make everything so much worse if I were to lose my hold.

"Dude, calm down," Emmett said, resting his hand on the vampire's forearm. "Look at what you're doing to Jasper… you need to relax."

I looked at Emmett, who was the calmest out of anyone in the room, as he reached down to grasp the vampire's hand.

"Bella really needs to start sleeping and shit, bro. And she's not going to do that until you're feeling better, so I think you should let us do this."

While it was completely fucking ineffective, both Carlisle and I cracked a smile, allowing me to shake some of the intensity of the situation.

Emmett kept talking to the vampire, which never actually helped, as Carlisle finished getting everything ready.

Once the doctor in him was satisfied, he brought the tip of the tube to the vampire's nose. There was growling and thrashing and pain and fear, but I knew I needed to override it. I averted my eyes, not enjoying the picture. His breathes were coming hard and were now accompanied with terrified whimpers, begging someone to help him.

"If you swallow, it'll go down easier," Carlisle said, waiting briefly for any indication of understanding. When he was met with none, he began pushing the tube further.

The vampire's back arched off the table as his legs kicked uselessly against nothing. I could feel my body begin to shake harder, all the while my grip continued slipping, so I called for Rosalie. I knew Esme wouldn't be able to handle this any better than I was.

She came down moments later, looking annoyed and slightly horrified at the picture, crossing her arms and shaking her head in refusal to be a part of this.

"Rose, please," I gasped, my knees buckling under me. "I can't… I can't hold him much longer."

She slowly made her way over to me, too slowly, as the vampire's growing and thrashing continued to increase. The smug superiority that usually emanated from her was gone now, replaced with disgust and sympathy. My legs were shaking hard, my hands pulling back on their own accord, but Rosalie came to our rescue, taking my place.

I darted from the basement, up the stairs and out of the house, running freely for as long as it took. I had no destination and paid no attention to where I was going, I just ran.

**

**Bella POV  
**

It was 5:30 by the time I got home. Alice stayed with me, unsure of whether I'd be capable of keeping it together for Charlie.

He wasn't there yet, so Alice offered to begin cooking dinner while I showered and got cleaned up.

When I came back downstairs, the table was set for two and the noodles were just softening. "What do you need me to do?"

Alice turned to me, looking me up and down slowly. "God, Bella. You're a wreck."

I swallowed loudly, waiting for the lecture. Instead, she walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "He'll be fine," she whispered. "They've already gotten the tube in, which means I can officially see –"

"That it'll work?!" I asked, all too hopefully, my mood changing instantly.

"Yep," she said, releasing me.

"So he'll be okay?"

"I know Carlisle isn't really giving him a… full meal yet. He wants to give him another dose of the antidote at some point to be safe, and he didn't want to give him too much blood just in case something goes wrong. But it looks like he'll be stronger tonight…" She bit her lip, almost as excited as I was for the news.

Charlie walked in the door then, smelling the food and calling my name.

"In here, Dad," I said, feeling better about the evening.

He walked through the door and stopped short. "You look like hell, Bella," he said curtly, eyeing my face with little effort at inconspicuousness.

"Thanks," I rolled my eyes, turning my attention back to preparing dinner.

"You're eating here tonight?"

I smiled sardonically, "You act like I haven't stepped foot in the house in years."

He looked at Alice then back to me. "Are you sure you want to do this now?" _Uh oh._

"I'm actually heading off, let you two eat dinner and… yeah," Alice said. I shot a hateful glance her way as she briskly exited the kitchen.

Huffing, I finished with the spaghetti and turned to the salad that was waiting on the counter.

When we finally sat down, I focused all of my attention on eating my food, watching the fork maneuver the noodles, until Charlie finally cleared his throat.

"So… you've been spending a lot of time with the Cullens," he said, awkward and cranky. "To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it, Bella."

"How you feel about me spending time with friends? I thought that's what you wanted…" I said innocently. _Do not lose your temper. Do not lose your temper._

"You know what I mean."

"No, Charlie, I don't. I'm spending a lot of time with Alice. _Alice__!_ You love Alice."

"Is this about a guy?"

I'll admit, that caught me off guard. "What?" I choked.

"That… brother. One of the guys saw you two at the diner together, said you looked pretty cozy."

I tried to cut in, but he kept going.

"You're old enough to date, Bella. You know that, I just… don't like the idea of you spending the night at the Cullen's if you're dating Alice's brother."

My face turned beet red and I turned my gaze back to the noodles. "Charlie! I'm not _dating_ EMMETT!"

"I'm just saying, Isabella…" God, this was as bad for him as it was for me. "It's okay if you are, but I want to know about it… and…" _Oh please no, please, please, please, please, no. _"I hope you two are being…" _please, please, please._ "…safe."

"DAD!" I closed my eyes. "I'm _not dating Emmett_. I _swear_."

"Okay, okay. Just… curfew, right? 10 o'clock from now on…" Embarrassment was quickly replaced by overwhelming anger. I didn't think I could actually win this argument, at least not until I turned 18, and that wasn't for a few weeks, but the idea of leaving him every night killed me. I wasn't sure whether I should agree to it or take a stand, so in the end, I just nodded. "And… if… if you are dating _someone_… just be careful, Bells."

I stood up, not speaking to nor looking at him, and cleared my plate. I headed straight to my bedroom, resisting the urge to slam the door like any other 17 year old would've done. I knew it wouldn't get me anywhere. Being mature about it was the only way to go, and hopefully I'd still have my weekends.

By the time 7 o'clock rolled around my knee was perhaps permanently damaged from constantly banging it on the underside of my desk. I reached to my phone but was interrupted by a knock at my door.

I wasn't planning on dealing with Charlie anymore tonight but, if I was going to leave again, I knew I shouldn't act terribly childish.

"Come in," I grumbled, hoping to hear out whatever he had to say as quickly as possible.

I was surprised when Alice entered, but immediately felt relief. Because she was on my side, and that was worth the world.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, my anticipation growing with each silent moment.

"Everything's fine, I actually didn't go to the house… but I came here to get you."

I grabbed my book, preparing for another possible evening of catching up on schoolwork, and headed out the door with Alice on my heels.

Charlie met us in the kitchen, shooting daggers right at me. "Isabella?"

"10 o'clock, Charlie. I know," I said, breaking his gaze and putting my coat on.

He grumbled his reluctant approval and goodbye as we headed out the door.

**

When we got to the mansion it was almost 7:30. I knew I didn't have enough time with him, so I immediately went to the basement.

I eagerly pushed my way past everyone, finally making it downstairs, but was taken aback when he wasn't in his corner.

I looked around the dark room before finally turning on the light. I couldn't find him anywhere.

"Alice?" I said, panic creeping into my voice. What if he left? If he ate and got strong and left?! What if I'd never see him again? "ALICE?!"

She appeared behind me, turning my body to face hers.

"Relax, Bella," she said, clearly unaware of the fact that this was a mere impossibility. "He's okay."

"_Where is he, __Alice__?!_"

"He's… upstairs," she said.

"_What?"_

"Well, apparently they moved him with you in mind… There's really no reason to keep him down here, anyway. I can see that he'll be fine up there."

"Where… upstairs?" I couldn't imagine my vampire anywhere but in his corner, anywhere but in this basement. But when I allowed myself to picture it, it wasn't entirely unpleasant.

"He's… in the guest room. He's pretty weak, and hasn't tried to move at all, I think he's doing a little better, though," she said, reaching for my hand.

I gave it to her and allowed her to lead me up the stairs and into the living room.

There, everyone waited but Jasper and Rosalie. Alice had told me on the drive that Jasper wouldn't be here tonight, so it was only surprising that Rose was missing too.

"Bella," Carlisle stood to greet me. I sat down on the couch, sandwiched between Alice and Emmett, waiting for another lecture. I was fully prepared to tune it out.

"Where's Rose?" I asked Emmett, hoping everything was alright. My vampire couldn't have hurt anyone after he fed, could he?

"She's with your boyfriend," he responded glumly. "Apparently you're not the only one with a cru--"

"Emmett," Esme chided. "You know that's not the case."

He grumbled something that sounded dangerously close to "whatever" and turned his attention to the window.

"We thought it'd be best to keep someone with him for now. The feeding tube is still in place and we didn't really want him moving around too much. She's actually in the hallway by the door, listening for signs of trouble," Alice said.

"But…_Rosalie?_"

Emmett coughed to hide his chuckle then went back to glowering.

"She sort of had a… I don't know, a moment with him," Carlisle explained. "I think her nurturing instincts kicked in…"

I felt a wave of irrational jealousy roll through me as I pictured _Rosalie_ comforting _my _vampire. I took a deep breath and pushed it away, not wanting to waste any more of what little time I had tonight.

"Just… say what you have to say. I have a _curfew_ now." Emmett laughed again and I punched his arm, ready to pummel him if he continued.

"We're just not positive how safe it'll be," Carlisle continued. "We gave him a few pints of blood to start, if he keeps it down and everything works right, we'll give him more before you come back… but, it's fair to say that he's feeling stronger now. And we're – _I'm _not sure that you should go upstairs tonight – not until we can figure out his intentions."

I began to interrupt, to defend my vampire, but Carlisle ignored me, much as Charlie had earlier.

"There's absolutely no reason for him to leave you unharmed if he's stronger. Or even if you startle him, Bella. The _only_ reason I even consider letting you go up there is because Jasper and Alice agree it's for the best. But know that we'll not be far, and if _anything _happens to indicate that he might hurt you, we _will_ intervene."

I didn't like the implications of this speech. My vampire wouldn't hurt me, would he? He hadn't hurt _them._ Arguing now would just take more time, though, so I agreed to his terms.

Alice practically squealed as she dragged me to my feet, leading me to the stairs. "I feel like I have to tell you to be careful, but Bella, it'll be fine."

"I know it will," I grumbled.

I followed her, waiting to see where we'd end up. "Guest room" could mean any number of rooms in this house, so I was excited and nervous to see where my time would now be spent. When I saw Rose leaning against the wall by the door to _my_ guest room, I couldn't help the smile that overtook my features.

I knew there were several empty rooms throughout the upper levels of the mansion, but there was just one that was fully furnished for my frequent sleepovers. And that was the room they had chosen for my vampire.

"Bella," Rosalie sneered through her teeth, glaring at Alice. "I don't think he's feeling too well," she continued. "Maybe you shouldn't go in tonight – we don't want to make him any less comfortable."

My eyebrows pulled together in sheer anger. _Who the hell is this?_ I decided to let it go for now, though, because every minute I spent being jealous was a minute I lost of the night.

I pushed past them and opened the door slowly to the familiar sounds of my vampire's growl.

"I'll come up at 9:30, okay?" Alice asked as I entered the room. I nodded before closing the door behind me.

He lay on the bed, his back facing the ceiling, the blanket pulled all the way up to his neck. I couldn't see anything but the back of his head, but it was enough to make me smile.

I walked around to the side that he was closer to and was shocked by what I found. When I was able to look past the tube that ran from his nose, I could hardly contain my awe.

It was the same vampire that I had grown to know, but different. His cheeks were slightly fuller; his lips had a little color. He was still too pale, still too sunken and hollow, but there were visible differences from the feeding. His eyes were closed and still rimmed in dark rings, but somehow his features looked more peaceful. I touched his face and he flinched, but inhaled deeply; his growling eased as he opened his eyes.

They looked more or less the same, but the pitch black that I was used to now showed very vague crimson undertones. It wasn't enough to notice if you weren't looking for it, but I'd been searching those eyes for over a week which made this change significant to me.

He didn't look upset or hurt, he just looked… resigned. I touched the bridge of his nose, hoping the tube wasn't uncomfortable, and he pulled back a little. So I removed my hand and slipped out of my shoes.

"You look good," I told him with a smile, tracing his lips with my finger. He trembled and recoiled a bit, but let me continue. He inhaled, taking in my scent, his eyes closing at what he smelled. It occurred to me that I was risking my fingers, keeping them this close to this mouth, but I trusted my vampire. He wouldn't hurt me. I smiled wider, moving to the other side of the bed and pulling back the covers.

I climbed in, the shift of the mattress startling him, as his body cowered further under the covers.

Slowly, not to disturb the bed any further than necessary, I made my way closer to him. When I was finally satisfied with the distance between us, I pulled the blanket up to my waist, leaving his upper back partially exposed.

His head wasn't facing me so it was difficult to gauge how affected he was by my actions, but his trembling had calmed almost completely. He simply lay there, accepting my touch.

I moved my leg to rest against his, hoping it wouldn't bother him much. I felt his muscles tighten and pull back before resting again, so I moved myself closer still. When I reached his leg again, he growled briefly but quickly gave up. I chuckled to myself and brought my hand to his back.

His wounds there weren't as prominent as they had been. I traced the lines, no longer afraid of them hurting him. They looked more like month-old scars than fresh cuts.

He was still starving, it was clear by his protruding ribcage, but I couldn't feel anything but happiness in that moment. Because he was eating, and he was getting healthier. And Carlisle promised that they'd feed him again before I came back.

I bit my lip, trailing my fingers down his spine absentmindedly. I was resting on my side, my head propped on my elbow, rubbing his leg and back, and he wasn't growling. And he wasn't trembling. And my vampire was getting better.

I could see that he was trying to turn his head toward me, so I reached around him, manipulating the tube so that it wouldn't be affected by the change in position. When his head finally rest on his other cheek, I let mine fall to the pillow.

I brought my hand to his neck and his eyes closed briefly, and I don't think I had ever smiled so widely in my life.

I knew I was running out of time, and a large part of me wanted to blow off Charlie and his rules. I was almost 18… he wouldn't be able to punish me forever.

I let my mind wander, not breaking my vampire's gaze for an instant. Eventually, though, we heard a knock. It startled me back to reality, my vampire growling and tensing. We shared a fearful glance before the door crept open and Alice peeked in.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. "It's only Alice," I said. "It's okay." I was trying to convince us both, but honestly, I wasn't sure that my body was cut out for living in fear like this.

"Bella – it's 9:30. We need to get going if you want to be allowed back here again."

"I'll be right down," I whispered, turning back to my vampire.

I explained the events of dinner to him, how Charlie thought I was dating Emmett, how he gave me a curfew. I left out the sex part because somehow it embarrassed me to tell my barely-coherent vampire about the speech I got.

When I was finished my thoroughly one-sided rant, I realized for the first time that I wasn't going to sleep here. I guess I was in denial, but it hadn't occurred to me. His first night in a real bed and I had to sleep at home. By myself. I reached under the blanket and grabbed his hand, pulling it up so that it was exposed. I traced the veins there, running my fingers along each of his. Slowly, I pulled back, crawling out of the bed. Everything was cold again, all my feelings of security and warmth gone.

I slipped back into my tennis shoes and walked closer to the bed. His head was now facing the opposite direction, so I sat on the edge, over the blankets, and pulled them back up to his neck.

His breathing was low and even as I ran my fingers through his hair. I sighed then, getting up sadly and walking to the door.

"'Night," I said. "Don't go anywhere tonight, okay? I'll be back tomorrow after school."

His eyes bore into mine and his eyebrows pulled together. I could see the frame of his hand clutching the blanket and at that moment I fought one of the hardest battles of my life. The choice to leave then was more difficult than any choice I'd ever had to make. I wanted nothing more than to run back to him, to curl up under the covers and to help my vampire get through this.

But I had to leave. And when I got back, he'd be even better. And possibly gone.

"Don't leave me," I whispered sadly, before backing out and closing the door.

I made my way slowly down the steps, meeting Alice in the foyer.

She drove me home in almost complete silence, a goofy grin on her face the whole time. I tried to ignore it, it was messing with my angst, but I eventually found that it was contagious. And suddenly I was smiling too, because my vampire was on the mend. I allowed myself to be happy, to set aside my worries, if just for a moment.

"He'll still be here," she said as she pulled into my driveway. "So you can stop worrying."

"I thought you couldn't see him?" I asked.

"It's clearing up."

_**_

**A/N**:

So, sorry for the cliffhanger last chap guys.. really, I am.

Review if you're going to miss the basement.. or review if you're happy the vamp is getting healthy.. or review if you're indifferent. Seriously, it's my heroin, guys.

Oh! I can answer a few questions that might come up:

Its senior year, beginning of the semester. Bella moved to Forks junior year in the middle of jr year (as per twilight). One day, one day we will know the tale of how she learned about the Cullens.

And the vamp is still naked.

I swear there were other questions. And I forget them, which is really what I get for updating so late…


	11. The Sunset

**A/N**: Big thanks to Jill for beta'ing all 90 of the drafts I sent her for this chapter; Thanks to OCD for being amazing, and to EVERYONE who is rec'ing this around the fanfic world!

I ended up being able to respond to a lot of the reviews, but in the end, there was a chunk that I couldn't get to. I read and enjoyed them ALL, so thank you!

******

The Sunset

**Carlisle POV**

After Bella left, Jasper, Emmett and I took the opportunity to hunt. It had been over a week since our failed outing and we were all getting thirstier than acceptable, given our circumstances.

As we were leaving, I noticed Rosalie was back to standing by the bedroom door. It was more than a little perplexing but it was true to her personality. It would be interesting, to say the least, to see how _that_ develops.

We didn't go far today, as none of us were particularly comfortable separating the group at this point. We hunted in relative silence, each lost in our thoughts of what it all would mean.

"He'll be stronger tomorrow," Emmett said, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. I closed my eyes, finishing up with my kill before answering.

"I know." I took a seat on the log next to Emmett. Jasper sat down next to me.

"What are we going to do about it?" he asked.

"I'm not sure… I'm not sure what to make of any of this. But I know that someone went to great lengths to keep him contained, and whoever it is probably isn't going to give up on finding him. We need to tread carefully here; I don't doubt that they have the resources to locate him if we get careless."

Emmett inhaled sharply, apparently beginning to see the full weight of the situation.

"So… if they find him… then what?" he finally asked, no traces of his former jovial self leaking into his question.

"I don't know," I answered. "We have Alice, so I would imagine that knowing of any impending attack will work to our advantage, but that assumes that we'll be involved in the attack. If they come for just him, then I'm not sure she'd see it in time."

"Why not?" he asked.

Jasper answered then, being the expert on Alice. "She's not really looking directly into _his_ future much. She's getting glimpses here and there, but, until this afternoon, it was all so obscure that she couldn't really make anything of it."

"But she said it's starting to come together, right?"

"Yes," he answered, hesitant, worry leaking through his voice.

"Jasper?" I began, turning my full attention to him. "Is everything alright?"

He shook it off, forcing a half-smile onto his face. "Everything's fine. Yep, his future is clearing up, so you're right, hopefully she'll see if anyone's coming for him," he finished quickly, standing and inhaling. I knew better than to push this now, but I didn't like the idea of him hiding something from us.

I didn't believe he was keeping something that could lead us into danger; no, I knew he wouldn't do that; and neither would Alice, for that matter. But he was obviously shaken, and possibly in a big way, which brought on a new wave of nervousness.

He noticed my uneasiness and glowered down at me, begging me to drop it. It was always a difficult balance to find, being sensitive enough while keeping the family safe and the introduction of this vampire was making that task nearly impossible.

I stood, stalking over to him, eager to finish hunting and get back to the house, back to the rest of our family.

******

When we got home the sun had just started rising. Everyone began preparing for their daily tasks as I mulled over how to approach the vampire again. I needed to give him another dose of the antidote, my medical training demanded it.

With the feeding tube in place it wouldn't be difficult to actually get him to ingest the medicine; it was the initial approach that constantly cast a dark cloud over the situation.

In his defense, he had no idea we were trying help him. Every minute I spent with him it became more evident that he had been mishandled for longer than I could even conceive. However, something about his reaction to our approaches wasn't right. For as incoherent as he was, he had a knack for predicting the confrontations before they happened.

My only guess was that he had a gift; something akin to Alice's, possibly, although it could be anything. The one thing that I knew with certainty was that it heightened his fear and it made him more aware than he should be; it was disconcerting.

I retrieved my bag and slowly began the trip upstairs, dreading the uproar it would cause. I hated doing this to him. I hated breaking him when he was so broken, and I hated that he had no idea we were helping him.

_But we are helping him_, I had to remind myself. _It's for the best._

Being a doctor, I had to handle people against their will more often than I cared to admit. It came with the territory. The problem wasn't just fighting him, though. The problem was fighting Bella. The problem was the way she looked at me every time I made him uncomfortable. I could only hope that she saw reason where he was concerned, but my gut told me this assumption was inaccurate.

And now, as I walked up the stairs, the problem became Rosalie.

"Carlisle," she said, walking toward me as I cleared the last of the second staircase.

"How is he?"

"Same. What're you going to do to him?"

"I'm going to give him some medicine so I can feed him in a few hours," I explained, channeling the patient father that they knew me to be. Admittedly, though, it was quickly slipping.

And when she stepped in front of me as I went to the doorway, it's safe to say that it was gone.

"Rosalie, this is not your place."

"The _hell_ it's not. Who else is going to look out for him?"

I grumbled and took a deep breath. Bella and Rosalie had never been particularly close, and we had always been grateful for that. They were two of the most tenacious girls I'd ever met, so I knew that nothing good could come out of Rosalie's interest in the vampire.

"Rose," I began, preparing the same speech I'd given Bella twelve hours earlier. "I'm going to feed him. He'll never heal if he doesn't eat, please let me by."

She grumbled and moved aside, muttering about condescension and doctors.

I walked to his side quickly, not granting him the opportunity to work himself up to the point of insanity, the syringe already prepared. He was growling and struggling to get up, and I knew at this point that he'd be strong enough to get away, so I put a firm hand on chest, carefully avoiding the wound there. He growled viciously, both of his arms coming to mine in a power struggle, and as I stared down at him I noticed that he wouldn't meet my eyes.

His eyes were barely open but focusing intently on something beyond me. I turned my head quickly to look but found nothing.

I could feel his struggling easing under my hand, and I wondered if he was possibly beginning to trust me. I allowed myself to hope, for the briefest second, that he was starting to come around. That maybe, somewhere deep inside of him, he knew that we weren't here to hurt him.

He kept his gaze trained downward, his breathing fast and panicked before he finally turned away from me.

I let up my grip a bit. His fighting didn't pick up again.

"It's almost over," I said as I injected the syringe into the end of the tube. "You just need to hang in there for a little bit longer. Don't give up yet," I whispered to him.

I waited a few minutes, allowing the drug to flow through the tube before standing quietly and leaving.

**

**Bella POV**

By the time school let out, I was equal parts nervous and excited to see his progression. Alice had been distant throughout the day, but even when we had time to talk, she put on her carefully constructed façade. I asked her a million times what was wrong and she assured me that my vampire was fine; that I'd see for myself that evening.

I didn't think she'd lie to me, unless she was trying to save me from a public breakdown, but even so, if something was wrong then I figured that the Cullens would have ditched. Still, I knew Alice well enough to know that she was troubled by something. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, suspecting that it'd take some convincing to get it out of her.

By the end of the day our conversations had reduced themselves to simple pleasantries, so it surprised me when she walked me to my truck and hopped into the passenger side.

"You're coming with me?" I quirked an eyebrow, trying to decipher her game.

"Sure. I might as well make myself useful." She winked as she turned the volume to the ancient stereo as loud as it would go without the speakers crackling.

We rode to my house in silence, save for the occasional pointed glances toward one another.

When we finally got there, I was almost ready to just skip the side trip and go straight to the mansion. After all, Charlie had implemented my curfew, so it would possibly serve him right to have to fend for himself in the dinner department. But I knew that it was necessary to stay in his good graces if I wanted my weekends, so I sucked it up and started pulling the contents from the fridge.

Alice began preparing to cook, neither of us particularly eager to break the silence. The awkwardness had festered over the course of the day and it was officially blown out of proportion. I grimaced and sat down, watching her back as she maneuvered the kitchen.

Finally, she turned to me. "What's up, Bella?" she asked nonchalantly.

"You tell me."

She studied my unwavering face for signs of surrender before finally taking the chair next to mine.

"I'm worried."

I huffed. The lectures were getting redundant and tedious, and I wasn't sure how many more my brain could handle before it exploded.

"Hear me out," she began. I rolled my eyes in response. "Bella – what if he's dangerous? What if he gets better and has no interest in our lifestyle?"

"I've already thought about –"

She put a finger up, begging me to let her finish. "I'm worried about how close you're getting to him. Even if he never hunts humans and never leaves Forks, what do you expect from him?"

I considered how to answer for a minute. I tried to avoid thinking in terms of the long run, everything was already so unclear. But there was an undeniable truth that I had yet to acknowledge. So I played it safe.

"I… guess that I hope we could be friends? I don't see how it'd be any different than you and me, you know?"

She smiled, nodding her head and narrowing her eyes. "Mmhmm. Well, I just think you should be careful. There are so many ways that this could end unpleasantly, not the least of which is with you dead."

I averted my eyes and stood, heading back to the stove to finish cooking.

"Let me do this, you go shower and do your human things," Alice cut in. I stepped aside and handed her the spoon, silently leaving the kitchen.

**

When we got to the house at 4:30 I wanted nothing more than to head straight upstairs, but I knew that wouldn't happen when I saw the convention of vampires in the living room on my way through.

"Hey guys," I said, diverting from my path and leaning against the arm of the couch. "How is he?"

"He's stronger," Carlisle began as he stood to greet me. "Please be careful."

I crossed my arms in indignation, shaking my head slowly to myself. "I will be," I finally answered.

Esme chuckled, coming to my side. "We know you will. Don't mind him, he's just concerned for you."

I knew she was right, but the constant lectures were taking their toll. I looked at Carlisle apologetically, at which he smiled, telling me I was forgiven.

"Well, what are you still doing down here?" Emmett finally asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

I let out the breath I had been holding and felt the color return to my face. He smirked, exaggerating his eye roll toward the stairs.

"I'll uhh… I'll see you guys…" I started, not sure where I was going with this. "…later," I finished lamely.

When I made it upstairs Rosalie was at her post, eyeing me crossly. I pushed past her this time, unprepared to actually deal with her in the moment.

Seeing him then, I felt a flood of relief wash over me. My vampire was still safe, right where I had left him.

He didn't growl at me, he didn't open his eyes, he didn't inhale.

I carefully moved closer to him, waiting for him to acknowledge that someone was approaching him. His body tensed and lightly trembled as I drew near, the low rumbling growl instinctively resonating from his chest. When I was finally within an arm's reach I let our skin make contact.

He flinched and his eyes closed tighter, but he remained mostly still. Eventually, though, he inhaled, and his shoulders immediately relaxed as his shuddering let up.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, increasing the contact of our skin. He took another shaky breath as his growling ceased.

"Do you mind if I…?" I began to ask before removing my shoes and climbing onto the bed. I pulled the blanket off of his back a bit to look at his wounds, to make sure he had fed, and I found that they had certainly faded more. I crossed my legs underneath me and sat next to him, freeing his arm from the blanket. He complied without a fight, his eyes finally opening to me.

I held his hand in mine, tracing the veins in his arms and watching his face for signs of discomfort. When I saw none, I let my fingers graze the length of his arm.

I smiled as my fingers finally found his face. He looked healthier. His eyes were a little lighter, but not by much. His coloring wasn't much different than it had been, but his face had filled out more.

As I rubbed his hand, his eyes closed again. My hands trembled in sheer relief that he was more or less okay, but I had no idea how I would leave him again tonight. One night was more than I could handle.

He was almost tranquil, so I took the opportunity to lie down.

I ran my fingers through his tangled hair, trying to remove some of the knots without hurting him. He really was looking better. His eyes didn't come off as blank as they once had and I no longer felt as though he was looking through me. It wasn't just physically, either. His features had somehow softened and I didn't get the feeling that he was completely miserable anymore.

I told him about my night and the school day while we laid there. I explained that Alice was keeping something from me and that I wasn't sure how to get it out of her. She never kept things from me.

I watched his breaths slow for a long time, memorizing his face, memorizing the way his lips slightly trembled with every inhale, the way his eyes rolled back when he closed them. Eventually, though, as all good things must end, I became painfully aware of my humanness once more.

The guest room had an adjoining bathroom that I often made use of during my visits, and I very well might have been the only person to set foot in it since the Cullens moved here.

I pulled myself out of bed, trying to ignore the hurt that crossed my vampire's face. His fingers tightened around mine as I withdrew and my heart broke a little

"I'll be right back," I said, untangling our hands and moving to the bathroom.

When I passed the dresser on the way back to the bed, I hesitated. I thought for a minute about how I wanted to approach this, but inevitably I decided that it needed to be done.

I began rummaging through the drawers for a specific pair of pants. They were oversized flannel pajamas that I kept here for the purpose of sleepovers, and they were the most comfortable things in the world.

I finally located them and pulled them from the drawer, holding them out in front of me. I decided immediately that they would serve their purpose, so, with a new mission, I turned and stalked back over to the bed.

My vampire lay there, barely trembling, watching my every move as I approached him. He inhaled, letting himself calm, while I pulled the blanket back off of him.

He was lying on his stomach still, leaving his back exposed, so I flipped the pants over and brought them to his feet.

It took several minutes and more coercion that I ever would have anticipated, but after some struggle, the pants were finally in place.

It didn't seem comfortable to him, to be wearing clothes, but it seemed like a necessary step. He was sort of struggling in them, possibly trying to adjust to the feel, so I just sat with him, rubbing his back, waiting.

Finally, after he had mostly stilled and his trembling was at a minimum, I stood and moved to the west wall that was made almost entirely of glass to pull back the curtains. The sun was just beginning to set and the view of the woods from this room was astounding.

I drew all of the curtains as far back as possible, allowing the light to filter into the bedroom before I made my way back over to the bed.

"You know," I began. "The Cullen's told me I could pick any room in the house." I turned to look at the scene outside before continuing. "I picked this one, though, because Forks is never more beautiful than it is from this bedroom when the sun is setting."

I stood for a few minutes, stretching my legs and back, as the muscles throughout my body had grown tight and rigid.

I looked at my vampire and found him staring out the window intently, his body more motionless than I had ever seen it.

"Over the summer, Alice and I would sit here almost every night watching it set. Sometimes you can hear the wolves howling in the distance," I whispered, moving aside so he could get a full view of the forest. I leaned against the bed, my fingers tangling with his once more.

While I stood there, enjoying this moment with my vampire, I told him about the summers I used to spend with Charlie. The river that he fished at was partially visible from here, and I explained how my days used to be spent reading in the grass while my father caught dinner.

Finally, I climbed onto the bed. I sat at the foot, next to his legs, rubbing his calf through the pajamas. I turned to him and watched in awe as my vampire took in his new surroundings, as he finally began to breathe again.

He looked so at peace in that moment, so free. I wondered briefly if he had ever seen the sunset, or if he remembered it.

I thought back to that night, almost six months ago. The night when reality and fantasy merged into one and my life as I knew it was no more. I couldn't help but wonder where I'd be now if Alice had come just thirty seconds later. Before I could even recognize the feelings, I was stung with the bitter pang of regret. I could be so much more for him, and no one could stop me. I wouldn't have a curfew, I wouldn't have to worry about my vampire killing me, I wouldn't have to worry about the "what ifs" that Alice attacked me with this afternoon. And it could have been perfect.

I knew these thoughts were on a dangerous track so I brought myself back to reality.

I felt the bed shifting and I turned my focus back to my vampire. He was sitting up slowly, watching me intently as he nervously lifted himself. I smiled in encouragement, trying not to show my complete fascination and excitement with his forwardness. He was clearly hesitant and anxious, unsure of whether to proceed, so I moved over a little and patted the bed next to me. He looked to the spot, then back to me, before slowly working himself closer.

We kept eye contact, but from my peripheries I could see his frame shaking. As he inched his way closer to me, I put out my hand, wanting to guide him closer but needing him to do it on his own.

Finally, when my vampire was next to me at the foot of the bed, he curled his body up and laid his head in my lap. I think I could've died from the sheer happiness of the moment, but instead, I brought my hands to his hair and ran my fingers across his scalp, both of our attentions turning back to the window.

The sun was lower in the sky still, the trees just beginning to obscure the bottom of it. As my vampire watched the sunset, I watched him. His dark eyes mirrored the falling sun while the blank expression I had grown so used to began to soften. It wasn't a smile, but it was close.

**

**A/N**: The Vamp was naked for this long for a lot of reasons, they include, but are not limited to:

Would clothing be uncomfortable (if he's been unclothed for so long, would the weight/feel be something he doesn't appreciate?)

How would they get him dressed? (in this chapter bella needed some cooperation from him, so before he fed when he was still completely feral, it'd be near impossible)

Would he remove the clothes? (I tend to think that he would)

Would they hurt his wounds? (Maybe yes, maybe no, but it's something to think about)

Would he even care that he's naked (if he's running on instinct) – this is the biggie – for us, and for the Cullens, it's probably uncomfortable for him to be naked. For him, I think it's the last thing on his mind.

**

Review?


	12. The Bath

**A/N**: Here it is.

Thanks to Jilburfm for beta'ing and being amazing. And OCD for just yannoo… rocking everything.

And to all the reviewers and all the readers and clickers. You guys should still consider visiting the boards, I swear one day I'll do fun stuff like post teasers or something… Alrighty, hopefully this chapter works for ya!

**

The Bath

**Bella POV**

It was almost 7:00 by the time the sun had fully set, but I wasn't yet ready to move.

We sat there for several silent moments, staring into the darkness that now encompassed the house. I absently ran my fingers through his hair and realized that it was still a mess; the sponge bath hadn't been completely effective. I watched his eyes intently for any sign of discomfort, but I found none.

He was beautifully at peace; I never wanted the moment to end.

His eyes closed slowly and he inhaled while he curled himself up tighter. I reached behind me, pulling the blanket to cover him as a small tremor ran through his body. He turned his head in my lap so that we were facing one another and slowly, his eyelids opened.

I traced the lines of his jaw, running my fingers to the bridge of his nose, while carefully avoiding the feeding tube.

We locked gazes, neither of us eager to break it, until my vampire abruptly began to growl.

I turned my head instinctively to the door, trying to keep him as calm as possible while internally having an anxiety attack when Alice finally popped her head into the room.

My heart jumped to my stomach and I let out a choked breath, turning my attention back to my vampire.

"It's okay," I said, still winded and uncomfortable. His growling had eased some but he still trembled as he pulled his knees in tighter. "It's just Alice." I looked back at her as she slowly made her way over to us, her hands up in surrender. With every step toward us that she made, he recoiled further.

"It's 9:30," she said to me, sitting on the far corner of the bed. My vampire kept his eyes trained on hers as he shifted his body to a more defensive position.

I slid back toward the center of the bed, broadening my line of sight so that I could take in everything that was going on.

He was curled in a ball as close to the edge as he could get, the blanket wrapped tightly around him and bunched into his fists. I could see his shoulders shaking as he focused intently on Alice's bewildered expression, his eyebrows knitting together as his eyes darted back and forth between hers.

She was staring at him similarly, her head cocked to one side while her mouth hung slightly agape.

"Alice?" I said, interrupting whatever moment the two were having. She immediately broke their lock and turned toward me.

"It's 9:30," she said, shaking her head.

"So you've said," I answered.

"I guess we should…?" She trailed off, their eyes locking once more. It was sort of unsettling, watching this exchange. His growling had since died down and now only an occasional rumble was audible when the bed shifted. He was still shaking but it didn't seem feared, just out of habit.

"Should what?" I said, growing impatient.

She shook her head again, looking back to me and smiling. "I'll let you say goodbye. We need to get you home," she finished as she hopped off the bed. She quickly left the room, closing the door lightly behind her.

I let out a burst of air and brought myself back to him. He was still watching the door where Alice had just exited, his face full of frustration and confusion.

I looked to the spot that his focus was trained but found nothing.

Turning back to him, I said, "That's Alice."

He finally broke from his trance and looked at me imploringly, his trembling all but gone as I reached out to loosen his fisted fingers.

"She can see the future," I explained, watching him for signs of understanding. He looked back to the door before meeting my eyes again.

"And Jasper – her husband – he can manipulate emotions," I continued, encouraged by his softening features. I knew I didn't have time to explain the whole family dynamic, and I internally cursed Charlie once more for implementing a curfew at the worst possible time.

I sighed and straightened up, moving myself closer to him still. "I have to leave," I said, dejected, wanting nothing more than to curl up next to my vampire for the night. "But I'll be back tomorrow."

I exhaled, falling to my side and supporting my weight on my elbow. I traced the contours of his cheek, savoring the moment that his eyes closed. I started to lift myself but he caught me, his hand wrapped loosely around my wrist.

"I wish I could stay," I whispered, "but if I stay tonight I won't be allowed to come back."

He swallowed hard, opening his eyes to look into mine. Our faces were level as I continued rubbing his cheek and jaw. He pulled back a bit, looking down as he swallowed again.

His mouth opened a bit and he took a deep breath, but he quickly closed it again.

I sat watching him, unsure of how to proceed, as his mouth opened again.

I smiled, biting my bottom lip at the scene unfolding. I knew what he wanted to do, and I internally willed him to give in. But alas, both his mouth and his eyes clamped shut, his shuddering returning softly as he let go of my wrist.

With a grumble, I straightened up and moved from the bed. I walked around to the side that he lay on and leaned against it, bringing my fingers to the back of his neck.

He flinched reflexively, a soft growl radiating from him, but immediately calmed and settled further into the mattress.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said, already longing for our next reunion. I moved slowly to the door, hesitating briefly while our eyes met. I smiled, waiting for a response. His eyes didn't leave mine and the fear and reluctance were clear on his face.

I waved slowly and exited, already beginning to feel the unshed tears welling.

**

**Carlisle POV**

"Dude… that's awesome." Emmett said, his excitement evident in his inability to keep still.

"It's dangerous," Jasper cut in.

"It's unnatural," Rosalie added.

"It's unnerving," I replied.

"It's _awesome_," he repeated. I shook my head at him. When Alice got home and explained her theory on the vampire's ability, my instinct was to panic. Too much power, too much knowledge could work against us, against him, in the long run. We all felt similarly, wondering how this would change things. Wondering what the implications of his trust in Bella were in regards to his mind reading.

If Alice was correct, as she so often was, then there must be something different in Bella's thoughts. It occurred to me that her obvious infatuation with the vampire might be persuading him to allow her near him, and that thought had me reeling.

But on the same token, he had allowed her to approach him early on, before any feelings had developed, so it couldn't be that, could it? Regardless, this changed things.

It explained a lot about his behavior, though. From his uneasiness and inability to trust in what was said to him down to his distinct reactions to certain situations. My mind immediately went to the first feeding when he sprang at Jasper. Mind reading connected the seemingly random puzzle pieces into one big picture, a picture that would require very precise care in the future.

Now, though, as I thought about it, Emmett wasn't all wrong. As an ability, mind reading definitely had its perks. Even Aro, the leader of the Volturi, and effectively the vampire race, might have met his match in this vampire. I wouldn't be able to determine just how powerful he was until I learned the mechanics behind it, but there were endless possibilities. Awesome isn't _exactly_ my choice word, but it captured the sentiment properly.

"What did you see?" I asked her, wanting physical confirmation of his ability.

She shot a meaningful glance toward Jasper then responded, "I saw him answering my thoughts."

"Alice?" I asked, tired of the secrecy between them. She opened her mouth to talk but was interrupted by Esme.

"He… he's going to talk?" she wondered aloud.

Alice smiled brightly, and I wasn't sure if it was in response to Esme's question or merely in being taken off the spot. "Yes," she responded with a nod, watching me closely for my reaction. I walked to the window, looking out over our yard.

"When?" Esme asked.

"It's unclear. It keeps changing. When I left the bedroom earlier I would've told you he'd talk tonight," she said, standing and walking to the piano. "But that obviously didn't happen," she finished with a smile directed at Jasper, tapping the keys lightly in no particular order.

"But _obviously _it eventually _will_," he responded, crossing his arms in indignation and smirking.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "But we all know how horribly wrong I can be." She smiled widely, sitting at the bench and running her fingers lithely along the keys.

"Or how right," he said.

I looked back and forth between the two of them, fueled by frustration and anxiety, I finally asked, "What?"

Everyone looked at Alice, who simply shrugged. "I just… see her getting close to him?"

Jasper snorted and turned his head, not meeting any of our curious looks.

"Alice?"

"I don't know, Carlisle. The future always changes; I don't know anything right now," she replied angrily, the notes picking up in tempo and emotion.

I don't know when this family began hiding things, but I knew it couldn't possibly bode well for anyone. Right as I had decided to force the truth from her, she stood, stalking out of the room.

I sighed, shrugging my shoulders and looking to Jasper. I knew he'd stick with whatever Alice's decision was, but I couldn't help but try.

He exhaled sharply, anxious and unnerved as he stood. He came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, shaking his head, defeated. "I'll talk to her," he whispered before leaving the room.

I moved from the window then, grabbing my bag and heading upstairs. "I'm going to try to feed him," I said to Esme as I passed by.

"Well, _I_ think it's awesome," Emmett grumbled from the corner.

**

I got upstairs and went straight for the bedroom, forcing myself to remain tranquil in my thoughts. If Alice was right, I hoped that I could use his ability to my advantage.

I was now fully stocked on animal blood, wanting to make the switch as clean and easy as possible. I knew if there was any shot of him staying with the family, getting him used to animal blood early would be beneficial. I guess in the back of my mind I also hoped that it would help him resist Bella, should he ever feel the desire to feed again.

I moved quickly into the bedroom, determined to put this new theory to the test.

_I'm not going to hurt you_, I thought. A very small part of me considered how painfully bizarre this whole situation was, refusing to talk but instead thinking the same words that had been repeated to him a thousand times.

I entered the room and moved briskly toward the bed. He was lying on his side in a ball, the blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders as his frame trembled visibly and his growling erupted.

_I… I don't know if you can hear me… Alice seems to think that you might be able to._ His growling eased slightly as he turned his head to look at me. I put some pressure on his shoulder, forcing him onto his back to give me access to the tube.

_I'm going to feed you again_.

I could see the blood flowing through the tube as he pulled his head back a bit and shook violently, but otherwise he remained still. His breathing was heavy and fearful, so I went back to trying to communicate with him.

_We're here to help you. _His eyes locked with mine._ Everything we do… it's to help you_. He took a deep breath, looking straight at me as his trembling faltered. _We'll do everything in our power to keep you safe_. He inhaled, his eyebrows knitting together. I was convinced. _So please… please keep our Bella safe_.

With that, the vampire turned his head to the door. I followed his gaze and was met by nothing, so I put my attention back to feeding him.

Images of Alice's secrecy were passing, wild and uncontainable, through my mind as I thought of Bella's safety. The vampire began recoiling so I pulled back, looking out the open curtains as he fed. I came back to him periodically, making sure that everything was still working properly.

By the end, I had fed him a total of four pints of blood before finally calling it a night and heading back downstairs.

When I got to the living room, Rosalie and Emmett were having a stare-off while Esme eyed me speculatively. I shrugged, not in the mood to deal with anymore drama, and decided to put in a few extra hours at the hospital. I headed for the garage, eager for a break.

**

**Bella POV**

I had slept better tonight than yesterday, knowing that he was strong enough to at least somewhat defend himself.

When I headed downstairs for breakfast, I noticed that the cruiser was still in the driveway. I grumbled, grabbing the cereal and milk before settling in with _The Canterbury Tales_.

As he walked down the stairs, Charlie mumbled his "good morning" and grabbed the juice out of the fridge.

"Not working today?" I asked.

"Heading in a little late this morning," he replied, taking his seat next to me and clearing his throat. I eyed him pensively.

"Why?"

"I figured I'd grab breakfast with you. They'll be alright for a half hour without me," he said.

I nodded, closing my book and discarding it. "What's up, Dad?"

"Have you talked to your mom? She said she's been emailing and calling you but you haven't responded."

I bit back the sarcastic answer that was building as he answered his own question, responding instead with, "No, I haven't."

"She wants you to visit her for your birthday weekend," he said, gauging my reaction.

I coughed, swallowing too quickly for my own good. "I… have plans," I replied, quickly racking my brain for a possible excuse. I didn't _want_ to go to Jacksonville. I couldn't imagine leaving for a whole weekend and enjoying myself at all.

"Is that a fact?" Charlie asked, suspicious. I nodded. "What plans do you have?"

"I'm going to homecoming," I blurted out, my face immediately turning red and my hands shaking on their own volition.

Charlie laughed then, seemingly amused by my reaction to my own plans. "You're going to homecoming," he repeated, letting it sink it. It occurred to me that I could easily take offense to his line of thought, but I knew myself and I knew my father and we both understood the implications of me attending homecoming. "Who's your date?" he asked.

"Uhh," I let out an anxious breath, having no idea who my date was. "I'm going with Alice and Jasper," I answered finally. "And Rose… and… Emmett."

"But," he responded, "who is… _your_… date?"

"I don't have a date, Charlie. They wanted me to go, I'm going. That's it," I said, ready to be done talking about it. He nodded sullenly as I stood, grabbing my backpack and moving toward the door. He followed and walked me to the truck then headed for the cruiser.

School dragged, as it had for the previous week, and by the time it let out I was reduced to nothing more than a bundle of nerves and energy.

Alice and I quickly prepared dinner for Charlie and she put it away while I wrote him the usual note. I was beginning to miss my dinners with Charlie, and I knew I should make some time for him this weekend, assuming he let me spend the nights at the Cullen's.

As we drove to the house, Alice explained her theory of my vampire's ability. I immediately blushed and ran through every thought that I could remember, praying that she was incorrect.

He'd think I was crazy. Maybe I was his entertainment, and that's why he let me near him. I hoped beyond hope that he couldn't read minds, but I knew there was little chance of Alice being wrong.

When I got out of the truck and headed to the porch I was intercepted by a very grumpy Jasper. He looked at Alice angrily, whispering furiously below my range but she just nodded and smiled.

Finally, she turned to me as he stalked back into the house.

"Let's go?" she asked, taking my hand and leading me to the porch. "It'll be fine," she added, so low that I wasn't sure whether or not I was supposed to hear her. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with a mixture of worry and hope, as we entered the living room.

**

I got to the bedroom quickly, making my way over to him and immediately crawling into bed.

He inhaled sharply as his growl quickly dissipated and his eyes opened to me. I made my way over to him and let our fingers tangle together, ignoring his panicked jolt as my other hand contacted his face.

His eyes had become a deep auburn color, his skin was closer now to what I was used to in a vampire. His cheeks had filled more and were to the point that I wouldn't know he was malnourished if I hadn't seen him before. I could tell that he was still thirsty, as his eyes were still relatively dark, but otherwise the signs in his face were gone.

Without thinking, I moved myself closer and pulled the blanket down, exposing his back. He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes and turning his head further into the pillow, while I ran my fingers across his shoulder blades. I let my fingers run the length of his spine, eager to know if his body had shown the same improvement.

I could still feel each disc but barely, the lines of his ribcage were all but invisible to me and his wounds had completely faded. I smiled broadly in spite of myself, knowing that physically, my vampire was okay.

He watched me as I examined his body, reluctant to fully trust me.

As I looked him over, I told him about my day. I explained the calls from Renee, the conversation with Charlie and my inevitable blunder about homecoming. He was fairly calm by the time I laid down next to him, my head propped on one hand while my other arm hovered protectively over his shoulders.

"Alice says you can read minds," I finally said, slowly bringing my fingers to his hair.

His eyes met mine then and he looked at me with a burning intensity that hadn't been there before.

_Can you?_

He remained still, showing no indication of his ability to hear my thoughts. I wondered briefly if it was a defense mechanism, if he was just pretending to be unable to hear my thoughts.

In the end, I decided that it didn't really matter. He trusted me, and if he _could_ read my mind, he must not be too uncomfortable with my thoughts. I blushed at the reminder.

His face softened then, his eyes closing slowly as I put my focus back on my hands.

While I rubbed his back, I wondered how much stronger he actually was. He almost looked to be fully healed, so would have full strength, as well? I figured I might as well put it to the test.

It was in that mindset that I wrapped my fingers tightly around his. He looked at me, confused, and I internally noted that if he _could _read minds, he was beyond comprehending what he was hearing.

"I think we should get you cleaned up," I said, coaxing him into a sitting position. I knew that without his cooperation I wouldn't even be able to budge him, but I didn't have a hard time. We sat side by side on the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around his chest and his shoulders shaking silently.

I put my arms around them, waiting for his muscles to loosen some, hoping that he trusted me enough to let me do this.

When his trembling had eased, I slowly got him onto his feet. He was shaky at first, unused to this position, so I kept my grip on his arms, helping him to steady himself. It didn't take long for him to regain his footing and eventually we stood side by side, ready to proceed.

It was then that I first realized that he towered over me. I didn't like being unable to keep eye contact with him, as it was our only means of communication; I decided to make the trip quick.

I could feel his fingers shaking around mine, so I talked to him as led him away from the bed. I started to tell him about Alice and her visions, but he stopped short.

He was staring out the window, at the river, and together, we walked toward the glass wall. When we were finally close enough, he put his free hand out to the glass, flattening his palm against it. I moved my hand to cover his, wondering what he could be thinking about.

His hands were trembling still as he stared out over the Cullen's land, until finally he broke his stare and looked down at me.

I smiled and squeezed his fingers, continuing to lead him toward the bathroom. As we neared the door his shaking increased, but still he complied with my silent requests.

Inside, I closed the door behind us and turned the water on. He was shaking hard, pressed into the far corner of the room, and together we slid down to the floor.

"It's okay," I said, reaching for his trembling hand. "I won't hurt you." I pulled his arm into my lap and traced his fingers, waiting for him to calm down. Eventually, as his shaking eased, I stood again.

I looked to the bathtub, plugging it quickly then back to my vampire. "I just want to get you cleaned up," I said, taking off my sweater. Slowly, then, I stepped out of my pants and wore nothing but a pair of boy-shorts and my tank top. It occurred to me that I should be embarrassed, to say the least, but I was well beyond that.

I reached my hand out to him, begging him to comply.

Eventually he stood and slowly walked toward me. When he was within reach, I carefully removed the pants that I had given him yesterday, setting them on the counter with my clothing.

Although he was completely naked and I was very nearly in the same position, the whole situation was strangely comfortable. I suppose it had to do with the familiarity, but he didn't seem to be put out at all by his nudity.

I stepped over the ledge, letting my feet adjust to the temperature. I had made it excessively hot, knowing that once he was inside it would quickly cool, so I watched as my feet turned a very light shade of pink.

His body was trembling again as I eased him closer to me. "It won't hurt," I promised, rubbing his hand with my fingers. After several minutes of encouragement, he finally stepped into the tub. He inhaled sharply, growling softly, but stayed in the tub.

We stood there for a few moments, his back facing me, while I let him adjust to the feel of the water. Slowly, I lowered us into the bath.

He pulled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, his head resting on his knees while he silently shook. Slowly, I moved closer to him, my legs on either side of his body, and wrapped my arms around his. I wasn't able to lock my hands around his knees, so I settled for wrapping them around his forearms. My cheek was pressed against his back, his cool skin in distinct contrast to the temperature of the water. After an eternity of sitting with him, his trembling finally eased.

I tried to clean him as quickly as possible while remaining effective, and as I cleaned him, I told him stories about my mother. I explained her eccentricities and fondly remembered some of my favorite adventures with her. I told him all about her bungee jumping excursion and her white water rafting trip, and the bruises and scars that accompanied them. I told my vampire that my mother is my very best friend and I told him how much I missed her.

As I ran my fingers through his hair the muscles in his neck finally loosened, his rigid shoulders visibly relaxing, his breathing slow and deliberate. "Are you alright?" I whispered. I had grown so used the one-sided conversations that I almost completely missed the small nod of his head. He exhaled, laying his head back on his knees.

"You can… understand me?" He didn't respond, but in that moment, I knew it was the truth. I smiled inwardly, silently continuing the bathe him.

I tried to gently ease his head back to rinse the soap from it but was met with a resistance I knew I'd stand no chance against. His body grew rigid. "I won't hurt you," I whispered, prying his fingers from his knees. "Just… trust me?"

He took a shaky breath and allowed me to pull him to me, his head resting in the crook of my arm. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were clenched shut, but I could tell that he was slowly calming. I reached for the empty cup on the counter, my movements only slightly startling him. As I poured the water over his hair, he allowed more of his weight to fall on me, his face growing calm again. "It's not so bad," I said as I finished with his hair.

When I was satisfied, I helped him back into an upright position. I had already cleaned him, but I wanted to prolong these moments, unsure of whether I would get more of them anytime soon. Eventually, though, my muscles demanded that the bath end.

I moved to stand and stretched myself to grab the towel from the rack. I put it around his shoulders and helped him to his feet, as he began lightly shaking. I was shivering, eager to be out of my wet clothes and into the bed, so I quickly rubbed the towel over him, trying to dry him as much as possible before clothing him again. He was still trembling silently, so I reached behind me and grabbed the pants, helping him back into them. I draped the towel over his shoulders and opened the bathroom door, leading him back to the bed before returning to the bathroom to change.

I dressed quickly and headed back to the bed, back to my vampire, while he slowly calmed himself down.

We lay in bed for several hours while I told him more about my life. I spent this time talking about Charlie, about the divorce and never seeing him, about our two week vacations to California every summer. Knowing he could understand me made me more inclined to make the conversation meaningful, but there were times throughout the night that I doubted if I had actually seen him nod. He didn't respond to anything else during my monologue, but we kept our eyes locked, our fingers intertwined.

Too soon, my vampire began softly growling and I knew the night was coming to an end. Alice peeked her head in briefly to tell me it was 9:30 and then left, allowing me a few more minutes to say goodnight.

I sat up and his fingers tightened around mine.

"I have to go home," I whispered.

He turned his head slowly, swallowing visibly. He closed his eyes and took a few shaky breaths, opening his mouth. It was exactly like it had been last night, and I knew better than to get my hopes up. Still, though, I waited silently, begging him to find the strength to do it.

He closed his mouth and swallowed again, letting out a shaky breath and loosening his grip on my arm. I nodded, moving myself slowly off the bed, stalling in my effort to give him more time. By the time my feet hit the floor I had accepted the fact that he wouldn't talk to me; not tonight. So I quickly made my way over to his side of the bed and sat on the sliver of mattress that was left exposed.

I ran my fingers through his hair as he turned his head toward me. I smiled sadly, letting the back of my hand graze his cheek before moving to stand.

He swallowed again, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes. His mouth opened slightly and I could see his lips trembling. His whole body was beginning to shake, so I began rubbing his arms, trying to offer him some comfort.

So softly that I wasn't sure if it was really happening, my vampire whispered, "Don't leave me?" My eyes snapped up to meet his, the tears immediately spilling over. His words were so weak and scared, questioning rather than requesting.

His voice was pained and scratchy, unused for so long. Immediately, I fell to my knees so we were eye level and I lay my head on the mattress. He was trembling and his eyes were full of pain and fear, which made the tears fall faster.

"I'll never leave you," I whispered, trying desperately to reaffirm my words. "I'll be back tomorrow, as soon as I get out of class," I told him. Slowly, he raised his hand. He kept his eyes locked on mine as his hand slowly moved toward my face. I wasn't afraid or nervous; I eagerly awaited the moment our skin made contact.

After an eternity, my vampire's hand met my cheek and wiped away the remaining tears on my face. It lingered there for a minute before I raised my own hand to cover his. We were both shaking, my breaths coming hard as I battled over whether or not to ignore my curfew, just for this night. Could I leave him again? I had to, I knew this.

"I'll be back," I promised once more, releasing his hand and moving it back to the bed. The look on his face brought on a fresh round of tears, but I knew I needed to leave. So I slowly raised myself from the floor and headed for the door.

**

**A/N**: Review if you're happy the vamp is getting better! Maybe soon we'll find out his name! 

Or… review if you're sad that the vamp is getting better…?

Yanno.. just review in general. It makes it all worth it.


	13. The Balcony

**A/N**: Epic thank you's to jilburfm for being a supertastic beta and soundboard; and to OCD_Indeed because she's wonderful and validates so astonishingly quickly!

And, I think the most common question from the reviews was about bloodlust/feeding tubes, so real quick:

The way conditioning would work is that it's not like he doesn't WANT to drink (well, he doesn't, but even if he DID want to drink) he just wouldn't be able to, physically. He has an actual aversion to blood itself, not the means of acquiring it.

Twilight & Co. belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**

The Balcony

**BPOV**

I couldn't get his voice out of my head. As hard as I tried to pay attention throughout the day, those three words resonated constantly, overshadowing all other thoughts.

Twice I had been called on, only to be caught off guard and unprepared. I needed to focus, and my vampire made that no easy feat.

The days seemed like they were perpetually getting longer, the hours that I was forced to spend away from him becoming more and more agonizing as time wore on.

He had asked me not to leave. He had looked me straight in the eye and begged me, and I stood up and walked away from him. He had reached out to me, as I had been waiting so long for him to do, and I had turned my back on him.

My heart pounded in my chest, self hatred and bitterness running through my veins.

_I should have stayed._

I should have. Over the week, I had become more and more aware that trust was not something he was accustomed to. I knew what it meant for him to nod his head in the bathtub, for him to allow himself to relax. I realized the implications of his grip on my arm tightening when I went to leave. And above all, I implicitly understood how incredibly difficult it was for him to break down his barriers and speak to me.

_And I walked away._

My day went on in a similar fashion, as I ignored every attempt made by my friends and teachers to pull me from my lull. They had all caught on to my behavior change over the past week, but, for the most part were able to keep their concerns unvoiced. Until today.

"Bella?" Angela asked, gesturing to the seat next to hers. Alice looked at me sympathetically before turning her focus back to Ben.

"What's up?" I managed to force out, letting my focus fall on the scene around me.

"Is everything alright?" She kept her voice low, low enough that attention normally wouldn't be drawn, but Mike had been listening intently. I saw his body stiffen, a sure sign of his eavesdropping.

"Everything's fine," I mumbled.

"Alice said you're coming to homecoming?" she asked, looking at Mike quickly then back to me.

I blushed, the crack in the laminate on the table suddenly very appealing. "I… uh…"

Ben gaped. "I guess so," I grumbled.

"Who's your date?" Mike abruptly asked. Impossibly, my face grew redder.

"I'm…" I straightened my shoulders and looked straight ahead. "I'm going by myself."

"Did you… want a date?" Mike asked. I had no idea how to respond. Logic and experience told me to scream "no" at the top of my lungs, but did I want a date? _Yes_. But did I want a date with _Newton?_

"I think I'm…" I closed my eyes, eager for this conversation to be over. "I'm just going by myself this time."

Mike looked down and I immediately regretted my decision. _Why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I just go with Mike?_

"Well," he finally said. "I'm going by myself, too, so, save me a dance?"

I nodded, relishing in the bell as it released me from my purgatory. I abruptly stood and stalked out of the cafeteria, eager for school to end.

**

**Alice POV**

I dropped Bella off at her house but couldn't stay today; I had loose ends to tie up at home. I had no qualms about hiding my visions, but Jasper had been giving me crap about it all week, so I figured coming clean was for the best.

I could see the impending conversation and dreaded it. It would make things so much more difficult for Bella. I could also see that she would be persistent enough, and that, inevitably, every vampire in the world could not keep the two apart. I smiled sadly, watching the trees fly.

_There are worse things that could happen_.

I sighed and looked to Jasper. He looked miserable. Now, not only was he dealing with the vampire's fear, the family's anxiety, Rosalie's protectiveness and Bella's infatuation, but he was dealing with my angst, as well.

We had talked about my visions and his emotions in depth over the past few days and were decidedly at an impasse. The only course of action we could think of was to inform the family and try to be supportive. I was only getting glimpses into the, hopefully, very distant future, so I wasn't entirely sure as to the cause of them. Brief flashes of what was to come continued to plague my mind at random, but there was no way of knowing just _how _the future came to be; the specifics were blurry.

Although it couldn't have been coincidence that the first vision came the night that the vampire's future had cleared up. We both had our suspicions of the culprit.

We pulled into the driveway and the visions of this conversation began coming like wildfire. Apparently, between Jasper and I, we changed our minds and the resulting outcome repeatedly in those few minutes. I sat in the car, trying to get myself under control; I hated doing this to Bella.

When I was finally able to walk without being pummeled by the future, I exited the car. We made our way slowly to the house, each of us lost in our own thoughts of what the future may bring.

**

**Bella POV**

It took longer tonight, preparing dinner and catching up on the things that I needed to do around the house. Usually Alice was here to help me, but tonight she had errands. _Errands_. _Liar._

I wasn't completely finished until almost 4:30, and by that time it just made sense to wait for Charlie.

I sat at the kitchen table and pulled out my math homework, but was still unable to push that voice from my mind._ Don't leave me_. I sighed, closing my eyes and laying my head on the table.

Charlie came in several minutes later, pulling off his jacket and holster and replacing them to their designated hook.

"Bella!" he called, walking into the kitchen. "Not spending the evening with the Cullens?" He sat down in the chair next to mine and opened the newspaper.

"I am," I said, slowly raising my head. "I was actually wondering if it'd be alright if I spent the weekend there?"

He looked up from the paper, eyeing me quizzically. "Mmm," he mumbled and ran his fingers across over his jaw. "I don't know, Bella."

I was suddenly infuriated, preparing myself for a fight. I harnessed my inner teenager for the moment though, opting to gauge his resolve first.

"Dad –" I began, but he interrupted me.

"I'll have to talk to Dr. Cullen about it, okay?" he asked. It seemed reasonable enough. I let it drop for the moment and stood.

"You're leaving?" Charlie asked abruptly.

I nodded and walked to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Dinner at six, okay, Bells? And I'll talk to Dr. Cullen about the weekend."

**

I arrived at the mansion in the midst of some sort of Cullen intervention. I couldn't understand any of the words that were being passed, but the looks on their faces were enough to make me wary. It wasn't for several seconds that anyone even bothered to greet me.

Alice and Emmett were standing, side by side, calm and united. Jasper stood by them looking frustrated, not really joining in the exchange at all.

Rose looked smug. Carlisle looked mortified.

Before I had a chance to take in Esme's appearance, she was at my side, pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back, curious and reluctant at the same time. Something told me this argument was going to hit close to home.

"Welcome back, Bella," she said, releasing me and taking her post next to Carlisle. His eyes met mine and, for the briefest moment, I saw the inner turmoil of the one person I could always count on to be confident. His eyes were full of anguish and confusion, despair. Despondence.

Before I could make anything of it Emmett bound over to me, pulling me into a bear hug. When he finally let me go I stumbled backward, eyeing the family speculatively. "What's going on?" I asked.

No hint at subtlety was made as the furious whispers between Alice and Carlisle reemerged for the world to see.

"Guys?" I asked. Esme squeezed my hand while Emmett shook his head. The three of us stood stoically, watching the argument. I knew _they_ could understand, but to me it was just infuriated whispers. Finally, Carlisle put up his hands in defeat, looking to me once again.

"_Please_ be careful, Bella," he said before exiting the room.

I took a deep breath and sat down, flanked by Emmett and Alice on either side.

"What was all that about?" I asked.

No one seemed overly excited to answer my question, but Alice finally spoke up.

"Carlisle just doesn't see things the way I do," she began. "As long as you're careful, though, it'll be fine. Don't worry."

I tried to stealthily check the time, as I didn't want to waste any more of the night, but before I could look Alice stood, pulling me up with her.

"Just go," she said, rolling her eyes and pushing me toward the steps. I laughed, but was grateful for the out.

I saw Rosalie glaring at me from across the room, her arms crossed over her chest and her face set in her regular scowl.

"Is this really a good idea?" she grumbled, loud enough for me to hear. I knew at this point that I would never overhear something I wasn't meant to in this house, but I couldn't quite figure out her motives.

Alice shot her a death glare and I chuckled, shrugging and walking up the stairs. I looked over my shoulder when I was just out of sight and saw that the hushed argument had begun again.

**

I couldn't help the smile that overtook my face when I walked into the guestroom. He lay on his stomach facing the window, his back rising and falling with his shallow breaths.

I walked to his side of the bed and sat on the edge, finding his hand under the blanket. His eyes were very light; the color I had grown used to on a well-fed vampire. His once-hollow cheeks were completely full now, his lips and skin exactly as they should be. The feeding tube had been removed, and his face no longer held any outward signs of his abuse.

When I touched his face he recoiled but quickly recovered. "Hey," I said, bringing myself further onto the bed and hugging my knees with my free arm. I waited longer than normal for a response, knowing that he was capable of one. But none came.

"I talked to Charlie today," I began, and then explained the details of our conversation; that, as long as his conversation with Carlisle went okay, I'd be able to spend the weekend at the mansion. When I had finished talking about my day, I looked to him again, waiting.

"You can trust me," I finally whispered, bringing my hand from my knees to cover our already entwined fingers. "I'm not going to hurt you – you know that, right?"

He took a deep breath and nodded, closing his eyes and exhaling. His breaths were coming shakily now, at random intervals; I knew that he was beginning to panic.

"You don't have to talk," I said quickly, trying to salvage his calmer disposition. "Not until you're ready to."

After several minutes of silence, I opened my mouth to speak.

"What –" he said softly, his voice breaking on that one little word. I looked down at him and stroked his cheek, encouraging him to continue. "What's it like?" he finally said, his sad eyes meeting mine. His hand was trembling underneath my own and I squeezed it tightly.

I debated for a while over whether or not to just start rambling. I really had no idea what he was asking, but he was prompting me to talk, and I was failing him. "What's what like?" I eventually asked.

He cast his eyes downward, not meeting my questioning stare, and pushed himself up on his hands. As he pulled his body upright, I scooted further back on the bed to sit next to him. The blanket was draped tightly around his shoulders but I could see the violent shuddering as he adjusted to this position.

Finally, as we sat side by side on the bed, our knees pulled tightly to our chests and our hands interlocked between us, he met my gaze.

For a long time, no words were spoken between us. We just sat there watching one another with no sounds other than that of our breaths. I knew I hadn't answered his question, but in this moment he didn't seem to care. There would be time to answer his questions in the future.

"What's your name?" I finally asked, bringing the back of my hand to his neck. He closed his eyes and let his muscles relax some.

I smiled, wondering if he really could read my mind. I don't know how my ogling hadn't scared him off yet. As the sun set behind us, I noticed how stunningly gorgeous he was. I tried to force the thoughts out of my head, at least until I knew that he couldn't hear them, but my mind kept going back there. He either didn't mind or didn't notice, he just kept his eyes closed while I stroked his face.

"I tried horseback riding once when I was nine," I blurted out, wanting to break the silence. His eyes snapped open and his features softened as he rested his cheek on his knee, his face turned to me. I laid out my right arm and rolled up my sleeve, showing him the small scar on my wrist from that fall. "I fell off and got a concussion," I said, blushing mildly at the memory. It was only a trail ride, which had to be cut short and refunded at my clumsiness. "And I broke my arm," I explained, pointing to the scar. I started to tell him about all of my hospital visits, remembering all of the accidents that I could. Really, there were too many scars and broken bones to remember _each_ incident, but it was something to talk about. Something to ease his mind.

He appeared to be listening intently as I told my tales so I continued with confidence, occasionally glancing out the window to watch the sun drop further on the horizon.

Finally, when I could remember no more childhood mishaps, I repeated, "What's your name?"

He swallowed loudly and closed his eyes, his body tightening as he tried to calm himself. "My name's Bella," I said, remembering that I hadn't told him since before he had eaten.

He looked up at me and smiled sadly, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "Edward," he whispered, his eyebrows knitting together. _Edward. _I lifted the hand that was on his neck to his cheek and he flinched sharply, his whole body jolting at my touch.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I said, persisting. He calmed down when my fingers made contact again, closing his eyes and curling even tighter. He looked to the window, as he had done countless times over the course of the evening.

I decided then that, whether this was a bad idea or a good idea, it was time to try. I pulled away slowly, finally reaching the floor, and put my hand out to him.

"Come on," I said, nodding my head toward the window. He looked back and forth between the window and me before slowly loosening his grip on his legs and moving to the end of the bed. He was trembling visibly but still cooperative, so I took that as my incentive to continue. I held his hand and we walked to the door, but when we reached it, he hesitated. I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to lead him if he didn't want to follow, so I stopped and turned to him.

"It's okay," I said, gesturing to the door. "I promise no one will hurt you."

He was slowly pulling away from me, away from the door that only led to the hallway, so I opened it and stepped out.

"Come on," I repeated, slowly reaching for his hand again. He took a shaky breath and let our hands meet again but stayed still. "Ed…ward…?" I asked, unsure of how he'd take to my casual use of his name. His eyes snapped up and met mine, confusion and relief washing over his features. "It's okay," I said again, pulling him toward me.

He followed this time, slowly stepping out of the room and into the hallway. I knew this would take time, getting him all the way to the study, so I tried to remain patient. His whole body was trembling, rocking my arm in the process, as he looked around himself.

Finally he made last step, leaving the bedroom behind him.

We walked slowly toward the study and, although his shaking never let up, he was hesitating less as we moved forward. When we reached the door, I knocked, wondering if this was actually a horrible idea. If Carlisle was in there, things could go wrong very quickly.

No one answered, though, so I slowly pushed the door open and peeked into the room. It was empty. I let out of a sigh of relief and smiled at my vampire, guiding him into the room.

As we walked past the pictures and toward the doors that led outside, I gave him a quick rundown the Cullen history.

I told him about Carlisle and his time spent with the Volturi, and that he had left them in search of a more agreeable lifestyle. I explained that the Cullens didn't eat humans like most vampires did, and told him the story that had been told to me last spring, about the years Carlisle spent starving himself before finally trying to eat an animal. I explained to him the family dynamic, and how they all came together.

I told him that Carlisle didn't change people if they were healthy, that he only saved people and that he was the most amazing man I knew.

As we passed the photographs we hesitated, admiring the history of this family. I pointed out the pictures of each vampire that I recognized and tried to tell him about them.

He didn't talk, but he looked intently at the images, squeezing my hand occasionally, letting me know that he was still with me.

When we finally reached the balcony I let go of his hands, pulling the big French doors open. He took a deep breath, the cool fall air immediately assaulting us, and was suddenly trembling again.

We stood in the doorway for a long time, unmoving, as the fresh air swept over us.

Finally, though, my vampire stepped outside before me. He put both of his hands on the large railing that surrounded the balcony and looked out over the Cullens' land. I walked to him, closing the door behind me and taking my position next to him. I laid my hand on top of his on the railing and together, we watched the tranquility of the forest.

"How long has it been since you've been free?" I asked, looking up to him. He kept his focus trained on our surroundings, breathing deep, thoughtful breaths as the weight of this experience crashed down on us. He was free and he was safe, and he had the world at his feet. He could do anything and there was absolutely nothing keeping him here. As I started dwelling on the fact that he'd soon leave me, he flipped the hand that was underneath mine over and clutched my fingers.

"I don't know," he finally said, his eyes closing as he inhaled deeply. "I don't remember."

I let this sink in, knowing the implications of this sentence. Vampires remembered _everything _from their vampire life. I had been told this countless times. "Do you remember anything…" I began, unsure of how to voice what I was thinking. "…about your life, before you went to the…" images of the wristband flashed before my eyes "…place?" I finished lamely.

He looked at me and shook his head sadly, his eyes filled with desolation. I wanted to ask him a thousand more questions, but I knew he wasn't ready to answer them. He was afraid still, and I needed to give him time.

We stood side by side on the balcony and listened as the crickets began to chirp. Occasionally my vampire would flinch at something, but I couldn't hear or feel whatever was startling him.

When the sky was pitch black and the cool air was causing shivers to run down my spine, I knew we would need to go inside soon. I looked up at him and nodded in the direction of the doors. He turned his head to look and offered a sad smile, putting his attention back on the woods.

"I remember… the last night," he finally whispered, so low that I could barely hear him. I moved closer, tightening my fingers around his while he gathered whatever strength he had.

"Everyday," he continued softly, his voice shaking in tandem with his body. "I thought… thought about… that night," he exhaled slowly, taking deep, calming breaths. "And when the rest of the memories were… gone," he whispered, "that night… was all I had left."

I could feel the tears coming to my eyes as his face took on a pained expression. I was sure he was remembering, remembering whatever he could.

He opened his eyes and looked down at me, begging me. I couldn't stop myself from pulling him into a hug. It was real, and it was intimate, and it was scary, but I felt home. I wrapped my fingers around his bare waist as his arms encircled my shoulders, his chest shaking with broken breaths that would be sobs to any human. He laid his cheek on my head as I laid my head on his chest. His trembling was severe and desperate, and it only made me hold him tighter. As we stood there, wrapped around one another, he continued his story.

"My parents had both died -- the influenza," he stuttered, his arms tightening around me. It wasn't the same as Emmett's hugs; there was no playfulness here, no lightness. "I knew I would die, too," he breathed, his shaking growing less panicked as we remained entwined.

"I tried to stay awake… as long as I could…"

I tightened my arms again, showing him whatever support I could. "I knew… that once I fell asleep…" he choked out, "I wouldn't wake up."

The tears were pouring down my cheeks now as I considered his last human memories. Somewhere, deep down inside of me, I knew that those were his last memories of freedom, but on the surface, just for one minute, I allowed myself to hope.

"But I woke up," he finally said, loosening his grip on me. I pulled away to look at his face, to make sure my vampire was okay. "I woke up in a cage."

******

**A/N**: I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the review response last chapter, guys. Like literally, ASTOUNDED. You guys are all so awesome and amazing and I love hearing how you're feeling about it! Last chapter brought out a lot of lurkers, I hope you all continue to leave me feedback!

So the vamp is Edward. Review if you're surprised! Or review if you're not surprised! (I do understand that very few are surprised, no worries ;))


	14. The Weekend

**A/N: Mammoth-sized thank you's to jilburfm for her mad beta skillz and OCD_Indeed because she's wonderful.**

**Special one this time to jeesiechreesie – she helped me work through some things in the wee hours!**

**And uh.. feathers_mmmm and ginnyw for rec'cing this fic (and to all the stealthy rec's that I'm unaware of, as always).**

**Reviews! Loved them, unfortunately couldn't respond to them all, but I LOVED them! So.. here:**

******

The Weekend

**Bella POV**

I stared at him, rendered speechless at his admission. I wasn't sure what I could say, if there was anything to say, to make this better for him. He turned his focus back to the woods as I stood there, unable to move, barely able to breath. Through my tears I could see his hands shaking on the banister as his eyes remained fixed on the river.

I reached a tentative hand to his back. I trailed my fingers slowly up and down the curvature of his spine, doing everything in my power to keep _my_ shivers at bay.

He turned his head and looked down at me, once again wearing the blank expression I had grown so used to over the past weeks. I had just begun to get my sobs under control but his face brought on a whole new round. I smiled through my tears, gradually brought my hand to his face, and watched in absolute astonishment as he slowly lifted his hand to cover mine.

I felt like I would run out of tears before I could get them at bay, but his gesture was the snapping point. Sobs shook my entire body as I tried to hold my hand completely still under his. He watched my eyes carefully and quietly brought his other hand to my face.

It was the most intimate moment I'd ever experienced, and I hated that I had to break it with words.

"How long… were you there?" I finally asked, my chin trembling as I spoke. He smiled sadly and looked back to the woods, dropping his fingers from my cheek. It wasn't a total loss, though, as his other hand remained wholly on top of mine. I knew that he wouldn't answer; that he was done talking in that moment.

I wasn't sure if my trembling was the result of my feelings or the weather, but as the night grew later, the air grew cooler.

Reluctantly, I removed my hand from his face, flipping it over to grip his in the process, and waited for his acknowledgment.

When he finally turned to me, I gestured toward the door, taking the first step in that direction.

He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath as I squeezed his hand tighter, making no move to rush him.

Eventually his eyes opened and, together, we walked back into the house.

I looked to the clock on Carlisle's desk; almost nine. We had spent longer than I realized outside, and we didn't have much time left. When I looked back to my vampire I saw him eyeing the bookshelf quizzically.

We made our way toward the collection of shelves that encompassed the north wall of the room. I ran my free hand across the spines, relishing in the musky scent of the old books. For this reason, I loved this room.

He watched me intently while I continued inspecting the shelves, looking for something that might interest him. I pulled out _Dracula_ and opened it, savoring the scent as it hit my nose. He took a tentative step toward me, his head cocked to the side, and slowly reached out his hand. I was prepared for his touch again, so I was surprised when his hand moved beyond my face and to the bookshelf next to me. Hesitantly, he fingered the spine of one of one of the oldest leather bound books on the shelf.

The corners of his lips turned into a very small smile, and the sadness that usually accompanied his expression was lost. He looked…_ hopeful._ He moved his hand along to the next book, touching it briefly before continuing. He was taking deep breaths, enjoying the new scents as they presented themselves.

I clutched the book to my chest and stepped back to watch his exploration. I would stand here all night if it meant getting to witness this.

He walked slowly along the bookshelf, his hands trembling slightly as he examined each spine. He wasn't pulling anything out, but he was pausing constantly.

When he neared the section of classics that I so often frequented, I stepped toward him. I pulled out _Wuthering Heights_ and handed it to him, placing the spine in his open palm. I lifted the cover and flipped through the pages, explaining the plot to him as I went. I read my favorite excerpts aloud as I thumbed through the well-worn book, before finally coming to the last pages.

I closed it sadly and looked up at my vampire, who wore an expression of confusion and curiosity. I put the book back on the shelf and checked the time. It was almost nine-thirty; Alice would be coming soon.

We left the study and made our way back to my room. The trip wasn't as frightening to him, although he was still trembling lightly and occasionally flinched.

We walked in silence, save for the occasional growl that emanated from him.

When we finally reached our destination, I led him to the bed and pulled back the blankets. He looked at me imploringly before slowly sitting down and immediately wrapped the blanket tightly around his shoulders.

I took my place next to him and discarded the book to the nightstand. Side by side we sat, as I rubbed his back through the blanket, telling him about my favorite classics.

"I have to go home," I finally whispered as I brought my hand to his lap. His fingers were still tightly clutching the comforter so instead, I grazed his face again.

"I'll be back tomorrow, after dinner," I explained as I stood and walked to the door. "Goodnight." I waited briefly for a response before turning to leave. When I was met with none, I quietly opened the door and stepped through.

"Goodnight," he whispered, so low that I almost missed it. I walked out of the house smiling, despite all the tears of the night.

**

**Alice POV**

After Bella left, Jasper and I decided to get away for a bit. Although we agreed that things seemed somewhat better, the constant fear that Jasper was still subjected to wasn't easy.

We ran for miles, going nowhere in particular, simply clearing our heads and finally being alone in our thoughts. The realization of his mind reading hadn't been easy on any of us, and to finally be able to safely consider the future without the intrusion was refreshing. We still weren't sure how his ability worked, but I could tell that, at least within a few feet, the vampire was capable of deciphering our every thought. It made each of us more conscious of every action, of our every idea.

After several hours of mindless running, Jasper finally stopped. He leaned against a nearby tree and slid to the ground, holding out his arms for me follow. I sat down with him, immediately put at ease.

"Has it cleared up at all?" he finally asked. I sighed, exasperated. They had all been hounding me non-stop about Bella's future, and in truth, it was so obscure that I couldn't tell them more than they already knew. For the most part, everyone had accepted the news warily but open-minded. Emmett had been excited, Esme and Jasper reserved, Carlisle infuriated and Rose indifferent. _Rose_, I scoffed. She was taking the jealousy thing to a new level, even for her.

"No," I said decisively, bringing myself back to the present. Fortunately, the more pressing of the two visions had disappeared.

There was still the matter of the other vision, but I couldn't see a way of changing a future that was so unclear to begin with. Of all people, I understood that my visions were subjective, that any number of things could throw Bella off of her course and lead her to an entirely different outcome. I anticipated knowing before anything was actually done to change things, so as far as I was concerned, until things progressed further, Bella was probably safe.

Of course, I still couldn't actually see the steps that Bella would take, but I knew where her current path led. I looked again.

_Bella and I stand side by side, our arms wrapped tightly around one another. Her eyes are red, her skin pale._

**

When we got back to the house I knew there was one more issue that needed dealt with. I found Carlisle and Emmett at the chess table, both concentrating intently on the pieces.

"Checkmate," Emmett finally said, elated with his triumph. I smirked at Carlisle, who shrugged nonchalantly.

"You need to talk to Charlie tonight," I began. He stood and straightened his shirt, walking to the window.

"I can't allow this, Alice."

"You can't control her," I argued.

"Someone needs to. We can't let her get in so deeply. We can't allow him to do this to her."

"We don't even know it's him. And we don't know how it happens, and… what if she _chooses_ it?"

"What if she doesn't," he countered softly. His eyes met mine for an instant and I saw all of his concern, all of his love for Bella. "What if she goes up there tonight and he decides he's hungry, Alice? Are you willing to take responsibility for that happening to Bella?"

"I'd see it if it were tonight," I responded, knowing that this was a losing battle.

"We both know that's not entirely true."

"Look," Emmett finally cut in. "Bella's a big girl. She can make her own decisions; it's not our place –"

"_Someone_ has to protect her –"

I cut in again, fueled by a vision of winning this one. "We don't _know_ it's him, Carlisle. I will see beforehand if anything happens, but so far, he's shown _no_ signs of aggression toward her. If he was going to hurt her, he'd have done so. It's not like he hasn't been given the chance." Carlisle made to interrupt but I continued, undeterred by his expression, "He'll be fine... besides, the only time he's not completely consumed by his fear is when she's with him. Of course you can't take that away from him, can you?"

_Checkmate._

I walked quickly back to my bedroom, eager to prepare for the weekend.

**

**Bella POV**

I packed a bag hurriedly, eager to start the weekend. Dinner had gone by uneventfully; neither Charlie nor I felt the need to fill gaps of silence as a general rule, so few words had been exchanged. I knew this dinner was necessary, though, so I didn't complain.

After we ate, Charlie called Carlisle to 'okay' the weekend trip. I only heard Charlie's part, but it didn't sound like either of them were putting up much of a fight. For a moment yesterday I had thought that it would be more complicated, but Charlie's end of the conversation turned out to be relatively reasonable.

As I bolted from the house I said my goodbyes, rushing to the car and making an honest effort not to push my truck faster than it was willing to go.

When I got to the Cullen's house I dropped my bags in the foyer and made my way to the living room to greet the family.

"Hey, Bella!" Emmett said, glancing at me quickly before turning his attention back to a video game that he and Rosalie were engaged in. "Glad we have you for the weekend!"

I walked to them and feigned interest as Emmett showed me how to play. He proceeded to hand me the controller and I immediately died. It wasn't entirely accidental.

I handed it back to him and grabbed my bag, making my way quickly up the staircase to my bedroom.

When I got there, Edward was curled on his side, facing the window. The blanket was still wrapped tightly around his shoulders, the book in the exact same place I had left it. I wasn't sure if he had touched it or not, but from what I could tell, it hadn't moved. I took off my shoes and climbed into the bed. He growled lightly as he inhaled, quickly calming. Slowly, I moved to lay behind him. I draped my arm over his and propped myself on my elbow so that I could see what he was seeing.

It was already dark out, so I wasn't sure what we were looking at, but for several minutes he kept his focus on the window.

Eventually he turned his head to look at me, rolling his entire body over in the process. I lifted my arm to give him space as he shifted, and when he finally rest facing me, I let my hand graze to his cheek. His eyes closed and he inhaled, holding the air there for several minutes. When he finally exhaled the corners of lips turned up slightly and he opened his eyes.

"Hey," I whispered, trailing my fingers across his jaw. He smiled and lifted his hand to my face, mimicking the movements of my own fingers. I flipped mine over and lightly brushed it across his forehead. He did the same. After what seemed like hours of this, I slowly moved down his arm, our hands eventually meeting at my face.

Impulsively, I guided his fingers to my lips. I turned my head into his touch and placed the smallest, softest kiss on his palm. My heart skipped a beat at the contact; my lips trembling slightly as he instinctually recoiled. He pulled his hand back to his chest protectively, but his expression wasn't one of utter agony. He was shaking a little harder now, but I couldn't quite bring myself to regret the decision. I had _kissed_ him. And he wasn't running.

"It's okay," I whispered as I reached out to his hand again. He pulled back a bit but opened his hand to mine, allowing our fingers to weave together. "I'm not going to hurt you…"

He looked up to me sadly; his face a picture of nervousness and desolation, and nodded slightly, casting his eyes downward. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered.

I squeezed his hand tightly, feeling absolutely horrible that my vampire thought he had something to apologize for. "Edward," I said softly, lifting his chin so that I could see his eyes.

"You don't have any reason to be sorry," I mumbled, running my hand through his hair.

Slowly, he raised his shaking hand back to my face. I could feel tears welling in my eyes as his trembling fingers came closer to me, but I did everything I could to remain completely still. I needed to not scare him again.

When the tips of his fingers met my cheek, I let my head roll into his hand to increase the contact. I felt his body jolt but otherwise he remained stoic, allowing himself to get used to the feel. I smiled and bit my lip, but continued to stay as motionless as possible. I didn't want to talk or move, I didn't want to ruin the moment, but my hands acted on their own accord and traveled to his neck. I grazed whatever skin that I could reach lightly, his body reacting in turn.

"You're safe now," I finally said, drawing both of his hands into mine. "The Cullens won't let anything happen to you," I began. He looked at me intently as I rubbed his cool hands between mine. "They're not the bad guys, you know. They would never let anything happen to you."

He swallowed visibly and opened his mouth. I knew he was preparing himself to talk, so I just waited, warming his hands with my own.

"You're not… like them," he finally said.

"Nope," I answered, unsure of what he meant. "They're vampires." I hated pointing out the obvious, but in the back of my mind, I wondered how much he actually knew about his own nature. "Like… you. And I'm human…" I wasn't positive if this was all painfully evident to the point of sounding condescending, but he didn't seem upset by my words, so I continued.

"I'm not supposed to know about them. Most people don't know vampires even exist," I explained. I thought back to last spring, before I knew they existed. "I always knew something was different about them. From the minute I stepped into the cafeteria my first day." I paused, remembering.

"Their eyes – they changed colors. And their skin, it's so pale. And you're all so beautiful –" I recalled that day in the cafeteria, and in the biology lab afterward. I had had a sinking suspicion during those few hours that something wasn't right with the strange, isolated family, unrelated by blood but all so similar. "But I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

"Then during spring break, I was shopping with some friends and we got separated. I didn't know what was happening until later, but a man, a beautiful man, asked me if I needed help finding them. I didn't, but he told me he'd walk with me anyway," I considered James, not for the first time over the past week. _How different my life would be._

I didn't _regret_ Alice saving me, but I could admit now that it wouldn't have been the worst outcome in the world.

I looked back to my vampire, who was watching intently as I retold my story. "He told me it wouldn't hurt for long, that 'once it was over, I would thank him.' He had his hand over my mouth, and as much as I tried to scream, as much as I tried to run, it was obvious that he was far too strong for me. He was _amazingly_ strong. Even in my panic I noticed that no one should have the kind of strength this man had.

"But there was someone who had it, and it was the 5 foot nothing girl I met in biology. She crashed into him, immediately snapping his neck. I thought to scream, but I was too shocked by the display in front of me. Instead, I hid myself in the shadows, watching in horror as the man straightened his broken bones.

"The fight lasted for several minutes, until two others came. Jasper and Carlisle. They ripped James apart -- tore off his limbs. I could see his fingers twitching on the ground near me, but I still couldn't move. Until I felt a cool hand on my shoulder," I remembered with a smile, "then I ran.

"But I didn't get far. Esme only had to reach out and grab my wrist, pulling me back into the shadows. She told me to wait, and that when it was safe I could go to the hospital. But I was watching… as they pulled the remaining parts from his body – watching as his unattached legs twitched and fought against nothing, until the fight was over.

"They put his body in a pile before me and lit it on fire, and it was then that I screamed. I screamed long and loudly, becoming completely unaware of everything around me… until I woke up in this mansion. Carlisle was there, acting first as a doctor, then as a concerned onlooker. The murderer I had witnessed made no appearances. Emmett was also there. To this day, I remember the amusement plain as day on his face. But I was horrified, thinking I was next and unsure as to what exactly they _were._

"He asked me several questions, what I remembered, how I was feeling, if I could see straight. I thought that perhaps I should lie and tell him I didn't remember anything, but instead, nothing but broken sobs came out of me. He took a few steps back and gestured to the open door, but I couldn't make my feet move. I was petrified… until Alice came down the stairs. She acted like nothing was wrong, asked me if I was alright, before taking a seat next to me on the couch. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I knew if I did they would kill me like they killed that man."

I took the next few hours explaining the endless conversations I had about vampires, the time I spent learning about their history, the time they spent learning about mine. I told him a bit about the early days of my friendship with each Cullen, the trips Alice and I took, all the times I saw Carlisle in the E.R. I explained my big-brother relationships with Emmett and Jasper, the animosity that I was feeling toward Rosalie lately, and my confusion in regards to that.

Throughout the night, he didn't say a word, but I knew that he was listening. And it appeared that not only was he listening, but he was _interested_. Normally I didn't like to dominate a conversation, to talk too much about myself, but he seemed strangely comforted by my stories, so I kept talking.

As the night wore on and I felt myself growing more and more tired, I finally got out of the bed. "I need…" I began, unsure of what I needed at this point. "A human minute," I finished with a smile, as I picked up my bag and brought it to the bathroom. I changed quickly and brushed my teeth, my eyes feeling heavier with every passing minute.

I made my way sluggishly back to the bed. I pulled the covers back and crawled in, not thinking about any awkwardness this could bring until that moment. Would he be comfortable sleeping in a bed with me? Was _I _comfortable sleeping in a bed with him?

I decided immediately that I was well beyond comfortable with it, but that didn't mean that he was.

I moved closer to him and slowly laid my head on his shoulder. I had never done this before, so I wasn't sure how to go about it, but, for as uncomfortable as his body was, it was oddly soothing. I felt my eyes growing heavy as my head rose and fell in rhythm with his breaths. I quietly brought my exposed arm tenderly over his stomach. With each of his breaths I could feel his body shudder, but he didn't move to distance us. Instead, he quietly wrapped his arm protectively around my shoulder.

It would be heaven under any other circumstances. It very nearly was anyway. I sighed peacefully, enjoying the pattern of his breathing, doing everything in my power to ignore his trembling. Eventually it eased and I felt his body slowly relax. I wanted to look at him, to see that he was okay, but I was already lost somewhere in my subconscious.

I awoke in the middle of the night, feeling unnaturally cold, and realized that I needed to put some distance between us. As much as I didn't want to, I slowly loosened his grip on me and rolled off of him. He looked down at me questioningly, the slight shake of his hands visible to me even in my groggy state. I was too asleep to actually do anything other than roll over, though, so I pushed myself to the other side of the bed and sunk onto my side, immediately falling back into a deep sleep.

**

I squinted, a small shiver running through my body. I was oddly comfortable, refreshed from an amazing night's sleep. I hadn't slept that well in weeks. I curled up tighter, clutching my hands around the pillow that I held.

It was then that I noticed that the pillow was oddly hard. And cold. And… animate.

I immediately recognized what I was grasping, as the entire back half of my body was several degrees cooler than the front. I still lay on my side, facing outward, but I felt his arm draped around me. I couldn't help but smile at the image of Edward lying behind me, wrapping his arms around me.

Too abruptly, though, I turned to face him. Surprised by my sudden movements, he growled sharply and pulled away. I sat up quickly and moved closer to him, my heart breaking as he cowered further. He wouldn't look at me as his body folded in on itself, his arms wrapping tightly around his knees.

"It's okay," I said, suddenly completely awake. I didn't hesitate to touch him, meeting first his shaking hand. I forced his fingers apart, as his whole frame quivered in fear of what I would do to him.

He finally met my eyes, his face a mixture of shock and anxiety. "Please," he whispered, more of a gasp than anything else. I couldn't even keep a tight grip on his hand he was shaking so hard. "Don't hurt…" he pleaded, but my fingers contacting his neck interrupted him. He flinched hard at my touch, but calmed quickly. He closed his eyes and his muscles relaxed a bit, but he was still trembling fiercely. "…me."

"You'll be alright?" I whispered, bringing my other hand to his and holding it between mine. He nodded slightly and closed his eyes, making a visible effort to control his anguish.

While I had planned on taking a shower and brushing my teeth, I knew that I couldn't leave him like this. So instead, I lay on my side behind him, molding my body to his, with the blanket acting as a barrier between our skin.

I wrapped my arm tightly over his trembling shoulders and instead of recoiling, he pushed his body further into mine. It was unexpected, but I knew if I reacted I would scare him, so I forced myself to remain still. I laid my head down on the pillow that his rest on and was able to see nothing other than his neck and hair -- but it was enough. I could see his body calming, and that was what I needed. As he relaxed, I tightened my grip on him, pulling us closer still.

After an eternity of waiting, his trembling stilled completely. I loosened my grip on him and pulled back, letting my forehead briefly touch the area between his shoulders before completely withdrawing.

"I'll be back," I finally whispered, grabbing my bag and heading to the shower.

I tried to make quick work of my morning activities, but the smell of bacon wafting from downstairs was tempting me and I knew the only reason it was being cooked was for my stay.

On the way through the room I stopped at the bed and sat down on the far side, pulling out my laptop and cord. I plugged it in and turned up the volume, letting the music fill the air. My vampire began shaking again and looked at me imploringly, recoiling from the noise.

I briefly thought that maybe this was a bad idea, that he wasn't ready for it. I turned the laptop to show it to him. It only frightened him further.

"It's just a computer," I said, pausing the music briefly. I moved closer to him, the computer on my lap, to show him it wouldn't hurt him.

But the closer I came the more he cowered. Part of me wanted to laugh at his irrational fear of my laptop, but I knew enough to know there was something deeper there. Something very unfunny and dark.

I turned the music back on softly and discarded the laptop to the side table, as far away from him as possible. I came behind him again, trying to ignore it as he cringed, and wrapped myself around him.

He was petrified, but he still wasn't running from me. "It's Debussy," I whispered, running my hand along his arm. It loosened some automatically, the trembling easing. I ran my fingers along his arm in tune with the music in the background, relishing in his calming demeanor.

His trembling finally eased some as the piece changed, so I started separating us.

"Do you want me to leave it on?" I asked, unsure of what to do if he chose not to answer.

I walked around the bed to see his face. He looked at me and nodded minutely, his breathing heavy but calm, as he reached out to my hand.

I took it eagerly, sitting down on the edge of the bed and watching the woods with him. When he started growling minutes later, I knew it was time for breakfast. Once more, I brought his fingers to my lips and kissed his palm. He flinched, although he tried not to let it show. I guess he was expecting the gesture this time.

I smiled at his attempt of subtlety and released him. "Okay, I have to go eat breakfast," I finally said. "I'll be back soon."

**

As I started up the stairs again, Alice quickly caught up with me. We had talked some over breakfast, but she hadn't said anything to indicate that she had plans for us today. But now, as she begged me to come to her room with her, I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach that she had something up her sleeve.

I followed glumly, the dirge that often accompanied this trek playing in my mind.

When we got to her bedroom, she led me to their bed and sat me down.

"Now, don't be upset," she said happily as she rummaged through her closet. "But I did a little shopping."

A loud groan escaped me as I feel backward onto the mattress. Jasper, who had been relatively quiet through this whole thing, looked up from his spot on the couch to mock me. When I felt my mortification multiply, I mustered all the anger that I was feeling. I brought back every memory of everything that had ever infuriated me, letting it all assault my senses. I did everything in my power to hide my delight at his discomfort, but I think the end result was a mixture of fury and self-satisfaction. After several seconds of pure rage, I began to feel my body heat in embarrassment.

Our games were ended when Alice interrupted, "You two are the only ones who think it's funny." She laughed, launching several bags onto the bed next to me. "Seriously, guys, doesn't it ever get old?"

We both shrugged, laughing at our display.

Alice joined in as she began pulling articles of clothing from the bags.

I groaned again.

**

In the end, I decided to only bring a pair of pants and a shirt for him. He didn't need a full wardrobe yet, but, if I was being honest, it was nice that he finally had his own clothes. Somehow, in Alice's shopping, she had chosen a few pieces for comfort rather than fashion. I knew this was just to appease me, as she had mentioned countless times that vampires felt comfortable despite the type of fabric, and I appreciated the gesture.

I could hear the music as I neared the bedroom, the CD I had made was coming to an end. I entered slowly, peeking through the door to make sure everything was okay.

He was sitting at the foot of the bed, looking out the window, when I walked up. I didn't catch him off guard this time, though.

He turned to look at me and a small smile played on his lips. I was still waiting for a real smile from him, but each of these smiles was enough to keep me satisfied. I set the clothes on the foot of the bed before I plopped down next to him, glancing in the direction of his focus and immediately grasping his hand in my own.

We held that position for hours as I told him stories about my friends at school. He didn't say anything during my stories, but I could see his body reacting to the things that I said, so I continued. Eventually, I crawled to the headboard and leaned against it, reaching to the side table and grabbing the book. I flipped slowly through the worn pages. I knew this book got read a lot; it was Emmett's favorite. I think Dracula's position allowed him a sense of superiority, if only in his own mind.

After several hours, Edward withdrew from his trance and moved toward me. He eyed the computer, making sure it wasn't a threat, I guess, and curled up next to me.

He laid his head in my lap slowly, keeping his eyes on mine the whole time.

When he was finally repositioned, I pulled the blanket to cover us and went back to the book. I held it out further so he could see it and flipped back to the beginning. I wasn't sure if he could actually read it, so I opted to read it aloud.

We only got through eleven pages, having to pause after every one for him to touch it, to smell it, to inspect it, before Alice knocked.

My vampire growled sharply and cowered further under the blanket as Alice and Emmett came in.

My attempts at calming him were overlooked as Alice took a seat, cross-legged, at the foot of the bed. Emmett walked to the far corner, as far from Edward as possible, and sat on the ground. He rested his forearms on his knees and smiled widely, his burly laughter filling the room.

"What do you guys want?"

Edward was still shaking, his growling low but menacing, as the two rattled on about Dracula.

She picked up the book and flippantly looked through the pages, scoffing and mumbling things like "garlic," under her breath.

After several minutes, Alice finally turned her attention to us.

"We've been doing some research," she said. I nodded for her to continue as Edward's growls softened.

"Between what we know and what I've seen, it looks like your family died during the Spanish influenza pandemic," she looked directly at Edward as she explained.

I thought about this for a minute. Surely it couldn't be _the_ outbreak. That would mean –

"It would mean that he was changed in 1918," she whispered sadly, watching for our reactions. "And has likely spent his entire life in captivity," she continued.

"How do you know?"

She turned her focus back to him. "I saw your last name," she began. "In a vision, you tell it to Bella. Or, would have, but…" She looked to me quickly and added, "it's Masen. Rosalie, Emmett and I have been researching all day, and given what we already knew, between the three of us, we were able to pull up some old newspaper clippings. It wasn't easy, since people were dying left and right, but we were able to find Edward and Elizabeth Masen, their son Edward, all having died that year." She glanced at me meaningfully, then back to Edward.

"So he's… been in captivity… for 90 years?" I couldn't wrap my head around it. Suddenly it seemed like his reaction to the laptop was _rational_.

His growling was still there but very light; he was paying attention. He was scared, but he was interested in what she had to say. He clutched my hand tightly, but not so tightly as to hurt me.

"What else can you tell me?"

"We've talked to several friends, and still none of them are turning anything up. We've all heard rumors of places – that conduct experiments – but so far there's been no proof whatsoever. But, Carlisle has run the bracelet by every doctor and website he has access to, and has turned up nothing. No one's even reported him missing… to anything. It's like he – like he doesn't exist. The bracelet is similar to that of a hospital band, except it lacks any form of identification – of the hospital _or_ of the patient. It has to be some sort of lab," she rambled.

"But we don't need to stress about that right now," she concluded, picking invisible lint off of her shirt. "We're going to go," she said, "but we'll come back up tomorrow, once he's calmer. Come downstairs when you're ready, we'll go out to dinner?"

With that, she and Emmett left the room.

He calmed immediately when they were gone, his growling completely dissipating and his trembling reducing itself to nothing.

I began talking to him a bit about Alice's visions and explained the mechanics behind them. I told him how the family relied on them more than they should, and how often the future changed for her. It was always interesting how much Alice was guided by the future, a paradigm of the self-fulfilling prophecy evident in her way of life.

But then, Jasper was guided by other's emotions, as well. I wondered again if Edward really could read minds. Alice had to have been right about that, but he still showed no signs of being able to read mine.

Eventually, when my vampire had completely stilled, I pulled myself off of the bed. It was past seven and I was starving, so I quickly explained that I needed to get dinner and departed the room.

**

Pizza was waiting for me downstairs, and I was grateful not to have to leave again. Emmett and Rosalie were engaged in another video game, Carlisle behind a book, Alice at the piano and Jasper keeping me company. I ate in relative silence, ignoring the comments on the weather and Rose's inability to properly aim a sniper rifle. I rolled my eyes.

After I was finished eating, I cleaned up quickly and headed back upstairs. It was late and I was tired, more mentally exhausted than anything, so I went straight to the bathroom to change. When I came back out, Edward was sitting at the edge of the bed looking outside again. It wasn't the fact that he had moved that startled me though.

I looked over his clothed body several times before walking over to him. The pants that I had given him were now in his lap and instead he wore the clothes that Alice had bought him. He looked up and smiled sadly, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his cheek on them.

"I don't… remember them," he whispered as I made my way over to him and sat down. "I can't remember anything about them." He looked back to the window, losing himself in his thoughts once more. I sat with him, rubbing his back, for several minutes, but quickly realized that he could sit there all night, and I desperately wanted sleep. I moved myself to the pillows and curled toward the middle, watching his back expand with each breath as he kept his gaze trained outside. Eventually, he moved closer to me and laid down. As he settled into the bed, he rolled toward me so that we were facing one another on our sides.

I quickly closed the distance, letting my head rest on his arm. I wrapped myself tightly around his body, making sure to cover myself as best as I could; I didn't want to have to roll away again tonight.

We lay in silence as we held each other, the only audible sounds was that of our breathing.

As I was drifting to sleep, I felt my vampire swallow. So softly, he whispered above my head, "Goodnight… Bella." I thought that I might already be dreaming until I felt his grip on me tighten infinitesimally.

I smiled blissfully, kissing his chest through the t-shirt and whispering, "Goodnight, Edward," before closing my eyes and losing myself in sleep.

******

**A/N: things worth noting: You guys never cease to amaze me with the reviews, I sound like a broken record, but seriously... I love them!**

**Edward's healing, albeit slowly – however, a common question last chapter was why he would lose his vamp memory. So to clarify any confusion – he has retained his memory of his vampire years, his only HUMAN memory left is of that last night. **

**Review if you miss shirtless-ward! Or review if you're glad he's got his own clothes! Or.. review if you don't care one way or another! (just review?) **


	15. The River

**A/N**: Thanks to jilburfm for beta'ing!

OCD_Indeed for her support.

Everyone who's reading/reviewing/rec'cing/favoriting!

**

The River

**Bella POV**

I awoke on Sunday morning still wrapped tightly in Edward's arms. Neither of us had moved throughout the night and I could feel a distinct ache in my neck, more than likely the direct result of using a granite pillow.

I pulled back and looked up to his face, not asleep but peaceful nonetheless. For a brief moment, I wondered what he did throughout the night as I slept. I reached up and ran my fingers across his forehead, sweeping his hair from his face as his eyes opened to meet mine.

With a yawn, I mumbled "Good morning," before withdrawing to stretch my sore muscles. He released me, offering a reserved smile in response.

I inched myself closer to him until we were side by side and rested my hand on his cool fingers. "Have a good night?" I asked, as he flipped his hand to grasp mine. His lips pulled up into a crooked smile and he nodded minutely.

"You're in a good mood," I noticed, happily accepting the change from yesterday.

"You," he began in a strained whisper, immediately casting his eyes downward. I reached under his chin and guided his head upward, allowing our eyes to meet.

"What?" I finally asked, unsuccessfully searching his face for some sign of what he meant.

"You talk."

My face reddened instantaneously and I pulled away slightly, averting my eyes in a vain effort to find composure. I tried to remember my dreams from the past night. Since I'd met him, I had dreamt about him plenty, but lately they had become more... personal. _More embarrassing_. I couldn't remember exactly what last night's had contained, but I knew it couldn't be good. As I continued struggling to regain my self-control, I felt a cool, shaky finger hook underneath my chin.

I was unable to stop the smile from spreading on my lips as he slowly lifted my head, nor could I contain the traitor tears in my eyes when they finally met his. "What…d-did… I say…?" I asked. I continued smiling in spite of myself as I covered his hand with my own.

After several minutes of silence, I gave up on waiting for his response. "I need to go shower – and eat breakfast," I told him, letting our hands fall and moving backward. He nodded solemnly and slowly relaxed back into the mattress, curling onto his side and pulling the blanket over his shoulders.

Quickly, I grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom.

**

When I was finished with my morning routine and came back into the bedroom, I noticed that he was standing by the window again, his hands and forehead laid flat against it, his eyes cast downward.

He looked like a prisoner, desperate for the outdoors but unable to grasp it; my mood steadily sunk as I watched him, wondering what could possibly be going through his mind.

I stood by the bathroom door, contemplating how to say what I knew needed to be said. "You know you can –" I began, my heart breaking a little with every passing second. His head snapped up to look at me, his expression a mixture of confusion and longing. I lowered my voice to a whisper as I approached him. "You know you can go… if you want to. I won't stop you," I said, finally reaching him. "We won't force you to stay."

_Please don't go_, I cried internally. _Please… don't go._

He looked longingly back out the window and almost inaudibly whispered, "I don't… I don't think I can."

I held his hand in mine as we stood side by side, watching the world wake up, watching the outside come to life. Soon, we would have to go outside; he needed a chance to really experience it. If he had never been free, he probably had no idea what he was capable of doing. The thought of being outside with him was almost surreal, and I couldn't wait for it.

Alice came in at four, taking a seat on the corner of the bed. "Hey guys," she said, tracing invisible patterns into the comforter. Edward backed up automatically, but managed to contain his growling. I looked at him hopefully, thrilled that his fear wasn't consuming him.

"You should go home soon," she began, breaking the silence. "Charlie will be less of a problem if you spend some time with him." She was right. I grumbled incoherently and knew my weekend was coming to a close.

"Is he even home?" I asked, annoyance seeping into my tone.

"Yep, he didn't fish today. I think he was hoping he'd see you." I could feel the guilt trip about to be laid on me and wanted desperately to avoid it, but before I could speak, she continued, "Bella –"

"I know, I know."

She chuckled under her breath and mumbled, "Of course you do," just loud enough for me to hear. "So – this weekend," she began, before detailing the plans for Friday and Saturday. Friday was homecoming and Saturday was my birthday, making this weekend my own personal hell. _At least,_ I justified, _I'd be able to spend _one_ night here_. Although I had spent very few birthdays with Charlie, when we did spend them together he would get up early to cook breakfast and watch me open gifts. I looked forward to it, as it was one of the only traditions left between us. So I knew Friday night was out, but I hoped that he would be okay with me spending Saturday night here. I put it out of my mind, determined to not let it affect me yet.

We talked about homecoming and, while I tried to reel her in in regards to my birthday, I could already see that she was out of control. Edward didn't speak, but he didn't growl or tremble much either. He just watched her intently.

By five, it was time to pack up. I left the book on the table and grabbed my things, shoving them all into my bag and setting it by the door. I walked to the edge of the bed where Edward sat watching me curiously, and knelt down next to him. He immediately reached his hand toward mine and I took it, flipping it over and drawing invisible patterns on his forearm. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, his muscles tightening briefly under my touch.

"I have to go home. My dad – Charlie – he's waiting for me."

I moved to stand but he tightened his grip on my wrist. He opened his eyes and looked at me morosely. "You… you'll be back?" he asked, his eyebrows pulling together.

I reached up and stroked his jaw before answering, "Of course I will."

**

**Carlisle POV**

It was Tuesday night and I had taken root in my study, scanning through yet another set of files that were possibly linked to the bracelet. I had been pouring all of my free time into figuring out where he came from, and although no one could answer, I was able to find several hospitals that utilized similar wristbands. So far, however, none had been a match. To be fair, I knew it was highly unlikely that hospital records would turn anything up. As I finished browsing the last file in the stack, I closed it despondently, sighing at my futile efforts.

I heard a soft knock on the door, the heartbeat that accompanied it immediately giving away her identity. "Come in," I called loudly, restacking the files and setting them aside.

"He said his throat hurts," Bella explained as she walked into the study. She immediately sat down in the leather armchair. "Is he thirsty?"

I nodded, contemplating which course of action would be best. "Likely," I responded as I stood. She followed suit and together, we walked downstairs. As she left for the night, I began to consider the implications of his burning throat.

It had only been a few days since he had last fed, and I hadn't really counted on him needing to feed again until at least Thursday, but I was unwilling to take any risks where this vampire was involved. _Especially with Bella spending so much time with him_, I thought wryly.

I knew that some progress had been made in regards to his disposition over the past few days, although all of my information was coming to me through the grapevine. I had been putting more hours in at the hospital, as I found myself unable to sit idly by while Bella risked herself day after day, _knowing _that she would inevitably be in danger.

I still couldn't fully process why the others were so laid back about the whole situation. Given Alice's vision, _nothing_ good could come from this budding relationship. But we were a unit, and I could not grant myself absolute power, despite my status in the family. As it was, Rosalie and I were unable to fight the four votes of approval, but damned if I would sit in my home and simply wait for hell to break loose.

It was in that mindset that I began pouring myself into my work. For the past two weeks, my attendance at the hospital was sparse at best, and if I were being honest with myself, it was a nice break from the drama.

However, it meant that when improvements were made at home that would otherwise catch my attention, I was only informed as a courtesy. I could admit, though, that his developing trust in Bella was remarkable, and I could only hope at this point that it might carry over to one of us.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Jasper asked, interrupting my thoughts. Did I want him to? We all knew that Jasper was the least likely to earn his trust, but it was entirely possible that, if he had come far enough, Jasper's calm could potentially do some good.

"No," Alice answered for me, striding into the room and taking her place next to her husband. She looked up at him meaningfully and explained, "It'll be better if it's just Carlisle this time, I think." She turned her attention to me and continued. "Right now it looks like it might be alright… Just take it slowly, don't take anything for granted, okay?"

I nodded solemnly, considering all of the different possible meanings of 'alright.' Finally, I grabbed my bag and moved to the kitchen, filling it with pints of animal blood, and headed up the stairs.

As I entered the room, I kept my position beside the far wall, maintaining as much space between us as possible. He was already cowering against the headboard when he came into my view, so I quickly set down my bag. _I'm here to help_, I thought, unsure of whether spoken words would be the proper approach in this situation.

"I'm Carlisle," I introduced myself slowly, hesitantly, and waited for some sign of recognition. He continued recoiling until his back was flat against the wood and let out a menacing growl.

"Bella said your throat hurts?" I asked, taking a step toward the bed. A leather-bound copy of Dracula lay curiously open on the mattress. I approached it and picked it up, inspecting it. I relished in the scent of the old material before setting it on the nightstand.

"It's likely your body's reaction to the thirst," I explained, keeping myself as far from him as possible. His growling let up and he straightened his shoulders a bit as I continued. "It hasn't been long since you've fed, but if you're thirsty I think it's best that we not waste time." _It won't be pleasant, but it's necessary._

He looked at me incredulously, his mouth parting slightly in confusion. _Can you hear me, Edward?_

I noticed his trembling increase infinitesimally, if I hadn't been watching him so intently I wouldn't have recognized it at all, but there was something in the way his eyes shifted uncertainly. He was growing more nervous.

"It's okay," I said, moving to my bag. "My only intention is to feed you."

He wrapped his arms tighter around his legs as I rounded the bed quickly and calmly, sitting on the edge closest to him. His growling and trembling both amplified as I reached over and grabbed the book.

"So," I began, flipping through the pages. "Dracula, huh?" I chuckled under my breath. Humans had such creative perceptions of the vampire world. I thought about why Bella would pull this book, of all books, out for him. Unless he had chosen it, I couldn't really come to grips with the decision. It was Emmett's favorite, but Bella had never really shown interest in it. I would've guessed her to have picked Austen or Bronte.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I noticed the growling softening, but, having instinctually linked it to my thoughts about Bella, I tried to keep them at the forefront.

"Emmett loves Dracula," I finally said. "He loves the vulnerabilities that encompass traditional depictions of our kind. Makes him feel strong, worthy." I set the book down and reached for my bag, opening it and laying the contents out on the table next to us. "You need to feed."

His eyes met mine as he continued to growl softly, his breathing heavy and desperate. Their coloring was still relatively light, but I couldn't fathom taking any risks with him; _not where Bella's safety was concerned_. I reached out for the cup I had set aside and poured a small amount of blood into it before setting it back down.

"You could try," I began, considering how to broach the subject. "You could try to drink it orally, but it likely won't work," I explained, pulling out the tube once more. "Would you like to try?"

I watched him closely for his answer, for some sort of shift in body language to indicate a preference. I was fairly confident that his body would naturally expel the blood, but the more choices I gave him the better the chance of this going well.

Eventually, he closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, presenting me with his response. The progress that had been made over the past two weeks truly was astounding.

I stood, certain to keep my movements deliberate as not to startle him, and uncoiled the tube. "I'm going to take this slowly," I explained, trying to gauge his fear. "If you need me to slow down, or if you feel yourself panicking, I'll stop. You just need to let me know, okay?"

Gradually, I reached my hand out toward his arm. He flinched, desperately trying to move himself back further, but had no room left to withdraw. "Are you okay?"

_I'm not going to hurt you,_ I repeated mentally, unsuccessful in my attempts at relaxing him; he wasn't calming.

So I thought back to Bella, the one person he seemed to trust. I allowed myself to think about her birthday, about the CD player that Emmett and Rosalie had bought her, and imagined her reaction to opening it. Alice and Emmett had taken her on a weekend trip to California over the summer and the sole reason that Bella had allowed Alice to drive was because her truck lacked appropriate "road-trip music." We met them there and spent a particularly muggy day at an amusement park.

I tried to remain blissfully unaware of his calming, to continue allowing the happy memories with our favorite human to flood my mind, but when our eyes met, I couldn't help but briefly wonder what was going through his.

Quickly though, before his panic could resurface, I went back into those memories. I thought about their prom, about the dress that Alice forced her into. She had tripped walking down the stairs and sprained her ankle. I remember the look of sheer happiness on her face when I told her the news; she didn't care one bit about her body, so long as she could get out of dancing in public. I smiled fondly at the memory of the make-shift prom in our living room, Emmett whirling her effortlessly around the floor while Alice took picture after picture.

I had guided him onto his back by the time that night had completely played out, and was ready to reinsert the tube. "I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered, preparing it. "Are you feeling okay?" He didn't respond, but our eyes met for a brief second so I continued.

I thought back to the summer nights at the river, spent swimming and cooking out. She always hated when we cooked, knowing it was only for her benefit. But Esme loved to cook, and Emmett loved the atmosphere of cook-outs, so we were able to convince her it was for our benefit as much as hers. She really brought out our humanity, for which _all_ of us were grateful.

"Swallow," I spoke softly as the tube hit the back of his throat, keeping the images in my head. He silently complied, looking at me desperately. "Good, you're doing perfectly," I praised him as I would any other patient, "It's almost over."

This past summer was the best any of us could remember. It was so light-hearted and simple. Occasionally Charlie would come to our cookouts, in which case we would be forced to eat, but it didn't matter. Charlie would sit by the edge of the river with Jasper and fish, although they rarely bit with the girls splashing nearby.

When the tube was in place I knew I needed to come back to reality, if just for a minute, to get him fed. He turned his head to the door, but didn't make a move to escape. As the blood flowed through the tube, I reached for the cup and put my hand under his head, lifting it slightly off of the pillow.

"You need to smell it," I instructed, supporting his neck as I held the cup under his nose. He looked up at me, fear evident in his features, and closed his eyes. I felt a wave of calm crash over me and smiled, silently thanking my son for his assistance. _I should've known he'd be nearby._

Edward inhaled quickly, taking a very shallow breath through his nose. I felt his body jolt reflexively as the smell of the blood assaulted his senses, so I immediately pulled the cup away. I turned his head to the side and pushed his hair off his forehead, whispering, "It's okay," quietly, repetitively. I reached out to his hand, gripping it loosely, and in his panic, his fingers quickly tightened around mine. Violent tremors shook his body as he clutched my hand desperately, but eventually, his body began to calm.

The blood continued to flow into his system, and when he had finally stilled, I brought the cup to his nose once more. Abruptly, he pulled away, his head turning into the pillow in a vain effort to protect himself. _I'm sorry_, I thought poignantly, _it needs to be done_. If Bella hadn't grown so close to him we could possibly afford to take more risks, but the circumstances required that I act with the utmost caution, not just for his well-being, but for hers as well; I could see no other way of getting around his aversion, and allowing his thirst to consume him would surely end in disaster. I could only think to slowly reacquaint him with the scent of blood, which would hopefully let his body recognize the positive reaction it had when blood was consumed.

I reached my hand into the cup and let the tip of my finger coat in blood, relishing in the sweet scent. It was only animal blood, so it was far less appealing than human blood, but it still sparked that familiar sting in my throat. I put my finger under his nose, keeping my thoughts calm yet pleading.

Eventually, he inhaled again. The reflexive gag followed, but it was visibly less violent this time. I withdrew once more and wiped off my hand; it was enough for now. Still, I wanted to make sure he was fully fed, so I quietly pulled out another bag of blood. As I continued to feed him, I brought up every happy memory of Bella I could think of. By the time he was through his fifth pint, I slowly removed the tube and stood. "Are you alright?" I asked again, returning my supplies to my bag.

His breathing was slowly returning to normal as the tremors in his hands stilled. "You should be alright at least until the weekend. Does your throat still hurt?"

I looked at him quickly, hoping that the cause of this pain was as simple as thirst. He sat up slightly on the bed and shook his head, rolling to his side and wrapping his arms tightly around his legs. I smiled and walked quietly to the door, glancing back it him quickly.

"You're welcome to explore the house," I added, unsure of whether this was actually safe. "I know you've seen the study, but you're free to take a look around. There are, of course, other books – which you may find more interesting," I thought to continue, but it seemed as though he had had enough of me for one day. "If you need anything, I'll be in the study." I dropped my head and smiled to myself, quickly exiting the bedroom.

**

**Bella POV**

By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was feeling more comfortable in our routine. We had been spending much of our time on the balcony, but I decided that it wasn't enough anymore. _Tonight we will go outside_, I promised myself as I got ready for school that morning.

The past few days had been relatively event-free. He didn't move around much, except to stand by the window, and he rarely spoke.

Still, though, I could see him getting better. We were working toward something and, as slowly as he was progressing, I could see his improvement. It was wrong that he was stuck in that bedroom all day every day, and tonight, tonight I would rectify that.

School dragged, my budding excitement over this evening's plans making it extremely difficult to remain focused on anything else.

It was almost five by the time I got to the mansion, and I was met at the front door by a very eager Alice.

"Before you say anything," she began. "I'm not positive how well this will go, but I think it's a good choice."

I smiled, throwing my arms around her. "But you need to be careful, okay? We'll be nearby, and I'll watch closely… but please, just be careful."

She released me and led me into the house. Strangely, no one was in the living room as I passed by. I looked questioningly at Alice, who just shrugged and pushed me along before heading toward the kitchen.

He was sitting on the bed with the book in his lap when I entered, his automatic growl quickly dissipating as I made my way over to him.

"Hey," I greeted him as I laid down on the bed and look at the ceiling. I turned on my side and reached over to him, my hand falling on his forearm. "How are you?" I asked. His eyes were lighter again, the circles that had begun to appear had completely faded; he had fed.

"Okay," he whispered softly, leaning back into the bed next to me.

"You fed?"

He nodded. "Do you feel any better?"

"A little." He smiled and closed his eyes, pulling my hand up to his face. He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes as he looked back to the window. It reminded me of my current dilemma.

I was oddly nervous about going outside for the first time. What if he left? There _really_ would be nothing stopping him.

He looked at me curiously as my heart sped. I sat upright and tightened my grip on his hands, guiding him with me. "C'mon," I whispered, gesturing to the door.

This was normal enough for us, as we had gone to the study several times by this point, but when I turned right instead of left outside the bedroom door, he stopped short.

"It's okay," I said, moving a bit further. He growled sharply, his face full of alarm as he looked at me. His hands were beginning to shake, but eventually he took a tentative step in my direction.

"I was thinking maybe… maybe we could go outside?"

His fingers tightened around mine and he took another step toward me. "It's okay," I whispered, as we slowly made our way to the top of the staircase. Looking down upon the living room, I could feel the trembles rising in his body. Slowly, we descended the steps. The room was still empty as we passed, but my vampire remained as close to the wall as possible while we inched ourselves forward.

He kept his eyes fixed straight ahead, not curious whatsoever of his surroundings, which initially puzzled me. Although, given his reaction to the computer, I could imagine that the things in the living room would terrify him.

When we got to the back door I opened it slowly and turned to him. "You're faster than me," I began, our eyes meeting, "and stronger. If you run, I won't be able to catch you," I whispered, squeezing his fingers tighter.

"I won't run," he promised softly, his eyes leaving mine as he looked through the cracked door. He slowly pushed it open wider, a small shiver running down his spine.

I stepped outside, the warm September sun immediately lightening my mood. Forks weather was so unpredictable; I knew to savor these types of evenings.

I took a few steps forward, letting the breeze hit my senses, and looked up to the sky. The Cullen land really was beautiful. I spent several seconds admiring the land around me while I listened intently for the river. I knew the Cullens could hear it from the house, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't make it out.

When I heard a soft growl behind me, I turned on my heels. Edward was still standing in the doorway, partially obscured by the shadows.

I reached out a hand and gestured for him to join me, smiling widely at the strangely cooperative weather. "Come on," I said, stepping toward him.

He took a step back, retreating into the house and shook his head, his trembling growing visibly.

I reached out further and our hands met, his eyes closing as he inhaled deeply. "It'll be okay," I whispered, stepping back again. This time, he tentatively followed.

As he finally stepped out into the sunlight, we simultaneously gasped.

Edward in the sunlight was like nothing I had ever seen before. I knew that a vampire's skin reacted this way to the light, but he was so intensely… _beautiful_. I openly gaped at him but my ogling was cut short.

He quickly retreated to the shadows, falling back against the outside of the house. Immediately, I went to his side and wrapped my arms around him.

"The Cullens own all of this land," I whispered, as we took in our surroundings. I had been out here countless times, but never before had it seemed _so_ breathtaking. I watched the trees sway with a newfound appreciation.

Eventually, he straightened up and took a deep, shaky breath. I anticipated that he was ready to try again, so I kept my arms clutched tightly around him and slowly, we left the confines of the shadows.

The sun was beginning to set in the sky, his body reacting less to the dimmer light. We gradually inched away from the shade and further into the backyard.

As we moved, Edward lifted his hand out in front of him and turned it over, closely inspecting the effects the sun made on his diamond skin. His trembling had grown fiercer, his occasional flinches deep and unrelenting, and as we finally made it to the most exposed part of the yard, I lowered myself to the grass.

His shaky arms remained outstretched before him as he sat down next to me.

I took his hand in my lap and held it up, rotating it slightly to the left and right, as we both examined the sparkling flesh. "So beautiful," I murmured, only to myself.

His shuddering eased a bit as he looked to me and smiled. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, inhaling deeply through his nose. I kept my grip on his hand and ran my fingers up and down his forearm, tracing the shimmering veins that appeared there. "Is this okay?" I asked, as I moved to flip his hand over. He realized what I was trying to do and complied, the back of his fingers fully exposed in just a fraction of a second.

The movement would have startled anyone else, but I knew that I was safe with my vampire. "You have no idea… how that feels," he sighed, his eyes remaining closed. I smiled outwardly, elated with his approval, and continued examining his arm.

As the sun fell further the diamonds began to dull into the pale skin that I was used to, but I continued my exploration of his exposed skin. I could feel my heart beating erratically in my chest as I pulled his other arm into my hands, his eyes finally opening to meet mine.

Tentatively, he pulled one hand free and brought it to my collarbone. He laid his palm flat against my heart as we both sat completely still, lost in this moment. Too soon, though, he pulled his hand back. I immediately missed its presence, but just as I opened my mouth to beg him not to stop, he brought his head closer to me.

I refused to move a muscle as he rested his ear over my heart; the only movement from either of us was my ever speeding heartbeat. I could feel my breathing picking up as his head lay flat against my chest, so I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.

"Beautiful," he whispered softly, eventually pulling back. I was still stunned by the whole exchange, but, as not to create any tension, I quickly went back to inspecting his skin.

After what could have been minutes or hours, we stood and quietly walked further into the yard. I knew not to get too far in, but I could hear the river flowing in the distance; we were nearing it. I found the path that we often took and followed it, keeping my vampire's hand clutched tightly in my own. He occasionally cringed as we walked, and I often had to wait as he took in his surroundings. He was clearly petrified, but I could tell in the way he examined everything around us that he was also curious.

"Do you want to go back?" I asked as I waited out his hesitation.

"Not yet," he whispered, closing the small gap that had been formed between us. We continued walking.

When we reached the river I let go of his hands and knelt down, letting the tips of my fingers run through the cool water. He followed suit and crouched beside me, a soft growl resonating from his chest. He put his hands in the water quickly, unaffected by the coolness that it brought, and closed his eyes.

I sat down, watching him as he inhaled the scents of the river. He pulled up handfuls of water and observed as it trickled through his fingers. Over and over he did this, relearning what the earth was like. Again, I felt the pang of hatred for those who did this to him. I assumed that vampires had to be involved, as I knew of no human in the world that could overpower one of these immortals.

"But what kind of vampires would keep you locked up for one hundred years," I mumbled silently, only to myself.

"They weren't vampires," he answered quickly, his eyebrows knitting together in uncertainty. He looked up from the water and directly to me, shaking his head in confusion before continuing. "Your -," he started, but stopped short, swallowing hard. "– before last week, I'd never seen another vampire."

**

**A/N**: Well, there ya go.

Lots of questions about EPOV. There won't be EPOV within the story, as far as I know. There will at least be EPOV outtakes at some point, but his POV will never appear inside the story.

The new review response system and I had a bit of a disagreement, so I'm sorry to say I didn't get to respond to a good chunk of reviews. We were able to work out our differences, though, so I should be able to respond this chapter.

As always, thanks SO MUCH to everyone who reviews! The review count epically slipped last chap, so… Review if you're surprised that E never faced a vamp? Or if you called it. Or if you're indifferent!


	16. The Dance

**A/N**: Thanks to OCD_Indeed! And Cullenitis for helping me through this one!

Jilburfm rocks the beta, fixes up all sorts of comma errors and keeps the vocab in check, among about a million other things.

Huge thanks to the girls over at the Temptation Podcast for picking VITB as the fic of the week. Woo! And everyone else who is rec'cing, reading, REVIEWING, etc! I love it!

**

**Bella POV**

"Not vampires?" I repeated his words in my head over and over as he turned his attention back to the water. _Not vampires? _

He remained silently perched at the edge of the river and slowly shook his head. "No," he repeated, a dejected sigh escaping him. I could make out the slight tremble in his shoulders as he said this, the water rippling more fiercely as his shaking intensified. I moved closer to him and repositioned myself, draping my arm protectively around his back. I vehemently tried to ignore his flinch at our contact, but couldn't help the brief feelings of frustration at my inability to gain his full trust.

"Humans?" I whispered conspiratorially, my eyes automatically scanning my surroundings. The corners of his lips turned up slightly at my perusal while he inhaled deliberately. When he finally let the breath go, he turned his focus back to the water. His trembling continued to pick up as I tightened my grip on his back, the flow of the current splashing angrily against his unsteady fingers.

"Edward," I finally said, several silent minutes later. Reluctantly, he pulled his eyes from the river to meet mine. He cocked his head, silently encouraging me to continue. "Who did this to you?" I asked softly, my voice cracking at the end; I wasn't entirely sure I was prepared for the answer, but it was so rare that he offered up information about his past, I couldn't allow the opportunity to pass without trying. I raised my hand slowly to his neck as I attempted to decipher his pained expression, tracing his quivering jaw line; his eyes closed.

I could almost see the panic physically manifesting itself as he reflected on what he'd been through, and I knew of no other way to comfort him than what I had been doing since I met him. I pulled his shaking body closer to me and wrapped my arms around him tightly, my hands automatically tangling themselves into his hair. I could feel his erratic breaths jolting my body, but I held him as tightly as I could manage while I worked to keep my own sobs at bay.

"Edward," I whispered, a fresh bout of tears staining the t-shirt that Alice had bought him. I whispered his name over and over, begging him to come back to reality, as the tremors slowly eased. "You don't have to tell me." My voice was low as I released his body, my hands gripping his shoulders and pushing him back far enough to allow our eyes to meet. He was in agony; that much was clear.

The sun was low in the sky by now, the forest darkening around us. I turned my attention back to him and swallowed loudly, slowly rising to my feet.

I reached my hand out to him. He quickly stood and took it in his own as we walked side by side in companionable silence back toward the mansion.

We quickly made our way upstairs, once more uninterrupted by any of the Cullens. I couldn't hear them, but I suspected that they were close-by. We quickly ascended the staircase and headed back to the bedroom. On the bed lay a fresh pair of sweatpants and a clean t-shirt, along with a leather-bound copy of _Much Ado About Nothing_. I shook my head, disbelieving. _Subtle._

It was just past seven, so I quickly moved the things to the nightstand and sat on the bed. He lowered himself next to me, our feet dangling over the edge; his had been bare and there was visible evidence of our trip on his skin. I looked up at him and smiled sheepishly, removing my own shoes and socks and rolling my pants to my knees.

I walked slowly to the bathroom, looking over my shoulder for evidence that my vampire was on the same page as me. He sat stoically on the bed, watching me with a mixture of trepidation and something close to amusement as I entered the bathroom.

I knelt down beside the tub and turned the water on, the steam from the overly hot water greeting my chilled fingers. I positioned the plug and allowed the bath to fill some before turning off the water and heading back to the bedroom.

As I made my way toward him, he stood, taking small, tentative steps in my direction. I took his arm and led him to the bathroom, keeping my movements slow and deliberate as not to cause any unnecessary anxiety on either of our parts.

I opted to leave the door open upon entering the bathroom, keeping his escape always visible to him if I accidentally pushed him too far. I maintained eye contact with him as I slowly lifted my legs into the steaming tub. I knew his body would cause it to immediately cool, but as my feet burned under the water, I contemplated how long I would be able to withstand the heat.

He swallowed and glanced around nervously before sitting down on the ledge, facing the opposite direction. As discreetly as possible, I lifted my feet from the water and perched them on the wall across from me, half-turning my body to face him.

Quietly, he leaned down and began working his pants up his calves. I watched in perfect silence as he mimicked my movements from earlier, his trembling fingers rolling the fabric, until finally he looked up and caught my eye. I moved as close to the wall as possible, allowing him room to turn, but instead he stood and stepped cautiously into the tub. He lowered himself until he was sitting next to me and closed his eyes, absently reaching his hand toward mine.

I grasped it tightly and let our entangled fingers fall between us, finally having a moment to reflect on the events of the day. My vampire had never been outside. He had never seen himself in the sun, never tasted the fresh air. My mind wandered briefly back to the day they found him. Alice had told me that he was in the woods in the middle of the afternoon. I couldn't understand why his reaction to the outdoors had been so… _shocked._

He obviously had been outside before, and yet, something about the way he had responded indicated otherwise. I struggled over the implications of this information for several minutes before absently replacing my feet in the water. It had cooled significantly and I was startled out of my reverie by the brief shiver that followed the contact. I looked over to Edward and immediately caught his gaze; he was watching me. _Intently._

I gave him a half-hearted smile and as I felt the color rising to my face, a sheepish chuckle escaped me. "What?" I asked, my grin widening as the corner of his mouth turned up.

He shook his head and looked down quickly, his token defense mechanism, so I squeezed his hand gently in a feeble attempt to reassure him. Slowly, he lifted his head and quietly searched my eyes. I wasn't sure what I should be doing so I just sat silently, hoping he found whatever answers he was looking for.

"You're different," he suddenly whispered. Instantly, my mind replayed the last time he said this. _"You're not like them,"_ he had said. I had explained that day that I wasn't though; I had told him.

"What do you mean?" I finally asked. Clearly I was failing at deciphering his cryptic messages.

His eyebrows pulled together pensively as he continued his inspection of my face. It wasn't exactly… uncomfortable, but it wasn't something that I particularly enjoyed.

"You're quiet."

I chuckled reflexively. I couldn't even begin to remember all of the things I had told him. I'm _quiet?_

His grin had widened by the time I looked back to him, still silently watching me. "I'm quiet," I repeated, disbelieving.

He swallowed and his expression shifted to one of concern, his grip on my hand tightening slightly. "I…" he began, looking away again.

"What?" I spoke softly, encouraging him.

"I've never –" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, pulling back. "Your friend –"

"It's okay," I whispered.

He nodded, his eyes remaining closed. "I can't hear…" He clenched his eyes tightly and tightened his grip on me once more. "Your thoughts," he finished, just above a whisper. Immediately, he opened his eyes for my reaction.

_He can't hear my thoughts?_ I wasn't really sure what to make of it. _Is it because I'm human?_ _Or because I'm broken? _The questions streamed through my head before I could even fully process them. _Did it mean he _could _read minds?_ I knew I should've trusted Alice, she was never wrong. _Why wouldn't he be able to hear mine?_

He continued watching me as my mind raced through the possibilities. "So you can read minds," I began, willing him to give me any other pieces to the puzzle. I looked up at him quickly for some sign of an answer. He nodded, closing his eyes and pulling away a bit. I kept my hold on his hand.

"But you can't read… _human_ minds?"

He opened his eyes briefly to search mine. "I can," he said.

"So… so something's wrong with me?" I sighed. I always knew something was wrong with me, it really shouldn't have surprised me. Shrugging my shoulders, I offered him a small smile.

His face distorted into one of confusion as he shook his head.

"It's okay," I told him. "I've always known I wasn't quite right." I chuckled under my breath and began to relive a moment in seventh grade when my first real crush told me I was on the AM frequency, but he interrupted me.

"Bella," he whispered solemnly; although his voice was almost too low to hear, I immediately trailed off. He shook his head, confused and uncertain, before continuing softly. "You're perfect."

Several awkward minutes followed as I looked at our fingers, still tangled together. I wasn't sure when it had happened, but this was entirely new ground for me. I had known that he couldn't feel for me what I had begun to feel for him, but in that moment, I was certain that there was something.

I kept my gaze on our hands, wrapped tightly around one another, and tried to pinpoint the moment that my feelings for him had shifted to something…_ more_. It was silly; I didn't even know him, really. What I knew was that he was a vampire and that he was damaged, possibly beyond repair. And I was confident that Jasper and Alice knew of my growing infatuation. How long they had known, I couldn't be sure, but they knew.

As my feet began to tingle from the ever cooling temperature, I stood, unsure of what I should do about my revelations. I decided immediately to ignore them; to put them on the back burner for now, at least until my vampire was capable of having a real conversation about it.

If he couldn't read my mind, surely my feelings would be safe inside my head and things could continue as normal, right? I had to hope so. He wasn't ready for anything more, and of that, I was absolutely certain.

"Thank you," I finally said, reaching over for a towel. I knew it was getting late, my feet were practically numb from the position I had been holding. I dried off my legs and stepped onto the rug, handing him the towel. He watched me intently for several seconds before following suit and stepping from the tub.

As we gradually made our way back to the bedroom, I allowed myself to contemplate what I would do. _Would I lie in bed? _Could_ I lie in bed? _I wasn't ready for the dynamic to change, for the awkwardness that accompanied 'Bella has a crush' to set in, but I wasn't sure if I could continue how we had been, either. I walked to the side of the bed facing the window and sat at the edge, leaving room for my vampire to sit next to me. _My _vampire. I closed my eyes and took a breath, trying to keep my erratic heart from bursting from my chest.

Edward eyed me speculatively, his head angling toward me as he… _listened_. I knew this trick from my time with the Cullens. Emmett used my heartbeat against me on multiple occasions; I had learned early not to even bother to lie with this family nearby. Or play poker.

Instead of commenting, though, he walked to the window and looked over the yard.

"Why can't you read my mind?" I asked suddenly.

He turned slowly toward me and walked over, finally sitting in the empty spot next to me. He shrugged. "I don't know," he whispered, inhaling deeply.

I reached out impulsively and took his hand. _I could do this_, I decided. I could make it work until he was ready, and then… I would deal with it… _then_.

**

**Carlisle POV**

Shortly after Bella left on Thursday night, I headed upstairs. Alice gave me a slight nod of approval from across the room, unnoticed by anyone other than myself.

While I hadn't seen him at all since he fed, I couldn't help but hope that some headway had been made between us during that time.

As I reached the bedroom I tapped softly on the door, more out of courtesy than necessity. As I had expected, he didn't respond, so I carefully entered. I was met by a sharp growl as Edward pulled himself into a ball, but I knew this was coming; Alice had warned me of as much.

"How are you feeling, Edward?" His growling eased but he remained tightly curled, his body trembling violently. "Are you thirsty?" I asked, probing for any type of reaction from him.

He shook his head and pulled the blankets tighter to his chest, an act that served absolutely no physical purpose. I nodded. "Okay. Everything's alright?" He inhaled deeply and nodded, his expression tipping me off to his inner anguish. I tried to calm my thoughts; to be less of a doctor, to be more of a friend.

I quickly inspected the room, my eyes immediately falling on the little book that sat next to the bed. _Much Ado About Nothing._ I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. _Predictable_. I knew instantly who was responsible for this choice. "Have you read this?" I asked.

He nodded.

I made my way over the window and examined the yard. It was pitch black, but I had no trouble making out each detail of each tree in sight. This room truly had a magnificent view.

_How would you feel about taking a shower? _I knew Alice had brought in clean clothes yesterday, but as far as I could tell, they were still unused. If he was going outside more often, it would become increasingly necessary for him to wash away the filth of the human world in regular intervals. Esme had requested that I try today; I couldn't bring myself to argue.

"I won't force you to_._" I couldn't imagine ever gaining his trust if I continued to presume to know what was best for him. Physically, he was older than half of the family. _I'd like you to try, though._

I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, picking up the book and leafing through the pages. Hesitantly, I reached my hand out, letting it rest lightly on his leg. He was buried in the blankets, but I could feel the tremors running through his body at the contact. "It's okay," I whispered. _You're safe here._

I removed my hand and resumed flipping through the pages.

"Will you try?" I asked, standing as I replaced the book to the nightstand, and gestured for him to join me. I knew it was necessary to maintain low expectations, as I could predict that his trust in me had not yet reached a point in which he would allow this, but I had to try nonetheless.

He inhaled deeply, his trembling audible with his breath, and curled himself up tighter.

I nodded to myself, anticipating as much, and moved to the bathroom. I turned on the water and adjusted the pressure, making the spray as light as possible, and went back to the bedroom. When his eyes finally met mine, I deliberately went through the motions in my mind, instructing him. I replayed it all several times, the only encouragement I could think to offer him, assuring him all the while that we meant him no harm.

_You don't need to be afraid_. "I promise you… we're not going to let anyone hurt you."

He inhaled again and loosened his body as the shower ran steadily in the adjacent room. _I'll give you some privacy_.

I turned and left the room, closing the door behind me.

I could hear the shower running, just as I could hear each timid footstep in the direction of the bathroom. A large part of me wanted to go to him, to encourage him as Bella would, to _show_ him that we meant him no harm, but he needed to do it. I waited outside the room, listening as the sounds of his footsteps changed, signifying his entrance into the bathroom. His movements were becoming more hesitant as he neared the shower.

I could hear each step of his inner struggle; he was having an excruciatingly difficult time. As the minutes progressed, his fear continued to escalate. His breathing was erratic and deep, the soft vibration of his trembling increasing steadily. I waited by the bedroom door, willing to intervene only if absolutely necessary; I didn't want to wander too far just yet.

Suddenly, I felt a bout of calmness encompass me, his frantic breaths becoming more regular with Jasper's aid.

When I finally heard the steady slap of the water hitting his body, I retreated slowly toward the study. I could still hear everything perfectly from here and would know if anything was to go wrong, but I had a fresh stack of files to go through and I wasn't convinced that I had unlimited time to solve this mystery.

**

When a frantic Alice appeared in front of me hours later, I immediately knew something wasn't right.

"What is it?" I asked alarmed, but forcing myself to remain calm despite her outward anxiety.

"They're coming."

I immediately felt a brief pang of panic before regaining my composure. I expected that his captors would find him eventually and thus had been developing contingency plans, but they were not fully prepared. I systematically began compiling a list of what needed to be done before they arrived. Whoever _they_ were. Bella was the most crucial element. Although they likely had little interest in her, I didn't doubt their willingness to overlook civilian casualties in recapturing their test subject. She would need to–

"Not _them_." Alice interrupted my quickly escalating dread.

My eyes snapped up to meet hers. "Alice, now isn't the time for cryptic. _Who_ is coming?"

Her eyes went blank for several seconds while she confirmed our future. "The Volturi," she said decisively.

My head immediately fell into my hands. _It could be worse_, I repeated mentally, a small part of my mind processing all the ways in which this was _good_ news. The undeniable conclusion was that it wasn't good news.

"The guard?" I asked.

"And Aro," she replied.

"Aro? He's coming…_ here?_" I had anticipated a phone call – I had even anticipated an escort – but to have Aro planning a visit to Forks was something I never would've foreseen if not for my psychic daughter. She nodded.

"When?"

"Soon. He's not _ready_, Carlisle."

"I know. Can we stall them?"

She pulled out her cell phone and handed it to me. "If we act quickly, _maybe_ we can stall them. They caught wind of what's going on, they're coming here to –"

I took the phone. "I know," I answered. I knew exactly what they were coming here for.

**Bella POV**

By the time Friday rolled around I had given in to the fact that I had no choice but to attend the dance. I briefly contemplated accidentally taking another spill, if for no other reason than to get out of it, but as it turned out, Alice was keeping a close watch on me. I knew that with her supervision I would have no chance of escaping the ghastly event that was senior homecoming.

As per my specific set of directions, I arrived at the Cullens' promptly at four. Alice told me I could have until 4:30 with Edward before she would drag me kicking and screaming into her bedroom. I hadn't even seen the dress I would be wearing and frankly, as long as it adhered to the set of guidelines I had provided her a week earlier, I didn't necessarily care what it looked like. I wasn't trying to impress anyone.

I moved gleefully up the staircase, happy to be free for another weekend. Continuing as if nothing was different had turned out easier than I thought it would. On Thursday we spent the day on the balcony, reading through the book that Alice had left him. I told him all about the time my mother and I waited for seven hours in Central Park for tickets to see that show, and I spent the rest of the time telling him about all of the places I've visited. While it was a short list, I was able to recall each trip with perfect detail.

Over the past two nights, when I had time to reflect, I realized that there were a million ways this could end badly and really only one way for it to work out. The odds were stacked heavily against me, and on top of it all, I had no idea what Alice was still hiding from me. But for her to keep it hidden could only mean one thing; it wasn't pretty. With that in mind, I was able to somewhat detach myself from my fairytale romance I had begun dreaming about; at least while I was at the mansion.

As I continued ascending the stairs, I began to try to calm myself. I believed that he couldn't read my mind, but I knew that my heart rate and my blood flow too often gave me away. I took deep, calming breaths in stride with my steps as I neared the landing.

Slowly, I peeked my head into the doorway, and for the first time since I had met him, he didn't growl at my entrance.

He was lying on his side facing the window, his knees pulled tightly to his chest, only a very small quiver visible to me.

"Hey," I greeted softly as I walked over to the foot of the bed. I slid onto the mattress and back to the pillow, lying down next to my vampire. "How're you?"

He turned to face me, pulling his knees in tighter, as a sad smile played on his lips. I looked him over, as I did every other afternoon, and immediately noticed the difference; he had changed. He now wore the fresh clothes that Alice had laid out for him on Wednesday night; his hair far more disheveled than I was used to it being.

"You changed," I said, smiling despite our anxiety. He nodded, his hands finally loosening from their position around his knees. I reached out and let the back of my fingers graze his shoulder, tracing his arm down to his wrist. "Are you alright?" I finally asked. Something still wasn't right; he was more edgy than usual.

He swallowed and inhaled, his shivering easing slightly, as his body slowly uncoiled. He slowly raised his hand to my arm, gently trailing his shaking fingers down my forearm. His cool touch elicited a slight tremor from my body, followed by something that can only be described as tingling. It felt wonderful. I smiled as he held my arm, outlining the veins that ran the length of my wrist. I had done this to him countless times before; I tried not to read too far into it.

To fill the silence that accompanied his inspection, I began talking about the sixth grade sock hop. I told him about _The Outsiders_ and the accompanying dance that the teachers felt compelled to throw for each sixth grade class. I told him that I had been deemed a "greaser" and about the extravagant attire that my mother had too much fun preparing for me. I couldn't help but wonder what Alice had in store for tonight.

As if on cue, my vampire growled softly in time with a quick rap at the door. Alice poked her head in briefly and pointed to her watch, shooting me her death glare before exiting again.

"I guess I better get going," I said, finally pulling away. His increased anxiety was making me wary of leaving, but I knew Alice wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'll come in before I leave."

**

It was official; Alice had gone overboard.

Individually, everything was pretty enough. It wasn't exactly appropriate attire for a high school homecoming in the gymnasium, but each individual piece was elegant and classy. The dress was less modest than I'd have chosen, a deep blue v-neck that showed more of my skin than I cared to reveal, but it wasn't tacky. It was knee-length, fitted to my waist then flowing outward.

The shoes, however, were some sort of deathtrap from hell. Coupled with an hour's worth of hair and makeup, and I felt like a life-sized Barbie-doll. I could only imagine how utterly ridiculous I looked, as Alice was keeping me far away from any reflective surface, and my imagination was running wild.

After two hours of primping, she finally released me, dragging me into the bathroom with her.

I gaped at my reflection for several minutes before finally picking my jaw up off ground. She had done… well. Alice's many talents had never ceased to amaze me, and as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I had to add another one to the list.

"Well?" she asked hopefully. I smiled and nodded my approval, carefully maneuvering myself out of the bathroom. The heels would be an issue before the end of the night, I was sure of it. But I'd deal, if for no other reason than the look of sheer joy on Alice's face at her handiwork.

She sat on the bed next to Jasper and Emmett and together, they appraised me. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks but still turned when directed, less than enthusiastic but not completely stoically. Jasper and Emmett whistled simultaneously as I laughed nervously. My cheeks were on fire.

"Shouldn't we be going?" I asked. Alice looked at Jasper slyly before turning back to me.

"I need to go help Rose get ready – we'll come get you when it's time," she said, springing to her feet. Jasper shook his head and followed behind her while Emmett stood and shrugged, offering me his elbow.

I looped my arm through it and we walked out together, but as we passed the door to my room, Emmett released me.

"I think Alice will be a while," he began, "If you wanted to say 'goodbye' or… something." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively and chuckled, before heading back in the direction that Alice and Jasper had gone.

I opened the door slowly and looked in to find my vampire standing by the window, watching the last remnants of the sun disappear for the night. Carefully, I made my way to him, avoiding any possible obstacles. When I reached the bed I knelt down and removed the heels from hell, pushing them out of the way before clearing the distance to Edward. He was still shaking as he looked down at me, clearly more anxious than normal, even for him.

He turned to me and, as I knew of no other way to comfort him, I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. He slowly raised his arms to encircle my shoulders and tightened our embrace. My cheek lay flat against his chest as we held one another, his breathing still deep and troubled.

I'm not sure how it started, but slowly, we began swaying side to side. I felt the tears begin to pool in my eyes as Edward and I danced, our hold on each other growing impossibly tighter; stronger. I knew what we were doing couldn't _actually_ be considered dancing, but the sentiment was there; no dance tonight would even come close to topping this silent sidestepping.

His hands were shaking on my back, his cheek resting lightly on my head. My hands were shaking as well, but I guessed that it was for a very different reason.

We continued moving in time with one another. The actions were natural, somehow… _fitting_. I knew we didn't have long, and as much as I didn't want to ruin the moment with words, there was something I needed to know.

"What's wrong?" I whispered quietly as we swayed slowly.

A quiet knock on the door signified the end of our time, though. Reluctantly, we loosened our embrace and moved to the bed. He immediately curled on his side, wrapping the blanket tightly over his shoulders. I laid my hand lightly on his trembling cheek, unsure of what I could possibly do to make this any better for him; unsure of what the problem was to begin with.

"Please tell me what's wrong." I knelt down on the floor next to the bed, my dress flowing freely around me, as I ran my fingers slowly through his hair.

He swallowed visibly, his shaking increasing with his fear. After several silent minutes, he finally spoke. "They'll find me," he whispered, his fingers trembling around mine. "They won't stop," he looked out the window, fear written plainly on his face. "They'll never stop… until they find me."

"The Cullens will protect you," I whispered, leaning slowly toward him. I took it slowly, watching his face for some sign that I should stop. As I neared his face he closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, relaxing himself. I pushed his hair off of his forehead slowly, and as lightly as I could possibly manage, I allowed my lips to brush his forehead. "They'll protect you," I said again as I pulled back.

He looked petrified, and in that moment, I knew there was no way I was going to the dance. "I'll be right back," I said, quickly walking into the hallway.

Alice was already waiting, leaning against the wall and shaking her head knowingly. "If you think that you're getting out of prom," she chuckled under her breath as she straightened. "You've got another thing coming."

**

**A/N**: Reviews keep me happy. Let me know how I'm doing :)

I'm sure I forgot plenty of what I wanted to say. I'm sorry for that.

********* To be clear, for those readers not familiar with the typical u.s. high school dance setup -- this was homecoming. she's not going; Alice referenced prom, which comes in the spring.... So, Alice saying "You're not getting out of prom," is NOT Alice giving Bella trouble about missing homecoming*********


	17. The Party

**A/N**: Sorry about the wait... r/l fail.

Last chapter Alice didn't make Bella go to the dance -- she was referencing prom, which is a different dance. It was her way of giving her approval for Bella missing homecoming.

As always, thanks to Jilburfm for being an amazing beta and OCD for validating like THAT *snaps fingers*

I sucked hard at responding to reviews. I apologize. To ALL reviews: THANK you from the bottom of my heart :) I love them so much.

**

**Bella POV**

My body jerked upright and I gasped for breaths, my hands aimlessly prodding every surface in their reach. I swiped my palm across my forehead, scrunching my nose at the unattractive sheen of sweat that was covering my brow.

With squinted eyes, I quickly surveyed the woods visible from my bedroom window. Just because I couldn't see any danger, I remained unconvinced that it wasn't out there.

Jesus. I was turning into a bigger wreck than Edward.

A quick glance at the clock told me it was just shy of six. It was still too early for Charlie to be awake, but given the speed at which my heart was beating, it seemed useless to try to sleep again. With a groan, I pushed the covers off of myself and stood, stretching and heading straight for the shower.

By the time I was done preparing, Charlie had awoken and taken root downstairs. As the familiar banging of pots and pans began to resonate from the kitchen, I flinched, closing my eyes and shaking my head dejectedly. As much as I loved spending my birthday morning with him, I'd have preferred to be left in charge of the cooking. I could only imagine how this would turn out.

My phone buzzed next to me and I answered without checking, prepared for either Alice or Renee on the other end. It was Alice.

"Happy birthday Bella!" she sang.

**

**Alice POV**

As I got off the phone with Bella, I looked wistfully around the living room. Although it would be nothing bigger than the usual seven of us, she would only turn eighteen once, and I wanted to make sure it was properly handled; especially considering the visions I'd been having. If nothing changed, this would be her last birthday. And as much as Carlisle was trying to set her on a different path, so far, the vision had not been altered.

Curiously, I had seen it before. When Bella had first moved to Forks, I had seen an eerily similar picture. It was just a flash, but it was enough to have the family on edge. After we removed James from the picture, those peculiar images stopped presenting themselves. I had, possibly foolishly, attributed them to his desire for a mate. And for six months, the images remained obsolete, seemingly confirming my suspicions.

With the reemergence of the exact same picture, I was not going to sit back and let this birthday pass without recognition.

"We're going hunting," Esme interrupted my thoughts. _Of course you are_. I smiled and nodded, continuing my inspection of the room. _Flowers_, I tapped the end table lightly, running my fingers along the edge. _And the cake_…

"Will you be alright to do the decorating, Alice?" Jasper whispered as he crept up behind me, enclosing me in his arms. I nodded contently, knowing I wouldn't _actually_ be alone. Kissing my neck, he released me and quickly spun my body to face him. "You're sure you don't need help?"

I shook my head and pulled myself away from him. "Positive. Go hunt so we don't have any birthday mishaps."

He sighed and shook his head, clearly not entertained by my teasing. He kissed me briefly on the cheek turned to leave. Emmett and Rosalie followed, leaving Carlisle and Esme lagging briefly. I rolled my eyes.

"I feel so badly leaving you with all the work," Esme began, picking up the rag and running it lightly over the piano.

"It's not work." She knew this already, though. This was typical Esme behavior. "And don't feel bad, I think I'll have company." I dramatically rolled my eyes, wondering if things would really work out as I had seen them.

Carlisle cocked his head to the side and looked at me pensively, his eyebrows knitting together as he considered what I was implying. "_Really?"_ he finally asked, surprise lacing his tone.

I nodded and began moving toward the door, eager to stop wasting time and start preparing for the party. There really was a lot to do, and I knew I couldn't count on him to actually _help_.

"Alice," Carlisle said, as Esme left to catch up with the others. "Everything will go okay?"

I nodded. I didn't see much trouble brewing; it actually looked like the afternoon would be more or less relaxed.

"Be careful?"

"Of course I will be," I answered, turning back toward the living room. Carlisle closed the door, leaving me alone with Edward for a day of party setup.

**

I crept slowly up the stairs, considering where I should let my thoughts go. Part of me wanted to chant, _I come in peace_, repetitively, but I inevitably decided that would do more harm than good.

As calmly as possible, I ascended the staircase. I stood at the bedroom door, quickly checking to see what I would be met with. As the vision played out without a hitch, I knocked quietly. I knew there wouldn't be an answer, just as I knew that he was already aware of my presence, but I knocked anyway.

I opened the door only slightly, peering through the small crack that I made. The visions were coming as quickly as they were playing out, which kept me a step ahead of where I needed to be and helped instill a sense of confidence in me that I otherwise would not have had. I didn't know how Bella did this everyday – it was intense, even knowing that he wouldn't attack.

But then again, Bella knew he wouldn't attack her, as well.

I smiled at the images that my brain automatically pulled up. The bed, the balcony, the yard. Leave it to Bella to fall in love with a vampire.

His growling abruptly stopped and his gaze bore into mine. The intensity made me want to flee; he was looking right through me, scrutinizing everything about me with that one powerful stare. I forced my feet to remain planted as we continued this wordless conversation, unsure of what I had done to warrant such a reaction. Like a wrecking ball, it hit me; the mind reading.

I reconsidered what I had thought about, what had gained his attention, and knew implicitly that it was my commentary on Bella's feelings. _Shoot. Shoot, shoot, shoot. _Honestly, I hadn't meant to out her already, as she likely hadn't even come to terms with her own emotions –

I cut myself short. The mind reading. It was more difficult than I would've guessed – keeping my thoughts in check. He continued to stare at me as I tried to get my own mind under control. I was failing miserably – outwardly composed while inwardly floundering around. Of course, the fact that I could keep myself composed on the outside meant absolutely nothing in this company; I would have to work hard at maintaining my thoughts in his presence.

"How close do I have to be for you to… hear me?" I asked, my mind instinctually checking my future for his answer. Blank. I shook my head and moved closer, my palms up and facing him in a futile attempt to gain his trust. I sat at the far corner of the bed, crossing my legs underneath me, and tangled my hands together in my lap. On the opposite corner, Edward arms began to tremble around his knees. The reemergence of his growl didn't surprise me, but rather reminded me to be cautious. We didn't exactly have all day, but if he wasn't ready, he wasn't ready.

I changed my tactic, hopeful to elicit some sort of response. "Do I have to be in the same room as you?" I asked. He pulled himself into a sitting position and rested his cheek on his knee, his bright eyes still gazing directly into mine. He swallowed once and shook his head, closing his eyes and flinching lightly as he answered my question.

I decided to be bold, while he was being forthcoming. "Do you know who did this to you?"

_Blank_.

His forehead creased as he considered my words, his eyes darkening before mine. I could see that his breathing was off tempo; faster than I was used to hearing from him and steadily increasing. He closed his eyes and his mouth set into a deep frown, his shaking frame rigid and terrified. I expected as much; it led me to believe that he did remember. Although I anticipated that only Bella would get it out of him, he knew.

"I need to go get the house ready for Bella's party," I said with a smile, rising and moving around the bed. He watched me closely as I made the shift, finally stopping when I was at his side. I reached my hand toward his but didn't initiate actual contact.

He regarded my fingers as if they were piranhas, ready to snap at him at any given opportunity. A laugh escaped me at the imagery.

I pulled my hand back and gradually moved away.

"You should come downstairs – see the house," I whispered as I retreated. "No one's home – and I could use some company. Besides, I wanted to talk to you a bit, if you wouldn't mind." He watched me, confused at my speech, as he slowly calmed down. I continually checked his future to see if he'd come, and just as I reached the door, it changed.

I hesitated, unsure of whether my indecision would change things again, and looked back at him over my shoulder. He was uncoiling himself, watching me intently as he did so. He pushed the blanket off of his lap and quietly stood, making his way toward me with in small, fearful steps.

I smiled in encouragement and pulled the door open further before walking through. I heard, rather than saw, his sharp intake of breath before he followed suit. His shoulders were trembling, and I knew of no way to calm him. I reached out instinctively, dubiously, keeping my eyes on his as my hand neared his shoulder.

_I won't hurt you_. His shaking frame was retreating closer to the wall as I made my approach, so I backed up, opting to let him follow on his own volition. If he didn't want to, I wouldn't force it. I knew that, if what I had seen last night had been accurate, he'd follow, but I also knew that we still had some wiggle room in getting him more comfortable. Carlisle had convinced Aro to keep the Guard from coming immediately, so they wouldn't be making their appearance for almost four weeks. I nodded my head at my internal confirmation and began moving toward the staircase.

I could see that he would follow, he just needed time to adjust; and he adjusted better when he was alone. I moved quickly, making it to the living room and resuming the first task on a long list of things that needed accomplished today. I picked up the rag and began cleaning every surface, watching the future and listening to the present as I worked.

As he made his way down the stairs he took in each photo that Esme had hung on the wall. They were an eclectic assortment of photographs that documented our history, focused largely on the decades we had spent as one unit. There were times in which some of us would separate from the family, but invariably we would find our way back together not long afterward. As he looked through the pictures, I considered each one, effectively passing on their stories to him.

When I felt he was nearing the landing I slowed my movements, unsure of how to make the transition as smooth as possible. By the time he was in my line of sight I had stopped cleaning altogether and was frozen in place, watching different futures arise as quickly as they faded. I suspected the end result would be as similar for any, but I didn't want to chance an altercation with Edward. I smiled warmly as our eyes met; his somewhat akin to a deer in headlights.

I moved to the couch and sat down, gesturing him over with one hand. "Has Bella shown you around yet?" I asked. He ignored me, instead eying the room skeptically for something that might harm him. I channeled whatever patience I had and watched him take in his surroundings, before he tentatively moved to the couch.

He sat down at the far end, using very calculated motions, seemingly waiting for something to strike.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded and let out a long, quivering breath. Unsure of how I wanted to proceed, I thought back to Bella's usual course of action. In the back of my mind I noted the irony of looking to Bella for advice, but really, she was the only one who had been able to reach him so far. If any of us were going to make any headway, her example was probably the best we had to go off of. As silly as it had seemed at the time, I remembered the night that she and Esme had given him a blanket. I'm sure every one of us had scoffed at their efforts, but in this moment, I knew of no better way to comfort him.

I reached behind me and grabbed the blanket, hesitantly handing it to him. He took it quickly and immediately wrapped it around his shoulders, clutching the excess fabric tightly in his hands. His shaking let up some as he found some form of security. Smiling, I brought my own knees to my chest and reached out to his leg. He flinched violently when my hand made contact, but he didn't make any other move to stop me. I thought about withdrawing, but as he calmed, I opted to leave my hand where it was for the time being.

As he adjusted to my touch his breathing slowly came down. I was unsure of whether talking would help at this point, so instead, we sat in complete silence as he gradually relaxed.

The list of things that needed done was still long, so I eventually stood and went back to dusting.

As I prepared for the party, I talked incessantly about nothing in particular. Edward didn't talk, but he still seemed keenly interested in everything that I was saying, so I happily continued rambling about the family. I spent a large chunk of time filling crystal bowls with rose petals while explaining who the Volturi were. It was only a matter of time until he would find out first hand, but I figured now was as good a time as any to get the foundation built.

I explained the spoken and unspoken rules of the vampire world. The only direct rule we were each required to obey was to keep the secret of our nature from humans, but there were several indirect rules that supplemented this. To control our hunting, for instance, was always necessary, as too much hunting in a small range inexorably created suspicion among humans.

Edward surprised me when, as I explained the possible punishments for breaking the rules, he spoke. "Will she… be okay?"

I stood still, pondering his question. Of course, Bella was always a concern, especially with the Volturi coming _here_. We hadn't figured out the finer details yet, but we didn't think they would be terribly interested in Bella either way. With the nature of their visit being Edward's history, if we could keep the focus off of Bella it might turn out alright. Of course, there was the matter of the law.

"Well," I began, choosing my words carefully. We knew the Volturi had a staff that consisted largely of humans, so there were clearly exceptions to their rules. "I don't see anything bad happening to Bella," I concluded, leaving it at that. Of course, I wasn't getting more than brief flashes of what was to come yet, but the one constant that remained was the image of Bella and me. Surely if that remained, the Volturi couldn't be too large a problem.

I resumed decorating and talking about them, explaining what we knew regarding the nature of their visit and how we expected it to go. When I told him they were coming to investigate, he seemed unsurprised yet still somehow afraid. I tried to quell his fear, as adding to his already constant stream of terror really wouldn't do any good, but it didn't help. Either way, I knew at this point the family would do everything we could to protect him; Carlisle had quickly grown attached to him, Esme couldn't turn her back on anyone, and Bella… Bella would kill us if we let anything happen to him.

I heard the front door open as soon as I saw it, Carlisle beelining for the living room but stopping short at the archway. His eyes immediately went to Edward then back to me. "Oh," he said, running his hand through his hair nervously. Carlisle rarely displayed uneasiness, but it was clear in the moment that he was faltering. "Do you… want us to go?"

I rolled my eyes and began to speak, but was interrupted by Emmett, who quickly bound into the room. I held the crystal vase that I had been working on still in my hands, tightening my grip as not to drop it. Carlisle and I both watched him wide-eyed as he flipped on the TV and quickly made his way to the couch. I chanced a glance at Edward, who had curled himself further but was still in no position to attack. Although I thought about warning Emmett, the future seemed to indicate that this would be okay.

He was almost all the way to the couch before he noticed Edward, tightening his grip on his knees and looking absolutely terrified.

"Oh, hey dude," Emmett said, extending a fist in Edward's direction. "Sorry, didn't see you…" He kept his arm outstretched, just feet away from Edward's face, as they both stared at his balled fingers. I couldn't help myself – a chuckle escaped me.

"Emmett," Carlisle chided, entering the room slowly.

Emmett kept his gaze locked on his un-pounded fist for several seconds before finally dropping his arm to his side and plopping down on the couch. Edward growled softly, his gaze remaining fixed intently on our burly brother.

They stared at one another for several minutes before Emmett flipped to ESPN, turning to Edward solemnly and nodding his head decisively. "The Buckeyes got this," he spoke in a low voice, turning his attention back to the TV. Hesitantly, Edward's eyes followed Emmett, the look of absolute confusion forcing another laugh to escape me. This time, Carlisle couldn't hold back his chuckle.

"Do you need me to do anything?" he asked, examining my work around the room. It was almost five, the cake would be ready and Bella was set to head over at six.

"Actually," I said, "can you go pick up the cake?"

Carlisle nodded as I handed him the information, grabbing his coat and heading back for the door.

**

**Bella POV**

At 5:45, with my overnight bag in tow, I kissed Charlie goodbye and headed to the Cullen's.

I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I had hope that someone was able to contain Alice. I was only mildly nervous as I drove the winding roads to the mansion, wondering what this 'party' could possibly involve.

When I got to the mansion, I was pleased to find that outside, there wasn't much different. There were big ribbons tied around the trees that lined the driveway, but other than that, there were no outward signs of any impending festivities. I half-expected twinkle lights to be scattered mercilessly about, so I was pleasantly surprised.

Alice was already waiting outside when I exited the truck, bounding over to me and pulling me into a tight hug before I could even grab my bag. I laughed nervously, combing my fingers through my hair.

"You look nice," she said with a knowing smile as she spun me in all directions. "You didn't need to get all dressed up for _me_, Bella!" I glowered at her while she laughed at herself. "How does it feel to be eighteen?"

With a sigh, I reached across the cab and grabbed my bag, dropping it to my feet as I locked the door. "I feel _old_," I said, leading the way into the house.

"Well, you've got another year before you catch up to me," she responded happily, grabbing my bag and placing it in the corner of the foyer.

"Come, come!" She grabbed my wrist and started leading me to the living room. I followed willingly, having believed that I wouldn't see my vampire until later anyway.

When I walked in, the onslaught of pink and red and white hit me and I immediately spun around, taking in the whole room. Alice had gone overboard, just as I knew she would, and it was beautiful. I couldn't agree that it was necessary, since all of the guests lived in the house, but it was breathtaking nonetheless.

There was a small pile of presents on the table next to a rather daunting cake, all of which were presumably for me. There was no way I'd let one of them subject themselves to cake on behalf of birthday traditions. A mixture of embarrassment and awe crept into me as I hugged each member of my second family, all whispering words of encouragement and love and hope.

When I got through the pool of family that was waiting for me, my eyes immediately found the little white couch, and my vampire watching me intently from his position there. For a moment, I thought my imagination was betraying me… I wasn't sure what to make of it, how long had he been there? I looked to Alice for the answers but she simply pushed me forward, encouraging me to go to him.

Keeping our eyes locked, we simultaneously inhaled deep breaths, the rest of the world fading beyond him and me. I was suddenly happy for the decision to wear my hair down and the slightly less-casual blouse I had chosen for the evening. I bit my bottom lip as I approached him and he took another shaky breath, standing from his position on the couch.

He took one step to meet me and my arms tangled around his waist as I pressed my face flat against his chest. I could feel his cheek resting on my head as he tightened his shaking arms around me, my heart beating erratically out of my chest.

"Happy birthday, Bella," he whispered lowly into my ear, the tremble in his voice offsetting the intensity of his words. I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes, threatening to spill if he continued, and as he pulled me tighter still, they began to fall freely down my cheeks.

"Th… thank you," I replied, clasping my hands behind his back. I couldn't tell if we stood there for seconds or minutes, or what any other person in the room was doing at that moment. Eventually, he pulled away, smiling down at me with a perplexed look on his face. I wiped my hand over my eyes, setting loose a few more tears before finally getting myself under control.

We sat down on the couch together and I finally chanced a peek around the room. The other Cullens had all conveniently disappeared during our embrace, but I could see Alice covertly peeking around the corner. I laughed and sniffled at the same time, gesturing her to come back in.

"You two done yet?" she asked with a smile, making her way tentatively to the couch. She pulled me up as the others came back, and together, we headed toward the little present table.

I opened each present with deliberate concentration, giving Alice the reactions she was longing for. She took pictures of everything, bouncing up and down with each reveal. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper got me a CD player for my truck. Esme and Carlisle got me a ticket to Florida to see Renee. Alice gave me an iPod filled with her favorite songs.

I ate cake while everyone watched. We spent the bulk of the evening sitting in the living room talking about nothing important, just behaving as any normal group of friends would. Edward remained curled on the couch, the trembling only visible when he was startled. He kept his focus on Carlisle for the most part, watching each of his actions intently throughout the entire night. I could feel that he was tense, but he kept his growling to a minimum, instead clutching my hand tightly throughout the entire evening.

By the time nine o'clock rolled around I was exhausted, having not slept much the previous night. After I thanked the family again, Edward and I made our way back upstairs and I quickly kicked off my shoes. I stretched my feet for several minutes as Edward moved to the window, inspecting the dark yard. I took the opportunity to get ready for bed, heading to the bathroom to change out of my nicer clothes.

When I returned he was just as I had left him, his palm laid flat against the panel of glass. I crept over to him and placed my hand on top of his, letting our outstretched fingers curl around one another. For several seconds, he continued gazing out the window, before finally turning his attention back to me. He flipped his hand to grasp mine, and together, we moved back toward the bed.

"Did you have a good time?" I asked.

He smiled in response. "Did you?"

"I think it was more for Alice than for me," I began. "She loves any excuse for a party…"

Several silent moments followed as we both collected our thoughts before I finally broke it. "I had a great time," I whispered, moving to sit on the edge of the mattress.

"You were downstairs," I remembered, absently rubbing my thumb along his veins. "And you were okay." I smiled widely at the image, searching his face for his reaction. He nodded, the corners of his lips turning up as he watched me.

"I didn't want to miss your party," he whispered, clasping his hand tighter around mine.

"So you got to spend some time with Alice?"

He laughed under his breath, nodding knowingly.

"She's… energetic," I started, trying to find the proper words to explain Alice. "But she's my best friend."

"I know," he answered, his voice barely audible.

"What did you guys talk about?" I laughed at all the possibilities. Knowing Alice, there was likely an intense one-sided conversation about the joys of internet shopping.

He took a deep, thoughtful breath and turned his focus back to the window. He shook his head pensively before swallowing and looking down at me. "She wanted… to know who."

I sighed, falling back into the bed. It was the million dollar question, and it shouldn't have surprised me that Alice would press for the answer at any given chance.

Edward laid down as well, both of us turning so that we were righted on the bed, each of our heads resting on our own pillows.

"Do you not remember who?" I asked, sitting up slightly and pulling the blanket up over his body. I tucked it around him, putting as much of a barrier between us as I was willing to, before curling up against his frame.

Instinctively, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, and mine around his waist. I smiled against his chest, closing my eyes and relishing in the comfort that he offered me. I hadn't spent the night in a week; I had missed this more than I realized.

I felt him swallow, his lungs filling deeply as he prepared to talk. "I don't know…_ exactly_ who did it," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. He tightened his grip around my shoulders as his breathing and trembling increased slightly.

"I do know that it was a group of…" He inhaled deeply. "Humans," he said, his voice shaking as he exhaled. "It's just too much… right now. It's too much to think about," he finally whispered, his tone signifying the end of the conversation.

"It's okay." It was my turn to tighten my grip on him. He needed to feel protected; he needed to feel loved. "I'll be here when you're ready," I finished, curling my body to further form to his and closing my heavy eyes.

I didn't understand how any human could've kept him for so long. And I didn't know how they could capture a vampire. And I wasn't even sure how long we had before they came for him.

All I knew was that I absolutely and irrevocably loved Edward, and this was undoubtedly the best birthday I would ever have.

**

**A/N**: So it was humans. Review if you're surprised. Review if you already came to this conclusion. Review if you haven't cared. Or review if you're happy Bella has admitted to loving Edward! Or if you're sad.. dude.. just review! :)

Oh! And some pretty VITB art that a wonderful reader drew here---- this-issteph (dot) livejournal (dot) com


	18. The Jump

**A/N**: As always, thanks to OCD_Indeed for being the best validation beta EVER. And to Jilburfm for fixing all my commas and telling me when I use the same adverb 14 times.

To reviewers: I love you dearly. To those who question why he confirmed it was humans – there were a fair portion of people who thought otherwise. I decided to be explicit.

**

**Bella POV**

Three weeks had passed. Three weeks of staring out of windows, of curling up next to stone, of evenings filled with sunsets and fear.

I had promised Edward that I would be there when he was ready, and for the past nineteen days, we found ourselves at an impasse. Every day after school, I had come to this house to be with my vampire; to offer him whatever security I could and in turn, to experience the slice of paradise that accompanied spending time with him.

We hadn't come far in that time, but there was still steady progression on both of our ends. Although he made no effort to spend any more time downstairs, the few instances in which Alice would pop her head in, I could see his concentrated effort to keep himself under control.

It had been two weeks since my vampire growled at me at all. While I'd like to say that his growling had completely dissolved, all too often he would feel threatened, his eyes darkening slightly as he turned his focus to the door.

I was watching him heal before my eyes, though. Carlisle had taken to feeding him twice a week, and slowly, he was beginning to trust it. I still wasn't allowed near him when he fed, but on those nights, he was visibly less shaken by it.

It became a trend that I looked forward to. Every Monday and Thursday night when I would arrive I knew that my vampire was feeling slightly better. His eyes would take on a light tone and some of the sadness that perpetually plagued his features would be lifted. I had yet to see him smile truly and fully, but the half-grins and slight chuckles had become a treat that I was growing to adore. With every smile that crossed his face, I found mine automatically mimicking. Only with exponentially greater joy.

He still wasn't talking about what he had been through; he still wasn't leaving the bedroom on his own accord. But on several occasions, we would trek to the study and explore the annals that Carlisle had accrued. I found that my vampire carried little interest in the classics, but was completely taken by science and music. He had grown accustomed to my laptop and to the little iPod that Alice had gifted me for my birthday. I was constantly torn over whether to bring it home and fill it further or to leave it with him overnight. As it ended up, I left it for him, only taking time to add more songs on the weekends that we spent together.

There were several days in which Carlisle would enter the study during our investigations. I knew this couldn't be accidental, as nothing was coincidence in this family, and gradually, I watched my vampire warm up to him. Carlisle never stopped trying, no matter how reluctant Edward acted. He spoke to Edward as if they were equal, as if his opinions mattered and as if his thoughts were important. I loved him for it and I was pretty sure that Edward did too.

Still, there was an ever-present danger looming. As hard as I tried to push it from my mind, it was a constant struggle between me and the demons of his past. I was set to leave town next weekend, as Alice saw the Volturi coming. Apparently, with Aro's gift, it was impossible to keep my involvement with the family entirely under wraps, but they still requested that I be as far away as possible, should anything go awry. Alice didn't suspect that they would come to Florida after me, so to Jacksonville I would go.

Honestly, the thought of spending an entire weekend apart from him did evil things to my stomach. As much as I missed Renee, I knew that this would be difficult for him, and I couldn't help but wonder how much the Cullens were keeping from me.

They had explained that the Volturi shouldn't be a problem so long as they all cooperated, and that Edward should be safe enough. They also constantly promised to protect him to the best of their ability. I knew what that meant: if he died, they all died for him. I shuddered at the thought.

**

As I lay in bed with my vampire, the worst part of my day drawing near, I considered this for the ten thousandth time in the last weeks. I could feel the steady rhythm of his breathing under me, the cool air sweeping over my forehead with each exhale. I could feel his eyes on me as I curled against him, once again dreading leaving him.

It was ten-thirty on a Thursday night, my curfew extended one measly hour on account of my eighteenth birthday. A large part of me knew that I could get away with fighting it, that I was an adult and that if I had no other place to stay, the Cullens would accept me. At least I hoped they would. But, to be honest, Charlie was handling my unexplained absence better than I could have ever hoped. I had to give him credit for trying. He kept his complaints about my weekends away to a minimum, and I didn't want to ruin the good terms we found ourselves under. Plus, that small piece of my mind continued to wonder if maybe one day Charlie wouldn't be a part of my life any more. I fought those feelings back, knowing the hope was wasted.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked hesitantly, pushing me back slightly so he could see my face. The fear in his voice never failed to break my heart, but I smiled back at him anyway. I shook my head, exhaling louder than necessary. I hated saying goodbye every night.

"I need to go soon," I whispered, bringing myself closer to him again. He nodded, having grown used to our routine over the past month.

I felt the soft growl before I heard the knock. His growling seemed more reflexive than anything, but there was still a clear warning in it. I was certain by this point that he knew it was just Alice, coming to tell me it was time to leave, yet still he growled. I smiled against his body. Despite the morbidity of the act, the constant rumbling in his chest had actually become kind of… endearing.

Alice peeked her head in. "It's 10:30," she said, quickly retreating. I had to give her credit – she never lingered at the end of the night. During the daytime she would occasionally come in, but when it was almost time for me to go home, she knew to give us space.

I pulled myself free from his arms and sat up, stretching in the process. Thursday night meant it was the last night I would spend alone before the weekend. It was always the light at the end of the tunnel, and my moods were marginally better than during our other goodbyes.

He sat too, slowly and deliberately, still uncomfortable acting on his own volition. I wished that he would somehow find comfort here, but I suspected it didn't matter where he was – he would need time no matter what.

I brought my hand to his face, grazing the backs of my fingers over his cheek. He leaned into my touch slightly and I smiled, elated with the small victory. Taking any little smile he gave me for granted would be a mistake that I wasn't willing to make. I pushed the stray hair off of his face, letting my fingers trail his jaw line in the process. I felt a small shiver run through him and closed my eyes hopelessly. He would never be completely comfortable with me; it was daunting.

He covered my hand with his as it lingered on his face, locking our fingers together, and slowly moved our hands so they were resting on his lap. He kept his gaze trained on them for several seconds, staring aimlessly at our clasped hands. He looked… confused, to say the least. His eyebrows had slightly pulled together and his forehead was creased as he focused on them. I wanted, more than anything in that moment, to know what was going through his head.

He looked up, our eyes finally meeting, and tentatively smiled. My features mirrored his as I stood; he remained perched on the edge of the bed, his head tilted backwards, keeping our eyes locked.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I whispered, reluctantly unwrapping our fingers. I calmly brought my hand to his neck, satisfying my ever growing need to touch his face. He closed his eyes and inhaled as I ran my fingers through his hair.

As I had done every night since homecoming, I leaned down slowly and gently pushed the remaining hair from his face before letting my lips graze his forehead.

I forced myself to back away then. I hated to admit, but it had become a struggle: wanting more and knowing I couldn't have it. It was too soon, too much, and too complicated to act on my irrational feelings, but I still couldn't quell the desire. So I retreated, abandoned ship, if just for the night so that I could regroup.

I smiled and bit my lip, whispering, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Bella," he responded quietly, rising slowly. I looked back briefly before I closed the door and saw him standing by the window, carefully inspecting the dark woods.

**

**Alice POV**

There are those days in Forks that just shock the hell out of you. Those days when the rain somehow decides not to fall, the clouds take root in another city, the fog is lifted and the sun somehow makes an appearance.

I sat at the bar in the kitchen looking longingly outdoors. The morning sun beat heavily through the open blinds, the resulting patterns across the countertop and floors brightening the place substantially.

Emmett came bounding in and plopped on the stool next to me. "Any plans today?" he asked happily. The funny thing about Emmett was that he really embraced the high school mentality. No one required him to ever go to school, but he joined in the merriment when we were forced to stay away.

I checked anyway.

"Nope," I said. He sighed and laid his head down on his hands.

"Wanna hunt?" he asked. I had hunted earlier this week. "Wanna play Monopoly?" I shook my head. "Wanna… watch a movie?"

I sighed. "I think I'm going to go see what Edward's doing," I decided on a whim. Instantly, the future changed. I watched it carefully, deciding if this visit was a good idea.

I stood and moved to the door, turning back to a very dejected-looking Emmett. "Are you coming?" I asked innocently.

He stood and followed me as we made our way to the living room cautiously, calmly, and keeping our thoughts as peaceful as possible.

Rosalie was there and waiting, though, so we stopped briefly.

"What are you guys doing?" she asked. Emmett shot me a stealthy glance that there was absolutely no way Rose would miss.

"Nothin'," he answered, shrugging his shoulders.

"Did you want to hunt?"

"Uhh," he started, looking at me once more. I had never expected that Emmett would make it out with us. I nodded my approval and continued toward the stairs. In the foyer lay the bags with my purchases from yesterday; mostly clothing but, in anticipation of future events, I had bought a new pair of shoes, as well. I grabbed the bag that held them and headed up the stairs.

When I got to the door I knocked softly before entering. He sat on the bed with whatever novel Bella had chosen for him this time, his shaking hand gripping the blanket tightly.

"What's up?" I asked, calmly making my way to the bed. "I have a present for you." He looked sort of reminiscent of a proverbial deer in the headlights. I had come in here several times now and he still showed no signs of being comfortable around me. _Did I give off scary vibes?_

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I smiled sheepishly. Controlling my thoughts was easier said than done. I had spent the greater part of the last three weeks trying to figure out a way to censor them, and still as soon as I entered the bedroom I failed.

If I hadn't been watching his face so intently, I'd have missed that slight twitch of his lips. He wanted to smile, but he was holding back. And that was okay, I could work with that.

I set the bag on the floor next to me and sat on the edge of the mattress, looking around the room awkwardly. Maybe it would've been better if Emmett had been here, after all.

After several long minutes of silently staring at one another, Edward turned his focus to the window.

"I was wondering if maybe…" His eyes immediately met mine and I knew he was reading my thoughts. I glowered at the wall. "…If maybe you wanted to head outside for a bit?"

He cocked his head to the side quizzically before returning his gaze to the window.

"You know… stretch your legs? Go for a run?"

His eyes remained focused on the back yard but I saw his head nod minutely, not in answer but in understanding.

"…if you want?" I continued aimlessly.

"I've never…" he began softly, just above a whisper. "I've never really run."

I nodded. I suspected this, as sad as the idea was; it didn't come as a surprise to me.

"Well, it's a sunny day, so I can't exactly go to class…"

He closed his eyes, his grip on the blanket finally loosening. I already knew he would agree, it was just a matter of how long I had to wait.

"How exactly does that work?" he suddenly asked. His eyes slowly opened and there were a million questions, plain as day in his features.

"It's guided largely by decisions," I began. "Mostly, I see what path people are on when they're on it. I can see where things will lead. When a decision is made that throws you off that path, it changes." I shrugged. Rarely did things stay exactly as I had seen them; I hated that my family put so much stock in my ability.

"And… Bella –"

"Yeah. I'm not sure what to make of that yet, but yeah, that'll be an issue at some point."

He paused, looking back to the window. He immediately brought his hand to his hair and slowly dragged it through. _Nervous habit?_

He smiled slightly and returned it to his lap, looking back to me. "You think," he began, clenching his jaw and inhaling deeply. "You think it's me? That I'll… that I'll do this?"

"I think…" _How to word this_? "I think that there's a good chance that you're the catalyst. I'm not sure that you'll be the one to _change _her, per se, but I don't think it's coincidence that the visions resurfaced when you showed up."

He nodded, considering. "How… how does it happen?" he asked tentatively.

"It's no easy task for us. It's our venom – it's poisonous to humans. If it gets into their bloodstream, it'll change them. The tricky part is not killing them, though."

"So… one of us…? Does this to her?"

"I don't know _how_ it happens to her. But yes, vampire venom is what causes the change…"

He closed his eyes and brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose.

"What about a syringe?" he finally asked, almost too silently for even _me_ to hear.

My confusion had to be apparent. _What a strange question_. "I suppose that would work. Why do you ask?"

He shook his head sadly and opened his eyes, a sad smile playing on his lips. "Just wondering, I guess."

It was a well known fact that lying wouldn't work on me. I guess he hadn't been around long enough to realize this yet. I shook my head knowingly.

His lips pulled up into his charming half-smile and he gradually moved to the edge of the bed. I stood, as well, and reached into the bag I had brought with me.

**

We stood in the mid-morning sunlight, the sun dancing off of our skin, as Edward calmed himself. I had been trying to keep my internal commentary to a minimum, but in these moments that he was learning his own body, I couldn't keep my thoughts under control. He'd been a vampire for almost a hundred years and didn't even know what it meant. Today he would learn, though. Hopefully.

I took some time to explain what I knew about why we sparkled. About the composition of our skin, the diamond-like quality each cell takes on when we change. He listened intently to my explanation as he maneuvered his arms, wrists and hands to watch the effects.

"It also makes us sort of indestructible," I added.

He scoffed slightly and continued his examination of himself.

"Our only guess is the starvation, Edward," I whispered, approaching him hesitantly. "We've never seen anything like what happened to you before, but Carlisle is still trying…"

He looked at me and shook his head timidly, retreating back to into his shell. I dropped it.

We walked in silence toward the woods. I could see his shuddering and I could hear the soft pang of his teeth against one another, but it wasn't violent. He was frightened, clearly, but not so much petrified as wary.

"So you've never run," I repeated his words from earlier as we made our way to the river. We stopped at the edge and I raised an eyebrow, waiting for his reaction.

"How?" he asked quietly.

"Well, we could swim," I started, although that really wasn't a reasonable option. "Or we could jump."

I looked into the future to help give him some confidence in his ability to do this. I watched it play out as I knew it would; he would be fine.

"Does it change? When you… do that?"

"I can usually manipulate things to go how I want them to." I shrugged; this was a fact. Self-fulfilling prophecy aside, I could generally use what I knew about the future to make it happen. No one had ever been able to actually _see_ what I saw, though. Showing him the vision to help it run its course was not something I was used to. It was interesting.

He smiled at that and nodded, accepting of my answer.

"How does yours work?" I asked nonchalantly as I leaned down, pulling a large rock into my hand.

His body tensed and swallowed, inhaling sharply.

"You don't have to answer." I held the rock out in front of him and with my finger and thumb, smashed it into dust.

I'm not sure which emotion was more prominent – shock, fear, or excitement – but several different reactions played out on his features.

"Can I…?"

I grabbed another rock and handed it to him. Putting way too much concentration and effort into his task, with a flick of his fingers the rock was obliterated.

He nodded his head, impressed with himself.

"It's amazing that you've managed not to hurt Bella." I had warned him early on, when I first learned of his mind reading ability, to be careful… but if he didn't even realize the true extent of his strength, it couldn't have been easy for him to control it.

"I won't… I won't hurt her. I won't."

"Oh, I didn't mean that. It's just… it's still hard – to always be aware of our own strength – even after all of these years of practice. I'm just surprised there haven't been any mishaps." I smiled at him and lithely jumped over the river.

It wasn't that the river was terribly narrow… it just wasn't an issue for us. We could jump much further than that if we needed to.

Apprehensively, he took a few steps backward. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath before lunging himself across the river. He landed way beyond me, and I quickly made my way toward him.

"Not so bad?" I asked playfully.

He shook his head, clearly amazed by what he had done. "Not so bad," he agreed softly.

He turned to me for directions on what the next order of business was. I shrugged, and asked, "What do you want to do?"

He shook his head nervously. Still so timid.

"Do you feel like going for a run?" I asked.

"Okay," he responded evenly.

"See if you can keep up?" I smiled at him, but clearly he wasn't feeling my teasing.

I prepared to start running. I didn't _actually_ have to prepare, but I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Then, like a rocket, I took off.

The wind whipped through my hair and smacked against my body as I ran. I kept it slow at first, making sure he was still with me. I continually checked the future to see that things were okay; they always were.

I could hear his steps somewhere in the distance, keeping several yards away from me but still letting me guide the direction. I needed to be careful; if there was ever a time that something could go very wrong, it was now. I didn't expect a common enemy to find us; no. What I needed to be careful of was that we stayed clear of any signs of humans, and that I kept him within my hearing range the whole time. If he bolted now, Bella would never forgive me. _I _would never forgive me.

_Faster? _We were still maintaining a relatively slow pace. It was quicker than any human would be capable of, but it was nothing compared to what we could do. Without another word, I picked up speed.

I could see him running parallel to me as we continued through the forest.

We were getting dangerously close to the treaty line, and I knew I needed to steer us away. We changed direction slightly and headed north, staying a few miles outside the line. I would explain it to him later.

Our pace continued to increase until I was running at full speed. Edward was having absolutely no problem keeping up, so I didn't slow down.

We kept that pace until we hit the Strait, before heading eastward then back south toward home. We ran on a different path toward Forks, both in silence, lost in our thoughts. I had a sneaking suspicion that he could go faster if he so chose, but he didn't break my top speed once.

When we reached the river I jumped it quickly; he followed with little hesitancy, his confidence in his abilities having increased exponentially during our run.

"You're fast," I observed, as he stopped before me.

There were no signs of trembling and few signs of the vampire that we had come to know. He was free, and he was finally getting a chance to realize that.

Still, he looked to me for instruction. "Ready to go back?" I asked, shrugging. It didn't really matter to me what we did, I'd have rather he indicated a preference, but Bella was at the house by now, so it was as good a suggestion as any.

He smiled somewhat warmly and nodded, cautiously following me as I turned to retrace our earlier path.

"What –" he began, cutting himself off. He took a hesitant breath and continued. "What is the treaty line?"

"A long time ago there were werewolves who lived here – back before Jasper and I joined the family. Carlisle and their leader made a deal – we're basically not allowed on their land and they're not allowed on ours. I'll show you where the line runs later on, but yeah. Just don't cross it and it's fine." I continued walking toward the house, Edward following closely behind me.

When we got home, the fear returned almost immediately. It wasn't as bad as it had once been, but the wariness of everything around him became visible once again. Until he spotted Bella.

She was sitting at the chess table with Jasper, Emmett at her side feeding her moves. Her hair was down and her shirt was fitted and petite. Silly Bella.

Edward looked at me, confused by my amusement, and I internally chided myself once more for my inability to control my thoughts.

"Hey Bella," I said as I came into the room. Edward paused by the door, uncomfortable in the situation as ever. He just needed time. After today, I was confident that he would be okay around us eventually.

Bella's head immediately snapped up at my greeting. She didn't make an effort to pretend she cared that I was there, but instead automatically looked past me to find _her_ vampire. Almost as if it was instinctual, a huge smile crept upon her face.

**

**Bella POV**

He stood in the doorway, his eyes fixed on mine as I searched them. He looked different. Not different, different. He was the same vampire that I knew and loved, but somehow, he looked… less sad.

I couldn't stop the smile that overtook my face in that moment, his resulting half smile causing strange things to stir inside me. When I got here this afternoon, I sort of hated Alice for making me wait. But now I couldn't hate her, I could kiss her. I could kiss her and hug her and be eternally indebted to her for making my vampire feel better. And I would. Later.

Right now I couldn't stop ogling Edward. I was vaguely aware of the fact that there were other people in the room, but I didn't care. I stood and cleared the distance between us quickly, tentatively reaching out my fingers to his. Always tentative. He flipped his hand and grasped mine, smiling warmly down at me.

"We're going to --" I started, but Alice interrupted.

"I know, I know. See you tomorrow?"

I nodded, and together, we headed up to our room.

**

**A/N**: The BELLIE Awards are accepting nominations again! (as of sometime on Monday!) Go nominate!

thecatt (dot) net – this should auto bring you to the award page!

Thanks so much for sticking with me through the R/L fail! I should be good to update regularly again after this one! Hopefully.. :)

Reviews are always appreciated!


	19. The Visit

**A/N**: Big thanks to OCD_Indeed for being an awesome validator.

And biggest thanks to Jilburfm for beta'ing this beast in awesome time! Ack.

Reviewers: Thank you so much for continuing to review even though I occasionally fail at responding, it means the world to me.

And lastly -- this chapter is at least double the size of normal chapters. Makes up for my update fail, no?

******

**The Visit**

**BPOV**

******

By the time Thursday rolled around, I had tried everything I could think of to get out of my trip. Renee had called me daily to make plans, arrange pickup, make sure I was bringing the right clothing and gush about her excitement over my visit.

It wasn't as if I didn't want to go to Florida. Or even that I didn't miss Renee. In truth, I missed Renee deeply and I wanted almost nothing more than I wanted to see where her life was leading. Yet, while she prattled on and on about beaches and restaurants that she wanted to bring me to, I found myself scouring my brain for different excuses to prevent the impending trip. I was coming up empty, though. At every turn, there was a roadblock in the form of Alice Cullen.

She was particularly adamant about my departure, and while I wasn't happy with the idea, I knew that there was no way that this would work for me.

As I drove to the mansion, I continued wracking my brain for plausible reasons to miss the trip. The air was thick around me and I knew a storm was brewing. Charlie had mentioned it was to storm all weekend, and that I had chosen a great time to go to Florida. I mentally disagreed.

I automatically pulled into the hidden driveway that I would've completely overdriven two months ago. As my truck puttered along the narrow lane of gravel, I realized it was all futile. There was no way I would be able to evade Alice. She was keeping close tabs on me, her arguments against my staying were sound and foolproof. I sighed dejectedly as I got out of the truck.

Honestly, my being here wouldn't actually benefit anyone. If it came to a fight or worse, my presence would only be a handicap. I kicked the innocent rocks that were ill-fated enough to rest in my path.

As I approached the porch, I tried to calm myself down. This would be the last time I would see him before I left. This could be the last time I would see him ever.

It was thoughts like those that had me so anxious to begin with. What if something went wrong? Of course, Alice assured me that everything would be fine, but the fact that even _I_ noticed the little differences in Carlisle's demeanor, the constant subtle glances around the room, Esme's excessively anxious hand movements and Alice's increased faux-giddiness told me otherwise. The Cullens were supposed to be my rock. They were supposed to make things work out, even when that wasn't possible. They were supposed to keep my vampire safe no matter what. And the fact that they were faltering could only mean one thing: they did not trust in their own ability to do so.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back, groaning at the uncertainty of the situation. My vampire was becoming more and more anxious as the week had progressed, but every time I would ask what was being kept from me, he'd shut down.

As his anxiety grew, so did mine. It only perpetuated the idea that the Cullens were hiding their concerns. They could hide nothing from Edward, though, and I watched first hand as the fear that had been fading from his eyes resurfaced. And I was wasting time being overly dramatic and pitiful. It was maybe my last few hours with my vampire and I was letting them slip away, trying to get a grip on myself.

I stood with resolve, brushing invisible dirt off of my jeans and pulling my fingers through my hair. I look at my reflection in the plate glass window quickly before heading to the door. I don't know when I became such a girl; never before had I cared about what I looked like.

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the negativity if only for a few hours, and lifted my hand to knock. Before I could, though, the door swung open and Alice greeted me, ushering me into the foyer.

I didn't pretend to make small talk. I greeted my friends and asked them directly if I had to go tomorrow. They all insisted that I did and that was the end of that. I begged them to tell me what was being kept from me, and still, they were adamant about the fact that I was worrying too much. They promised me everything would be fine. And I simply could not believe that.

By the time I went upstairs, it was 5:30. I opened the door slowly to the darkened room, looking immediately to the window. The clouds were heavy with rain and the sun was completely obscured, the first small droplets beginning to fall. I flipped on the light automatically and turned to the bed.

Edward lay on his side with the blankets surrounding him, staring directly at me. He had a book in one hand but otherwise the bed was empty. He looked nervous. My brows furrowed in confusion, but I turned off the light again and made my way to the mattress.

I climbed in and moved closer to him as he shut the book and smiled faintly. I took it from his cool hands and discarded it to the nightstand beside us, before pulling down the covers and crawling under them. I laid on my side, mirroring his position, and coaxed his exposed hand to rest below the blanket.

He complied, letting me guide it into mine as I watched his eyes closely for a sign. A sign that this was bad, that I needed to back off. I knew by now that it wouldn't come; I hadn't seen that initial reluctance over something so simple in weeks. And lately, I hadn't been pushing my limits. I didn't want there to be tension between us when our days could be numbered, so I kept my actions safe. His anxiety was already in abundance, and I couldn't live with myself if I caused him additional strife.

So for the past week, I came over and I laid with him. Sometimes we walked around the upstairs, sometimes around the bedroom, occasionally we would venture outside but it was rare, and never once did I push him. I knew if all went well I'd have my chance to test him, to take things to their limits and have time to fix what I would invariably mess up. Right now, though, I couldn't afford to risk whatever sanctuary he had in me. To risk whatever sanctuary I had in us.

I brought my right hand to his cheek and stroked it softly, putting all the love that I had into that one gesture. I never understood before how a touch could exude an emotion as strong as what I was feeling for him, but as his eyes rolled back a little and he drew a slow, deep breath, I was almost certain that he felt it.

I reminded myself once more that tonight wasn't for testing limits. That the Cullens would protect him, and that when I got home, my vampire would be waiting for me.

As the rain beat against the window with more force, I closed my eyes and let my touch speak for me. I wanted him to know; if knowing that I loved him would help him get through this weekend, then he needed to know.

We were all well aware of the fact that he wasn't ready for this, as he wasn't even comfortable around Emmett yet, but time was not on our side, and the Volturi were not ones to let compassion outweigh their duties.

I brought my fingers across his trembling cheek and opened my eyes to find his burning into them. "Are you okay?" I asked, letting my fingertips trace his jaw.

The smallest shiver followed my touch but I kept my focus on his face. It was hard to read what he was feeling. His features weren't exactly blank, but indecipherable nonetheless.

"I'm okay," he said, tightening his hand around mine.

"I don't want to go," I whispered to him, moving myself closer. He automatically rolled onto his back and my body curled against his, my head resting on his chest. I could feel the steady rise and fall of his breathing as the rain continued to pour. The room was fairly dark now; the shadows that were dancing on his features created an ominous feel to the atmosphere.

We laid in silence for several minutes, both watching the storm play out on the other side of the glass wall. Edward's entire body jolted as the first bout of thunder clapped in the distance. His breathing was labored and his arm was shaking around me. I pulled back to look at his face. His eyes and jaw were clenched as his mouth quivered slightly.

"I love storms," I whispered, sitting up and crossing my legs underneath me. He gradually opened his eyes and regarded me, resting his upper half on his elbows.

He raised an eyebrow in question and started to smile before the thunder struck again. The flash of light that accompanied it lit the room momentarily, the violent jerk of his body briefly illuminated.

"It's okay," I said, turning so that I was facing the window, as well. I smiled as he rearranged his body and laid his head in my lap. My fingers automatically tangled into his hair, my free hand rubbing his trembling shoulders reassuringly. I heard the distant boom and warned him that it would strike closer momentarily.

It didn't completely squelch his fear, but I could tell that he was ready for it when the loud clap resonated around us.

"Are you alright?" I whispered, pulling the blanket up to cover his fetal body. He nodded, but his dark eyes remained transfixed on the window. The rain slammed against the glass loudly, the angry sounds of the storm threatening to overbear our voices. "Do you want me to turn the light on?"

"It's okay," he answered softly, lifting his exposed hand and letting it fall on my thigh. I closed my eyes and my body stiffened reflexively. I knew it was too much to hope that he had missed my automatic response and I could feel my face heating up. I kept my eyes closed for several seconds, wishing I was dead or dreaming.

I opened one eye and peeked down at him, but his were closed too. Slowly, I moved my hand from his hair to his face, coaxing his head upward so I could see him.

When his eyes finally met mine they were full of worry and… something else. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, the storm behind us forgotten momentarily.

I nodded and looked back to the window. I was way beyond okay.

**

It was ten o'clock, our finite time coming to its end. The feelings that I had successfully managed to suppress all evening were suddenly coming back with a vengeance, the deep knot in the pit of my stomach threatening to kill me if I let it surface now.

We had spent the night watching the storm, mostly in silence. I knew if I spoke I would beg, and I knew it would do nothing but make this night less magical. His head had remained in my lap and I absently brushed my fingers through his hair, across his face, down his arms and up his torso, greedily loving every inch of skin that was within my reach. We didn't need any words tonight. Tonight was about showing my vampire that I loved him; that he had my support no matter what happened.

A quick rap at the door pulled me out of my trance, though, and I internally cursed Alice for jumping the gun. He lifted his head to allow me to stand and I moved quickly to the door, eager to get whatever bad news that Alice had over with. "What's up?" I asked sullenly.

"Charlie," she mouthed as she handed me my phone. With a quick glance back into the bedroom, I stepped into the hall.

"What's up, Dad?" I asked.

"Nothing, I uhh –" he began nervously, stumbling over his words. "I have to go in tomorrow… a couple of the guys called in and won't be able to make it. I was wondering if you'd be able to get to the airport –"

At lightning speed, I interrupted, "Alice can bring me!" I thought through my plan as rapidly as I could. My plane left at ten a.m., so I wasn't going to school anyway. "I can just…" I began calmly, keeping my squealing teenage girl at bay. "…spend the night?"

Charlie inhaled, considering my suggestion. "Should you ask the Cullens?"

Alice led me to the study where Carlisle sat behind his desk. I asked about spending the night and he agreed, taking the phone from me briefly to verify everything with Charlie. An impossibly short amount of time later, everything was set up. Relief washed over me and I giddily skipped back to our room, eager to share the news with my vampire. My present worries were all but forgotten in the moment.

**

I hadn't slept much; for the most part, the night had been spent tracing the curves of Edward's abs. Or the veins in his arms. Or the lines on his face. If this was the last night we were to be together, I wouldn't waste it on something like sleep.

The storm had mostly died down, but I knew it was just the beginning. The next five days promised nothing but rain and thunder and more rain in Forks.

We spent the morning in bed as I retold tales of Christmases with Renee, summers with Charlie and birthdays with my group of friends from Phoenix.

And then Alice was knocking, and it was time to leave. She poked her head in to let us know then left, giving us space to say our goodbyes. Any light feelings I had were now gone, my smile replaced with a small scowl.

We stood and walked together to the door before I turned to him. I grabbed his shirt and pulled myself closer to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist.

"If you want me to stay, tell me," I said, my frown deepening on my face. "Tell me, and I'll find a way."

He buried his head into my neck and held me tighter to him, letting me feel every surface of his body. As I ran my hands up the sides of his waist, I could feel the slight elevation of each of his ribs, the expansion of his torso with each breath, the vibration of his trembling.

"I can find a way," I whispered into his ear, trying desperately to hold him to me. I could feel the all-too-familiar wetness welling in my eyes and I willed it away.

"No." His response was strong but soft, demanding yet pleading. He pulled back and his eyes were begging me. I don't know why, but the set of his jaw was resolved and unwavering. "You can't stay," he whispered, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "It's not… it's not safe."

We simultaneously swallowed and I pulled him to me again. I ran my hand up and down his back while I tried to close whatever distance was left between us. There was none, but still I couldn't stop tightening my grip on him. I didn't want to ever let him go.

As if reading my mind, he pulled back, forcing my grip on him to loosen. I hated that it was so easy for him; that no matter how tightly I held on, he could break us apart with no force at all. I sighed and nodded, defeated.

"You'll be here when I get back?"

He smiled sadly and nodded, bringing his hand to my cheek. He wiped a stray tear away and nodded again. "I'll be waiting," he said.

With that, I turned around and left the room, my hands shaking violently and my tears threatening to spill over in full force.

Alice was waiting by my truck, her hand extended for the keys. I gave them up willingly; I was in no mood for a fight.

In silence, we retrieved my bags from my house and drove to the airport.

**

**Carlisle POV**

Bella was cutting it too close for comfort. Alice knew it would be light out when they came, and, through direct communication with Aro, I knew it would be today.

We had been trying to take precautions to make this go as smoothly as possible, but I honestly didn't think that they were our enemies in this. No, we were all battling against a possible common enemy, and Edward was the key. I truly believed that Aro wouldn't pose a threat to him.

Bella's safety was the most important, and with her going to sunny Florida for the weekend, we anticipated that she should be secure enough. It became a question of how the future would change when Aro touched Edward, but we would instantly know the outcome of that, giving us a head start on bringing Bella to safety. Although in truth, with the Volturi's resources, our protection alone couldn't save Bella if they decided to hunt her.

_Too close for comfort, indeed_.

We knew little about how well the visit would go, as I suspected that the information Aro received from Edward would likely jar Alice's vision. What we did know was that Aro was to be joined by five guardsmen, in addition to Jane and Renata, Aro's personal bodyguard. We were even numbered if something was to go awry, and with the abilities of the guardsmen in conjunction with Jane and Renata, we wouldn't stand a chance.

Add to this the fact that Edward was nowhere near ready to deal with the Volturi, and there were about a million ways that this could end unpleasantly. I had tried to spend as much time as possible explaining who they were and why they were coming to him, but in reality, he was just too broken to be ready for something like this so quickly.

And he tried. He tried so hard to understand, to prepare himself, to be strong and sturdy and not let his fear overcome him. In theory, it was working wonderfully. Unfortunately, I expected that it would be much different in practice.

I made my way down the hall, dreading the coming events. If all went well, they could be gone by tomorrow night. It was doubtful that they would leave tonight, as Aro considered us to be old friends and would no doubt impose himself on our family for the evening. He would perceive this to be the courteous course of action. But being separated from Volterra was not something to be taken lightly, either, and I also knew that he would not be interested in any sort of extended visit.

I knocked softly on the bedroom door and let myself in, as there was little time for hesitation in the moment.

"Edward," I began, walking to him purposively. "As you certainly understand by now, our visitors are coming shortly."

He raised his eyes to meet mine and nodded his head, his breath hitching at the news. _Poor kid._

"You need to cooperate fully," I continued, "for this to go well."

He kept his eyes locked on mine as I made one last effort to convey the gravity of the situation to him. "We will do everything we can to protect you; these people – they're not our enemies."

He nodded and closed his eyes, swallowing loudly. I explained Aro's ability to him then; that with one touch all of his memories would be shared with the powerful vampire. I suspected that this was largely the reason behind the personal visit, but it would be foolish of me to think it was something so simple. I could hope, though.

As Edward sat trembling on the bed, I paced the little room, going over how I expected the visit would go. Reluctantly, I told him of little sadistic Jane, who just loved to abuse her little sadistic ability. I explained to him that it was nearly impossible to escape her wrath if she chose to unleash it upon him, but if it did happen, that he would be okay. I was fortunate enough to only know of her ability through the grapevine, but from the descriptions of my friends and acquaintances across the world, it wasn't a pleasant experience.

Alice joined us some time later, after Bella had safely boarded her flight and was en route to Florida. She had another take on how things would pan out, and offered whatever information she could to Edward. We filled the gaps in as much as possible, and although he had already heard this several times, I was grateful that he was paying close attention.

Between our vocal explanations and our internal supplementation, by the time my phone buzzed, indicating that Aro was on his way, I was confident that Edward had at least a somewhat comprehensive view of what was to come.

Still, with Aro announcing he would arrive soon, Edward's trepidation resurfaced, and Alice's jaw locked in deep concern.

_No, this wouldn't go well at all._

**

I went downstairs to greet my old companion. There had never been any animosity between us, but as I bounced nervously in the foyer, I suspected our relationship might change.

"Three minutes," Alice whispered from her post next to me. Edward was upstairs in a mild state of panic, Esme and Rosalie perched stoically outside his door. Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I counted down the seconds.

When the black limousine with tinted windows rounded the turn into the driveway, Jasper flinched. I nodded solemnly and put my hand on his shoulder. We needed to remain calm, if for no one else but Jasper. For him to be useful in any capacity, we needed to remain calm.

The vehicle full of our soon-to-be-determined friends or foes made a painstakingly slow journey up the driveway. My anger flared, my gut telling me this was some epic game of manipulation. That Aro was intentionally driving us mad with anxiety. I was clearly delusional with worry.

The driver's side door opened slowly and a man emerged. Forty, overweight and balding, human. Understandable.

He walked, cool and collected, to the rear door of the limo and opened it gingerly. I swallowed nervously as the tiny pair of legs emerged. Jane. She stepped from the limo and did a 360, surveying the land. Nodding her approval, she stepped aside for four of the guardsmen to join her. I mentally ticked off the list of who had shown themselves.

The group formed a barricade as the sixth vampire's feet hit the gravel. Renata stood cautiously and peered at me before calmly placing herself directly in my path. She was quite the bodyguard – no attack could be made on Aro so long as she stood before him.

Aro surfaced next, his feeble legs clad in dark cotton, his knee-length black coat wrapped tightly around him. He wore a burgundy button-down shirt and long, white gloves that shielded him from his own ability. He looked… _sinister_. He followed his convoy's gaze until he spotted us watching him stoically through the glass. He smiled widely, warmly, and nodded his head minutely in my direction. He released his guard, although they were not happy to stand down.

The last vampire emerged from the limo and closed the door behind him, whispering a set of instructions to the driver. He wouldn't be needed or welcome, but was to remain close.

With one final, calming breath, I put on a friendly smile and opened the door.

The men stiffened as Jane eyed me suspiciously, itching for me to misstep. I resisted the urge to taunt her, instead focusing on the task at hand.

"Carlisle." Aro nodded calmly, the corners of his lips turning up. "It's great to finally see what you've built for yourself. It's been too long." He extended his clad hand to me and examined me happily. He seemed genuinely pleased to see me. I lightly shook it, careful not to damage the decrepit vampire, and hastily withdrew.

"It has." I smiled and regarded his team warily.

"Surely you won't mind them? They're harmless, really. I don't expect I'll need their assistance at all, in fact…" He raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Just a precaution," he whispered, smiling.

"Mmm," was all that I could answer.

"I'm very interested in meeting your clan, though!" He led me up the steps and onto the porch but stopped at the door. "I hear you have quite the diverse little group here. And _all _of you," he cocked his head to the side, "refrain from human blood?"

"That's right." I kept the smile on my face.

Aro nodded in response. The guard stood protectively around him, despite his efforts to remove them. "Interesting. After all these years, do you miss it yet?"

"I don't."

"Does it never tempt you?"

"Never."

"And what of your clan? Do they resist the desire to feed naturally or have they all lost it, as well?"

"Some have a harder time than others. We're all devoted to this lifestyle, though." My eyebrows knit together. Aro had been an old friend and had always expressed interest in me, but the pleasantries were wearing old.

He lifted his hand to his chin and walked to the railing on the porch, looking out over the yard. "And what of this boy? This… this new one?" he asked quietly.

I took a deep breath, knowing their purpose here. "He can't feed."

Aro raised his eyes to meet mine and squinted. He shook his head and sighed, closing his eyes dramatically. "I'll need to meet him," he finally said. "The more we know, the better."

Several minutes of silence followed before he finally turned to me. "What do you know so far?"

I rehashed everything we had gathered. The wounds, the weakness, the fear, the mind reading. He asked how we had come across him and I explained that we found him in the woods.

"Alone?" he confirmed. I nodded and made to continue but he lifted his hand. "You say he was unable to move on his own volition. How, then, did he get into the middle of nowhere?"

"We've been discussing this in depth. He couldn't have acted alone, it's an impossibility."

Aro nodded. "Go on."

"So, he was either dropped here or planted here."

"And yet you have no concern for your clan?" he concluded automatically. Something inside me sparked to life. I wouldn't have noticed had Renata and Jane not both stiffened at his sides. He shook his head and waved them back.

"Everything I do is for my family," I whispered, regaining control of myself. "Everything."

"And if he was planted – by this lab that you speak of – what then? Are you prepared to sacrifice your entire family for him?"

"What would you suggest I do?"

"We'll take him with us," he said, smiling. I began to protest immediately but was he just continued on top of me. "No need to get upset, Carlisle. It's merely a suggestion. We can offer him the protection that you can't, and your family would be removed from harm's way."

"Absolutely not."

"Just something to consider. Well, then," he raised his arms off the railing. "Let's meet him."

_Better to get it over with_, I told myself.

It was true enough, although a little more time wouldn't hurt anything. "This way," I whispered absently. I prayed that maybe, maybe this would be okay.

**

Aro left the guard downstairs, save for Renata and Jane. Between the two, they alone could protect Aro sufficiently, so it wasn't surprising. Esme and Rosalie passed concerned glances between one another, and Aro lifted his arms in a show of his innocence.

"Come, now," he began, gesturing for his girls to stay back. "You can't think I'd harm the boy? I have no reason…"

My brave wife took a step toward him and extended her hand to shake his. Instead, he lifted her fingers and planted a small kiss on her hand. When he pulled back, he chuckled at whatever memory he drew. My stomach would have churned if it were even a remote possibility. Instead, I just kept that smile plastered on my face.

"He sounds absolutely exquisite. A mind reader." The words were drawn out and I could practically see the possibilities running through his head. No doubt Edward could actually see them. I wondered if this offered him any comfort.

"…and you must be Rosalie! It's so wonderful to meet you all. Carlisle and I go way back." He reached for her hand and she reluctantly offered it up, glowering at me over his shoulder. I shook my head imploringly and heard Jane snicker behind me. She smiled sweetly at Rosalie and waved each of her little fingers individually. I gave Rose a look that said, _heed my warnings about this girl_.

"Now, then," he began, shaking his head decisively. He pointed to the door that led to the bedroom.

"He's not ready for this," I whispered, one last time.

"Well, unfortunately he's out of time to get ready. I don't have eternity." He chuckled at his joke and went for the doorknob. I reached for it instinctively and was thwarted by Renata. Aro turned to me, removing his smile, and raised his eyebrow, daring me to protest.

"May I," I began, shaking my head to clear it. "May I join you?"

His disapproving glare faded and his warm smile returned. "Absolutely," he whispered, enunciating each syllable. "This should be _fun_." I nodded, dejected, and together we walked into the bedroom.

Edward was standing in the shadowed corner, the crux of his weight against the wall, trembling violently enough for me to hear it in his breathing. Until he stopped breathing. And his body stiffened. And any hope of this going well flew out the window.

"Edward?" Aro asked softly, approaching him cautiously. Renata growled behind me, but he threw her a warning glare.

As he approached the shell of a vampire before us, he casually removed each finger from the long white gloves that protected his hands. When his fingers were free, he pulled the glove from his arm and tossed it carelessly to the bed, giving his other hand the same treatment.

As he did this, he began speaking to Edward. "Carlisle, here, tells me that you're powerful. We're similar, in a way." He watched Edward carefully as he wrung his bare hands together. "You've nothing to be afraid of. Surely you can see that I mean you no harm?"

Edward growled deeply from the corner. Impulsively, I stepped between Jane and him, effectively guarding him, but she simply stepped around me. "Please," I whispered, begging the fiend to control herself. She smiled at me and nodded her head, gesturing to Aro.

Lowly, she whispered, "If your boy controls himself, we've got no problem. I can't promise the same if he continues this way."

_Edward, you need to calm down. You _need _to relax_. His eyes met mine instantly and I could see all the unresolved fear of the past ninety years. Bella was smothering it, yes, but it was still there.

_I'm right here, and if you can calm down, no one will hurt you_. He had an internal war going on, visible to anyone paying attention. I watched as he tried to calm himself down, as his shoulders slumped further but his shaking eased. His eyes closed and his jaw locked entirely, his chattering teeth less audible because of the force of his bite. It was a struggle that I wasn't sure he would win, and Aro was not slowing down.

With every step he advanced, all the calm that Edward mustered dissipated. And Aro was advancing – quickly.

_Edward, you need to be strong. He won't hurt you_. His security blanket was gone and he needed it back. So impulsively, I thought back to Bella. I pulled every memory I could in the little time I had, but it wasn't enough.

In an instant, Edward had shifted into a crouch and growled the lowest, most sinister growl I had ever heard. Aro took a defensive step backward and began to speak to Jane but it was too late. In an instant, Edward was under her powerful attack.

"Jane!" he hissed. She was too caught up in her game to listen, though.

I lunged at her, making every effort to keep my word, but Renata intervened and I found myself on the opposite end of the room. I tried again. Edward's screams resonated through the entire house and I could hear the men downstairs keeping Jasper, Emmett and Alice at bay. Rosalie went for Jane but was thwarted in the same way that I had been, and Esme went straight for our suffering vampire.

I stood helplessly at the door as a guardsman forced his way past me, clasping his strong arms around me. It was futile, I couldn't fight this. With Renata protecting Jane and Aro, all I could do was beg for her to release him. And instead, she smiled at him, watching his body thrash in the corner of the room.

I continued my pleas with the devil herself as my wife's broken sobs echoed my own. She had never once touched Edward, but in that moment, she ran to him as she would any of our sons and forced him against her. He was shaking and screaming, his face contorted in agony, as she held his screaming frame against hers.

It had only been seconds, but I knew that any longer and everything that had been done so far would be undone, and I had a promise to keep.

Startling the man that was holding me back, I broke free, and, carefully avoiding Renata, I threw myself into Jane's path. The last thing I saw before the white hot pain was her smile, and that menacing little wave.

**

It felt like an eternity had passed before I was released from my hell, but Esme was still restraining a very distraught Edward in the corner, which told me that almost no time had lapsed.

I took a deep breath, elated with my survival. The rumors had proven true; if I never underwent that again, it would be far, far too soon.

Aro extended a hand to me, his face full of apology and regret. "I'm so sorry," he breathed. I didn't take his hand. I wouldn't touch that skin until it was directly required of me. He looked to Jane and began furiously whispering orders. I didn't bother trying to decipher them. I knew Aro had never intended for things to go that way, but Jane had a mind of her own.

Edward was fighting Esme's grip as she held his head to her shoulder, his growling soft and anxious. I walked to them and took over for her, wrapping my arms around his in an effort to both comfort and restrain him.

_You're alright_, I thought, keeping my internal monologue as soothing as possible.

"Do you need a minute?" Aro asked regretfully from several yards away. I shook my head. _Might as well get it over with._

"If I feel threatened," he began, "I won't hesitate to give Jane the green light. You keep him under control."

I nodded and tightened my grip around the shaking vampire's arms. I kept my thoughts encouraging and watched Aro's descent.

_Focus on me, Edward. Only me. Bella needs you to be strong. Be strong for her, Edward. She needs you. _When I felt his gaze shifting to Aro, I constricted around him further. _Just me and you, Edward. _I let my mind wander to any memory of Bella that I could pull up. As little as it calmed him, it at least seemed to distract him some.

Aro looked at me solemnly and nodded, indicating he was going to make his move. Esme's eyes went wide as she cringed and covered her mouth. The miniature Satan just continued smiling. At least _someone_ was enjoying themselves.

Thankfully, he went for his arm. It was exposed and contained, so it was the safest for all three of us. I expected that it would take several minutes for Aro to get a comprehensive look into Edward's past, so I prepared for thrashing and fighting.

But when their skin finally contacted, it only took a split second for Aro to pull back. His face contorted into what could only be described as misery and a noise escaped him that was somewhere between a groan and a gasp. He touched his fingers to his face then caressed them with his other hand. His eyes were wide and black, and he shook his head in surprise.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, swallowing. "I don't know what happened. I'll try to be quick."

I could see Aro's hand shaking as he approached Edward's skin once more. I felt his body tighten as Aro gradually allowed his fingers to connect with Edward's arm. This time, Aro closed his eyes. His breathing stopped and his face pulled together, his fingers shaking as he fought to maintain contact with Edward's skin. Edward was shaking, too, no doubt as he watched his own history play out in Aro's mind.

He continued struggling against me as the minutes ticked by, but he was growing weaker. Not physically, but mentally. He was losing the drive to fight me, and that thought petrified me.

_Hang in there, son_. I continued my futile efforts to calm him until finally, Aro pulled away.

"I'll be downstairs," he whispered, struggling to keep his footing as he stumbled from the room. Jane looked at Edward angrily before grabbing the discarded gloves from the bed and lithely following.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, releasing my grip on him. I expected that he would pull away. Hell, I even hoped for it. Anything was better than this blank shell of a man that lay before me. _It's over, Edward. It's over._

But instead of pulling away, Edward closed his eyes and let his head fall against my chest, his breathing heavy with anxiety.

Hesitantly, I lifted my hand to his back. "You're okay," I whispered. "It's over."

**

Eventually, we had gotten Edward calmed enough to leave for a bit. Esme stayed with him, sitting in the corner of the room by the door to ensure that no stealthy attack would be made. The fact that Aro had expressed interest in Edward as an addition to his trophy cabinet was beyond unsettling. He wouldn't be left alone in the house until the Volturi were back in Italy, where they belonged.

I made my way downstairs to find Aro stoically perched by the window, an extremely concerned Renata seated at his side.

"You hurt him," Jane accused from the corner.

I just shook my head, prepared to dismiss her accusation. It was Aro that interrupted.

"Jane," he began. "Carlisle is a friend. Despite how his family feels about us, we are guests in his home. He did nothing of the sort."

Jane grumbled and turned her attention back to the television.

"Step outside with me?" Aro suggested.

His entire group stiffened at his request but he held steadfast. I nodded and followed him out the door and onto the back balcony.

When we reached the chilled, rainy air, and closed the door behind us, Aro immediately spoke.

"He's got quite the interesting history," he began. I had been waiting for this for ages; finally something to go off of.

"Do you know who did it?"

"Not who, no. It seems to me we have a new enemy, though."

"Tell me," I pleaded.

"Human captors," he began ticking off information on his fingers. "Definitely for experimental purposes, although how they managed to contain one of us beyond me. He's a victim of an eternity of abuse. Nothing but pain." He shook his head sadly. "Looks like he hadn't fed for several years before you found him. Based on what he took from his captors minds and what I gathered from his, the starvation was merely to keep him weak. When you found him, he was drugged, was he not?"

I nodded.

"Humans playing God. To eliminate the vampire race, perhaps? But no, they have several vampires. They keep them alive, too. He couldn't hear them always, but on occasion he would get glimpses into their minds. Nothing concrete. They are all in fairly bad shape, as well. Although, from what I can tell, none have been in captivity for as long as Edward. He kept his mind reading hidden. Thankfully. I imagine they would've been more careful with him had they known. Or possibly ripped his brain to shreds to figure it out.

"They didn't go easy on him. In the beginning, they kept him isolated. No human in their right mind would approach a vampire with full strength. So they merely locked him up and threw away the key…" Aro shook his head. "Let him starve for about a decade, get him weak. Didn't even enter his cell, just left him there to rot. And rot, he did.

"The vampire had no perception of time, so it's hard to say how long he went without any interaction. Judging by his body, though, it had to be several years. He was in worse shape than you ever made it to by the time they entered that cell.

"Reinforced titanium, as far as I can tell. Just a guess, though, really. Your boy had no idea what he was looking for, but based on the scent and the look, the distorted feel that I picked up from him, it seems like it was something along those lines. Besides, there's little in the world that can contain us, but with the right structure and the right element, it would be awfully difficult for a vampire to break that. Impossible, as his luck would have it. For the last eighty years he's been the subject of a number of experiments. I can't begin to describe their motivations, as he had no insight to offer me, but it ranged from drug experiments to vivisection and everything in between. With no sleep to mark the days, I have no idea how often these experiments were conducted on our young friend. But they weren't holding back."

I tried to keep my anger contained, but it was building steadily. _How, why?_

"It's obviously a concern… possibly a top priority. Since he doesn't know how he ended up as vampire I can only begin to guess. He suspects he was administered venom via syringe. He pulled it from the minds of his captors early on. And your guess is as good as mine as to how they got the venom. I can promise you, if a vampire is in cahoots with these people, he will be punished accordingly.

"You're right, though. There is no way he escaped on his own. Eventually, after they perfected the inhibitor, they stopped feeding him all together. His memories become broken, his thoughts jumbled and he just… existed. He stopped fighting them completely; he let them have their fun and suffered in silence. He's stronger than you're giving him credit for.

"It was overwhelming, touching the boy. I don't see how he even functions, let alone feel half of the things he's feeling. So much to carry around…"

Aro turned and walked to the door. I knew I would get no more from him. He was a man of little patience, as much as he claimed otherwise.

"Oh, and one more thing," he said, as he retreated into the house. His lips pulled up into his goading smile. "Where is dear Bella?"

I sighed and let my head fall into my hands. _Knew this was coming_, I reminded myself.

"She's in Florida, visiting relatives."

"Come inside," he whispered, nodding his head toward the door and retreating from my line of sight.

**

We all stood around the living room, each of us in different phases of panic. The guard stood opposite us, regarding my family as if we were common criminals.

"So, you see the problem?" Aro asked, a sad smile playing on his lips. "The rules are not in place as a formality, Carlisle, you know this."

I scrambled for some logical argument. Everything that I had come up with in the past two months would be a useless defense. I knew Aro and I knew the Volturi; rules were rules. Humans were not to be let in on the secret, no matter the circumstances. Unless…

"You have humans working for you… in Italy," I reminded him.

"Yes, but Carlisle – those who work for us do it with the intent of becoming one of us. Does your Bella have plans of joining our race in the near future?"

As much as I hated to admit it, she most certainly did.

But as I made to talk, Alice stepped forward.

"Alice?" Aro asked casually. "Something to share with the class?"

She extended her hand toward him bravely, ignoring her husband's hushed pleas. Aro smiled and removed his glove, taking her little hand in his own.

For several minutes, his eyes were blank, until finally, he released her.

"That really is a wonderful gift you possess, Alice," he whispered conspiratorially. "I'd love to have someone like you on our side of things."

"We are on your side, Aro," Alice replied.

He chuckled and moved backward, putting space between them. "And these visions you have, they're accurate…" He considered this for a moment before mumbling, "Amazing, indeed."

"No matter what we do, Bella _will_ become a vampire. You've seen it. You've seen how hard we've tried to change it, and it doesn't change. It just doesn't," she answered.

Aro nodded. "I'll be forward with you, Carlisle. Frankly, I trust your judgment. If you want to keep a pet, keep a pet. If she isn't changed, your entire family will suffer the consequences." He shrugged at his casual threat. "I have bigger things to worry about than your clan playing house. Change her or kill her, but note that I will be following up on this. And in the future, consider checking in with us before acquiring a human pet. I wouldn't want Caius unleashing his fury on your clan, brother."

Jane opened her phone and called the driver. I could have danced my relief, but I kept it contained. Not yet.

"And the offer remains, Carlisle. We'd love to have you back, but I see that you're dedicated to your lifestyle. Perhaps give your young friend the option? Surely he would enjoy the taste of human blood after all these years." He smiled and began moving to the door. The guard followed.

"This trip has been most informative. I trust that you'll keep me up to date should anything change? Finding this group has become priority, and I will not rest until they're brought down." He put his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed it. "I'm glad I decided to visit; it's been too long."

I agreed absently and hurried him to the waiting limousine.

**

**BPOV**

I sat on the plane, my foot tapping on the bar beneath it restlessly. I had been subject to more than one disgruntled scowl on the flight, but I couldn't contain my anxiety. Alice had called on Saturday morning, just after the Volturi had left, to inform me that everything had gone over fine and that Edward was safe. I couldn't help my nervousness, though. God, I missed him.

I had been distracted all weekend, my mom disappointed in my anxiety. She attributed it to being cooped up in a small town; I didn't correct her. I was the worst daughter ever. Guilt didn't begin to cover what I was feeling.

Several times she had hounded me about boys and friends and boyfriends, my dad, school… I just couldn't bring myself to answer her with enthusiasm. Because every single thing I could think to say made me think of my vampire, and my vampire was thousands of miles away.

I was more than a little eager to go home. Home. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. The plane would land at eight, Alice was picking me up and bringing me to her house until eleven, and then I would head back to Charlie's.

I did feel guilty for leaving Charlie hanging, but honestly, I wasn't sure how I would make it through the rest of the flight, let alone another night without Edward.

The plane landed a couple of hours later and I ran to Alice, who smiled brightly at my enthusiastic arrival. I hugged her tightly, realizing how much I missed her and how grateful I was that she was safe, too. We got my luggage and made it to the car just as the rain started to fall. As we drove, Alice asked me all about my trip, grumbling audibly at my lack of fervor.

"Tell me honestly, Al," I began, looking at her beseechingly. "No hitches?"

"I don't know, Bella. It was okay, but I mean…" She sighed, confirming what I already knew.

"How bad?"

"There was a tense moment. It's okay, he's been alright. We've been keeping our distance, though."

She explained the "tense moment" and I listened with surprised collectedness. Knowing he was minutes away from me made it easier to take the information. I nodded, listening intently to her retelling of the weekend, willing her foot to push further into the gas pedal. Once upon a time, eighty miles an hour would give me a panic attack. Now, I wondered what this car maxed out at.

I immediately threw open the car door as we arrived at the mansion. The rain was pouring down around me, making it difficult to see beyond a few yards, and making me absolutely positive that my eyes were deceiving me.

I squinted through the rain to verify what I was seeing. Edward sat on the porch, staring directly at me. I turned to Alice, ready to use any amount of force necessary to get her to leave us alone, but she was already gone. I looked back to my vampire just in time to see him stand, his legs shaking slightly, as he stepped down to the ground.

And I loved him. And I could swear that he loved me too. And most importantly, the weekend was over, and it was time to push his limits again. So I ran to him, preparing to throw my arms around his trembling neck and finally show him just how much he meant to me.

**

**A/N**: *hides* Will they kiss?? y/n?? :P

You guys know the drill; review this beast of a chapter! Please! :)

Award Time!

Get your nominations in for:

**The Bellies**: thecatt (dot) net

**The Indies** **(which VITB does NOT qualify for)**: theindietwificawards (dot) com


	20. The Reunion

**A/N**: Thanks to OCD_Indeed as always.

Jeesiechreesie and Americnxidiot for holding me hand and the prereaders for helping me through it.

Jilburfm for being an ammmaaazing beta and getting me through three drafts of this.

And all the reviews/pm'ers/readers/clickers! You're all wonderful!

And to temptation podcast for asking me to be a guest (episode 22) -- found here: temptationtwilight (dot) blogspot (dot) com

**

The Reunion

**

**Bella POV**

The cool October rain fell wildly around me as I rushed toward my vampire. Maneuvering through the thick mud without tripping was both exhilarating and infuriating, as I wanted nothing more in the world than to wrap my body around his and show him how much I loved him. My movements were graceless and hasty, but it didn't matter.

He took a cautious step in my direction and stiffened at the feel of the water on his skin. Immediately, he was drenched, his hair sopping and his clothes damp. I smiled.

I slowed down as I neared him, perplexed by his actions. I knew he had likely never felt the rain before, and couldn't help but be amazed by the fact that he had made it out here on his own. He had _waited _for me, outside, by himself, and was now standing amidst a downpour to meet me halfway. He had pushed his own limits in my absence. Could I drive him further? I could feel my resolve begin to falter as my shaky legs carried me to him.

But he loved me, right? He wouldn't be here, awaiting my return, otherwise. As I considered if there was even a remote possibility that he loved me in return, I stopped walking and tilted my head upward, closing my eyes and relishing in the feel of the pouring water.

When I looked back down, he was just as I had left him, the rain dancing off of his skin in every direction.

I reached out my hand and gestured for him to join me, beckoning him closer. When he took another hesitant step toward me, I started moving to him again.

His t-shirt stuck to his body and I eyed him appreciatively. I needed to get him in the rain more often.

It wasn't as though the water was warm. In fact, if I let myself concentrate on it, the slamming droplets combined with the chilly Washington weather was anything but. However, I had other things to concentrate on, and I found myself able to completely disregard the forced shivers running through my body. My mind refused to work cohesively as I neared him, considering all the reasons for and against pushing him. I didn't have much time to make a decision, and my excitement at our reunion was growing with each step.

When he was finally within my reach, I extended my arm and took his hand. He was shaking too, but for entirely different reasons. I didn't care. He was alive, in one piece, and at the house. If I knew anything, it was not to take this for granted.

Without any words, I pulled him to me, releasing his trembling fingers as our bodies connected and opting to lock my arms around his back, instead. I pressed myself flat against him and could have died when his arms encircled my shoulders. His face found the nape of my neck and I smiled against his chest. Kiss or no kiss, the new plan was that I would never let go of him again. Surely we could find a way to make it work?

But we were drenched, and I was freezing, and admittedly, Edward wasn't entirely comfortable in weather that he had never experienced first hand before. I couldn't think past the feel of his arms wrapped around mine, but I knew that my body was betraying me more with every passing moment. I tried to nuzzle further into him, in a vain effort to quell my trembles, but I was failing. The metaphorical warmth of his body offered nothing to mine physically.

He inhaled, allowing his nose to contact the skin below my ear. And just like that, every argument I had come up with against kissing him suddenly faded. But then he pulled away, giving me a chance to pull myself together. Making a rash decision when it came to kissing Edward could be the worst mistake of my life. It was important that I consider it from all angles.

When I didn't budge, I saw his lips turn up slightly, before he moved his hands behind his back to encircle my wrists.

Gently, he pried my hands apart and distanced us just enough for me to see his entire face.

He smiled tentatively when he looked at me, then turned his head to the porch. I nodded, clasping my hand around his and leading us out of the rain.

We stepped onto the porch and I noticed a heap of fabric sitting just out of the rain's reach. With trembling fingers, I reached down and picked apart the bundle. A thick, inviting blanket lay before me and I eagerly pulled off my jacket, wrapping the warm, dry fabric around myself instead. My shivers instantly calmed and I turned back to Edward.

"Did you…?" I asked. Either that or another of Alice's tricks. Regardless, I was grateful.

He shook his head and smiled slightly, sitting on the wooden step that was just barely sheltered from the storm.

I had a million questions for him, especially after Alice's revelation in the car. I had been worried about what I would come home to, and a part of me knew I wasn't going to get off this easily. However, as I took my seat next to him, his calm disposition astounded me. There was that deep-rooted pain in his eyes, sure; there was always pain in his eyes. He didn't seem excessively jittery or anxious, though. He seemed almost… relieved?

He took my right hand in his and squeezed it gently, smiling when I broke from my trance and gave him my full attention. I stealthily sidled toward him, effectively closing the small gap that was left between us, and rested my other hand on his lower back. Admittedly, this wouldn't constitute as "pushing limits" by any normal definition. However, I wasn't sure how far he was ready to be pushed, and if I was to never let go of him again, surely we had a few hours to work out how far we could go.

Images of my original intent flickered in my mind and I unconsciously licked my lips. In fact, I only realized I had done it when his expression shifted and his eyes left mine to survey the land. I blushed a deeper shade of crimson than I had ever let him see before and looked down, hiding myself behind a thick curtain of hair.

I kept my eyes closed and averted for several seconds, until I felt his cool hand pushing my hair from my face. When it swept across my neck, an overt shiver crept up my spine. I looked at him sheepishly, a smile forcing itself onto my features. Eventually, I let it out.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

They were the first words spoken between us since I got back. They didn't seem to properly catch the weight of what I was feeling, but it was certainly the most important and pressing matter. The gooey, gushy butterflies would have to wait. Possibly indefinitely, as I thought about it more.

He nodded and closed his eyes, gripping my hand tighter as we considered the question. He certainly wasn't okay. Was it really fair for me to even consider an action so forward and frightening as kissing him? The concept scared _me_, and I was raised understanding what love was, what kisses meant and their importance to any relationship. He spent the last ninety years having no exposure to any of it. He would think I was attacking him, no doubt.

And what of his venom? There were, of course, some merits to the chaste kisses that twelve year olds exchanged, but I wasn't positive that I'd be able to control myself once I got on that train. Suddenly, a million doubts plagued my mind and I realized that my plans to push him had been hasty and irrational. I could push without shoving, and that was obviously the better path to take.

Clearly, it wouldn't be in anyone's best interest for me force him to move too quickly. My rapidly fluttering heart could, and would, wait.

For now, I would settle for getting him talking. He had been holed up in his room all weekend with little to no contact, suffering in silence of the fallout from his encounter with Jane. Alice had explained to me that she had hurt him, but refused to divulge the details. So of course, she was downplaying the experience. Naturally.

I looked up at him, thoroughly considering the possible outcome of my next words.

"Jane –" I began softly, tightening my fingers around his. The effort would be lost if he chose to withdraw, but hopefully he would at least understand that I was prepared to be here for him. "Was it bad?" I whispered, circling the pale skin on his hand. This. This was the kind of pushing he needed. No more silly fantasies until he was in a better place. He had been through hell, and he needed time to recover before I did anything ridiculous.

He nodded and closed his eyes, swallowing in preparation to speak. I smiled, knowing that his voice was just seconds away. I missed that voice.

"I'm okay," he whispered, smiling slightly as he reached his free hand into the rain. He sat perfectly still, watching the droplets attack his skin, marveling once more at something that I had never even considered. I allowed myself to marvel with him as the rain collided with his flesh and naturally bounced from his body.

"How did it go?" I finally asked. The silence was worrisome. Of course, he was always silent, but after the weekend he had, it had me petrified that he wasn't the same. And should he be? If I had been through what he went through, I certainly wouldn't have come out of it with my sanity.

He sat next to me, his face and thoughts distant except for the subtle trembling in his shoulders. "Hey," I whispered.

Immediately, he came back to me, his eyes lost and frightened and… sad. _Really_ sad. I was instantly grateful for my decision not to let my hormones win as I watched a heavy breath escape his lips.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, in nothing more than a hushed whisper.

It was more than a little surprising when, instead of remaining silent and stoic, he answered. "When he touched me…" He pulled his hand from mine and touched his bicep distantly. "I saw everything," he whispered, turning his attention back to me. "Everything… that I've been trying not to see…" he swallowed and clenched his eyes shut. "… I saw."

And just like that, the gravity of his weekend came crashing down on me. Not only was he forced to interact with strangers when he could barely get a grip on himself around the family who had been nothing but kind to him, but he was forced to deal with his past, as well. He shook his head and tried to smile, but there was nothing happy about it.

"Why did you do it?" he suddenly asked, still not looking directly at me. He swallowed and continued his surveillance of the area.

"Do what?"

"All of it," he said sadly. "I'm… I'm dangerous. Why," he whispered. "Why would you…" He shook his head, fighting some internal battle. "…come to me? Risk your life… for me?"

I considered his question. Why had I risked my life for him? This wasn't the first time I thought about it. I had been reckless and stupid from the first minute I had seen him, and yet I continued on, knowing that at any moment he could have obliterated me. He still could, if he chose to.

"What else could I do?" I finally answered. It was true enough, without delving into the full ridiculousness of my rationale.

"Have you ever thought… that maybe… it would be better if I left?" he asked, his hand beginning to shake underneath mine. I blanched.

"No," I answered, inflecting the greatest amount of finality I was capable of while my insides threatened to spill out of my pores. "Never."

Had I inadvertently indicated that I might prefer him gone? No, that would be outrageous, when I wanted the exact opposite. This line of questioning terrified me, though. Was it what he wanted? In the back of my mind, I always knew it was a possibility. That he would need a chance to explore and grow and that it wouldn't include me. I guess, subconsciously, I had decided that I could wait for him to return, as hard as it might be. But this didn't sound like a learning experience. This sounded much worse. I kept my panic under wraps.

"Why?" I whispered.

"I just… I just don't want you to regret this."

I squeezed his hand and leaned my head on his shoulder, watching the rain gravitate toward the shallow puddles in the driveway. "I don't," I said, letting my cheek fall heavily against his drenched shirt. I inhaled surreptitiously, basking in the scent of Edward and rain. As sure as I was that vampires didn't actually have a specific scent, I was somehow comforted by what I found.

I smiled up at him and turned my face into his shoulder, inhaling deeply and throwing stealth to the wind. "I have a laundry list of regrets," I began, "but this will never be on it."

For a long time, we sat silently, letting my words settle in, before he finally spoke.

"I need to know," he began quietly, his fingers shaking around mine, "what you're thinking." His eyes met mine and he looked as conflicted as I felt. I took a moment to consider the repercussions of telling him the truth. Of letting it all out there, for better or worse. Of telling my vampire how deep my feelings for him truly ran.

On the one hand, it might finally allow him to really open up. It could help him realize how much I cared for him and how much it hurts me see him hurt. On the other, it could be too much. Could scare him away from me and I would lose what I loved the most. Or, there was always the possibility that he had no concept of love. Would it just be a word to him? Could I handle rejection if I had been wrong about his feelings?

I nervously swallowed, opening my mouth to speak.

"I'm thinking…" I started, watching the reflection of the rain in his dark eyes. _I should just spit it out. _Could I, though? I inhaled deeply. "I'm thinking that I…"

He looked so anxious for my words and I was stuttering like a fool. I tightened the blanket around my shoulders and closed my eyes.

"…That I love you," I finally whispered. On some level, I regretted keeping my eyes closed, as I was missing what was probably the only reaction I would get from him, but I couldn't face the rejection I was sure to receive. I didn't expect him to repeat the sentiment, but I wasn't sure if there was anything worse than the awkward silence that followed my confession.

My jaw and my fingers and my shoulders and every other part of me were shaking, waiting for my vampire to retreat, and I loved him. And he _knew_. I had never told that to anyone outside of my immediate family, but I knew it was the truth. It was real and scary and I had no idea why, but it was _me_. And it was _us_. And in my panic, it took several seconds for me to feel his fingers against my jaw, guiding my face in his direction.

I finally opened my eyes.

"I love you, Edward."

He smiled longingly and searched my face, his fingertips remaining tenderly placed on my cheek. He looked too sad to feel it back. My heart sank.

I tried to look away, to hide the tears that were threatening to pour from my eyes, but I couldn't. I knew that he wasn't going to tell me he felt the same way, but I had hoped that I might get at least some indication that he felt it, too. And did I honestly think that I would be okay with his rejection? If I did, I was wrong. It felt like my heart was constricting into nothing. And it hurt.

"But it's… it's… not safe," he said, his voice frightened and apprehensive.

"I don't care," I replied, internally begging for some indication that the feeling was mutual. I didn't need everything; I just needed to know there was hope. That he cared for me in any capacity. Had I imagined everything? He hadn't ever told me about his past; I couldn't even remember him telling me about his days when I was at school. He hadn't ever invited me in or asked me to lay with him or read with him. It had all been me. Could I really have imposed myself on him without his consent and mistaken his permissiveness for love?

But he had waited for my return. And that was something, wasn't it?

"I don't care if it's dangerous, Edward. You won't hurt me. I know you won't."

"What if… I'm not the most dangerous thing…?"

"What – the people who had you?" I spoke without thinking, taken aback by his questioning. What danger was he talking about?

"Just… are you sure?" He looked at me so desperately that I just wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be fine. "Are you sure that this is… what _you_ want?"

"There's not a question in my mind," I responded, lifting my hand to cover his, "that this is what I _need_."

"Bella," he sighed, breaking my gaze and looking to the woods.

We sat silently as I thought about his reaction. In retrospect, it probably could have gone worse. He could have flat out rejected me and run. I couldn't have kept up, and I would never be able to find him. Or he could have told me he didn't love me. Or that he hated me.

I just needed to get back on track. It was for the better that he knew, and maybe one day he would feel it, too. I could hope for that much.

The palpable silence was growing by the second, and in my quest for some indication that anything I had imagined was mutual, I finally spoke. "Tell me about it," I requested, keeping my voice as subtle as possible.

"What do you want to know?" His eyebrows pulled together slightly as he regarded me.

"I don't know. Tell me about what happened?" I looked at him longingly. Deciding to guide him into conversation, I continued, "Tell me about Jane?"

His eyes took on the glazed over look once more as he contemplated my request.

"Jane…" he began. He shook his head, looking at me hopelessly, thoroughly unprepared to provide an answer. I slumped against him and closed my eyes, my fingers absently tracing his as we sat in silence.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed before he spoke again. "She knew," he whispered, "There was never any question…"

I started to pull back so that I could look at his face, but he moved his arm to my shoulder and held me to him.

"Alice told me what happened," I mumbled into his shirt, keeping my focus on the rain. I didn't know if I could handle his pain. Not this time.

I felt his nod simultaneously with the cool gust of air that swept my head. I wrapped my arms as far around him as they would reach, bringing myself closer still.

"What do you mean she knew?"

"In her head…" He swallowed, his breathing coming harder. "I could tell… when they came… that she… _enjoyed_… herself…" His voice trailed off and I moved my face against his shoulder in something close to a nod.

"There was never a doubt… with her," he continued. "As soon as they came in…" His voice grew softer as he continued retelling the events as he saw them. "…I knew it was… it was only a matter of time." The words came out as barely a whisper, pained and deep and dark.

"The – the men who…" I regarded him with trepidation as he struggled through his words. "They never knew… that I could hear their thoughts."

I tried to hide my surprise at his willingness to talk about his experience as he continued quietly. "It wasn't as if I spoke to them. When I did try to… speak to them… it only made things worse. They had no way of finding out. So I didn't understand what I was hearing for a long time. In fact, I'm not sure if I ever fully understood it… but I could guess that I was hearing things I wasn't meant to hear, and that alone kept me quiet.

"Jane's mind was similar. I knew exactly what her plans were… she didn't try to veil them."

I considered what he was telling me as he continued. "Aro was different, though. Because he _knew_. Even the Cullens, after they found out, didn't succeed in changing their thoughts. But Aro… he was different. He was hiding his intentions, his motivations. He was _lying_ through his thoughts… and it was _petrifying._"

"What did he want?" I whispered, getting too wrapped up in the story to care that it was getting dark.

"I'm not sure," he responded quietly, tightening his arm around my shoulder. If I thought I couldn't get closer to him, I was wrong. My body pressed against his and it was the only thing keeping me from breaking at his tale. "At first, he wanted nothing more than… _me_." I wasn't sure what it meant, but I was certain that it couldn't actually be a good thing. What would the Volturi want with my vampire?

"But his thoughts… and his words and his actions… they didn't line up. Nothing lined up. And he wasn't slowing down, and I guess... I guess I panicked." He let the word hang there for several seconds, making no effort at further explanation.

I reached up and grazed his cheek with the back of my hand, resisting the urges that I knew I needed to keep at bay. It was maddening, but he was in pain, and he came first.

"It – I wasn't really – in the best place," he continued, his voice hushed and pained. "And when he came in… I was singularly focused on him… to the point of letting everything else slip from my mind. I could hear people telling me to stop, and I could hear laughter, and screaming and… the noises from the house and from… outside, but it all blended together… because _he_ was trying to manipulate me with his thoughts. And he wasn't slowing down." He inhaled deeply and shivered, his body jolting reflexively.

He smiled humorlessly and shook his head. "And then… Jane." I could feel his body trembling against mine as he recounted the events. "And the pain. And suddenly I found myself… in a room, on a table…" His voice was shaking and I was shaking and I knew I was only seconds away from falling apart, but I held it together… for him.

"… And I couldn't move or see, and I couldn't hear anything beyond the shrill noise of whatever tools the men were using, and I thought I had slept… that none of it had been real." His breathing was speeding up as the tremors ran through his body.

"… And that I would spend the rest of existence in that room. But then I felt _her_ wrap herself around me and I heard her voice trying to take the pain away… and I knew it couldn't have all been a dream." His voice cracked a little as he continued on. Needless to say, the tears had begun to silently fall down my face, blending into his already drenched shirt.

"Then, after an eternity, the pain changed. It didn't go away, but it moved. Suddenly I didn't recognize my own screams anymore. It wasn't until I saw him on the floor that I understood what had happened."

Alice hadn't told me that part. She told me that Jane had worked her power on Edward, but the story that he was pitching didn't exactly line up with the one she had given me. "Who…?" I asked, sniffling in a vain effort to stifle my sobs.

"Carlisle," he whispered. I pulled back and looked up at him, wishing that _I_ could read _his _mind. "He threw himself in front of her," his voice trailed off and he turned his attention back to the rain.

I smiled sadly. That sounded like Carlisle, although Alice had left it out. I'd need to thank him at some point; who knows what would have happened had he not been there for Edward.

"He has the kindest mind," he continued on, not ceasing to amaze me, "that I've ever been around. I can see why you love them."

I smiled and thought about it. I had to agree; I'd never met a kinder or more compassionate man than Carlisle. The story really shouldn't have shocked me; it was true to his character. And he loved Edward. That thought alone lifted some of the weight of the past.

"Then Aro…?" I prompted him to continue, but he shook his head.

"Tomorrow," he whispered, surveying the sky. My eyes followed his as we looked out into the darkness surrounding the house.

Our time was rapidly coming to a close as we sat side by side on the porch. We hadn't moved, and I couldn't bring myself to care. I was certain I would pay for it in the morning, when my legs were immobile and my back ached fiercely, but after his story, I allowed myself to think that maybe… maybe I hadn't imagined it.

I knew if I thought too hard about what he had told me I would cry again, but as we sat in silence, I couldn't help but recognize the fact that he had been open with me. As horrifying as his past had been, at least he was trusting me enough to tell me a little bit about it. I tried telling myself it was better than any kiss ever could have been, and maybe it was, but I obviously wasn't buying it.

I turned into him and kissed his covered shoulder, locking my hand around his once more and squeezing it tightly. I was decidedly glad that he knew that I loved him. I hadn't been doing a great job keeping it a secret before, but it was important that he knew. With no concept of love, of course he wouldn't understand the meaning behind my actions otherwise. I squeezed his hand again before standing, the blanket falling from my shoulders as I stretched my legs. He raised himself, as well.

Alice would be coming out to take me home soon, but it didn't stop me from wrapping my arms around him once more. I laid my face flat against his chest, partially for the closeness and partially to keep myself in check. Maybe we could slowly work toward something more; I couldn't abuse whatever trust he had in me by molesting him on the porch.

I smiled against him and squeezed his torso tighter, relishing in his strong arms locked around my back.

I felt his throat constrict as he swallowed heavily before unlocking his arms and planting them on my shoulders. He forced me back a few inches; just enough for me us to make eye contact. I smiled.

Hesitantly, he leaned toward me. I thought my heart would burst out of my chest with anticipation. There was no way. I needed to control myself. I watched as his face approached mine and softly, his cool lips brushed my forehead. And it was bliss. I closed my eyes and allowed my body to lean into his kiss, not willing to waste a second of this moment.

He exhaled and the cool burst swept over the tingling flesh on my forehead, shooting a series of shivers through every bone and muscle and pore of my body. I wanted to scream or laugh or cry or sing, but I stood still and instead, brought my hands to his sides.

"I was…" he began, pausing and slowly leaning his forehead against mine. I was ready to melt. I was ready to do anything, but this torture – it was killing me. "I wanted to try something."

I nodded, my voice having been lost quite a while back. God, I hope he wanted to try what I wanted him to try. My body was revolting against my mind, eager to take over and push things along. Every part of me wanted to pull him closer and touch him and kiss him and love him; every part but the rational thinking part. My hands crept up his sides on their own volition as he turned his head slightly.

My breath hitched as a gust of air assaulted me; I inhaled it greedily.

When my hands finally reached his neck, I locked my fingers on either side. My fingertips comfortably nestled into his hair as I used all the self control I was capable of to prevent myself from guiding him toward me. I had been determined not to force this, but the anticipation was creating a cloudy haze around my former rationality. He had initiated it, would it really be that bad for me to accelerate his movements?

I stretched onto the balls of my feet to give him better access and automatically cocked my head a little. I kept my hands planted firmly on his neck and I closed my eyes, my breathing growing more erratic with anticipation and excitement and fear and love. I loved him. I loved him so much, and he was inching his way closer to me. I could've died in that moment, as the muscles in my hands and arms and shoulders told me the distance was being closed. And it wasn't fast enough.

Instinct told me that only seconds had passed since he last spoke, but the adrenaline and the anxiety were making me hyperaware of every feeling and sensation that coursed through me. It was maddening.

My mouth parted slightly and I could feel his shallow breaths on my tongue. Delicious. We stood like that, breathing in time, sharing the air that passed between us, for countless seconds. I waited impatiently for my vampire to close the little distance that was left.

My fingers were knotted tightly into his hair and I could feel my knuckles straining, the muscles in my biceps flexing painfully as I realized that I had been subconsciously pulling him closer. I wondered if he even noticed my efforts.

I didn't have enough time to contemplate it though, because the world disappeared around me in the moment that his lips met mine. And suddenly we were floating, and we were on top of the world, and it was _beautiful_.

There was no rigid muscle versus malleable skin, no chilled granite versus warm flesh, no indestructible and strong versus breakable and weak. There was just me and him, and it was ecstasy.

Our worlds had collided and solidified as my hands crept further into his hair.

I pulled him toward me uselessly, but he knew what I was requesting and he complied. My lips remained slightly parted and I could feel the swell of his upper lip between them as I angled my head further. He kept his mouth decidedly closed, despite my desperate attempts to push him further, so I surrendered to him. And the moment was perfect.

I continually tried to lift myself higher, eventually resting my full weight on my toes, as I held onto my vampire for dear life. The tingling warmth that pulsated through me at the feel of his cool lips on mine just about did me in, but I persevered, because this was just the first of many, many more. If I had anything to say about it.

And when he finally pulled away, he ran a shaky hand through my hair. I didn't want to let him go. Ever.

He touched my trembling cheek affectionately as he looked down at me. Suddenly, his mouth turned up into a smile.

"I need you, too," he whispered, the back of his hand running along my jaw, just as I had done to his countless times before. I struggled to keep my balance. Once again, his forehead rested against mine, our noses side by side and our eyes just centimeters apart. His were closed, but the small smile that had crept upon his mouth widened slightly. "Alice is waiting."

"Let her wait," I responded, lifting myself once more. We were both smiling as our lips touched. It was lighter this time, but it didn't mean any less than the first. We separated quickly and I backed up, knowing that at this rate I would never leave. And Charlie was waiting up for me.

"I'll see you after school tomorrow?" I asked, suddenly self conscious.

"I'll be here," he whispered, his lips still set in the first genuinely happy smile that I'd ever seen from him.

I backed away slowly and turned around, stumbling down the steps and into the rain. As I awkwardly made my way to the car, my giddiness threatened to overtake me. I touched my fingertips to my mouth and somehow managed to hold in the squeal of excitement until Alice and I were safely in the car. I'm sure he heard it anyway.

**

**A/N**: Reviews let me know how I'm doing, so please, review!


	21. The Truth

**A/N**: Yow. I know, I know. Massive update fail. However, this chapter is very long to make up for it.

Thank you to ocd_indeed; Emibella & jeesiechreesie for preread this - you are the best.

Epic thanks goes out to Jilburfm, my amazing beta, for keeping me in line and helping me through my fail.

And readers & reviewers, you are all wonderful and encouraging and supportive and I love it. Thank you all so very much. It's you I keep in mind when I lock myself up for hours to write :P

**

**The Truth**

******

**Alice POV**

_It's impossible to surprise a psychic. _

It was the first line of defense in any competitive game that I engaged in with my family. It was the automatic retort when I opened gifts knowingly. And it was a concept that I had dwelled on regularly for the past several decades.

I replayed the words in my head over and over, half-alarmed, half-smug. Perhaps now my family would see my ability as I saw it: flawed.

Because if I was being honest with myself, not only would I not have bet on things unfolding as they had, but I'd have put good money on them going the other direction.

Shocked didn't begin to describe my immediate feelings.

For three hours after leaving Bella with Edward, I wandered through the woods aimlessly, trying to stay far enough away as not to interfere with her big plan. Like a movie, I watched the scenarios play out and flip flop and naturally shift as Bella warred against her hormones to keep herself in check. Part of me found it humorous. Part of me found it annoying. And all of me was rooting for her to make a move.

And when the future pretty consistently looked as though we had some more waiting to do, I tried to distract myself. Yes, I wanted to run back to the house and encourage the young lovers to share their feelings. Yes, I wanted to make good use of both my ability and Edward's to encourage some sort of proactive exchange. And of course I wanted nothing more than to be doing anything aside from what was currently occupying my time.

But, like any well-mannered child, I held it in. Tried to distract myself. I told Jasper that I wasn't checking; admittedly, this was an outright lie. There was nothing I loved more than a romantic comedy, and with Bella's indecision and Edward's obvious discomfort at her behavior, it was shaping up as such. Having Jasper and me far enough away to prevent interference certainly helped, but her blushes and awkward giggles, her increased heart rate, her flirtatious gestures, and her complete inability to let a freaking centimeter lie between them alerted him to her desires. It would be adorable, really, if it wasn't infuriating.

Needless to say, when the future once again changed, I automatically attributed it to Bella's internal vacillation. And I'll be damned if the half-drained deer didn't fall lifelessly to the ground as my jaw dropped in response to the plot twist.

Jasper eyed me speculatively.

I shook my head, distracted, and resumed draining the pathetic carcass with a newfound giddiness. My husband's scrutiny did not let up as we made our way back to the house, and suffice to say, my seemingly arbitrary cheer wasn't helping matters.

Bella was shivering inside the car as I approached it and took my seat behind the wheel. No sooner had I closed the door before the screeches and squeals started erupting from both of us. She looked happier than I had ever seen her before, the noises coming from her body as delighted as anyone in love's could be.

As I drove her back to her house, there wasn't a moment of empty silence. Every second was filled with either shrieks, giggles, or overly vivid descriptions. The curious vampire in me was thoroughly interested in what she had to say. I think this particular kiss was one for the books, as vampires and humans rarely made tonsil hockey a sport. However, the best friend in me couldn't get past the fact that _my_ Bella, Bella who, two months ago, wouldn't even give boys a second look, was in _love_.

She would never be the same.

And somewhere, deep within the recesses of my mind, I knew that I would need to have a heart to heart with her.

We had rationalized keeping the truth about her future from her before; it was still so muddled and subject to change. Now, with the Volturi involved, I could see no way of getting around it. Bella _would_ be a vampire. There was no question.

Telling her was more complicated. I needed to be around for any possible fallout that the news would produce; to answer any questions she had or merely to comfort her if it turned out this was the opposite of what she wanted. Although I had a strong suspicion that she had at least considered being changed in the past, I didn't anticipate that she had given the consequences of such a change the appropriate consideration.

And if she didn't want this life, then what? Carlisle had spent the entire weekend frustrated and grumpy, wanting nothing more than a backup plan should her reaction be as any normal person's would.

But future Bella was smiling, and smiling Bella couldn't hate this life terribly, could she?

I continued squealing and bouncing, giving the appropriate reactions to her excited recount of her evening, but the more I considered it, the more nervous I grew. What if I couldn't protect the only human I truly cared about?

We pulled into the driveway just shy of eleven and I cut the engine, turning in my seat to face her. Her expression suddenly grew solemn and I immediately regretted my timing.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her blush fading immediately and all traces of her jovial self leaving her in an instant. I shook my head quickly.

"Nothing," I responded, rolling my eyes. _Tomorrow_.

The hour that we had after school was about the only time I could think to tell her. I wanted to have her alone, and I wanted to have some time to let it sink in. If I told her tonight, she'd either go upstairs and fall into a blissful slumber or she would freak. Cry herself to sleep. Or worse -- not sleep at all, merely cry through the night. If I gave her time to dwell on it on her own she would jump to conclusions -- possibly inaccurate conclusions, and either make the situation way worse or way better. To be fair, though, if she wasn't happy with the news, there really was little way the situation could be made worse.

Still, I wanted to be there for her. I owed it to her. We brought her into this world of monsters and vampires, and it was our responsibility to see that she remained safe. It wouldn't be right to leave her alone after dropping this bomb on her.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school?"

She nodded her head warily and pulled open the door. She'd spend the night dwelling on what I was hiding. But she would do it with a smile on her face. If this was her last night of true happiness, I was glad I could offer her at least that.

**

When I returned to the house, Edward had already moved upstairs. I rolled my eyes, considering the day that he might actually show interest in familial bonding. That day was approaching, albeit slowly.

_Edward and Emmett sit on the couch, controllers in hand. I'm on one side, Bella is on the other. Edward regards the device in his hands, confused. Bella laughs. I laugh. Emmett grumbles. I can hear Rosalie and Esme gabbing in the kitchen. Carlisle approaches. Jasper is nowhere to be seen_.

I sighed, unlocking the front door. No matter how much we tried to convince her otherwise, Esme insisted we keep it locked. We all had our suspicions as to why, but mostly I figured it was one of the small things designed to keep us in touch with our long-faded humanity.

The family was convened in the living room, as they had been all weekend, looking dejected and furiously whispering amongst themselves. Any human might not even recognize the soft murmurs for what they were: equivalent to a shouting match for any normal family.

"We have to tell her," Carlisle rasped, leaning his entire weight against the couch with his head in his hands. Esme stood beside him, her hand protectively laid on his forearm. "This isn't our choice anymore."

I took the opportunity to interrupt. "Of course we'll tell her." I moved to the armchair that Jasper sat in and plopped myself on the floor, leaning my back against his legs. He was angry. He was really angry. I could tell by the stiff set of his jaw that it was taking everything he had in him not to lose his cool. I knew he was feeling guilty about spending increasingly less time in the house, and it was these moments in which I completely understood his dilemma. There was always something.

Emotions had been running high for months and Jasper was suffering the consequences. Plus, to be honest, the fact that Edward still couldn't stand to be within a thirty foot radius of him wasn't helping. Although the family remained blissfully unaware, the fact that he was singled out as the most malicious and most dangerous wasn't sitting well with him. It was a reputation he had earned plenty in his life, but, as he had set out to do nothing more than help Edward, the lack of any growing trust between the two was beginning to disturb my husband.

As much as it disheartened him, Jasper wasn't staying away only for his sake. He knew as well as any of us that his nearness put Edward on edge.

I sighed and let my fingers trail along his calves.

The whole family turned their attentions to me, my matter-of-fact tone alerting them.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed. "And how do you know that?" she sneered. To say she was dissatisfied with the turn of events that the visit had brought about would be an understatement. Just the idea of having Bella for an eternal sister had her frozen blood nearly boiling.

I tapped my forehead and smiled, willing to play her games. "I can already see that we'll tell her," I whispered, trying to keep any hint of vindication out of my voice.

"When?" Carlisle asked, his eyes snapping up to meet mine.

"Umm, I was thinking tomorrow after school? It's daylight and we're at her house, so I'm guessing it's a go."

"How will she take it?"

I considered this question. To be honest, I was mildly afraid to look. What if I lost my best friend? What if Edward lost the only person he trusted? What if Charlie lost his daughter? The consequences could be disastrous, but I closed my eyes and decided to face them down.

I raised a finger, hushing my family, as I looked into what tomorrow brought.

**

**Carlisle POV**

It was nearly two a.m. by the time our meeting disbanded, Alice's revelation about Bella's reaction doing little to quell my concerns.

The fact of the matter was that this was what I had been actively trying to prevent for the past two months. Removing Bella's choice in the matter was the absolute last thing I wanted to happen, despite the fact that she would apparently concede to her future.

I shook my head, retrieving my bag and heading toward the kitchen. I had fallen into a routine of feeding him before I left for the hospital on Sunday and Wednesday nights. Over the weeks, he had become increasingly more cooperative. While I had originally expected that the events of the weekend might make him more hesitant and fearful around us, in Bella's case, it had proven the opposite.

I couldn't pinpoint the exact cause of the change in his behavior, but I could speculate. And I did. I was fairly confident that he lacked the capability to understand what love was, but Alice assured me that he was able to feel it. It didn't make the fact that Bella was offering herself up to him any easier.

And truly, it wasn't that I didn't trust Edward. There was something about him that made me eager to put my utmost faith in the boy; but Bella was human. Bella was breakable and Bella was an easy meal, should he choose to go that route.

Which brought me to my next concern.

As I absently crossed the kitchen and opened a cupboard that hadn't seen any action in months, I contemplated my fears. I pulled a small mug from the shelf and locked my forefinger around the handle, fidgeting with it nervously.

Last week, I had considered trying feed him this way. Although his aversion to blood was still strong, his reaction to the scent seemed to be less violent in the more recent attempts.

But now, with him and Bella getting closer, the risks were magnified. I needed to speak with Alice.

Like clockwork, she pranced into the kitchen, smiling widely at the empty cup that occupied my hand. I held it up and shrugged, silently asking her if I was on course.

"It's a good idea," she said decisively, nodding her head to reinforce her point.

Just as I began letting my hopes grow for success, she continued, "I don't think it will work."

I closed my eyes, mustering my patience. _If it might not work, why is it a good idea?_

"It's the first step," she explained. "A necessary step, as far as I can see…"

I regarded her inquisitively, silently urging her to continue.

"When you made the decision, things changed." She shrugged. "Before, I couldn't see it ever working; now I can."

She smiled and hopped onto the barstool, emptying the contents of the bag onto the counter. I watched as she meticulously lined up the bottles of polish before finally choosing two. She turned back to me and grinned, holding a bottle in each hand and bouncing her hands up and down in question.

_Only Alice_. I chuckled under my breath and disregarded her question, instead retrieving several bags from the refrigerator and heading toward the staircase.

Still torn on whether or not his ability to drink naturally would a _good_ thing, I hesitated at the door. If, as Alice predicted, this move was indicative of future success, I owed it to Edward to try. But part of me realized it could be at Bella's expense. Would it be safe for her? Now that she would likely be making a habit of increasing her physical closeness to Edward, could this really be in her best interest?

As difficult as it was to reconcile my responsibilities to my children, I inherently knew that I owed it to Edward. Bella had been making her own decisions, and it really couldn't be any _more_ dangerous after he fed than it was that first night in the basement.

With a decisive swallow, I opened the door and entered the small bedroom.

Edward had grown used to our routine just as I had, so the growling was minimal. It was more of an instinctual reaction at this point than anything else. I briefly wondered if he would ever be able to shake the habit, or if it had become so engrained in him that he'd not ever move past it.

But then, he no longer growled at Bella.

"Good morning," I chucked, looking at my watch. It could hardly be considered morning, but when you live with no concept of time, it ceases to matter much. Morning and night tend to blur.

He had reverted to his fetal self without the comfort of Bella, but relaxed some as I entered further. I sat at the far edge of the bed, unwilling to push the envelope just yet.

Displacing my bag and tracing the rim of the cup, I watched as he forced himself to stretch.

"How are you?" I asked, watching carefully for his reaction. "Doing okay?"

I hadn't seen much of him since the Volturi left, as I expected he would be more comfortable alone, but I couldn't help but ask.

"I'm okay," he said, his voice soft but more confident than normal. I recalled why that was with mixed emotions. It wasn't right – a vampire and a human romance. Of course, there were countless examples of such loves existing in literature and television, but it didn't make it any more… _natural_.

But then, on countless occasions, both of them had surprised me. Last night, the ultimate opportunity for Edward to abuse his position, he didn't. Was I so hard-pressed to believe that this couldn't work?

Edward stared at me, taking in my position on the events of the night. Maybe, as both Alice and Esme attempted to convince me, it was fated.

I couldn't buy it so easily.

Nonetheless, it had become Bella's decision, and I was doing my best to respect that.

"I don't want… to hurt her," he said, his voice dejected and pained. "You think…" He trailed off, searching my mind for the answers. Answers that I honestly didn't have. "You think that I'll hurt her." His voice was quiet and dark, despondent.

"No," I answered with a smile, my automatic reaction surprising even me. I don't know how I knew, but suddenly something had clicked. And I knew with everything that I was, that he wouldn't hurt her. It was very well one of those great mysteries of the universe, how these two creatures who were so separate and so different, came to love one another. But they did, and I could see in his eyes that he meant it.

"I don't think you'll hurt her." My voice exuded confidence and hope. Hope for my future, for their future, for Bella and for Edward. For the first time since this whole ordeal had begun, I truly felt hopeful.

Edward nodded, sitting up on the bed and pulling his knees to his chest.

"Now," I said, ready to get to the matter at hand. "I'd like to try something different."

In my hand, I held out the mug that I had been relentlessly handling for the past several minutes. Whether it would work or not, I couldn't say with certainty, but Alice had been confident about one thing: trying was critical.

He nodded, inhaling deeply; fearfully. "Either way, Edward," I began, trying to keep him calm, "I'll be here to help you through it."

Again, his head moved slightly up and down as his eyes took in the inoffensive ceramic object before me.

"You ready?" I asked, standing.

With a deep exhale, he answered, "I guess."

His response wasn't what I had been hoping for, but it was better than a decisive _no._ He wasn't refusing my efforts, although he certainly didn't show confidence in the matter.

"It'll be alright," I promised, pulling the clear bag up from the floor. I filled the cup a quarter of the way full and set it aside.

I could see the beginnings of the fear surfacing on his body, the trembling increasing as he wrung his hands hopelessly together.

"Edward," I said, straightening myself. "If you're not ready, we can wait until next time."

He merely closed his eyes and shook his head, a small 'no,' escaping his lips.

I picked up the mug and moved to his side of the bed, sitting down next to him. His hands were latched together and shaking, but I wanted him in as much control as possible.

"If you don't think you're ready –" I started softly, willing him to let me in. I couldn't yet decipher the meaning of his actions; couldn't gauge the intensity of his fear.

"I'm okay," he said quietly, forcing his hands apart. He reached his right arm toward me and took the cup from my hand. I smiled.

I let my palm contact his back lightly as he regarded the object in his grasp. He stared at it quietly for several minutes, mustering his strength or his courage. Channeling whatever he needed to get through this.

"Just take it slowly," I instructed softly. "We're not in any hurry."

He looked up to me with pained eyes before raising the mug to his mouth.

His hand was trembling fiercely and I was grateful in that moment for the small amount that I had put in the cup.

With a deep breath, he touched the ceramic to his mouth. "Don't inhale," I said immediately, realizing I should have instructed this to begin with. He nodded his head and I could see his resolve wavering as he attempted to overtake his instinctual reaction.

I watched helplessly as he held back an initial gag, the first drop of blood hitting his tongue. He was suffering through this, and I was overcome with a sense of… _pride?_ This vampire, who had been through more than I could ever dream of going through, was fighting a never ending battle to be whole again. It was heartbreaking and it was scary, but he continued to persevere. And as he fought back his body's automatic reaction to the only substance that could sustain it, I couldn't help but be proud of him.

He'd come so far.

I knew he had only taken in a few drops when he pulled the cup away abruptly, covering his mouth with a fisted hand and scrunching his face at the revolting feel.

I let my hand linger on his back and took the mug from his trembling hands, whispering encouragement and praise for his strength. It was clear to me that he was a stronger man than I would ever be, and I momentarily considered his upbringing. Wherever his family was, I hoped they would be proud of him.

"Do you want to try again?" I asked, as I felt his trembling subside.

He sighed, a clear answer to my question in and of itself, but his words contradicted his physical response. "Yeah," he said, swallowing and reaching for the cup.

I handed it over willingly, watching as he hesitated less this time.

I knew as soon as he tilted the cup what he was doing – he was going to drink it faster rather than slower. I wondered how it would feel, actually satisfying his throat after so many years of not.

In theory, his plan had merit. But as he swallowed the substance and his body immediately heaved, I knew it was too soon.

Red stained the sheets as he doubled over, his body trembling fiercely as he purged his system of the liquid.

"It's alright," I whispered, rubbing up and down his shaking back.

When he finally straightened and calmed down, he regarded me warily.

Shocking me yet again, the petrified vampire reached for the cup. I shook my head and pulled it back, setting it on the floor.

"Edward," I explained cautiously, "I think that's enough for today."

I watched as he took on a look of confusion before nodding in agreement and closing his eyes. It was definitely enough for today.

"But you still need to feed," I explained, walking back to my bag and retrieving my normal supplies.

I was eager for it to be done with, as he had had enough for one night, but, no matter how routine, rushing this wouldn't bode well for anyone.

As I prepped the tube and followed through the procedure, I talked with him.

Finding a safe subject that he felt comfortable talking about was tricky, however.

"Do you know how you ended up in the woods?" I asked carefully.

He looked up to me with dark eyes but made no move to answer. Taking the hint, I went with something easier.

"Tell me about your parents?" I attempted to guide him into conversation, but when I asked this he shrugged.

"Okay," I responded, continuing to work while I talked. "I'll tell you about mine?"

I had been making more of an effort to relate to him outside of Bella in the recent weeks. I attempted to maintain small talk and to bombard him with information. Honestly, he seemed eager to learn and listen to what I had to say, so I enjoyed telling him.

No matter what mundane fact about life I was sharing with him, he seemed genuinely interested in hearing it. It was liberating, in a way. Still, though, I asked him questions, in hopes that eventually he would open up to me.

I told him about my father and about the church that he headed, about the hunt of the vampire that resulted in my creation and about my discovery of draining animals.

It was an important story to me, one that I hoped never to be forgotten, as it was the foundation of our way of life. A way of life that I hoped Edward would one day adopt.

And as I was wrapping things up and repacking my bag, I heard his timid voice from the bed.

"I—" he began, snapping his mouth shut as he gathered his thoughts. "I couldn't have… done it."

I walked back to him and sat down, holding off my questions until he was decidedly finished speaking. He was hesitant and reluctant to talk, but he had never offered any information before.

"I wasn't… wasn't alone," he said, watching me carefully. For what, I couldn't say. To see if I was going to betray his trust?

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't have… been alone." He swallowed nervously, looking up at me. "There was a man…" He gulped, his eyebrows pulling together. "He… left me… there."

"In the woods?" I questioned.

He nodded, inhaling deeply.

"Do you know who?"

"No," he responded shakily, uncomfortable in the conversation. I knew I shouldn't be pushing him before he was ready, but it was so important. He hadn't made it to the woods alone. Friend or enemy?

"I'm not sure," he whispered. "I wasn't… I wasn't understanding… what was… It was too much… His mind wasn't… it wasn't like theirs…" He shook his head and frowned. "But I don't know… people can… hide… things."

I nodded. I figured as much.

"I don't… remember much. I wasn't completely… there. But… as he walked away," he swallowed, "I saw him."

"What did he look like?" I asked quietly, trying to remain calm. Would his looks actually matter? Could we hunt someone down based on their looks alone? We could try to track him from the woods…

"Long… light hair," he said, his eyes far off. "I don't know, I couldn't… make out much. He had a chain… on his neck… with tags?"

How many men with long light hair in the world? More than could make his information useful.

"Thank you, Edward," I said as I stood. I wished he could understand how much his trust meant to me. And knowing that he was planted could definitely change things. It _must_ have had something to do with our family. It was all too coincidental not to.

But he had definitely had enough for one night, and I had pushed him far more than I intended to, so I left quietly.

**

**Bella POV**

The following day of school went by with me in a blissful trance. I'll be the first to admit that I couldn't say what any of my teachers lectured on. Alice had been her creepy ominous self last night, of course, but over the last six weeks I had learned to deal. She'd tell me what was going on when she was ready. I trusted her wholly.

I didn't sleep a ton, mostly tossing and turning and replaying certain events of my night over and over. I don't know when I turned into such a _girl_, but I could barely keep my random giggles muffled. I daydreamed of Edward sneaking in through my window and looking through _my_ books. The images manifested themselves into uncontainable shrieks until I turned my head into my pillow. Waking Charlie would not do.

When my alarm finally went off at six, I had practically jumped out of bed and run straight to the shower. Half excited, half exhausted, and fully unable to contain my smile, I had prepared for my day quickly and decided to get an early start on my homework. Finding the time to keep up with schoolwork was always taxing, but keeping my mind occupied until this evening would be a challenge in and of itself; I might as well get ahead while I had a few spare minutes.

But as I reached the foot of the stairs, I heard a grumble coming from the kitchen. As it turned out, by waking up early, I was able to catch Charlie before he left. It was just as well, we hadn't had much time to talk last night.

"You're up early, Bells," he announced, as I entered the kitchen.

I nodded, digging through the cupboards and producing all the necessary ingredients for a complicated bowl of cheerios.

"You seem," he began, eying my food. I sat down. "Cheery." He chuckled at his joke and ran his hand over the back of his neck. _Nervous?_

"Ha…ha," I responded sarcastically. I sighed and picked up the discarded news section of the newspaper. It never saw any real action in this house.

"Good weekend with Renee?"

I nodded. It had been good enough. Beaches, sunshine, pools; nothing that I needed in my life. But it was nice to see my mother again. It had been too long.

The silence that followed was both too long and too awkward to mean anything good.

"I was uhh," he stammered, "was wondering if you maybe wanna stick around tomorrow night? Ya' know, order a pizza and… catch up?"

The smile must have immediately left my face because Charlie quickly went defensive.

"Now, Bella. I have been pretty fair about this whole curfew business. I haven't seen you in weeks… I know you're eighteen, but give your old man a break?"

I nodded and looked at my cereal. It was true; I never saw Charlie anymore. What was worse was that it was rare that I even noticed. Only on the rare occasion that I would catch him at home and he'd bring it up did I even consider it. Somewhere along the lines my priorities had dramatically changed. Maybe a night with my Dad would be good for me?

"Sure, Dad," I mumbled, shoveling the now-mush into my mouth. "Tomorrow."

_At least I had tonight_, I reasoned.

Edward had promised that we would talk more tonight. Would it be awkward? Would things change between us, now that I had basically admitted my insanity to the vampire that I absolutely adored? Would we be able to lie in bed for hours just comforting one another, or would it mean something else? Part of me was excited to find out. Part of me dreaded it. But I think mostly I was excited.

And that was how the day went by. Sometimes I would be smiling so goofily that one of my friends would ask what had made me so happy. Sometimes I was so concerned that I snapped at them for asking why. It was random and ridiculous, but I couldn't help it.

By the time the bell rang and I made my way to my truck, I was already relatively high strung. And Alice was waiting for me expectantly, her palm pressed flat against the passenger side window.

"You're gonna smudge it," I laughed, hopping into my side. I reached over and unlocked hers. She hadn't been accompanying me as often as she did when we first found Edward; it was becoming increasingly rarer that she joined me for the hour between school and my nightly visit. Coupling this with the concerned look on her face, I was able to determine that she was up to no good.

Was she ever up to any good?

**

She sat me down on the ancient couch in the living room. I willed myself not to be too anxious, after all, she wouldn't be so calm if something was wrong with Edward, would she? She wouldn't.

By the time she finally took her place on the opposing cushion, my bottom lip was begging my teeth to release it. I couldn't.

The ride had been mostly quiet, save for a few worried glances on both our ends. It was unlike Alice to be nervous, having the direct knowledge of how every decision she made would turn out in advance. But there she sat, looking as worried as any teenage girl who was about to break her best friends heart should.

"Please," I finally breathed, breaking the ominous silence that had budded between us. "Enough with the torture… just say what you have to say." I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the news. I immediately began coming up with contingency plans. Despite whatever scenario Alice was about to describe, there had to be some way for me to be useful. If for nothing other than a sacrificial lamb, I would at least die with the knowledge that I did everything I could to save my vampire from whatever he was hiding from. And he _was_ hiding from something.

It seemed like every time I let us _be_ and enjoyed what life had to offer, I was reminded of the looming danger. I nodded my head and opened my eyes.

"Well –"

"It's Edward, isn't it?!" I didn't mean to interrupt her, honestly. The words came gushing from my mouth before I had a chance to stop them. "Something happened," I practically cried, immediately moving closer to her and putting my hands on her shoulders. "Tell me what hap—"

Alice grabbed my hand and held them steadfast before her, her head shaking furiously. "No, no," she rushed out, "nothing happened with Edward. It's… Bella… I need to talk to you about something…" At my frown, she continued, "I promise you, Edward is safe."

I felt the air return to my lungs as I fell into the cushions. _I should just move in with the Cullens. _It might save me a lot of worry.

"But, Bella," she whispered, "I know you've been thinking about the future…" _Oh, God. She'd seen something that she didn't like. So much that she's staging an intervention. _I sighed.

"But…" She scratched her head and closed her eyes. "I don't know where to start," she mumbled. "I _always_ know where to start…" She began muttering about how much she disliked uncertainty and how she couldn't understand how people dealt with it every day. I decided to put her out of her misery.

"Start from the beginning? Alice, I'm not really following you. You need to give me _something_."

She took a deep breath. "Okaybutdon'tfreakout."

As I could feel myself begin to panic again, she continued.

"I really, really, _really_ need you to not freak out." She put her hands on top of mine, and all four rested in my lap. I took a breath. Don't _freak out._

"If I ask you something, will you answer honestly?" she questioned, her eyebrow raising. "Don't answer that, I already know. I _need_ you to answer honestly, Bella."

I nodded.

"Have you ever thought about… becoming one of us?"

I hadn't exactly expected the conversation to take direction, and I immediately began questioning her motives. _Could be a –_

"It's not a trick," she said nonchalantly. "And your answer won't really change what I have to say. I just need to know."

Had I considered it? _Yes_, my mind automatically answered. My voice shortly followed. "I… have?" I answered timidly. I immediately cringed, waiting for the backlash of my admission.

She shook her head. "No," she whispered, bringing her hand to the back of her neck.

"Alice," I grabbed her wrist and pried at it until she complied, looking directly into my eyes and continuing to silently shake her head. "What is this about?"

"The Volturi," she mumbled, looking through me. I knew the signs. She was watching. She was _cheating_.

Silence ensued, drawing out for several minutes. I looked around the room awkwardly, noticing the crack in the southwest corner, my school pictures littered about the random ledges, the flakes of lint on the arms of the couch, anything but the fraught vampire sitting next to me. _The Volturi? _I tried to keep myself calm while Alice got through her visions. I tried so hard, drawing patterns on the couch and pulling at the stray threads that had escaped.

Finally, she cleared her throat. "There's only one rule that we have to abide by," she said, her voice distant and hushed. She refused to look at me. "It's the only one that matters, and it's the only one that they actually enforce."

I nodded for her to continue, but she was clearly going to take her time.

I swallowed loudly; the anxiety that was tainting the air was palpable.

"Bella, when you learned about us…" She looked out the window.

"Alice – just tell me. Please, please don't make me beg. How bad is it?" I could hear that slight edge in my voice. My nerves were going haywire. Dragging it out was only making things –

"Worse," Alice said, finally looking at me. "And you're right, I need to just… I need to just. Bella, the only law that our kind follows is to keep the secret. Despite what you may think or believe, it's all that really matters."

I shook my head, trying to clear it. I still had no idea where she was going with this.

"When you found out about us, we broke that law," she whispered.

Oh, God. Were they going to kill me? Where they going to kill the _Cullens_ because of my irresponsible night six months ago?

"No one's going die," she answered my unspoken question. "Well, at least not using the loosest form of the word. I suppose, technically…" She looked at me meaningfully, but my head was too boggled to grasp her meaning.

_Technically _what?! I wanted to rip my hair out. I wanted to rip _her _hair out.

"The usual punishment would be death," explained Alice, running her fingers lithely across the back of the couch. "But, since Carlisle and Aro are old friends, they gave us an… _ultimatum_."

That didn't sound good. Did I like the sound of that? Not dying was preferable, but the eerie way the words fell off of Alice's tongue alerted me to the fact that this ultimatum wouldn't be fun.

If they wanted Edward, it was out of the question. If they wanted my family, that too, would be unacceptable.

I started running through their possible demands in my mind.

"Bella," Alice chided, "I don't know what's going through that overactive imagination of yours, but stop. They said that…" She quieted her voice substantially, turning sympathetic. "That the only way to avoid the repercussions of our friendship is to turn you into one of us…" Her voice trailed off as she finished, leaving a thick silence between us.

To sum up what I felt would be a near impossibility. Initially, I felt only relief. I couldn't understand why she had been so reluctant to tell me? Of course she knew I had considered it; Alice knew _everything. _But why she was so nervous wasn't an issue, as far as I was concerned.

My relief turned to happiness, to extreme excitement, some mild anxiety, a good amount of anticipation. In that moment, I was on the verge of asking Alice what time she wanted me to meet her for my transformation.

It was settled. I'd be a vampire, and I was excited. I was really, really excited. I would get to spend forever and ever with Edward, and he wouldn't be able to stop me. I'd be strong enough to protect him, and I'd be strong enough to keep my feet planted firmly at his side.

In that moment, I was _elated_.

And that moment was cut short when my father walked into the living room.

And something inside me died when I looked at his beaming face. I had considered before, the notion of leaving Charlie and human life and all that it entailed, but was I ready right now?

"Bells! I didn't think I'd get to see you tonight! Are you two staying for dinner?" The smile on his face was genuine and my moment of happiness was cut short, and an irrational twinge of… sadness, replacing it. I pushed it away. This was great news, really. I felt my heart pounding in my chest, but chalked it up to excitement.

"Um…" I swallowed, trying to get my emotional hurricane under control. Alice reached over and grabbed my hand, attempting to speak with me through her actions. I didn't understand. I sort of… wanted… to spend dinner with Charlie. And why couldn't I? But Edward had promised me more conversation tonight. How to reconcile the desire to be there for the two most important people in the world to me?

I stood, shaking my head. Honestly, I shook it only as a means of clearing my mind, in a vain effort to find some sort of middle ground, but Charlie's face immediately fell.

"Well, maybe tomorrow," he mumbled, bringing his hand to the back of his neck. He headed toward the hallway to discard his gun and jacket, apparently skipping that step in his haste to get to the living room. In his excitement to see me.

I nodded, smiling sadly at my downtrodden father. "Tomorrow," I repeated, walking toward him and wrapping my arms around his waist. I don't know what sparked the action, but I realized that I hadn't hugged Charlie in years.

When I backed away from him his eyebrows pulled together and a lazy grin appeared on his face. "What was that for?"

I shook my head. "Can't I hug my Dad?" I whispered, smiling warmly at him. What if this was the last night I would be human? What if Alice planned on taking me home and changing me?

I would have her wait. She could wait a night.

But considering the possible repercussions of _not _changing, I realized that if it was necessary to change tonight, I would have to. Because if they had demanded it and I didn't comply, I would be killed. Charlie and Alice and… Edward. _God, Edward_. Beautiful, sweet, innocent Edward would be killed, too. I didn't actually know how punishable their offense had been, but from what I knew about the Italian vampires, they didn't play around.

And from what I knew about Alice, in regards to this, nor would she. This was what I wanted, of course, I just wished… that I had time for a real goodbye.

I turned and walked slowly to the door, stunned by my revelation. Would these be the last steps in my house? Would I, tomorrow, be a vampire?

I stumbled to my truck, fighting with my pockets to free my keys. For a reason that I could not discern, my hands were shaking as I attempted to unlock the door. Excitement?

It's what I wanted, what's been plaguing my dreams for over a month. It's my darkest fantasy being made a reality; why, then, was I so nervous?

I reached over the cab blankly and unlocked the door for Alice. She climbed in, offered me an overly-concerned glance that I had seen all too many times from my parents, and averted her focus toward the window.

With a loud groan, the decrepit truck came to life and we were on the road.

I drove the winding roads in silence. I bounced enthusiastically in my chair as my fingers tapped nervously on the wheel. _This would be a _good_ thing_, I convinced myself. _I hope_.

"Bella," Alice broke the silence. I half-turned my head to her and smiled. "Are you okay?"

I took a second to consider what I was feeling.

"Bella, talk to me," she whispered.

I smiled and told her I was fine. I _was_ fine. I shrugged. "When?" I whispered, sparing her a glance.

"We have time," she insisted. She seemed so worried about me. But truly, the news was better than anything I expected to hear. What kind of punishment is it, if it's what I wanted all along? I could be bawling in the bed of the truck. I could be diving off a cliff into oblivion. I could be kicking and screaming, running for Florida. I was fine. But Alice was treating me like I was on the verge of a breakdown.

"How much?" I asked, considering my family.

"We'll know if they're coming," Alice responded, giving me a disengaged smile. Of course we would. Alice knew everything. In fact…

"Did you know?" I asked, keeping my focus on the road. "I mean," I continued, "of course you saw this coming?"

"I…" She let out a defeated sigh. "How much do you want to hear?"

"Wouldn't mind hearing all of it," I said with a shrug. True enough. I was an adult, and I had chosen to be friends with vampires, and I had chosen to go into that basement and I had chosen to come back every day. And this was what I wanted. What I dreamed of.

I pictured myself as a vampire. They were all so…_ beautiful_. I wondered if I would be beautiful, too. Beautiful enough to stand beside my vampire.

Alice peered through the windshield, her eyes narrowing as she watched the future unfold. She couldn't trick me. _I wonder what my power will be?_

**

I got out of the truck and moved calmly to the house. My hands were still shaking and I still couldn't get them under control. Alice not-so-subtly looked in my direction every few seconds, but for the most part, I ignored her. Now if only I could ignore my trembling fingers.

I walked through the front door.

Emmett was the only one in the living room, lounging on the couch with a thick, antique book resting in his hands. He looked up at me and his face shifted.

"Hey… guys," he said, standing to greet me. I smiled and waved.

"Hey, Em," I called, looking around the house. It didn't feel like my house, but I figured, in time, it would. Because soon enough, it'd be my house. I ran my fingers along the banister as I passed the staircase.

"You alr…" Emmett started to say, but something behind me stopped him. I could guess that it was Alice, but I couldn't make myself be angry. It didn't matter anymore. _Maybe once I'm a vampire she won't get away with these little nuisances._

I sighed and nodded. "I'm fine."

Several minutes later, when I was finally allowed exit, I moved quickly to the stairs. It was more out of habit than anything. Honestly, my emotions were still running haywire. It wasn't that I was afraid, or even sad, really. But something didn't feel completely right.

I needed a minute. To take things in. But I was sick of being apart from my vampire, and I was unwilling to grant myself that minute.

I reached the top of the stairs and moved to the bedroom quickly, creeping through the door that stood ajar.

I smiled immediately, noticing that he had fed. I loved Mondays.

"Hey," I said, kicking off my shoes and crawling over the bed. He looked edgy, as he always did after he had been fed, but there was more fear in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

He leaned up on his elbows as I made my way over to him, noticing a splotch of red on the pristine carpet. "Nothing," I answered calmly, eying the stain. "What happened?"

He followed my gaze downward as I molded my body to his, laying my head against his lightly rising chest. He smiled and quietly explained the morning he had had.

Part of me wanted to be angry with Carlisle for pushing him beyond where he was ready to go, but mostly I was _elated_ that he had tried to drink. It was difficult for me to notice day to day progress without these markers, and every time something big happened I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was in love.

And I was.

My mood had immediately shifted from his presence alone and I wrapped my fingers tightly around his.

I realized that I was too keyed up for our usual cuddling when I launched right into an elaborate tale of the nothingness that happened during lunch. It wasn't the news that I particularly wanted to share, so I wasn't sure why I chose that story over Alice's news.

"Let's go for a walk," I finally suggested, eager to be out of the house for a bit. _Maybe it would rain_. I looked out the window.

"Okay," Edward answered, standing tentatively. I got his shoes from the closet that I had left them in last Thursday and set them on the floor, walking back to the door to get my own.

We made quick work of the stairs, but once on the landing, I paced us slowly enough that he could examine things as he chose. As a rule, he seemed to enjoy taking in his surroundings, so it wasn't surprising when the walk to the door took exponentially longer than the walk to the stairs had. I realized, though, as I watched his hand trace the piano in the living room, that I loved watching him explore.

We walked quietly through the unoccupied room and toward the backdoor, across the lawn and down a familiar path in the woods. We were hand in hand, peacefully walking with our own thoughts. It was eerily close to any normal, everyday interaction.

I could picture telling my mom that I went for a walk with my boyfriend. My boyfriend. Edward. I chuckled to myself, which drew his attention.

"Nothing." I laughed quietly, imagining the future conversation I might have with Renee.

As we walked along the beat up paths, I tried to keep my mind away from the questions that were popping up at random.

I wanted to spend this evening with Edward. I needed it.

"So," I said, kicking a rock out of my path. "I talked to Alice today…"

He stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes. "I know," he whispered, tightening his grip around my hand.

I chanced a peek at him. He didn't look upset. But maybe he hadn't considered actually spending eternity with me. It was quite a commitment. I quashed that train of thought before it got out of control. I could use my alone time to dwell on it.

I changed the subject.

"So, yesterday…"

He smiled, hopefully at the same memory I was so giddy about.

"Yesterday," he repeated quietly.

Both lost in our own reminiscences, we walked a bit further, until finally reaching a spot by the river that I had been seeking out. I sat on a large rock that I frequently sought out, leaving enough room for Edward to sit beside me. He did, closing his eyes and leaning his head toward the sun. Inhaling deeply. It was these small moments that I absolutely adored about our evenings. I could practically feel his tranquility as his sparkling face tilted to the sky. It was divine.

We sat silently, my head resting against his shoulder as I listened to his even breathing.

As the chilly weather started causing my body to shiver, I turned further into Edward. I knew it was ridiculous, his body would only make mine cooler, but as his arm naturally wrapped itself around my shoulders, I couldn't find it in me to care.

I buried my nose in his t-shirt, wrapping my arms tighter around his waist, and felt his breath sweep across my forehead as he peered down at me.

I smiled into his chest.

Because, although the decision to be changed had been taken out of my hands prematurely, it didn't change things in the long run. This was always my choice. And I chose Edward. Every time.

**

**A/N**: Thank you so very much to everyone who nommed in the Bellies! VITB got into TWO categories (Plot you wish you came up with & Update you twitter about). **Voting is now open, so go check out all the amazing stories that are up! thecatt (dot) net!!**

I always have more to say here, and I always forget. So uhm, review? You know how much I like 'em.

This chapter length was a fluke (and massive, I apologize if you dislike long chaps), but since it went so long without an update, I decided not to cut it into two chapters. Hope you enjoyed.


	22. The Bracelet

**A/N**: Thanks to jilburm for betaing (even after all this time, 3) and ocd_indeed for validating and vixen1836 for prereading!. More a/n in the bottom thingie.

This chapter is graphic & dark… it earns its rating here, and not for sexy times.

**

**The Bracelet**

Bella POV

We sat there, for what could have been hours or months, lost in time, each completely surrounded by our own thoughts. As it turned out, when I was finally granted the moment I had so desperately wanted - to consider where my future lay - I could think of nothing more than the stoic figure wrapped protectively around me.

His cool hands rested gently on my wrists, and in that moment, I let myself see it. Not like before, when I'd pictured us side by side for brief flashes of time. Rather, I saw what could be, if I allowed it. A future panned out before my eyes, and I knew that, given the chance, we would be perfect together, Edward and me. And was I really the only thing that stood between us? My human fickleness, my sheer inability to make a decision and stick to it. Was that truly all that held us back?

I knew, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, that this was untrue. There was more to consider – aspects of my life that I hadn't even begun to realize were to change. There was that place, deep and dark and locked up tightly inside of me, that suspected it wouldn't be as easy as deciding it was what I wanted. But on that rock, as I leaned back into Edward's chest, feeling _whole _for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to pretend that maybe, just _maybe, _it could be that simple.

"What are you thinking?" Edward whispered, his cool breath sending a chill down my spine.

I smiled and something dangerously close to a contented sigh escaped me. I tilted my head back to catch his eyes, and was momentarily mesmerized by the deep amber of his gaze.

I wasn't beyond noticing the tremble in his voice. The hesitation with which every word was spoken, for fear of reprimand or something worse. Something that I had yet to comprehend. I didn't know how to gain his full trust, and honestly wasn't sure that he'd ever be able to grant it to me. Or perhaps this was as close as it got. I knew inherently that it was close enough. For now.

"I was thinking about," I began, gathering thoughts and reorganizing words and attempting to make something that didn't sound like a lovesick teenager's words come out of my mouth. "Us," I finished lamely.

The corners of Edward's lips turned up into his rendition of a grin, his eyebrows rising almost imperceptibly.

"Well," I continued, the blush intensifying in my cheeks. _Would I never be able to speak my feelings without it?_ "To be more precise, I was thinking about what changing me will mean… for us."

He nodded, understanding where my mind had been. I suspected, or perhaps hoped, that his was in a similar place.

There was silence while he let it sink in, a complete and total void in the outside sounds. I could feel his breathing and I could feel mine, and I could feel his gaze boring into my own, but if a pin had dropped in the forest in that moment, I'd have heard it without question.

Finally, he spoke. "What did you come up with?" There was a quiver in his voice, a solemnity in his demeanor.

His eyes looked hopeless; lost. Almost as if there was a part of him that actually expected a rejection. One I knew would never come.

I let the weight of his question bear down on me, knowing I needed to choose my next words carefully. I could feel the muscles in his hand tighten, his fingers tensing against my skin.

"Bella –" Edward said, his voice pained.

"Wait." I lifted my hands to cover his, and brought it to my cheek.

"Bel…" he began again, but his voice trailed off as I turned my face into his palm. I kissed his skin gently, before allowing my eyes to find his again. He opened his mouth to continue, but I didn't let him get so far. On their own volition, my hands traveled up his arm and tangled into the hair at the nape of his neck, drawing him nearer.

I twisted until I was resting on my knees, thinking that I would kill the first creature that tried to lay a finger on my vampire. My head turned slightly as I pulled him to me, but he wasn't budging. His dark eyes were guarded, and for a split second, I was petrified by his reluctance. _Was this not what he wanted?_

My mind raced through a thousand scenarios, thinking that this was all too soon – all happening too fast. He wasn't ready, might never be ready, might never have been ready. Too soon for him, and I was abusing him by taking his trust in me and turning it into something that he didn't want. The thoughts piled on top of one another. But as quickly as it came, the moment passed, and somehow his hands were on my hips and his lips were on mine.

He was pulling me closer to him and I was eagerly complying, until the distance between us was virtually nonexistent and the shiver in his chest rattled through my own. And I held him to me for all I was worth, making every effort to deepen the kiss. Like last night, he had none of it, which I suppose was just as well. In the back of my mind there were thoughts of teeth somehow associated with danger, but my brain wasn't working quite right in that moment, and I couldn't for the life of me bring myself to hold back.

Eventually, when I could no longer contain the chattering of my teeth, he started to pull away. I caught him before he got far, my hands still on his back and neck, and angled myself so that I could see his entire face.

"You're shaking," he whispered, the smile in his voice replacing the all too familiar tremble. I smiled and he smiled, and I laid my head on his shoulder and held myself to him.

I touched my lips to the bare skin in the hollow of his neck and closed my eyes once more.

"I was thinking that I'd be lost without you."

**

You'd think that, after seventeen years, I'd be seasoned enough at walking to make it an entire mile without tripping.

As we made our way back to the mansion, I told Edward about my weekend with Renee to distract myself from the cold. I told him about the time I spent on the shore and tried to describe why I loved the beach so much. I stumbled over my words, eager to get him to fully understand the unique smell of the water. I made a mental note to make sure he saw it – and soon.

Lost in my own ramblings, I didn't notice the branch that had fallen directly in my path. And of course, true to form, the toe of my sneaker caught when I reached it and I tumbled face first into the forest floor. I caught myself on my palms and groaned at the impact, rolling onto my back reflexively.

It was nothing out of the ordinary for me – more often than not I would have tripped – but Edward automatically tensed up as my face flushed. My track record had been _too _perfect around him – something like this was bound to happen eventually.

He watched me carefully as I stood, taking an inventory of my body, and brushed off my jacket. I moved my wrists in every direction to make sure I had come out in one piece.

My left hand was tender, but it wasn't too bad, and there was a sharp pain in my forearm, but I could make it to the house – I'd definitely had worse.

"I'm good," I said, walking ahead in an effort to get back on track and take the attention off of my clumsiness.

Edward remained tense and inhaled sharply as he briskly approached me. "You're hurt," he said, his anxious hands reaching for my left arm. I froze in place as the red began to seep through my shirt. I've never been particularly squeamish, as I was prone to bloodshed at least quarterly, but injuries in the presence of vampires tended to make me more nervous than nicks in the shower.

I understood that this was one of the Cullens' red-alert situations. Honestly, I _got _why. But as far as I knew, Edward still wasn't drinking blood. Regardless, I wasn't positive if he'd be able to control himself. That deep dark place inside me spoke up again, warning me that if Jasper, after years of practice, still struggled, maybe I was being too trusting of the recently-domesticated vampire before me.

I unconsciously held my breath, watching him carefully for any sign that he might decide to make me his first meal. I suppose, to be fair, there was nothing I could do about it either way.

I briefly considered screaming for Alice. She could probably make it in time – after all, they had a way about saving me. But something about the way Edward watched me, still completely himself and still so overly timid, made me feel safe with him.

I impulsively decided that it was fine. For a brief moment, shame assaulted me for doubting my vampire, before finally the pain in my arm overruled it.

I raised my right hand to my forearm and touched it, examining the stain on my shirt. _Yep_, I confirmed quickly, _definitely blood._

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes soft and concerned. He swallowed, his shoulders still rigid, and as I stared at him, I noticed that he wasn't breathing.

"I'm fine," I responded. I held my palm firmly around the gash and started moving forward again. I tried to walk quickly, recognizing that if he was holding his breath my blood had to be at least, on some level, appealing to him. No harm in upping the pace a bit. My strides were longer and more deliberate, and I worried that I might be offending him by my lack of faith in his control.

"You can't," he began, speeding his pace to match mine. "You can't go back there like this…" He paused, eying me speculatively. "Can you?"

I thought about this. Of course I could go back there. And Carlisle would patch me up, just like every other time I'd taken a spill.

I kept walking as I explained and considered, but Edward remained hesitant. It still surprised me, his lack of faith in Carlisle. Even with his mind reading, Edward's trust in the family was only minimally growing. I suppose I wasn't helping things along, and I probably needed to work on that.

I spent the rest of the walk focusing on keeping one foot in front of the other, and when we finally neared the house, I felt his hand on my arm. I turned on my heels, regarding him carefully, as his eyes narrowed on the mansion.

"Edward, this is silly –" I began, but he shook his head.

"Please," he said, "just wait." He looked at me imploringly and repeated, "Please."

He had never requested anything of me before, save for that first night he had spoken, so I figured I owed it to him to grant him this. I stood still, watching him for some sign that we could advance. Honestly, I'd bled far worse than this before, and I wasn't exactly sure what we were waiting for, but Edward's eye remained fixed on the house in front of us.

"Edward?" I asked, watching him closely.

With a deep exhale, he motioned us forward.

**

I smiled sheepishly as we reentered the house and immediately began seeking out Carlisle. The living room felt eerily quiet, as I suspected it would; as it was every time a drop of my blood was shed.

I didn't bother wondering where the others had gone. It was irrelevant, really. My safety was compromised the instant I had tripped in the woods and I assumed that Alice had warned them off. For all their control, it still wasn't worth it for them to stick around.

I took a moment to note the irony of the fact that Edward was seemingly unaffected by my blood. But of course he would be, given his condition. Carlisle practically had to force blood down his throat (in fact, he had to do _just_ that). Still, the vampire that everyone regarded as the most dangerous seemed the absolute safest for me to be around in this situation.

Edward stiffened at my side, his reaction alerting me that Carlisle was nearby. I gave his hand a light squeeze as I cradled my arm to my chest.

A quick glance at him confirmed that the presence of the others was still agonizing for him. His tense shoulders and rigid jaw as he inhaled deeply told me he was beginning to panic. No matter how far we seemed to come in our time alone, he still wasn't adjusting to the Cullens. A wave of guilt over my selfishness with him crashed over me. It was one of those things that I'd known for weeks that we needed to put more effort into but couldn't bring myself to sacrifice our time alone for. That would have to change soon, but not right now. Right now I wanted Carlisle to myself.

"Do you want to wait upstairs?" I asked, moving toward the kitchen.

He swallowed and shook his head. "I'm okay," he whispered, visibly trying to loosen his muscles.

The bravado was unnecessary. I'd been through this a thousand times – having the life of a terminally clumsy teenager. I'd be fine on my own for a bit.

"Edward," I began, loosening my death-grip on his fingers. "It'll only take a few minutes." I spoke softly, hoping the truth of my statement was not lost in my tone.

"Are you sure?" he asked, making the first timid step toward the staircase. I gave him the most encouraging smile I could muster and nodded, biting the inside of my lip.

He concentrated on the door to the kitchen intently for several minutes, noiselessly taking in Carlisle's thoughts. "He won't…?"

"Nah," I said, unable to contain my smile. Carlisle felt the exact same way about Edward. "Carlisle's used to it."

"Okay," he answered reluctantly, retreating to the stairs. I turned and walked into the kitchen, trusting that Edward would make it to his bedroom.

**

I was seated at the island, my left hand flat against the surface, as Carlisle maneuvered around the sink.

He turned to me and walked over, placing his medical bag next to my outstretched arm and removing some of his supplies.

The bag tipped on its side, revealing its contents as bandages and antiseptic poured out.

"I don't suppose I need to tell you how dangerous it is," Carlisle began, as he applied something to my palm. "Despite his inability to eat, tempting him doesn't seem wise."

"It was an accident," I grumbled, averting my eyes to the spilled products on the tile.

Something small and white caught my attention.

"I know," he continued, launching into a monologue about the importance of being excessively careful and the fact that Edward hasn't had years of practice and something about bloodlust. My attention to the lecture was split as my gaze fixed on the little object that had spilled out of the bag.

I moved my good hand toward it, pushing an icepack out of my way to get a better view. As I suspected, the small bracelet lay just out of my reach. I leaned my body into it, my fingers lightly grazing the laminate, and hooked my forefinger around the paper.

"Where did you…" I began, but I already knew the answer. Images of the first few days with Edward flashed before my mind. How far he had come in so little time. It wasn't really fair of me to expect him to open up already. Somewhere, in the corner of my mind, I realized that he was far more broken than he had been letting on.

I swallowed and turned the bracelet between my fingers, learning it. I put the two ends together, as they would have been before Carlisle snapped it, and regarded the size. It was tiny, another reminder of the condition we had found him in. I don't think I'd have been able to fit it around my wrist if I wanted to.

Carlisle cleared his throat and leaned his elbows on the island. "I've checked every database I know to check," he explained. "Asked every doctor I have encountered, referenced every book.

"The strange thing about _this_," he said, reaching out for the bracelet, "is that it's completely devoid of any identifier, other than this barcode." He fingered the black lines, his eyes narrowing as he examined it. I had a feeling that he could replicate the pattern with his eyes closed by now, yet still he viewed it with the same intense curiosity and attention of someone who had never before seen it.

"What does it mean?" I ask stupidly, chiding myself for the unanswerable question.

"I'm not sure," he responded. "Any hospital would have some sort of ID – something to tell us which facility it came from. I'd expect the same of any government sponsored organization, although I can't be sure." He took a breath. "A private organization is something to think about, but I can't imagine how any privately owned facility could contain one of us. They either have inexhaustible resources or there's something else at play here…

"I worry that we've hit a road block. Aro gave me far less than I had hoped for… Edward still isn't talking. I'd say it's safe to assume that this – whatever it is – _place _that had him is informal. Something underground, wholly out of the public eye.

"Edward said something," Carlisle explained, his eyebrows knit together as he continued his examination of the bracelet. I realized that, if Edward could trust anyone, it was Carlisle. Still, the fact that Edward had opened up to him filled me with both shock and… pride?

Carlisle's eyes snapped up to meet mine, and I felt more, in that moment, that my thoughts were being plucked from my mind, than I ever had in Edward's presence.

Carlisle nodded, silently telling me he understood what I was feeling. I trusted Carlisle implicitly, more than I trusted anyone else in the world, and the fact that Edward was willing to begin to build that foundation filled me with more hope than I had felt in years. Even with the events of the past few weeks, Edward opening up to Carlisle was the most encouraging action of all.

"He said someone left him," he continued, "that he couldn't remember much, but there was definitely another person involved."

I smiled at Carlisle, who nodded knowingly. "Honestly," he said, "I expected as much. In the condition he was in when we found him, there was no way he got so far from civilization on his own. The question becomes, was it a trap?"

I assumed the question was rhetorical so I let it slide without incident.

"It's disconcerting," Carlisle continued, "knowing that, whatever the case, someone is aware of our presence…"

I hadn't considered that, but it was true. Regardless of _who_ planted Edward, someone _had_ to have known of the Cullen's roots here.

"… But with Alice keeping an eye out, we expect to have the advantage on any forthcoming attack."

"Who do you think left him?" I asked, again knowing that Carlisle didn't have the answers. I suppose, in retrospect, I was so deprived of answers that I was desperate for anything. Carlisle's best guess was bound to be at least somewhat more founded than mine.

Carlisle considered this, twisting the bracelet absently in his fingers. "That _is_ the question, isn't it?" he whispered, almost inaudibly.

As if snapping from some reverie, he handed the bracelet back to me and straightened up, smiling. "It's not something that you should feel individually responsible for figuring out, Bella. The best way to go about this is to work as a family, as we have always done. You're part of this family now, and you need to know that we'll back you, whichever direction this goes." He began replacing the spilled contents into his bag. "But, that being said, if Edward's going to trust anyone, it's going to be you."

I nodded in understanding. "Do you mind if I borrow this?"

Carlisle shook his head and smiled. "Not at all."

**

By the time I got to the bedroom, Edward had already curled in on himself and lay silently on his side.

Still overly careful not to startle him, I knocked quietly before making my way to the bed.

Crawling across the mattress, I rearranged myself so that I lay behind him, my head propped on my elbow.

"Hey," I whispered, surprised when he moved to sit up rather than remain in his protective shell. I smiled.

"Is your arm okay?" he asked me timidly, peering at the white gauze that covered my flesh. I moved it every which way, demonstrating.

"Carlisle's a genius. Didn't feel a thing." I pulled my knees in and sat upright, covertly moving my hand to his. His actions mirrored my own, and soon, we were sitting side by side on the mattress, only connected by the tips of our fingers. If there was something I was exceptionally lacking in, it was being suave. While I wouldn't go so far as to call Edward my _boyfriend_, at this point in our relationship, I was sufficiently awkward and inexperienced.

So far, everything between us had come so naturally, I hardly even realized that I was actually making a connection with a human male. Well, maybe not wholly _human_, but still. Six weeks ago I wasn't even looking at the opposite sex. How far we'd come.

I squeezed his hand with my good one. "See?" I whispered, my attempt to cut the tension falling short of its mark. "Fine…" I trailed off, biting my bottom lip, marveling at the change in dynamic. _My vampire _asking _me_ if I was okay. It was definitely uncharted territory.

My hands fiddled nervously with everything in reach, unsure of where we should go from here. Obviously, Edward wasn't ready for me to attack him again as I would have liked to, but the memory of our first and last kiss still brought butterflies to my stomach.

In the recesses of my mind I knew that I was absently fidgeting, keeping my hands occupied lest they act out on their own will again, but before I even realized what happened, Edward was cringing away from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, still unaware of my blunder. _Had he finally learned how to read my mind?_ _Was my indecision too much for him?_ But no, I couldn't afford not to trust him. If he could read my mind, he would've told me.

Still, knowing what Edward was capable of, I couldn't help but worry that maybe my thoughts weren't as safe as I thought they were.

I compiled a list of what could have set him off, unsure of where to start, before stopping dead in my tracks. I looked down at my hands, the bracelet pinched in between my fingers, and felt my throat constrict in a feeling only to be described as panic.

Honestly, I had intended to bring it up eventually… but with some sort of segue. I wanted to make sure that it was the right time, and that he would be okay if I questioned him. I wanted the understanding that Edward was ready for it. Not like this. Catching him off guard and ambushing him with souvenirs of his past was far from the way I had imagined the evening going, and as Edward continued to recoil, I knew I had to do _something_.

Impulsively, I cupped the bracelet in my hands, exposing it fully to him. I held my arms out before me, the band laid innocently in my palms. It was a token of my trust and confidence in him, and I hoped to anyone who might be listening that he would see it as such. Hiding it at this point would be useless, I imagined, and although I was on very thin ice, I could see no other alternative.

Edward cowered as his grip on his knees tightened, and closed his eyes. His expression was pained as his head shook almost imperceptibly, his lips pursed tightly as he fought to maintain whatever calmness he had left. I could only imagine the memories I might have triggered, and for a few extended moments I worried that I had made one very wrong move. I started to close my hands around the bracelet and retreat – anything to end his current bout of suffering – when I heard his breath catch.

Panicked, I remained silent and frozen, holding the bracelet out in front of me.

"Where… Where did you get that?" he finally asked, his shoulders trembling as his eyes finally opened. His voice was timid, reserved, and I saw his hand twitch toward mine. As my focus left his petrified face and traveled to his outstretched fingers, I noticed his trembling was growing violently.

"Edward," I said, keeping my voice even and calm. _Maybe he didn't remember_, I reminded myself. Those first few weeks had become hazy even to _me_, and he had barely been coherent. Could he have been too far gone to have any concept of his surroundings? Of what was being done to him? The thought sent a chill to my spine as, once again, I noted how severely damaged this vampire before me really was. "Carlisle took it off of you – do you remember?"

His eyes remained locked on my hands as he peered at the lines sprawled across the material. He swallowed, and I hesitantly stretched my arms further toward him. When his fingertips first grazed the bracelet, he immediately pulled back, as if the material physically repelled him. But eventually, with dark, guarded eyes focused entirely on the object in my hands, he reached out again.

He took the band from me tentatively, regarding it as if it, in and of itself, was the enemy, but also with a sense of grim curiosity. His eyes squinted as his brow pulled together, his shaking hands keeping a very light grip on the only token of his past that we had.

I let him take his time with it, knowing he needed to work through his demons at his own pace, and studied him quietly. The hard set of his jaw as he examined the numbers. The tense line of his mouth. Every change in his breathing. Every change in his eyes.

Eventually, I spoke.

"I," I started, working up the courage to ask my questions. "Will you tell me about it?" I finally finished.

His focus left the bracelet and he met my gaze with sad, despondent eyes. He smiled, but it was all hopelessness and despair, and filled me first with sadness, quickly replaced by anger and hatred and murderous thoughts of those who did this to him. Because, despite what he was prior to his change, I couldn't imagine a creature in the world that I would inflict such intense pain on. That I could stomach damaging so thoroughly as they did my vampire.

He shrugged and sighed, the kind of sigh that signifies the end of hope, the shrug that says _I surrender_, and I really, truly didn't want him to surrender to me. I wanted him to talk to me, of course, but not because he felt as if I had taken his choices. Not in response to some horrific wrong that was inflicted on him, which made him think he _had_ no choice in the matter. And certainly not for fear of what would happen to him should he refuse.

"This," he whispered shakily, nodding at the bracelet. He swallowed in preparation to continue. He looked back to me, his eyes wide and deep and _open_. I felt as though he was, for the first time, actually opening himself up to me. The vulnerability in his eyes told me _I trust you_, and not _I surrender_. It was for that reason alone that I let him continue.

"Where to start?" he said, mostly to himself.

And my heart almost burst out of my chest, because for an instant I thought _maybe_. Maybe my vampire was ready to finally give me something of his past that I so desperately needed.

"Anywhere," I whispered, and he nodded in understanding. He knew. So perceptive, he was, after living years upon years with no human interaction. Would he never stop amazing me?

He took a breath, looked at me, and with a shake of his head, I could see the brick wall he surrounded himself with begin to crumble.

"The room was small," came his low voice. I exhaled, watching him carefully. I'd been waiting for this moment for weeks, and I didn't want to make a single false step. He looked around the bedroom that had slowly become his with bleak eyes, finally settling his cheek on his knees and looking at me. He swallowed, breaths coming harder now, and made to continue.

"I don't know how many times I broke my fingers, trying to dig my way out… but the walls – they were too strong. Some sort of metal? I could never make the smallest dent." His voice had become a strangled whisper, almost inaudible from where I sat. I nodded.

He inhaled deeply, his face contorted in concentration, his eyes keeping a lock on mine.

"Only one time… in all those years… I made it past the doors." I let my hand rest on his, an offer of comfort or encouragement or… something, I hoped. Urging him to continue.

"I was weak… and losing my mind. The hunger and the…"

He looked at me, gauging my reactions? I was determined to keep a mask of calm, despite whatever he chose to tell me.

"I was weak…" He trailed off and inhaled. He was struggling to tell me, and I could see it, but curiosity and need kept me from stopping him. From interrupting him. I'd let him take all the time he wanted.

"But they hadn't guessed that I'd… saved any strength…. When I stopped fighting them, they got sloppy. Assuming I was spent, I guess… I almost was, but their small changes, the tiny nuances that oozed carelessness, gave me hope…

"They came in, as they always did… and through the hunger and the drive for survival, I allowed it. I forced my body into compliance; I didn't fight them. For weeks… or months… Maybe it was only days." He closed his eyes slowly and shrugged. I could feel my heart constricting but I remained silent.

"And then they were dead by my hand, the two of them, their bodies merely a mess on the floor and a bad memory. I didn't have time to think, to act rationally, I only knew to run. So I did.

"I was so hungry, so very hungry… but the swarm of voices, of shouting, in my head and before me… the confounding corridors… the other voices that told me I wasn't the only one they had captured… they all took their toll.

"But still, I ran, because… I had no other option. I was being driven by instinct alone, but I could feel my body slipping. The drugs, the experiments, the pain, the hunger… the voices… I was slowing, and I felt myself being cornered in. I tried picking out voices with clarity, honing in on individuals to get a concept of what was happening. All I knew with certainty was that they were coming at me from all sides, and that when they caught me, it'd be over.

"So I kept running," he gulped, "dragging myself further, toward any escape I could find… but I found none. And my body was running out of steam and I couldn't make it work… but the beast inside me only knew to keep pushing forward."

His expression grew more pained, if that was possible. I wanted to tell him to stop – that I didn't want to hear it and that I didn't want to know any more of what he'd been through. It was mostly true, as I imagined this was the tame version, but still, I kept quiet, forcing my voice not to betray my thoughts.

"I heard a scream then, and I knew with certainty that it was… another. A beast like me that was being tortured at these cruel hands. I didn't think… didn't know if I could leave her there while I made my escape… And it caused enough of a… hesitation… that the first blow was delivered precisely and accurately. My vision went black for an instant and in that instant, the second blow was delivered.

"I was so weak already… and I couldn't see or hear beyond the unspoken voices, and it was a fury of hatred – aimed at hurting me. I could feel the fire… traveling through my limbs as countless men brutalized my body, and I kept trying – trying to fight, to kill or maim – anything. And my arms were torn from their sockets and the woman's screams were drowned out by something inside me."

I was numb with his story, and at that point he seemed to remember me there. He opened his eyes and looked at me, searching for permission to continue. His breathing was labored and pained, but there was a sort of vitality to his voice – with his pain came the hope. Getting this off of his chest had to have had some sort of positive bearing on him, although I wasn't sure I'd be able to hear his whole story.

"Keep going," my voice whispered against my mind's will. It was weak, a pathetic attempt to keep him talking, as the majority of my being wished he would stop.

He nodded then, and continued. "When I had stopped fighting, and was reduced to nothing but a limp body lying in the arms of my captors, something wet and liquid was forced into me, my mouth locked closed.

"A new man appeared, younger, his smile reassuring through my hazy eyes. He told me to swallow and I didn't… Of course I didn't… I didn't require breath for anything… and there was nothing to make me swallow. The man looked around, and I saw in his head the things he would do until I swallowed.

"He kept me there, on the floor in the huge metal hallway, creating fire in my veins and my blood and my bones… all the way through my body, until I finally gave in.

"As I swallowed, he ran his hand through my hair and thanked me… He told me to relax, that I would be okay. But at the same time, his mind told me otherwise.

"And I wanted his hands off of me, but the fire was still spreading through me and I couldn't find the energy to fight, so I turned my head away, and his hands turned with it.

"I spent the next several weeks in the cell… without a person to enter or leave. My mind was gone, I couldn't understand the thoughts I was hearing, I couldn't understand why I was being left alone… And I found myself growing more scared than I was before… My thoughts were haunted with the other screams I had heard; with the frantic thoughts of others of my kind being put through this. And at the same time, I needed to know I hadn't been forgotten about, left to the cell for the rest of eternity without ever encountering another living being.

"I know it sounds strange – my need for them to return – but the isolation on top of the hunger and the pain was driving me madder than before. I craved any kind of activity, even knowing if I was granted my wish, it would only bring more pain… But pain I could handle at that point. It was still early in my time there, and I hadn't realized just how bad it could get.

"When the door finally opened, I immediately knew my own fate. The new men, two of them, approached me with caution, gauging my weakness. The drugs still sat in my system, my energy completely depleted. Sleep wouldn't bring me awareness – only blood would do that. And blood was at the mercy of my captors.

"I didn't have any fight left to put up when they came for me, and before I knew what was happening, I was being pushed down against a cool table. Heavy bands covered my wrists… my ankles, my chest, my torso. I tried to struggle, but I just didn't have anything left.

"They put a tube into my nose, forced it down my throat and to my stomach, and I could do nothing but lay there and take it.

"And I tried to swallow, to beg them to stop, but it was in vain. Nothing came out of my throat, until I heard the whirl of a machine coming to life. I tried to look, to see what was to be done, but could see nothing through my own eyes.

"I saw in their heads, though, and that was enough. I watched through their eyes as the tool came to my chest, puncturing it, creating a fire that I had never experienced before. My body revolted, and I could no longer be in their heads – I could only lay there and endure it. It felt like hours before the device came out of my body, and the instant relief had me gasping for breath.

"I knew it wasn't all out, just as I knew it wouldn't be coming out, but the immediate torture was over, and I was well beyond spent.

"That day – that they came in to put it in my chest – that was the day they put this wristband on me," Edward said, his eyes refocusing on the object in his hand. "I don't know why.

"And then they released me from the straps, and my body ached to recoil, to put as much distance between us as I could, but at that point I wasn't yet used to the pain, and I wasn't used to the lack of energy, to the lack of substance – to the lack of anything.

"My chest burned all the way down to my toes and I wasn't sure if I could survive the burn for any amount of time… but I did, day in and day out… for the next sixty years.

"And as they left the room, I caught glimpses of their thoughts.

"_Won't be getting out again_, _He can try_, _He'll learn_…

"And they were right, and I learned quickly.

"I wasn't fed again for several months, but as soon as I had the chance, I tried again to escape. I was in full strength, as I had just fed, so I used it to my advantage and bypassed the men altogether. But as soon as I crossed the threshold, I went down, my chest being stabbed with a thousand knives, my lungs constricted and senses numbed but for the pain. And I knew, without a doubt, that this was the result of the device left inside me.

"I crawled my body further, until I was up against a wall… I tried… to crawl further, to get away from the cell and away from the pain, but it neither eased nor strengthened, and eventually I couldn't move. I made a last ditch effort to edge myself along the wall. It was useless, though, and soon I was facing the feet of the man who was now in charge – the man who had run his hands through my hair.

"He offered me his hand, but knew in his mind that I couldn't take it. So he sighed and leaned down, helping me to my feet.

"I fell immediately, though, weak and unsteady, my vision darkened and the pain still running through my chest.

"It stopped when I was, once again, locked back in the room.

"He wanted to use me – to help him capture more of my own kind. He had the greatest plans for me out of anyone who I ever learned to be in charge. He intended to break me as a weapon, and have me do his bidding for him, and he was willing to go to great lengths to achieve it. Many times, I thought he might succeed.

"All my life, I've been able to count on one thing: that I would know and understand people's intentions. Aro – his intentions were unclear to me, and that tells me only that he isn't to be trusted wholly. I don't think he's against me, but he gets that same look in his eye that the men who wanted me and would do anything to get me."

Edward was curled up tightly now, his own memories haunting him as much as they haunted me.

"How did you get out?" I asked, when I found my voice. Could it still be inside of him?

As if reading my mind, he continued shakily, "I did everything I could," he whispered, horrified, "to get it out. I… tore through my own skin, as if it were my enemy, what little blood and venom I had coating my hands as I ripped through muscle and bone." He exhaled, the slight tremor in his breath alerting me to his pain.

"That day… I felt my chest ripped open," he explained, "one last time."

When it was clear he had no intention of going further, and the silence had settled in, I spoke.

"Edward," I whispered. His eyes snapped up to meet mine, and I blinked away the pooled tears there. I didn't know what I needed to say to him, but I needed to say _something_. I moved closer and put my arms around him as he lay back, curling in on himself.

After several minutes of silence I finally whispered, "Are you okay?"

**

Some time later, I found myself clutching my still-shaking vampire.

His body lay tightly against my chest, the mild tremble of his shoulders encouraging me to hold him closer. My knees bent and molded around his, my head propped up on one elbow with my other hand resting protectively on his shoulder. We were still resting on our sides, his eyes trained out the large plate glass window and staring, unfocused, into the darkness of the woods. The moon was high and beautiful, but he wouldn't be seeing it tonight. Not after that.

I ran my fingers across his forehead and through his hair, pushing the stray strands away from his face. His eyes closed reflexively and a shiver ran through him, but still he didn't make a sound.

I didn't know what he needed or how to help him through this, so we lay in a tense silence while we worked through our own thoughts. I had no idea what I could do with the information he gave me, but, at the very least, it signified something greater than I ever could have hoped for. Edward was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the strongest creature I had ever met. And I loved him.

"You're safe now," I finally said. I leaned over him and kissed his forehead, letting the back of my hand linger on his cheek. "They'll never touch you again, Edward."

**

**A/N**: Soo… yeah, that was a bad hiatus, and I'm sorry. So much thank you to each and every person who is reading this. Even if there are only 4 of you left, know that it means the world to me, and I promise I will finish this story for you (even if there is another update fail in the future).

To everyone who sent in PMs and reviews and posted on the thread: Most of you know by now I was in serious internet (and real life) fail. Thank you so much for the pms and the nice reviews and posts and general support. Believe it or not, it's what got the story going again. So thank you.

P.S. if that was too graphic for you: well, I don't anticipate future chapters being such.


	23. The Vision

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! (wow, it's really been a year?)

**A/N:** Much love to jilburfm (and her new baby!) & ocd_indeed, as usual. Much love to the reviewers and readers and clickers of chapter 22... blew me away, as usual. More in the end notes, as usual.. x)

**

**Previously **on _the Vampire in the Basement_. Bella came back from Florida after the Volturi visit and shared a steamy kiss with Edward. She left for the night, followed be Edward attempting to drink for real (instead of being fed) and confessing to Carilsle that someone had been with him when he was left in the woods. Also, Bella learned that her future could involve some vamptasticness... And then Bella came back over, and Edward told her a story about his dark history**. **Which brings us to:**  
**

**

**The Vision**

**

Bella POV

I spent the following two days at odds with myself. I trusted the Cullens' decisions implicitly, and I figured that I would go along with whatever they decided, but there was still that fraction of my brain that felt like I should be doing _something_.

I knew that stressing out over it would only make the situation worse, but Edward's story had rattled me. When I left the house that night, Carlisle had pulled me aside, all concerned eyes and tense shoulders.

I stood by the door helplessly, shrugging and doing what I could to keep the unshed tears from escaping. I felt like I had been doing this a lot lately, but I couldn't help it.

Between the grief for Edward's suffering and the anger for those who inflicted it (and a thousand other unnamed feelings), my emotions were running out of control. And Carlisle, usually the pinnacle of composition, emitted waves of pity and uncertainty as we stood in awkward silence.

"Bella," he whispered, putting a fatherly hand on my shoulder.

I sighed and shrugged again, aiming for nonchalance, and the tears fell.

"Bella," he said again.

I shook my head. "No, I'm… I'm okay," I said. I struggled for composure, and he caught the hint.

He didn't say another word, but opened the door for me.

"You'll be alright to get home?"

I nodded and ducked onto the porch.

"Carlisle?" I called back, as his silhouette shadowed the door frame. "You won't let them hurt him, right?"

Carlisle nodded solemnly, and a false smile tugged at his lips.

"Not as long as I'm standing."

**

That was when the nightmares began.

For the past two nights, I awoke every few hours to the horrifying belief that _they _had him. He was _always_ screaming. And, without fail, the dreams carried a vivid truth to them.

But, as I drove home from school on Wednesday afternoon, I knew I had to get a grip. Dinner with Dad. Should be interesting, to say the least.

**

I took my place at the table, across from Charlie, and kept my focus on my plate. Things had been fairly awkward since I moved back to Forks, but I'd be remiss to say my recent lifestyle changes didn't further the distance between us.

I love Charlie, I really and truly do, but we've never had much in common. And while I enjoyed our fishing trips and birthday traditions and wouldn't trade them for the world, table conversation was often strained.

Today was no exception, and it was only multiplied by the fact that it was my first dinner at home in weeks.

Charlie cleared his throat.

"Smells good," he said, his hand automatically reaching for his neck. I smiled and nodded in way of thanks.

Silence.

I stabbed a bite of lasagna and shoveled it into my mouth. I had hopes of this dinner going better – of some sort of bonding with Charlie to close a bit of that distance that had come between us.

I heaved out a sigh and started to speak.

"School treatin' you well?" Charlie said, just as my words were forming.

"Yeah." I fumbled with my glass. "Everything's going great." I fingered the rim of my glass and nodded my head.

"Keeping up with your studies?" he asked through a mouthful of food. "I know you've been kind of busy," he added as an afterthought.

And there it was.

I guess it was better to get it over with, since it was bound to happen eventually. This morning, as I mused over how to handle this exact conversation, I decided to be as honest as circumstances would allow. Granted, my half-truths would be laced with full-lies, the information I surrendered would be tainted beyond recognition, but I wanted to be as honest as possible. For Charlie.

He deserved better than what I was giving him, and while I knew this, I wasn't in much of a position to change things. Still, I could do whatever was in my power to tilt the scale more toward his side.

"I know," I said, nodding. Why couldn't I have a normal boyfriend? One that I could bring home and introduce to Charlie and Renee and sneak out with at night?

I knew I didn't actually want one, but I did wish I could bring Edward home.

"Cullens keeping you busy?"

We both sort of chuckled awkwardly before returning to our food.

"You know," Charlie said, as he finished up his first helping, "you can talk to me."

I continued methodically pushing food into my mouth, letting our eyes meet to convey my understanding.

"I know I'm not your mother," he continued, "and I know it's probably not easy… But if you need anything, I'm here."

Pushing back, he went to the counter to refill his plate, and I took a second to gather my wits.

"I know, Dad," I said. "It's not that… it's just…"

His attention came back to me, his face filled with hope of what I would say. Deep breath; this wouldn't be so bad. "It's complicated."

Charlie exhaled deeply, nodding his head. "You wanna tell me about it? I know I may not seem the type, but I had my fair share of problems when I was your age." Charlie pointed to himself. "Famous ladies' man."

I repressed a chuckle.

"It's…" My cheeks puffed out as I held my breath. Charlie took his place but ignored his food. I had his full attention. _Great_. "It's about a boy."

He nodded, certainly feeling in tune with his inner teenager. He'd no doubt guessed this, and was probably feeling pretty smug and confident in his parenting skills. If only he knew.

"Yep," he said, his hand going back to his neck, "that's what I figured."

I couldn't contain my smile, realizing that I _wanted _to tell Charlie. No one outside of the Cullens knew, and ordinarily my father wouldn't have been my first choice, but as I sat at that dinner table, I knew he was _exactly_ who I wanted to tell.

"You know, Bells," he said, "you didn't have to hide it. I told you, you're old enough to date… I'd just like to know what's going on."

There was a pause while he ate another bite.

Then, out of nowhere, came, "It's that big one, isn't it?"

**

Two hours later, after a sufficiently awkward discussion about boys, the Cullens (and their distant cousin who was staying with them), safe sex practices, Charlie's first girlfriend, and wrapping up with the dangers of premature marriage, I stood, hoping my message was clear. I'd reached my limit for the night, despite my budding guilt over Charlie's eagerness and satisfaction that I was finally spending an evening with him.

"Bells," Charlie said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "hold up a sec."

I froze briefly mid-rise and, as I overcompensated for the hesitation, my knee jammed painfully into the leg of the table.

I squeezed my eyes shut and wobbled to the sink, muttering oaths under my breath, when I heard Charlie chuckle.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he cleared the rest of the table.

I stopped the ungraceful dance I had begun and looked at him.

"I wanna meet him," Charlie said. My grimace deepened.

With my protest hanging on the tip of my tongue, ready for its release, Charlie held up his hands. "Now, I know I said you can date. You can make your own decisions – but Bella, cut your old man a break? I'll make dinner," he said, thinking about the implications of this just a moment too late. "Er," he continued, "I'll buy us dinner."

Noticing my hesitation he added, "It'll be… nice."

Before it could go any further, I quickly got my words in. "I don't think so, Dad. Not this week… Maybe some other time…"

I was floundering, making every effort to get myself and my vampire out of a situation that clearly would never happen to begin with. Obviously, there was no way dinner was even a remote possibility, and I could only hope that Charlie would let it drop. As much as I wished it was different, I knew implicitly that there was no way my dad would ever meet my vampire. None.

And, as if pulling the thoughts right from my mind, he nodded his head. "Alright, Bells." He stood, bringing his plate to the sink. "I trust you."

And with that, I was released for the night.

**

I sat in my bed, easing my mind and letting go of the day, of the conversation, just trying to calm myself down. It had been a long evening, no doubt, and I was glad for it to have ended. It was the first day I had gone without seeing my vampire since my weekend away, and I was antsy for tomorrow.

A feeling of unease weighed me down any time I had to go long periods without seeing him. I did realize that it wasn't the end of the world – going a day without being near him – but what if it was?

I knew the dangers we faced were bigger than him or me, bigger than normal high school relationships and bigger than a girl falling for a vampire. Because there was a very real threat still out there.

I pulled the purple flowered curtain aside and looked out over the woods. I didn't feel that I was in any danger – I didn't feel as though my father or my friends were in any danger. What I felt was that, at any moment, the Cullens could come under the attack of some super secret, super advanced group and I had no idea how to prevent that particular string of events. If they had captured Edward and all of those other vampires, of course they could capture the Cullens too.

And I wasn't naïve enough to believe that I would be of any help in the event of said attack, but I couldn't bear the thought that I could lose them at the drop of a hat. There was nothing saying that it wouldn't be tonight, or tomorrow, or over the weekend. I knew something had to be done – but what could be done to stop an invisible force?

What we lacked was knowledge, and although Carlisle was under the strict impression that Alice would be their saving grace, I wasn't so convinced. Alice had been wrong before. Alice had missed things before. And people had gotten around Alice's talents before.

After all – she certainly hadn't seen Edward coming.

I swallowed back my anxiety and let the curtain fall, closing my eyes and shoving my headphones over my ears, praying the soothing melody would ward off the nightmares.

It didn't.

**

There was a shrill noise coming from somewhere, but I wasn't sure where. I abruptly realized it was coming from me, but I couldn't stop it. All I knew was that I had to get to him… and my body wasn't working. I was standing on the other side of a two-way mirror, my fists banging on the glass, but it went unnoticed. They were all watching _him, _and it was as if I wasn't even there.

I could feel the tears pouring down my face as I slammed my hands over and over into the window. I could see that Edward was screaming, too, but I couldn't hear him. All I could hear was the laughing, the smoke from their cigars filling the room and the laughing. I couldn't even see the men surrounding me, it was so dark. I was focused on one thing, and he was about to be destroyed.

I woke with a start, my heart thumping in overtime in my chest, and threw my hands over my mouth to muffle the screams I knew were still coming from me.

It was still dark. I tried to look at the clock but I couldn't see anything. I was dizzy, so dizzy, and the tears were still free falling. I tried to force myself to get a grip, but could only fumble around on my bed looking for the light.

It was just a dream. Edward was fine. It was a dream, and he was fine.

I opened the shades and saw the rain slamming against the window. I blinked hard, trying to get my eyes to focus. Edward was fine. He was at the house, and he was safe with the Cullens.

I tried to lie down, but couldn't quite get myself under control. I swallowed and padded downstairs, pouring myself a glass of water. I choked it down over my sobs.

I put my weight on the counter and let my head fall into my hands, still trying to get myself under control. He would be fine. No one had him, and he was still safe.

In retrospect, I'm not really sure that my frame of mind excused it, but at the time, as soon as the thought popped into my head, I had the car keys in hand. Damned if I was going to lose another minute of what could be a very finite amount of time together.

Charlie was going to kill me.

As I yanked open the front door, I ran straight into her.

"Alice!" I squeaked, covering my mouth.

"Bella," she whispered, pulling me out the door. She didn't even give me a chance to grab my coat or umbrella as she dragged me into the freezing rain.

"Al-" I began, protesting. She closed my front door after me and locked it. Alice certainly had her ways of getting things done; I only hoped they didn't involve pneumonia. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine," she answered, pushing me along. If I wasn't awake before, I certainly was now.

There was something missing from the driveway, as I peered through the downpour.

"Where's your car?"

"Oh," she responded simply, looking beyond me. "I thought it would be a nice night for a run…"

The frigid water pelted me as I waited for Alice's explanation. She had to be kidding. Even for Alice, this was insane.

"Oh?"

"You know, spontaneous… fun…" she grasped. "And I didn't want an engine to wake Charlie."

Thunder crashed in the distance and I sighed out my frustration. It was hard to argue with a psychic.

So with that, I climbed on Alice's back (feeling completely ridiculous), closed my eyes, and hoped she could push herself fast.

**

I walked into the bedroom, drenched from head to toe, still in my pajamas. The clothes were sticking uncomfortably, but I couldn't find it in me to care just then. Edward sat on the bed, watching the rain, his long arms curled around his legs.

He turned to face me and a half smile crept onto his lips before it was quickly replaced with a look of concern.

I looked down at myself and, for as cold as I was, my face was feeling increasingly heated. "Surprise?" I aimed for nonchalance and hit a little high, but it didn't matter. Edward _was_ here. He was safe, after all.

He stood tentatively and crossed the room.

"What are you…?" he asked, trailing off. I wrapped my arms around him, looking for some warmth. For the first time since I'd met him, his body did not feel cool to the touch. I wrapped myself tighter around him, shivering outwardly, and felt his arms snake around my shoulders.

"I was worried," I said simply. The thought did cross my mind that I might sound like an overbearing non-girlfriend, and not in a good way, but I couldn't bring myself to move.

I could feel his chin resting on the top of my head. I closed my eyes and put my head against his chest, breathing him in, basking in the moment.

I don't know how long we stood there, but I felt Edward pull away. I held tight, but knew it was only a matter of seconds.

His hand reached out slowly and touched my still-shaking jaw.

"You're cold," he whispered, opening his fingers so his entire hand cupped my neck. A quizzical look overtook his features as he appraised me.

He glanced over my head, toward the bathroom door, his eyes fixed on something beyond my view.

I finally turned my head to see what he was seeing. Nothing but the bathroom.

"Should…?" he questioned, nodding his head in that direction.

I considered it briefly. I mean, I hadn't really expected him to be ready to shower with me or anything, but I _was_ cold, and _I_ certainly didn't mind showering with Edward…

Before I could think about it further my mouth decided to take over the conversation and whispered, "I think so," before grabbing his hand from my face and dragging him toward the bathroom.

He looked sort of taken aback by the gesture but followed complacently, and for a fleeting moment I wondered if he had intended for me to shower alone. That didn't make any sense to me, since I was here to see him, but what did I know?

As I let my brain take over again, I felt the blush creeping in once more. _God, I'm an idiot._

"Edward," I said, preparing myself to say the words that would release him from this situation. Would we be naked? I looked down at myself to see what the other option could be. I wasn't sure I was ready for it yet. Granted, I had seen him naked a thousand times, but the circumstances were just… different.

He reached over me and turned the water on. I watched curiously as he turned the faucet, and was momentarily distracted by his lack of attention to the temperature. I wondered if he had a preference.

"Do you like it hot or cold?" I blurted out. He craned his neck to look at me.

"Either," he said.

"But if you had to pick," I pushed. He knew so much about me. I wanted to learn about him for once. I wanted him to have a preference.

I leaned against the sink and raised an eyebrow in challenge, waiting.

"Hot," he finally decided, standing to full height once more. The rising steam was already starting to warm the room.

I nodded and moved to the shower, putting a tentative finger under the water. I immediately added cold, adjusting to something tolerable for a human being.

"Do you want to…" I began, looking at the floor. Looking at Edward's feet, his sweatpants, the bottom of his t-shirt, his chest, finally meeting his eyes again.

_Boxers_, I realized. Alice would have given him boxers.

I glanced down at myself once more. It was a rare quirk of mine, sleeping in my sports bra, but one that would come in handy this evening.

I decided to dive in and not look back. Edward's eyes widened momentarily when I started removing my clothing, but any curiosity or astonishment he felt was quickly contained in a passive face.

"If you're coming in," I said, "we're not losing everything."

I stepped into the shower in my underwear, trying to hide my overwhelming embarrassment. I mean, really, _how_ many times had I seen Edward naked? I remembered back to the very first time I cleaned him. And I had the audacity to be embarrassed in my underwear?

Edward took a very deliberate step toward the tub and tugged at the back of his shirt. Slowly, I reached my hands toward his waist and lifted the fabric, pulling it over his shoulders. I eyed him appreciatively.

He'd filled out more since I last saw him sans shirt, and it was all I could do not to ogle him. I rolled my eyes at myself as he stepped out of his sweats and into the tub.

And there we were, me and my first sort-of boyfriend, standing in the shower in our underwear.

I wish I could say it felt sexy, or at the very least comfortable, but I, Bella Swan, do not make a habit out of showering with boys, and it was definitely awkward.

That only lasted about 30 seconds though, because when he took a step toward me and we turned on the shower, I melted into him.

With my body temperature being so much lower than normal, and the heat of the water, and feel of his bare skin against mine, the awkwardness just sort of drifted away and left me feeling absolutely amazing.

I moved my hands up his torso and around his neck and pulled him to me, tangling my fingers in his hair. I felt him shiver involuntarily but comply, and he leaned down, his eyes closed. I stood on the tips of my toes and kissed him softly, nothing long or sloppy or passionate. I rested my forehead against his and the kiss broke.

We stood there, our eyes closed and our lips just centimeters apart, his arms wrapped around my shoulders and my fingers trailing up and down his back. And I truly think it was probably the best moment of my entire life.

**

Carlisle POV

I'm not sure if it was all completely real to me until I heard him tell Bella his story.

We had all heard it, everyone in the house, and those of us not in the house got the condensed version shortly afterward. There was some sort of silent understanding that it was not to be talked about, and to keep thinking about it to a minimum.

I'm not sure how the rest of my family was doing on that front, but I was failing miserably.

I shook my head and went back to the papers in front of me. The manila envelope had been sent last night directly by Tanya, a sister from a northern coven. When she caught wind of our current situation, she called immediately.

I looked at the image of the battered female vampire, the one and only picture that the sisters had from their brief encounter. It was only a sketch, but was a startling replica of our first encounter with Edward.

Her hair was clearly long and light, but was so diluted with filth that it was hardly recognizable as such. They had found her seven years ago, deep in the forest where no human dared walk.

As Tanya explained, they attempted to approach her, to calm her and assist her, but after days of wasted effort, the sisters put an end to the vampire's suffering.

The story didn't sit well with me. My immediate reaction was that someone had in fact been planting them, for one reason or another.

My more colorful theories centered on the possibility that the vampires themselves were involved.

I let those ones go quickly, ashamed that the thought crossed my mind. While it occurred to me that we might be too trusting of Edward, his intentions weren't what worried me at this point. I felt as thought Edward was about as capable of double crossing us as Alice.

Even I had to admit – what was going on with him and Bella was nothing short of incredible. Whether or not Edward was a tool in a grand game of chess, only time would tell. But of one thing I could be absolutely certain: if Edward was a pawn, he was not aware of it.

I heard the slam of a car door and glanced toward the window, all of my senses hyper aware of my surroundings. It wasn't my intention to become paranoid or even overly protective, but it didn't hurt to keep an eye on things. Edward's story had shaken each of us more than we cared to admit. Whatever was done to him could have been done to any of us, and I could feel the family growing more tentative with every day that passed.

While we could claim that we were safe until we were blue in the face, my instincts told me otherwise. There was a danger brewing, and I wasn't going to lose this war due to carelessness.

A war. Was that really what this would come to? Was it already time to contact Aro, to demand the knowledge that he so callously held back last time? Was everything I loved in danger?

The answer was plain as day, but falling into a state of panic would be detrimental to our victory. If it was humans, as Edward was leading us to believe, then we should unarguably have the upper hand. What concerned me was the unknown. There were pieces missing, and those pieces could be our undoing.

I heard the car engine turn over and kept my focus on the window as the muffled noise grew distant.

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. _Paranoid, indeed._

**

Jasper POV

I ran my hands through my hair, bouncing on my toes. Not good.

I snuck a glance at Alice, curled in on herself on our bed. This was our spot, our one place to be ourselves in spite of anything that might be going on.

"… did you go all 'round our hiding place and pat it, you called our chiefs each by his own name…"

She was rambling distantly, swaying back and forth in cadence with the prose. I closed my eyes and approached the bed.

"Alice."

"…my house is full of miscreants who keep killing great numbers of my sheep and oxen…"

"Alice!"

"…I am suppliant at your knees…"

I pulled her up and dragged her down the stairs, ignoring the stares of my disconcerted family.

We ran through the woods at a lightning pace, my need to be away from that house and our temporary prison growing stronger by the step. I knew what she was doing. She had done it before, in small doses. Filled her mind with nonsense to block her thoughts from Edward. It was a trick she had learned fairly quickly, after her first few interactions with him. It seemed to work, to an extent, although it hampered her ability to interact with us.

If she let her mind drift from her task at all, she was subject to let whatever was bothering her creep in. So she concentrated on reciting the lines, as if it was her life's goal.

How well this worked, though, no one could say. Edward was barely talking enough to convey reactions about anything he heard, vocally or otherwise, so we weren't positive if Alice's trick kept him out of her thoughts. She rarely attempted it, anyway. Full disclosure, she said. She treated him as if he was already a part of the family.

And so, it wasn't the constant repetition of the Odyssey that was had me reeling. It was the panic that was radiating from my wife.

Sheer terror emanated in waves off of my Alice, usually so cool and collected, always so in control. Not right now.

"…this man had been looking out for a whole year to make sure Agamemnon did not give him the slip and prepare war…"

I heard the water splashing against the rocks and pulled Alice through it, far from our home; our family. I needed to get her away, enough so that I knew no one would overhear.

We had never pinpointed the exact distance that she'd no longer be heard by Edward, so I kept dragging her onward, trying desperately to keep calm without calming her. Because if I calmed her, whatever she was trying to hide would make itself known. And while that was the end goal, we needed a minute to figure things out.

It was a given that Alice would want to talk through what she saw before making any decisions on action. It was never her intention to hide the future from our family, but her visions were so bizarre sometimes. I could only imagine what she had seen.

Fifty miles of running non-stop until I finally pulled her to a stop.

"Alice!"

"Jasper," her eyes refocused and she looked around herself. A smile crept upon her lips in spite of herself. "Went a little overboard."

I nodded, grateful for the change in her disposition.

"Alice –" I urged, pacing back and forth. It would appear I was in worse shape than she was. So strong.

"Jasper, I… I don't think it's good." Her voice was rushed, the panic back in her eyes. "No, I know it's not good. It's bad, it's bad, it's really, really bad, Jasper." Whispered pleas came from her lips and I closed the distance between us, forcing my mind into a calmer state.

"Whatever it is, we'll figure it out."

"I don't know what happened," she leaned into me and I could feel her frame shaking. I could feel my frame shaking. Whatever she saw, it _was_ really, really bad. And I had a feeling it was only going to get worse.

"Tell me."

"It's like… It's like nothing changed. He didn't _do_ anything. But everything changed. _EVERYTHING CHANGED, JASPER._"

I laced my fingers into her hair closed my eyes, letting her scent calm my senses. Letting my senses calm hers.

"What did you see?"

"They're coming." She was far away, I could tell. She was looking, and looking and looking.

"When?"

"I'm not sure. There's snow on the ground. Lights on the trees. Snow on the ground…"

"Alice!" I shook her, hard. I couldn't handle it.

She looked at me, all guilty and self deprecating.

"Shit," she whispered. I could count on one finger the number of times I'd heard Alice say _shit_. "SHIT." _Two._

"Jasper, they're coming!"

Panic started to creep in again, and I willed it down. I swallowed hard and pushed it outward. "We'll fix this," I said.

I could see her head shaking, her eyes wide. She was living in her head, as she was prone to do, and the picture was ugly. I knew the signs.

"We'll protect him," I urged, but it was no use. Whatever her vision was telling her, she wasn't buying it.

"Nothing we are doing so far is changing _anything_, Jazz. We _can't_ protect him!"

"We'll figure it out, Al. We have to."

She nodded, willing herself to relax. Finally allowing me to help.

After several minutes of tense silence, I took a gamble.

"What did you see?"

Alice entwined her fingers in mine and sat down on the rocky protrusion. "He's in a room."

"A room?" I pressed. I'd have to pry the information from her, but once I got her talking, she'd let it all out. She let my calm wash over her and took a deep breath.

"It's… bright. He's scared, but he's okay. For now. They're watching him. He knows they're watching him, but it doesn't look like they're making any move to touch him. Not yet."

"Then what, Alice?"

She shook her head, backing away from me. I grabbed her hands. "Alice, the more we know –"

"I can't," she cried. "I can't look, Jasper. I don't want to know. I don't want to know what they're going to do to him!"

I closed my eyes and breathed. Moments like these, I was grateful I didn't have Alice's ability. Being an empath certainly had its cons, but knowing the future and not knowing how to change it… I understood her hesitation.

She closed her eyes, watching. "It's so far out," she whispered. "I can't see how it ends. There's still so much to be decided."

"Then what do we do?" I asked, her frustration feeding mine.

"Then we go back," she responded immediately. "Carlisle will know what to do."

**

**Stop here, ye who hate a/ns:** I feel like I don't have words for my fail or for your support. Both of them amaze me. But, as it is the 1 year anniversary of VITB, I figured I definitely had to get an update out there. And alas, success! Huzzah!

To the people who read and review and favorite and rec and don't hate on me and alert and click, or any combination of the aforementioned, you rock.

(P.S. the vamp in the basement is nominated for a bellie thecatt (dot) net... The fact that my mentioning this is tacky is not lost on me. I got it. Thanks :)


	24. The Hunt 2

**CHAPTER 24**

**Bella POV**

I rubbed the towel vigorously through my hair, peeking beyond the curtain of waves, through the small crack of the slightly ajar door, as Edward stepped out of his drenched boxers and into dry ones. His toes stretched and I recognized the sound of the bed squeaking as it took his weight. Pulling the borrowed nightshirt over my head, I flipped off the bathroom light and plopped onto the mattress next to my vampire.

His smile had a new coyness to it, like we were the only two people in on a huge secret, and maybe we were. I wasn't the type of girl to sneak out of my house in the middle of the night, ride on my best friend's back through freezing rain at speeds faster than a small plane, and hop into the shower with my boyfriend. Boyfriend? I rolled my eyes at myself as I returned his smile and got to my knees, pushing gently on his chest.

His breath escaped him as he fell backward into the bed, his eyes scanning, always watchful, before returning back to mine. I knelt over him and kissed him once, then twice more, before letting my weight fall onto him. With his arms wrapped so tightly around me, it would have been impossible to miss the way his chest instantly tightened, the muscles in his biceps contracting in an uncomfortable way, the low rumble emanating from his chest.

I pulled up and he let me.

"What is it?" I asked him, his change in demeanor instantly alerting me to a looming danger. How looming or how dangerous, time would decide. Could be that Edward was panicking (as he was often prone to do), but it seemed different. He seemed genuinely scared, but he also seemed almost… pensive?

He stood, keeping my hand locked firmly in his, and guided me to the door. Before he even reached for the knob, though, it swung open.

The pixie standing before me was a sight to behold. Her hair was windblown and tousled, her makeup AWOL, her clothes drenched. On their own, these would not ordinarily be a cause for panic. It happened, even to the prom queen. Her shoes, though, caked in mud and dripping sloppily on the pristine floor… something was definitely amiss.

"Al?" I asked, but she didn't even spare me a glance. Her eyes were locked with Edward's in one of their increasingly annoying silent conversations, and neither I nor Jasper could pull them from the exchange.

And then it hit me — why I was so calm when there was probably catastrophic news about to be laid out.

"Knock it off," I growled, casting him a pointed look.

He just shrugged and inclined his head toward Alice, silently telling me that he didn't exactly have a choice in the matter.

I took a deep breath and tried to find my rage and my fear and my frustration, but was met only with a serene calmness.

"It's okay," Alice told me then, finally meeting my eyes. She swallowed and I was acutely aware that it was definitely _not_ okay.

I felt his hand tighten around mine and all I could say was, "Okay…" I forced myself to exhale and my focus shifted to Edward. "What's going on?" I whispered imploringly.

His mouth formed a tight line and his breathing steadied, and with a small shrug he said, "We should… we should —"

"Find Carlisle," Alice finished, nodding at Edward. "You're right. I wanted to find you first… to explain…"

Her eyes darted from Edward's to mine and back to Edward's. _Explain what?_ I wanted to scream, but my voice was lost in the rising panic. I wanted to shake her. And Jasper. And Edward. Eventually they'd have to let me in on whatever was going on, so why wait?

"Let's go," Jasper said, and then to Edward, "We'll meet you downstairs."

"No," I said, pulling back as Alice took my hand. She looked at me, all confused and concerned.

"Bella…" Her voice came out just slightly above a whisper, and she cocked her head to one side like I was a child.

"Just tell me now. You can't…" And then I started feeling the full effects of the panic, and the rage, and the pent up emotions that had been hindered moments before. Jasper was good, but if feelings were running strong enough, even he couldn't keep them all at bay. I felt the beginnings of angry tears pricking at my eyes. "You can't just keep doing this!" I said, my voice higher than it should have been. The truth of the matter was that I loved Edward, and I felt this deep seeded need to protect him. As much as my feeble human body would allow, at least. And I couldn't do that if no one would give me things straight, and I hated it. And since there was nothing I could do about it, apparently I chose that moment to throw a fit.

Alice took a step back and shook her head. She wasn't upset — in hindsight, she must have seen it coming. "Bella —"

"No, guys." I looked pointedly at all three of my vampire companions. "Tell me. Tell me what's going on!"

Alice opened her mouth to answer but it was Edward's timid voice I heard next. "She had a vision," he said, wrapping his arms around me. I felt his chest expand against my back.

"No fucking shit." I closed my eyes, immediately regretting my response. Which is why it came as such a shock Edward's chuckle reached my ears.

I knew it was Jasper again, the muscles in his face rigid with the effort he was expelling to keep the mood light.

"Sorry," I said, and wriggled out of Edward's grip, immediately deflated. "You're right. We should get Carlisle."

"I'm here." Carlisle stood in the doorway to his office, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked first to Alice, then Jasper. "We have no right to keep things from her. You don't need to apologize."

I felt my cheeks burning with the embarrassment of being caught in my tantrum but let it go. "We'll meet you guys downstairs," I mumbled, turning to face Edward. All traces of amusement were gone, and I wrapped my arms around him in a quick, apologetic hug.

And then I took his hand once more and we silently made our way down the stairs. I noticed immediately that Jasper and Alice weren't following, as the further we retreated, the more the budding panic grew in my chest, and the tighter Edward's fingers wrapped around mine.

That chilly October night was one I'd likely never forget.

When the entire family was accounted for, Alice explained to us what she'd seen with Jasper. She told us that they were coming, and as of that moment, that they would succeed.

Edward kept a surprising amount of composure, as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He held my hand the entire time she recollected the vision, and I knew that he was watching it through her eyes. How hard that was on him, I couldn't say. But my imagination didn't paint pretty thoughts.

"So… what does it mean?" I cleared my throat a little, forcing myself to be brave and strong because I couldn't go to pieces now. Edward would be captured. Future Edward is in a cell, and Future Edward is in very real trouble.

I felt my breath coming quicker and swallowed back tears.

"It means… I don't know. It means that, as of now, they're going to find him…"

"When?" It was the first word Carlisle had spoken since he'd defended me in the hallway, and it was just as good as any other question.

Alice shook her head. "There's snow on the ground. You're still here for the holidays" — she glanced at Edward — "so somewhere between January and March? Maybe?"

"Alice…" Carlisle said, his voice pleading. "I… I need you to try to get more specific."

"It's…" Her eyes got that distant, glossy look they sometimes got, when she was scanning the future. "It's after Em's birthday. It's gotta be March." She seemed decisive enough, which was comforting. March. _March. _

"We have some time, then," Esme chimed in, all fake positivity radiating off of her. "Plenty of time…"

We all knew that wasn't the case. Alice's visions were too unreliable. They were fueled by decisions, which by human nature, had this annoying tendency to be unstable.

"But in the… in your vision — in the room — he's… he's safe, right?" I swallowed hard and felt Edward squeeze my hand, but I couldn't look at him. I wouldn't be able to handle him acting strong… for me. When I should be strong for him. I held my breath, willing my fear to ebb. Months away. We'd be fine. Plenty of time.

"From what I saw, he's okay." She was addressing me now, placating me because Edward could read minds, and Edward already knew the truth of the matter. And Edward was stronger than me in every way. Screw that. I could do better than falling to pieces at the first sign of trouble. I would do better. For him, I would find a way.

I needed to go about this differently, I realized. I needed whatever information I could get. We needed it. We just weren't asking the right questions.

"What triggered it?" I asked warily.

"I don't know. It's like… we were sitting in the bedroom, and one minute it was fine, and the next minute…"

"When?"

Alice's eyebrows knit together. "This evening."

"But when? What time?"

"I don't really know, Bella… like an hour ago?"

Carlisle paced the room silently, his hands pulling at his hair in a gesture of sheer nerves that I'd never really seen out of him.

"Is there anything else, Alice? Anything else at all? An emblem on the building? Somewhere in the room? Anything about the surroundings? What did the men look like? What were they wearing?"

"Carlisle, I —"

She was looking again, whether she wanted to or not. I could tell in the way that Edward's eyes snapped up to meet hers across the room, and in the way that Jasper shifted to a more protective stance… and in the way that my vampire's breath came in ragged spouts. She was definitely revisiting that cell, and whatever she was seeing… it wasn't something Edward was enjoying.

Her eyes refocused and she looked toward us remorsefully.

"The future… It keeps changing." Edward's whisper was matter-of-face, his breath tickling my neck as his arms circled me. Tension was oozing off of him in volumes, but still his composure remained in tact.

Having heard Edward's words as clearly as if they'd been spoken at full volume, Carlisle's movements halted and his attention shifted to us.

"Edward." His voice was strong and assertive, back in full leader mode.

Simultaneously, Edward and I turned our heads to follow the voice. He eyed Carlisle cautiously, awaiting whatever instruction might come next. The mere fact that Edward seemed to be looking to Carlisle as a trusted leader was at least sort of hopeful; a little bit of progress in a world full of dark. I squeezed his hand as Carlisle approached.

He moved to his knees in front of us, in what I could only guess was a gesture of good faith. Also it made him eye level with Edward, but I didn't like that explanation as much.

"It's more important now than ever," he explained, "that you eat."

My vampire inhaled sharply and averted his gaze, but Carlisle continued. "We need you strong, because whatever's coming, it's coming for_ you_ —"

"He's trying!" My voice came out irrationally defensive, but it was clear that Edward wasn't going to stick up for _himself. _Someone needed to.

"I know, Bella." Exasperated, Carlisle slumped. He kept his gaze fixed on Edward. "I just — I just think we need to try. We need to keep trying. I don't know. We need to do something," His voice was so low I could barely hear it. "And that's all we really _can_ do right now."

For as strong and stoic as he usually was, hearing Carlisle with that hint of despondence in his voice was disheartening to say the least. I felt my heart speeding in my chest, ready to ride in on my white horse and defend my vampire's virtue when Edward spoke.

"He's right." His voice was low and steady, his eyes locked with mine. As he continued, he returned his gaze to Carlisle. "I'll… I'll try harder."

"That's not what I mean…" Carlisle stood, wiping his hands on his thighs.

"I… I know. I just…" His eyebrows knit together and his eyes closed for several seconds. My focus immediately went to Alice, as it almost always did when funny business was going down at the mansion. Sure enough, she was lost in another vision, but now she was dragging Edward in with her.

Jasper looked equally uncomfortable, probably having to concentrate doubly just to keep the two of them from overtaking him with grief. It was written all over both of their faces.

"I'll try harder," Edward finally blurted out and stood, staggering. He stumbled toward the side door, using the wall for guidance and support, as I jumped to my feet and followed him. He was out the door before I caught up.

Edward was leaning against the siding, arms wrapped protectively around his torso, a distant shiver running through his body.

I stood silently next to him, unsure of how to handle myself. I was in unfamiliar territory and sort of felt in over my head. I opted for holding his hand to let him know I was there, in case he somehow missed it.

With a sharp exhale he looked at me, shaking his head slowly as if to clear it of the images that were probably long since burned into his brain.

"I need to —" his voice was weak and shaky "— can we go?"

I nodded in reply and too his hand, taking a step toward the familiar woods. "Let's go."

Instead of walking with me, though, he scooped me up in a move so uncharacteristic of him that I realized how bad it was, and darted for the tree line. It was all I could do to hold on for my life.

Running with Edward was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.

The only other vampire I'd ever run with was Alice, and this was definitely not like that. Edward's arms wrapped around me as we flew through the woods was the most liberating feeling in the world, and if I hadn't known that I belonged with him before that moment, I certainly did after.

I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on the movements of his chest, on the way his muscles rippled as his grip around my body adjusted. On the way the earth moved by us, and not the other way around.

_We could just keep running. _We'd be safe at least. We could find a remote island, somewhere off the coast of nowhere, and Edward could turn me and he would never be in danger and we'd have each other. And for a second, I believed that it was all we could ever need.

I let the weight of my head fall back into the air and relished in the feel of the wind whipping my hair wildly behind me. I don't know how long we ran, but by the time we stopped, all trains of thought had been abandoned for the feelings of nothingness that accompanied running with my favorite vampire in the world.

"Feel better?" I grinned at him, still exhilarated by the run and by the feel of his arms holding me to his body.

He released me and I immediately missed the closeness. And of course, he didn't disappoint. Moving to stand behind me, he wrapped himself around my body and rested his head on top of mine, inhaling deeply.

"A little." I felt his smile and turned, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Good."

I wound my fingers into his hair and kissed him, willing the events of the night away.

We pulled apart and started walking silently, aimlessly, holding hands and nothing else.

When we finally found a rock big enough to hold both of us and dry enough that our clothes would be safe, we sat. I leaned against Edward and he tucked my head under his chin. And we sat like that, probably for longer than necessary, while I gathered my wits.

Because, although he had run to escape the night's events, I knew now that we couldn't run from them. We couldn't leave the family to clean up a mess that they should have no part of.

"What did you see?" My voice was inaudible to the human ear and, had Edward not immediately tensed, I'd have wondered if he heard it at all.

"Ahh," he sighed, his grip involuntarily tightening against my shoulders. "They're very… strange."

I wasn't sure if he meant the visions or the Cullens, but either way I wholeheartedly agreed. I nodded.

"I don't really understand them. It's like… they change."

"They do."

"And… it… it seemed like every time — it seemed like they were getting closer."

"Alice's visions are subjective. The future… it always changes," I told him, putting it as best I could. Alice's visions made little sense to anyone but Alice. Mostly, though, if I was being honest, I was trying to console myself. The fact that it was getting closer… I didn't like it.

"It seems like they're getting worse," he said solemnly with a shrug.

"Then I guess it's a good thing that we're going to change it."

"Right." His voice was so hopeless that I felt the panic creeping in, so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Change me."

Edward pulled away a little and I turned to gauge his reaction, his face a mixture of confusion and doubt.

"I… don't think I can?"

"You can. Do it." I could see him planning his rebuttal so I continued, cutting it off. "Look, just hear me out, Okay?"

He nodded.

"I'm no good to you human. To you, or to any of the Cullens. If you change me, I'll be a million times stronger — faster — and probably smarter, too. Right now I'm a handicap, Edward. Anything can happen, I'm the wildcard that's gonna blow the cap off this whole thing. I'm the weak point. Change me, and we'll be untouchable."

I thought my impromptu speech was pretty infallible in the logic department, but just as I was gearing up to give myself a big ole pat on the back, Edward shook his head.

"Not now," he whispered softly, pulling me back to him. "Not like this. Besides, I don't think I could."

I guess I had to allow him that.

A sort of calm washed over us and we sat, wrapped around each other in the freezing Washington weather, until the first hints of the sun shone over the tree line. Charlie would be waking up soon. I could only hope that he wouldn't knock on my door to check in before he left for work.

A movement caught my attention in my peripheries and I slowly turned my head to get a full view.

Probably fifty feet away I saw a deer, her head bowed low as she gnawed on the dewy grass. I smiled in spite of myself, watching her ears twitch at every sound the forest made.

Edwards gaze followed mine until we both sat on that rock, silent observers of the doe's meal.

"I've never seen it happen," I told him softly, as not to scare off the animal. I knew he could hear me, despite his lack of response. "The hunt." I pointed toward her. "But Alice told me about it once. She said usually they don't even see it coming.

"They're super sneaky-like, and as soon as they bite the venom starts working. She said they bite in the neck and then drain it quickly, so it doesn't hurt too bad."

"That's sort of disgusting," Edward responded pensively, and I laughed. Because it was, really. And to Edward, who had never experienced actually _being_ a vampire, it was probably completely barbaric.

"I sort of love you." I ran my fingertips up his arm and he sighed. To cover my blunder, I quickly diverted. "Carlisle said it's like conditioning, that's why you can't eat…"

I sat up and Edward straightened, and I turned and crossed my legs underneath me so we faced each other. "Like the whole Pavlov thing…"

He nodded. He knew what I was saying, but I was going to say it anyway. It was the best way to sort out my thoughts.

"So, like, if every time they made you drink you… yeah. Then your body eventually just stopped accepting blood?"

"That's the running theory."

"But they only fed you human blood, right?"

"I don't… I don't really know."

Understandable. He was so far gone when we found him. He wouldn't remember a lot of what happened to him.

"But probably."

"Probably," he allowed, curious to where I was going.

"Do you think animal blood is any different?"

"Carlisle has been — it's been animal blood."

"Does it smell different?"

Edward shrugged. "Not really."

"So… just… blood is blood is blood is blood." That made perfect sense, and Edward's chuckle confirmed my logic.

"That's one way of putting it."

"So what do you think is going wrong?" I heaved out a sigh and wrung my hands in my lap. "I mean, Carlisle said you needed to start eating… and if there's nothing physically keeping you from eating, there has to be a way. There has to be something we can do to like… reverse it, right?"

"Maybe," Edward reasoned.

**CARLISLE POV**

I stared at the phone, dreading doing what I knew needed to be done.

I couldn't blame him. Either of them, really. I'd have done the same, if the circumstances were reversed.

After Edward and Bella had left, Alice explained a little more about what she'd been seeing.

She told us that the vision were changing in rapid secession, as if decisions were being made and changed and remade at the drop of a pin. _Or as if someone knew how to evade her_, I secretly feared.

And then she went on to explain that in two of the five total visions she'd witnessed that evening, Edward was dead. And that he'd been present during them both, and that things really couldn't get any worse.

And I agreed, until she revealed that no longer did we have until February, as originally predicted. Alice had seen the ribbons on the trees that evening, a sign as sure as any that this would be over before we knew it.

Every Christmas, Esme puts huge red ribbons around each of the trees that line our driveway, and by every New Year's Eve, those ribbons are removed.

So, what was once an event that would be months away was now knocking on our door, and we needed to deal with it. Now.

I picked up the phone and held my eyes shut, dialing the familiar number.

**BELLA POV**

"Edward," I hissed through my teeth. His back was to me and he was doing a fine job of pretending that he couldn't, but I knew he could hear me. I half-considered making a scene to scare the animal away. "I really don't think this is your best idea."

He turned around then, cocking an inquisitive eyebrow. I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed back whatever emotions were coursing through him. "You just said —"

"Yeah," I allowed, "I said you needed to eat. But I don't think this is the way! You should bring someone who knows what they're doing." I paused then, letting curiosity get the better of me. "What makes you think this will work anyway?"

He shrugged and took a step closer to me; there were a few feet of distance between us. "I don't know if — if there are any other options."

As I stepped into his arms, I felt the familiar tremble running through him, and realized he wasn't excited about the prospect either. But he was being strong, as always, and I was being a wimp. True to form.

I thought about it from his perspective. And from using whatever limited knowledge I had. And I had to grant him that if it was going to work, this might be as good a bet as any. "When the Cullens hunt, they won't let me come."

He started, but I needed to finish. "It's because instinct sort of takes over, Alice told me. And even though they're still way in control, they worry that they'll hurt me."

Edward nodded, his eyes showing what might be considered a little bit of hope to the astute onlookers.

"So maybe," I continued, "you're right. Maybe if your instinct kicks in it'll help?"

A small smile played on Edward's lips.

"I'm grasping at straws." I sat down on the rock and wrapped my legs under me, holding my arms around my body for the lost warmth. "Just don't eat me, okay?"

Ignoring me, Edward said, "You're freezing."

"I'm fine."

Edward nodded. "We'll leave soon. Go back…" He didn't sound excited at the prospect, and neither was I, and once again I considered pitching the run-away-and-never-look-back idea.

"I think you should do it." His eyes widened in shock and a chuckle escaped him.

"Really?" His voice reeked doubt.

"If you're in, I'm in."

He nodded and turned back toward the deer, still so unaware of where her fate lay. I closed my eyes and breathed in the smell of the forest. This probably wasn't the smartest thing. What if Edward wasn't able to eat and shut down?

Or, what if he _was_ able to eat and, like Alice had warned, went mad with bloodlust and ate me? He probably never would go back after he ate me, and I'd be just another bloodless corpse in the woods in the middle of nowhere. And the Cullens would never know what became of me.

It was a risk I was willing to take, when push came to shove. Because it was the only instruction we were given to make matters better, so we'd figure it out. And if Edward was a willing participant, it'd be a cold day in Hell when I held him back.

And, I reasoned with myself, maybe just being in a different environment would help. Maybe Edward needed this.

"Maybe you should snap her neck first," I said quietly, opening my eyes to see Edward slowly creeping toward his first prey. He was silent as only the best predator could be, stalking invisibly through the brush.

Like always, Edward could definitely hear me, but this time he was ignoring me for other, better reasons. This time, he was concentrating.

He was close now, and I watched cautiously as the deer's ears twitched, her senses all kicking in that there was danger. Any second now she'd run, and while Edward would definitely catch her, it would make it more challenging.

"Now," I said, and immediately, he lunged. She didn't even see him coming, just as Alice had promised.

I thought maybe I should continue instructing him, but then… he seemed to have it under control. I heard the deer's noise as she collapsed and I hope he did it quickly. I bit my lip, sick curiosity driving me forward.

"Her neck," I whispered, thinking that maybe he should have listened to me when I told him to kill her first. It might not have been as tasty, but it probably would have made more logical sense.

And then he twisted her head in a jerking motion and she was dead. On his knees with the dead animal before him, he looked back to me with a mixture of confusion and amusement on his face. _What now?_ his eyes said.

"Umm, bite? I don't really know." As an afterthought I added, "This is sort of awful."

And he smiled and then knelt over his kill, examining its limp form. He inhaled deeply, letting her scent penetrate his senses and then his eyes closed and his lips drew back a little and he hesitated. I don't think he was impressed with what he was about to do, either, but beggars can't be choosers, I wanted to tell him.

Before I could, his teeth sliced through her hide and, right as I was about to do a cheer, he drew back, and covered his mouth. He turned away from his kill for a second and gagged, but to his credit, immediately went back to his task. It seemed, from a distance, that he was really drinking, but I couldn't tell, because every few seconds he had to pull away.

He kept going back, though, and drinking small amounts at a time, and it was perversely beautiful. I watched, all traces of disgust gone from me, as he would drink, then turn away and catch himself on his hands, gag, and then go back to it. By the fourth of fifth time, he didn't pull away any more.

He leaned over the deer with purpose now, drinking her until there was nothing left. When he met my eyes again, the picture in front of me made me wonder once more if it was my turn. Because my vampire was, quite literally, _soaked_ in blood. And, in that light, he pretty much looked like he was going to eat me.

I was still proud of him, and I think my uncontrollable smile told him so.

His eyebrows pulled together in reluctant amusement and a sound came from his throat which was sort of a laugh and sort of something darker, but overall, I decided it was adorable, and all traces of fear and hesitation left my body. I started making my way over to him as he looked finally looked at himself.

He examined his hands, covered in blood, his clothes, drenched, and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. He didn't seem shocked to realize that it came away red. He groaned but smiled, and he looked stronger than I'd ever seen him before. Sort of like he could take on the world, and I thought he probably could if he wanted to. And for the first time since I'd met him, I wasn't too scared of what the future would bring, because even though I was certainly a weakness, he'd never let them do to him what had been done before. They wouldn't be able to twice. No matter what happened to me.

As I reached him, he held up his hands, sort of a please-don't-touch-me-I'm-gross gesture. I took his hand anyway. No matter what, he'd have to carry me home, so we both needed to get over it.

"How was it?" I asked, beaming at my vampire.

He looked down at himself and answered in what could only be described as happily, "Disgusting."

**A/N**: Bam.


	25. The Call

**A/N: **Thanks to jilburfm for still being my beta.

**Carlisle POV**

"There have been some developments. With Edward." The man on the other end was slow to respond, as if awaiting clarification that I knew was completely unnecessary. "The vampire — the mind reader."

"I see," Aro said, his voice casually disinterested. I've always found that to be the most difficult part of dealing with him, and this particular conversation was no exception. Because he truly did not, nor would he ever, care what happened to Edward, to my family, or to me.

It was a necessary evil, though, and one that I hoped would inevitably work in our favor. Regardless of whether or not it did, if I'd let this continue without contacting the royal family, we would certainly face reprimand.

It wasn't so much that I questioned the intentions of the Volturi — in fact, it was exactly the opposite. Their intentions, albeit not obvious to any outsider, were always clear to me. First and foremost, their desire was to protect their city. Then their clan. Then the race of our kind. And somewhere, way down the list, came my family.

"I haven't the time for vagueness, Carlisle. Marcus has challenged Jane to a baby-eating contest, and I simply _must_ see the outcome."

I closed my eyes and inhaled too sharply, the familiar chuckle on the other end boiling my long cold blood. He was joking, of course, in his way. The casual manner in which Aro threw around the feeding habits of my kind never failed to stop me in my tracks, and although no baby-eating contest would take place on that day, it wasn't something so unrealistic. I waited, albeit impatiently, for his laughter to cease.

"Joking, of course. The eating of human babies is positively barbaric, is it not?" He cleared his throat when his question went unanswered. "The sentiment, however, remains. Make your words count; I haven't got all day."

"Alice has had a vision."

"Ahh. The elusive visions. And I take it the outcome is not your idea of ideal?"

I explained what she'd seen to the ancient vampire, implicitly detailing what we did and did not know. About the drug that Alice suspected was at the center of everything; about the room that Edward was destined to find himself in.

"Yes, that is a problem indeed," Aro said, contemplative. After several painstaking seconds, I recognized his deep sigh. "Did you know," he started, drawing out his words with infuriating precision, "That Edward Masen was the grandson of a Doctor? And, from what I can tell, when Dr. Masen's wife was killed in 1911, cause of death reading 'unknown', he abruptly quit his job at the lab in which he was employed?"

Typically, I'd consider a comment of this nature to be irrelevant, but rarely did Aro say anything without intention. I wasn't given an opportunity to respond, though. "A scientist! And _his _name was Edward Masen, also? I found it all oddly fascinating. And," he added conspiratorially, "despite all of my resources, I've been unable to locate a second place of employment for the late Dr. Masen. I do, however, suspect foul play, and will continue to investigate."

"Aro —"

"And also, Carlisle, did you know that another vampire, in a similar situation, was once discovered in Alaska some years ago? Not that this has anything to do with our current situation, necessarily, but it _is_ quite interesting, is it not?"

"Of course."

"I am an old man, Carlisle, who recognizes a problem when presented with one. This is a problem."

"Do you have a solution in mind?" My patience was already obsolete, and I did my best to keep that fact from my voice.

The chuckle on the other end told me I had failed. "Modern technology is marvelous, old friend. What I'm suggesting is making the best of a bad situation."

I prepared myself for a resolution that was certain to be unacceptable.

"I'd recommend implanting your Edward with a tracking device. When captured, we will be led directly to the heart of their operation, and will be able to eliminate any threat to our race. The important thing is that we think of the greater good, Carlisle. I'm sure Edward would be more than obliged to sacrifice himself for our kind."

I weighed the suggestion carefully. It had its merits, certainly, but, as I told Aro, "That's a very dangerous suggestion. I'd prefer to avoid his capture all together; I'm not sure what effects it would have on him."

"Is his power really so useful?"

In dealing with the Volturi, the most important thing is, and always has been, to keep a level head. And though I was on the verge of losing mine, prematurely terminating the conversation would leave me back at square one.

"You know that's not the case."

"I will make this offer once more, then. If Edward joins us, he, and all of your clan, will be afforded every protection we have to offer. Without that promise, though, I'm afraid I can only go so far."

"No."

"Oh well. I suppose I'd already imagined that might be your response. Christmastime, you said?"

I found comfort in pouring over details, so I was grateful for the change in the course of our conversation. "Alice has seen the ribbons on the trees — the ones that Esme puts up every year. Christmastime is the current theory."

"Well then! At least we have some time on our side. I'll continue investigating this, you have my word. Keep safe, Carlisle —"

"Wait."

"Yes?"

"When you touched Edward, during your visit… Did you see anything else of use?"

"Ahh." Aro drew out a breath as if recalling a very dark memory. "What I found, Carlisle, was a lot of pain, inflicted by some very sick humans."

I could picture him as he paused, running his withered hand through his midnight black hair, lost in the memory of the evilest secrets he had witnessed.

"It's amazing that we're considered the monsters in this world, is it not?"

I thought back to the joke about the baby-eating contest, and what possible motives our adversaries might have had. Perhaps they were justified in their hatred of our kind. Perhaps, in another life, I would be one of them.

"Do you know of their motive, Aro?"

"Motive is an interesting thing. Kind of like snowflakes."

I exhaled, perhaps too loudly, at the senility of my companion.

"Vampires, Carlisle, could be the greatest weapon humankind has ever known. Speculation, of course. Quite obviously humans have never had the opportunity to use our kind for any reason. But imagine: if only humans could control the beasts they have created, would they not rule the world?"

"So it's power?"

"Power is a strong force. It's always power, Carlisle. I'd have thought you knew that. For a human being to control one vampire, just a single one, his power would become limitless. Regardless of individual motives of the pawns, I guarantee you that someone, somewhere, is waiting for a very large payout. We cannot afford for that to happen.

"And, I suppose this goes without saying, but for one to control a vampire, one must first subdue a vampire. Our kind doesn't adjust well to taking orders, would you agree?"

He didn't wait for my response. I was busy tossing what he'd been saying around in my mind.

"Not at all. What I've gathered, though, is that this _inhibitor_, which you deactivated in your vampire, is to serve as that measure. Imagine a drug that would prevent vampires from feeding. On a small scale you have, what, one, two vampires who are growling naked in a basement?"

"But on a large scale…" Unwelcome images quickly flashed through my mind.

"So you see? Power is everything, and I'd bet Caius' life that these humans are not so different from the rest of us 'monsters.'"

"Do you have reason to suspect this?"

"If you're asking for proof, Carlisle, you've called the wrong person. But know this: we're monitoring the situation closely. We're doing what we can, and if anything new is uncovered, we will alert you. I'd expect the same courtesy on your end."

"Yes, Aro. I appreciate your time."

"Until next time, old friend."

And the phone clicked. I fell back into my chair, rubbing my eyes with my hands. As far as conversations with Aro go, that was probably my most productive, but how he came to his information, and whether or not it was accurate, I couldn't yet determine. I wasn't sure who to trust anymore, but when it came to the Volturi, I knew that their information was almost always reliable. Almost.

As I digested what had been told to me, I heard an ominous crunching in the distance. I honed my senses, waiting for more noises. My muscles poised for action, I stood, walking to the large window of the office. I took a deep breath, scanning the area, before hearing the crunch once more. This time, it was coupled with the baying of some wild dog, and my body immediately relaxed.

And suddenly, I realized that regardless of what happened, the only thing I could count on for certain was that my sanity would be severely lessened over the coming months.

If that was all I lost, I would be okay with it.

**Bella POV**

I decided, on the way back to the mansion, that blood-soaked Edward was the sexiest Edward I'd seen yet. I'm not sure if the appeal was in the blood itself, or what the blood _meant_, but I wanted him desperately as he carried me back.

I think he drew out the trip, taking longer routes and running at an easy pace. Twice I had the thought that he might not actually know where we were going, but I decided against voicing my concerns. If we ended up somewhere just south of no man's land, did I really care?

_Charlie will care_, that stupid responsible part of my brain chided, but I squeezed my arms around Edward's shoulders and felt the ripple of his muscles and that voice quickly dissipated.

He was so much stronger. The way moved, the way he breathed, the way his watchful eyes scanned everything around us. It all came naturally now, like he had found himself in that doe, or at least a part of him that had been lost for decades.

After what could have been hours of running, we reached a clearing in the woods. Edward stopped and I untangled myself from his torso, opting for his hand instead. I had a sinking suspicion that we were getting close. A very real part of me wanted to drag my feet, to put off the inevitable for just a little bit longer, and judging Edward's face, he was fighting the same battle.

"Does it suck?" I asked him, kicking loose leaves out of my path.

"Does what _suck_?" The emphasis he put on the word suck was teasing, and I felt like I had it coming. He'd not been around anyone but me and the Cullens in years, and I'm not sure that common vernacular is part of their every day thought processes. I let it go without more than an internal eye roll.

"Being around the Cullens? Being able to read minds? Seeing everything that goes through peoples heads, even if you don't want to?"

We walked a little bit further as he considered my question and so I decided to take the opportunity to amend it. "Seeing yourself in the future, I guess."

I heard him expel a heavy breath as he ran a hand through his hair, pensive. "Yeah," he finally responded. "Yeah, that sort of sucks."

"Do you ever get used to it?"

"I haven't yet." He stopped abruptly and turned to look at me. I was forced to halt too, curious. "Bella." He lifted his chilly hands to brush the hair out of my face. It fell right back to where it was, so I blew on it, hoping to help his cause. He gave a half hearted smile and moved it behind my ear. I can't say I hated the sensation. "Before — when I was human - I wasn't able to. Not until I'd been turned, and even then, I didn't really realize what was happening. For the longest time, I just thought I'd gone crazy." He broke eye contact with me and started walking again. I followed suit.

"Sometimes I still think I've gone crazy. Like it's all some sort of ridiculous nightmare that I can't get out of."

I'll be the first to admit it — it stung a little. I tried to keep it from showing on my face, and I understood his plight, but dammit, sometimes teenage girls are stupid emotional.

"I understand," I whispered.

"I don't think you do. You just…" His head tilted back and he looked up at the sky, his face relaxed and his eyes closing. He sighed a heavy sigh. "You make it better. For me."

Edward looked at me then and I waited for the other shoe to drop, but it never really did. "Going back to that house, though, it's like willingly walking back into the nightmare that I can't escape."

Regardless of whether or not he thought so, I did understand. And when this was all over, maybe my vampire and I would find a nice isolated house on a nice isolated island and take very infrequent trips back to the real world. And it'd be enough for me; I really believed that it would.

Too soon, we were staring down the big mansion, and Edward's hand was tightening around my own.

"Can you hear them already?"

He nodded, his face pinched with uncertainty.

I, on the other hand, was frozen to my bones and, as much as I wanted to give Edward the time he needed to deal with his demons, would it be so bad of me if I met him inside by the stove?

I opted for encouraging rather than ditching.

"I know it sucks," I said with a smile, turning my body into his. His arms encircled me and I felt his hands move up and down my biceps, the friction warming. I turned my face into his clavicle and closed my eyes. For the record: I had not forgotten that he was drenched in blood, I just didn't quite care in the moment.

"Yeah," he responded, his voice gruff and hesitant.

"But if you can already hear them, maybe we should just…" At the risk of sounding insensitive, I really needed to get inside. Dawn was breaking and, for the moment, my heart was still beating. If I stayed out too much longer my status might abruptly change.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me there for a second, and when he released me, I realized just how warm his body had actually made me. He headed toward the side door, and I followed suit.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that everyone was waiting for us at the entrance, but the sight of six panicked vampires in a state-of-the-art-but-seldom-used kitchen is never an expected scene.

"Hey, guys." I nodded my head, suddenly hyper aware that, in vampire-land, I was a slice of chocolate-covered apple pie, all warm human drenched in delectable blood. I wiped my face furtively, the sleeve of my shirt coming away red.

The alarm I had previous seen started to vanish from their faces, replaced by a broad range of emotions from disapproval (Rosalie) all the way to amusement (Emmett).

"You're a wreck," Alice said, shaking her head. "Your father is going to kill you."

I shrugged, mostly because it was true, and what else could I do? "Your father is going to kill _me_." Alarm registered in her voice, as if the idea of Charlie feeling anything other than adoration toward her was appalling. No one had really taken inventory of Edward yet, which made my heart race a little too fast. Because they had been worried about me. Again. Because no matter how much I trusted Edward, they still weren't quite there.

I glanced around at each eager face, all of which taking me in, waiting for an explanation.

To my surprise, it was Emmett who first took actual note of Edward's presence. He grinned from ear to ear and walked straight past me, giving Edward a hearty clap on the shoulder. Edward wasn't the only one in the room to flinch then; a sympathy jolt shook at least half of us.

"Sorry, man," Emmett said.

"You don't sound sorry," Rosalie voiced from the corner, but she was teasing. The atmosphere was much lighter than when we'd left, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was for our sakes, or if something really had changed.

"It's alright." To his credit, he was certainly trying to be okay with the intrusion. Clearly he was rattled by the unexpected physical contact, but his only response was a small, retreating step.

"You fed," Carlisle interjected. His eyes brightened, hopeful, and I could see in the way he fidgeted that he was trying to harness his curiosity. The questions beneath those ancient eyes were infinite, I realized, and it took him an exorbitant amount of self control to keep them from flying out.

I rolled my eyes but moved to the sink, only half listening as the warm water poured over my frigid fingers.

"Can you talk about it?"

I suppressed a grin. The others waited around the kitchen island, their own curiosity getting the better of them. I couldn't blame them, this was a battle we'd been picking for well over a month, and suddenly it was one less burden we needed to bear.

I felt, rather than saw, Alice's presence next to me, watching me warily as I cleaned up the blood that was now dried on my skin.

"I…" Edward wanted to say no. That much was evident by the defensive posture and the constant glances at the staircase. He wanted to say 'no' and retreat to his bedroom and look out his window. And I wanted to go with him. "Sure."

Carlisle was never easy to say no to, and I was perversely glad that Edward was starting to feel that, too.

"You hunted?" His voice was matter of fact as he spoke, always our confident leader. "And — you didn't eat Bella, so that's a good thing."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward move further into the room and close the door. He nodded.

"Was it difficult?" Carlisle asked.

"Or did it _rock_?" Emmett threw in for good measure.

"It was…" Edward and I made eye contact, and I could no longer hide my smile. I was such a loser, but my vampire made me proud, and damned if I'd stifle one of my few optimistic emotions. One corner of his mouth turned up into what I was starting to recognize as his rendition of a smile, even though it was only half of one, and he finished with, "Interesting."

The next half hour was spent with the family bombarding Edward and me with questions (but mostly Edward). I knew we'd finally satisfied their thirst for knowledge when Carlisle's demeanor went from excited and curious to pensive and reserved.

Edward saw it, too, and also he had the whole mind reading thing going for him, but whatever was coming, he took it in stride.

"Bella," Alice said, before we opened up the can of worms that was her visions. "Would I be wasting my time completely if I tried to convince you to go home?"

Before I could protest, she added, "It's not that we don't want you here, because we do. And it's not that we don't think you deserve to know what's going on, because you do. It's just that, If you stay gone, Charlie is going to notice your absence sooner rather than later. And frankly, I'm not sure this is a complication that we need right now."

I weighed the options in my head. I could stay, risk Charlie finding out and killing me or hunting down the Cullens and killing them, or I could go home and risk having a heart attack from the stress of not knowing what was going on.

I like to think, at this point, that I'd grown up enough to go home and be out of the loop for a few hours, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't upset me.

"I'm not leaving," I said, squeezing Edward's hand under the table that the entire family was now occupying. The wood finish was pristine and I focused on the detailing as I spoke. "Charlie will be alright. If someone's coming, then I think I should know as much as I can-"

"No one is coming immediately," Jasper interjected, his eyes pained.

"You don't know that." I looked at Alice. "You said yourself: it keeps changing. It keeps getting nearer. What if I go home and you get another vision? And whoever is coming is like, five minutes away?"

"I could get there in five minutes," she said, her voice remaining light and teasing in the worst kind of lie. I didn't care. They couldn't get me to budge. Not on this. Not on Edward. She saw my resolve and added, "Bella, Charlie could open your bedroom door and notice you're not there at any moment —"

"Then you should stop arguing and start explaining." I'd like to say that part of my irritability was from sleep deprivation, but if I was being honest, probably I was still upset about that morning. I didn't know how to prove that I belonged here as much as everyone else, and maybe it was because I didn't. But one day I would. And whether I belonged with them or not, leaving me out in the cold couldn't possibly help anything.

"Okay." Her eyes appraised everyone in the room and she continued. Edward looked like he might be fighting some primal urge to get up and leave, but he stayed where he was, his cool fingers trembling in mine the entire time. "We're thinking it'll be over Christmas break… I don't know the exact time frame, but the ribbons… they're on the trees outside." She tossed a pointed glance at Esme. "That means before New Years, but definitely not before December."

"Maybe I shouldn't put them up," her voice came softly, full of remorse and worry, and I realized that Esme was just as wrapped up in all of this as the rest of us, she was just more silent about it.

"Bullshit!" Emmett yelled exuberantly, a heavy fist pounding on the wood for effect. At our stares, he added, "You know that won't do any good."

"He's right. And the ribbons at least help us pinpoint a time frame. Without them, all we know is that there's snow on the ground." Alice's warm eyes found her mother's and locked for a moment. Edward remained calm beside me, having already seen all of this.

"The visions are sort of shifting around a lot, so Carlisle thinks someone might be intentionally changing their decisions to evade my visions—"

"Which isn't possible," Rosalie interrupted, "because no one really knows about your visions."

"—True. Regardless of why, though, someone is being awfully indecisive, so I can only sort of get a grasp on what will happen."

"And that is…?" Edward's voice surprised us all, I think, but most of all me; I guess I'd become so used to his silence that, for now, every word was a miracle. And it sort of was, really.

"It's not great. From what I can tell, they're planning to keep you alive for the time being, but that could obviously change."

_Obviously_. Her sensitivity was disturbing at times like these.

"And, well..." Alice used that moment to peek into the future; to give Edward an actual look at what her most recent visions showed as the future.

To me, she said, "He's alive."

"For how long?"

"For the indefinite future, Bella. They don't want him dead. They want to study him." I could pinpoint exactly when she made the decision to be straight with me, because her face took on a new edge, one that said, _this sucks, but you asked for it_.

"I can't tell what they're thinking, that's not really my thing, but I can tell what they will do. It seems like they're angry, and they've presumably poured a lot of resources into Edward so far, so they're not eager to lose him as an asset." She turned to address Edward. "What they want you for, I don't know. But whatever was put into you, whatever it was that kept you from eating for all those years — I think it has to do with that.

"So Edward," Alice said, looking him square in the eye. "Whatever happens, whether it is today, tomorrow, or ten years down the line, if we can't stop this, _if they get you,_ do not let them put those chemicals into your body."

Edward nodded his head and stood. I stood with him, and at that, we retreated into the only sanctuary that my vampire had ever known.

**A/N:** I don't have an update schedule to give you. I'll update when chapters are completed, sometimes may be longer than others, but I don't plan to break my record of 19 months. Thanks :)


	26. The Visitor

**The Visitor**

**A/N**: Jilburfm rocks the beta. Happy reading

**Bella POV**

"How do I look?"

I eyed myself skeptically in the mirror. I was so far beyond dead.

It was 9:00 a.m., and I was already late for school. When Alice had seen the vision of us sitting in detention for tardiness, she'd thrown a fit, run up the stairs, and picked out an outfit. For me.

"Hurry!" she yelled, stampeding back down and out the door to warm up the car. Small favors.

I looked at myself in the mirror then turned to Edward.

He sat on the bed pensively, as if the answer to this question held the answers to the universe.

"Pretty." His voice was low and decisive. Never had I been so inflated by one simple word, yet I found myself smiling from ear to ear.

I pulled back my hair and did a quick once-over, double checking to make sure I got all the blood off in the shower. _That_ would be a hard one to explain.

"Come on!" Alice barged into the room and dragged me out, my last glimpse of Edward being that crooked, quirky smile.

* * *

When I opened my phone after school was when things took a turn for the worse. I had 14 missed calls and closer to 3,000 text messages, all to the key of "Call me immediately." I swallowed back fear and guilt and a thousand other emotions. I was confident they'd come back with a vengeance shortly.

Alice had warned me, right before I'd gotten out of the car, that tonight wouldn't be pretty. She told me that if I wanted to come over later, fine, but that I'd have to walk, because she was _not _driving me and I would definitely not have my truck. Apparently things weren't going to go so well this evening.

In my defense, which I understand was shaky at best, I really didn't think Charlie was going to check on me. Any other day, by the time I wake up for school he's already gone to work. Of course, by some weird cosmic intervention, he chose this morning to change it up.

I stood on the porch for at least seven minutes, just shifting my weight from foot to foot, putting off the inevitable. The cruiser was in the driveway, which meant that Charlie had probably called off work today.

As much as I tried to push it aside, guilt stabbed at me like a thousand little pinpricks until I could dawdle no longer.

I thought briefly about running away screaming, finding a nice little hidey hole and eating bugs and drinking from the river until I died. That way I didn't have to face what I knew was coming.

I'd let Charlie down, and what killed me most was that it hadn't even been twenty-four hours since our big responsibility talk.

Crap.

I knew he'd heard me when I walked in, because the familiar drone of the TV was quickly muted.

I stilled in the hallway, hanging my coat and willing my heart to just calm down, just for a minute.

It was that look that I dreaded most. That look that said 'I trusted you, and you let me down.' The one every parent comes fully equipped with but reserves for the most dire of circumstances. The one reserved for when your child has really shown themselves to be a bad egg.

The one that fathers give to daughters who sneak out to see their boyfriends in the middle of the night.

"I'm home," I called down the hallway, proud that my voice was generally even, but still fighting with my heart over whether or not it should be beating quite so rapidly.

The lack of answer told me one of two things: Either Charlie was so infuriated that he could not yet respond, or he'd had a heart attack when I walked in the door alive.

That was one coin I didn't want to flip.

"Dad?" I asked timidly. My footsteps were light, a false kind of serenity to my movements, when I walked toward the living room.

Charlie was sitting in his favorite chair, staring at the muted show blankly, a beer in one hand his cell phone in the other.

He did not look up at me.

I sort of expected that he was going to give me the silent treatment and just wait for me to spill my guts (which probably wouldn't have been too long), so he surprised me when he said, "Sit down."

Automatically, I did. I wasn't sure if I should apologize or if I should wait. Whenever my mom caught me doing something I shouldn't be doing, I'd always let her say her piece then show the remorse. But Charlie wasn't my mom, and even if he was, this situation was probably worse than anything I'd done to date.

When he spoke, his voice wasn't one of an overworked cop who'd had a few too many beers. It was that of a parent who'd sent countless text messages and phone calls to his daughter over the past several hours, probably on the verge of filing a missing person's report, when she walked in the door unscathed.

"Dad, I…" I didn't know what to say, so I let my voice trail off.

"I went to the Cullen's," Charlie said, after a pretty significantly petrifying pause. He kept his eyes carefully trained on the television when he spoke, and I didn't respond. What could I say?

"The Doctor has always been a very nice man. I'd have arrested him, if I could, but on what charges?"

"I can explain," I finally whispered. But could I? And, more importantly, should I?

"Well, then," he responded, still not even sparing me a glance. "Let's hear it."

I paused, not really expecting him to call me on an explanation.

"I…" I focused on the floor, eying a small ripple in the wood, and felt my eyes start to water.

"I don't want you seeing them anymore."

His gaze continued to rest on the TV but he definitely wasn't watching it. His hands were clenched tightly, his arms rigid, the muscles in his jaw working furiously to remain emotionally detached.

"Dad, I —"

He slammed his beer down on the side table and his eyes finally met mine. They were filled with a fury that I'd not remembered ever seeing in Charlie, one that both worried me and amazed me. Because I guess I didn't realize he cared so much. But what he was proposing wasn't a choice.

"You're not to see the Cullens anymore."

"That's not really an option," I whispered, able to hold his gaze only for a few split seconds. There was no way to make him understand how far deep I was in, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he could not keep me from them. From Edward. I focused on keeping my breathing level, waiting for it to be over.

"You don't call the shots. And until you're responsible enough to, you won't call the shots. Do you have any idea what it feels like? For your daughter — your child — to be missing from her bed at six in the goddam morning?"

While, personally, I figured he was overreacting, I'd never seen Charlie so angry at me. And I guess I never saw it coming, because, Christ, teenagers sneak out. It's what they do. Why should I be any different?

When I realized he was waiting for an answer, I said, "I'm sorry," and pulled the pillow from the couch into my lap. Was I sorry? If I could do it again, I think I probably would. But I _was_ sorry for worrying him.

"Where were you?" Charlie's voice was demanding, his temper flaring now that he'd gotten started.

I shook my head, refusing to look him in the eye. Refusing to see all the hurt and the anger and refusing to see what he thought of me in that moment. If he had visited Carlisle, he already knew where I'd been.

"What's his name?" he spat, standing and placing himself directly in front of me. I'd never seen Charlie intimidating, but I don't think I'd have imagined it was possible.

I paused, gathering my wits. "Edward," I said calmly.

"Well, you and _Edward_ are not to see each other again."

I let that one sink in for a minute before responding.

"Wait… like, ever?"

"It's become clear to me, Isabella, that a relationship is too much for you to handle like an adult."

The air whooshed out of me in a defiant laughter and my eyes narrowed as my temper got the better of me. "Is this a joke?" Before he could respond, I added, "You can't tell me who I can and cannot be friends with. What about school? Am I banished from my educational pursuits as well? What? Are you going to handcuff me to my bedposts and flush the key?"

"Maybe!" Charlie bellowed, standing now. I stood, too.

"I said I was sorry! What else can I do?"

"Maybe it's time we think about other options." His voice, which was full of anger and contempt, lowered considerably at that last thought. His body language immediately changed from imposing to defeated, and I knew I'd not approve of these other options.

"I don't want to explore other options," I told him, my words shaking as my emotions ran wild.

"I don't know." He breathed out his words like they pained him greatly and it pained me too, to be honest. "I just think maybe… maybe you were wrong to come here."

Ouch. I felt tears immediately flow over and scolded myself for being so sensitive. There was a way to fix this. There had to be. Charlie was angry, but we'd work it out. We always did. Although never had he been quite so upset with me.

"I just — I just think that your mom — well — she might be able to deal with this stuff better."

"I don't think so." This couldn't be happening. He _couldn't _be serious. "I'm okay with it, if you want to do the bedpost thing. But I'm not going to Florida."

He sat on the couch next to me and when I looked at his face, I saw all kinds of things. Resentment, pain, longing. Anger. He was masking it now, but it was definitely still fueling his words. Could I even blame him? "I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to do right by you, but… the sneaking out, the secret boyfriend… you're never around! And your schoolwork…" He looked away from me and closed his eyes. "You used to be so focused. So driven and – so happy, Bella. But these past few months, you've changed. And I can't say I'm impressed."

I tried to see it from his perspective.

"What happened to you?" His voice was a sigh, dejected and deflated. "I know we've never been real close, and I know I haven't always been the best dad, but cut your old man some slack?"

It was then that I made the decision to tell my father the truth. Because everything was falling apart, and if he wanted to, he really could ship me to Florida.

"I fell in love," I said, shrugging because I felt like I was lost. I wiped my hand across my face, trying to be less pathetic and drying the free flowing tears. Before he could comment, I continued, "And I know it sounds stupid, because 18 year olds can't be in love, but I did. I am. I do." His face remained carefully blank. "Love him. I love him.

"And before you ask, no, we're not having sex, and no, we're not doing anything bad or illegal, and he's 17 and he's smart and beautiful and… Please," I choked back a sob and I wanted to stab myself for being such a mess. "Don't make me go to Florida?" My voice came out as a whispered plea.

Charlie's mouth fell open.

"I know I messed up and I suck and I get it, but I'll do better. You can ground me or lock me up or take my truck and my internet but just… don't make me go to Florida.

"Please, Dad."

He scratched the back of his head in a way that was his token move and sighed. "Bella, I just don't know if I can deal with it anymore. The lying and the sneaking around. What happened?"

"Edward needed me to be with him last night. I didn't even," my voice lowered, "I didn't even realize what I was doing. I didn't think. But I went, because he needed me, and because I love him, and because that's what you do for the people you love."

"You can't just _leave_ in the middle of the night without telling anyone, Bella! I thought you'd been kidnapped. First with that man looking for you, then just running off? It's not – it's not right to put me through that.

"Look, you say your boyfriend needed you. I get that, Bella, I do. Okay. He needed you, and I'm sure it was important, because you're a smart girl. But would letting me know kill you?"

I hadn't actually considered _telling_ Charlie I needed to leave.

"I just," he continued, "I feel like I don't know you anymore."

"I can't change what I did," I whispered, my vision blurred from the stupid tears. "But I can do better, and I promise, Charlie, I'll do better."

He nodded his head and lifted his hands in defeat. "I know you will, Bella." He half smiled, but it only disheartened me. "Christ, pull it together." A loud, obnoxious sob escaped me and I laughed because what else could I do?

"On three conditions."

I prepared myself for the worst, hoped for the best.

"Anything."

"First, you're grounded."

Okay, I expected that much.

"No internet, no TV, no car, no friends, for…" He looked at me, confused. "What's a good amount of time for something like this?"

"A month?" I asked, sniffling. Hell if I knew.

We weighed out how long would be appropriate. We finally decided on two weeks, which I thought would kill me dead, but I'd take it.

The second was that I was never ever allowed to sneak out, ever again.

"What's your last condition?" I asked, the panic rising in my chest once more.

"I want to meet him."

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing I could go back to this morning, before any of this had happened, and just have gone home when Alice suggested it.

"Dad," I breathed, and he could predict refusal before I even started.

"'No,' isn't an option, Bells. If you're going to be living under my roof, eating my food, and sneaking out _my_ window, I'll need to see what all the fuss is about."

I'm pretty sure Charlie was trying to be light to keep me from falling apart again, and I know he was just being nice, but how could Edward possibly come over to meet Charlie?

"Okay," I agreed reluctantly, unsure of how to make this happen but willing to revisit it. Several moments passed before I felt prepared to announce, "I have a counter-offer."

"This isn't really a negotiation," Charlie said, but his expression led me to believe that he was at least somewhat interested in what I had to say.

"I agree to all of your terms, Dad. But the part about meeting Edward… Well, it's kind of complicated."

"That so?"

"Edward… he doesn't really do well with new people." I was making him sound like a maniac, I realized, but I couldn't explain it any other way on such short notice. I could see his rebuttal budding, so I made sure to make my point. "And I'm on board with him meeting you, but uhh, can we maybe do it at the Cullens' house?"

Confused, Charlie said, "Uhh… sure."

"Okay, then. I accept."

"Okay, then."

We sat in awkward silence for several minutes before Charlie finally broke it.

"So, are you cooking or are we ordering pizza?"

* * *

I trudged up to my room ruefully, thinking back to the argument. Something about it was nagging at me, but it was all so blurry and emotionally charged that I couldn't come up with anything specific.

When I got to the room, I looked around remorsefully. I felt like crap, and this would be my cell for the next couple weeks. I might as well get used to it.

It didn't feel like home now. My bed felt cold and alone, and I sat down on the edge, pulling my feet up. How the hell was I going to survive the next two weeks?

* * *

Eight days passed that way. I went to school, came home and read all night. Ironically, I'm pretty sure Charlie was the one with the guilty conscience, so he made sure to be home for dinner every single night.

When I wasn't going crazy worrying about Edward and the Cullens, I had to admit that the time at home was actually sort of nice. Every evening over dinner, Charlie would ask me about Edward, and every evening over dinner, I'd do the best I could to answer him. My answers were always vague, but Charlie seemed genuinely interested in the things that I told him. Then he'd follow up with schoolwork, friends, and finally (albeit reluctantly) the Cullens.

Charlie was angrier with them then he was with me at that point, and when I tried to champion them, he'd tell me things like, "Carlisle knows better," and "They encouraged it."

The waiting was impossible, but Alice assured me on the phone that everything was fine. I told her I'd kill her if she wasn't taking good care of my vampire, and I meant it. I'd ask her for information updates and she'd tell me that they were doing everything they could to gain the upper hand.

Not being able to pitch in definitely lowered my spirits, and I found myself wishing that I could do _something_ to help.

For all that, though, the distance from all the crazy was sort of nice, in its way. It gave me time to realize that I really missed my dad and I really missed reading and I really missed my bedroom.

Of course, none of these held any comparison to how much I missed Edward, and I often found myself calculating the days, then the hours, then the minutes until I could visit.

I wondered if my punishment ended at midnight exactly or if it was implied that I'd have to wait until after school next Thursday.

It was Friday night and, as par for the course, I was lying in my bed. I'd long abandoned the book that I'd started, opting instead to let my angst wash over me. I stared at the ceiling, watching the shadows.

I wondered what Edward was doing right at that moment. Probably he was lying in his bed, too, maybe watching shadows with me in spirit. Alternatively, maybe he was hunting or playing video games with Emmett and I'd never even know. It was stupid that I wasn't allowed to be there with him.

After replaying every happy memory I had with him in my mind (which should really only take a few minutes, but took me considerably longer), I glanced at the clock.

It was 1:12 a.m., and I wasn't even all that sleepy.

With a moan, I rolled on to my stomach and smashed my face against my pillow.

"Being grounded sucks," I mumbled into the cotton.

The lights were all off and I thought about going to bed, but instead decided to wallow for just a little while longer.

At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I awoke with a start to an odd noise.

My heart leapt in my chest as a branch broke just outside, and I immediately jumped off the bed and flattened myself against the wall next to the window. I clutched the first bludgeoning weapon I could find, which turned out to be my spelling bee trophy from third grade. I listened carefully, but heard nothing.

Keeping my breathing calm and my body poised for action, I slowly peeked down at the tree.

_It was an animal, _the rational (though small) part of me said. But then that crazy force inside of me that I had absolutely no control over told me that it was something else.

Maybe the Volturi had finally come for me. It seemed unlikely that they'd enter my house via tree-and-window, but who knew? Or maybe it was the evil scientists who were out to get Edward. Either way, I wasn't anxious to find out.

I briefly considered screaming, but before I even could, a hooded figure appeared right in front of me, on the other side of the pane, and I'm pretty sure I swallowed my lungs and my voice and everything else that can't be swallowed.

I heaved out a sigh that said oh-my-god-you-gave-me-a-heart-attack before setting the trophy aside and throwing all of my weight into heaving up the sticky wood.

"Hi," I breathed, my smile insurmountable. I was still panting heavily from the panic, nausea and exertion, but I didn't care.

"Hi," Edward responded, his face reserved and uncertain. "I'd have knocked but… I didn't want to wake your father."

My smile grew impossibly larger. "Probably for the best." I moved aside to let him in, bouncing on my toes and waiting for the moment to make my attack.

As soon as both of his feet were planted on the floor of my bedroom, I tackle-hugged him, throwing all of my weight into his arms.

I didn't care that this was potentially stupid, or that my hair was a mess and my outfit had purple kittens on it.

And neither did he, by the way he hugged me back, completely ignoring the jolt that ran through his body at the contact.

I laced my fingers through the hair on the back of his neck, pulling his head to mine and letting our lips meet. And it was divine.

"I missed you," I whispered against his neck, kissing his jaw line. I think every emotion I'd been holding in was coming out in waves, and Edward was the recipient. I hoped he didn't mind too much.

"As I missed you." He pulled away and held my face in his hands, looking at me as if he hadn't seen me in years. For the most part, his body was calm, but I could feel the slight shake of his nervous hands. This was new territory for him. "Alice said you were grounded."

He ran his hands through my hair, his signature sort-of-smile melting my heart.

"Yeahhh." I drew out the word and reluctantly pulled away, taking him in under the light of the moon. His hands were chilly to the touch, his watchful eyes flecked with a gold so deep that I knew he'd hunted. He seemed uncertain in uncharted territory. I watched, amused, as he took in the nuances of _my_ bedroom, and when his eyes rested on me once more, I took his hand and dragged him to the bed. "So we should probably be quiet."

"I can do quiet," his voice was low, but not quite a whisper, as he sat beside me. I was glad for it, too, because I really didn't think I'd have the strength of mind to ask him to leave, regardless of whether or not I thought we'd be caught.

"And also, if you hear Charlie —"

"— run?"

A small laugh escaped me and I lay back in bed, prompting Edward to do the same, and he didn't argue. I'd been waiting for this for over a week, and it wasn't disappointing.

We were on our sides, facing each other.

"Yes. Fast and far, lest a crazed cop with a shotgun hunt you down."

"He can join the club."

I didn't like that Edward reminded me so quickly of everything we had to fear, but I guess it wasn't something he could hide from.

"About that." He closed his eyes and nodded his head tersely. "Have you guys learned anything?"

"I haven't tried, really." Edward responded. As an afterthought, he added, "I've been sort of useless this past week."

I smiled and scooched in closer, reveling in the feel of his now-strong arms wrapping around me. My head rest on his bicep, so close that I could feel every breath he took. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, letting his scent assault my senses. I set myself to the task of matching my breathing to his.

I had a thousand questions that I wanted to ask him, like how he'd hunted, what he'd been doing, and how he came to be in my tree that evening, but I didn't want to break the silence that had settled. Wrapped so tightly in his arms, I was reminded by the almost-unnoticeable tremble in his frame that this was a _huge_ deal for him. He'd come to see me; he'd traveled here, all by himself, for _me._ It gave me butterflies.

"Charlie said I could go to the station tomorrow and search their database," I whispered, tilting my head back so I could see more of him.

"I told him that I had a genealogy project, and since he's already being served a healthy dose of guilt every day, he was an easy target. I don't know if it'll help, but I feel like I can't just sit here and do nothing, you know?"

"Yes," Edward said, "I know."

"I'm really glad you're here." My arm fit nicely under his, my hand drawing patterns into his back. Probably it'd be inappropriate to ask him to take his sweatshirt off. "How'd you find me?"

"I… followed your scent."

"My scent was still strong enough to follow?"

"Well, it was… when…"

Reality dawned on me then.

"This wasn't your first time here?" I asked, enamored with the prospect that Edward had been checking in on me.

"I — well, no." Edward looked miffed at being outed. It was kind of cute on him. "I wanted to make sure you were safe…"

"When _was_ the first time, if it wasn't tonight?" I snuggled in closer, my heart beating rapidly in my chest as I nuzzled into the fabric of his shirt.

"Alice told me you couldn't visit, so I came…last Thursday."

"Why didn't you come in?" I asked, astounded.

"Your father was yelling at you." He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair, down my spine, and I was a big goober in his arms. "I didn't think it was a good time."

"Yeah, good point," I allotted, but then thought about it. "But why didn't you come in any other night?"

"I…" He looked ashamed, his eyes all dark and emotive. "I can't let him take you from me."

Clinging to him instinctively, I thought about this. No one could possibly take me from him. Or I'd die. "Edward." My voice was muffled by his clothes, but I knew he'd hear me. "I'll never let that happen. I'll never, ever, for as long as I live, let anyone take me from you."

His breath was a sigh, but he kissed the top of my head and I knew the sentiment was shared. "But," I added as an afterthought, "I love that you did that for me."

And then my vampire hugged me tighter.

I fell asleep that way, and when I woke up, Edward was gone.

* * *

I sat in front of the computer in Charlie's office. Edward came back last night, which made me super happy, but then left again in the morning, which made me realize that my life would suck for at least five more days. But I'd get through it.

I typed Edward Masen into the bar, and narrowed it down to 1911. Alice mentioned something the Volturi had uncovered, which left me feeling like we were missing a big piece of the puzzle.

It searched a bazillion scanned newspaper articles, from all over the country, as well as unpublished police stuff, and left me with a hearty pile of crap to wade through.

After looking through the first few articles and coming up empty, I refined.

Edward Masen, Scientist, Death, 1911.

The first thing I found was a death notice, which I decided was for Edward's grandmother. It read:

Emily Masen, 1868 - 1911.

It was complete with funeral information. Survived in death by her husband, Edward Masen Sr., son, Edward Masen Jr, and grandson, Edward Masen III.

It was weird, seeing this hundred year old document and knowing that it was during his childhood, but I made no mistake: that was Edward.

I continued scrolling through articles, occasionally adjusting my search. Eventually, I came to one in the classified database that looked promising.

It came up as "unresolved," and was titled 'Emily Masen - 1911.' I pulled it up as the door opened.

Quickly, I minimized the page, feeling like I was seeing something that no one should see.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie said cheerfully, handing me a cup of soda. "How goes the hunt?"

"Not great," I admitted, leaning back in his rolly chair and stretching my muscles.

"Anything I can do?"

"Nah," I responded, closing my eyes and rubbing my neck. "But thanks."

"No problem. I'm gonna get back to work, just figured I'd check in."

"Thanks, Dad."

As soon as the door was definitely shut, I opened the page again.

Cause of Death - Unknown

In what appeared to be the case of the decade, Emily Masen's body was discovered floating in small lake. Police were baffled when the corpse was examined, because, as the article explained, her death didn't make any medical sense.

The only evidence they found which might bear some explanation to what actually killed her was a small hypodermic syringe mark directly above her heart.

I continued reading, dumbstruck by this woman's horrific death.

Burned from the inside out, the article told. As if some blood-eating virus had swooped in and destroyed her. The actual cause of death seemed to be multi-organ failure, the result of an "acid-like" substance entering her bloodstream. They were unable to identify what chemical had entered her.

I could make a few educated guesses.

When questioned, Edward Masen told officials that he'd been out of town on business. A colleague at a research hospital in Ohio acted as his alibi.

I wrote down the name of the laboratory, along with the contact information and any other details I thought might be relevant.

I read the article carefully, but found no further information.

Once more, I amended my search.

Ohio Medical Center Research Institute, 1911, Edward Masen.

In 1913, two years after Edward Masen quit his job at the hospital in Chicago, he gave a lecture at the Institute about a huge discovery that might reinvent the way power is allocated throughout the world.

According to a psych evaluation, in 1956, at the age of 88, Edward Masen died in a maximum security psychological ward, his constant ramblings about vampires controlling the universe leading doctors to believe that dementia had taken hold of the once-brilliant scientist. His dying words both confounded and mesmerized the doctors who were present. _Inject me_.

When Charlie came in and told me it was time to go, I was more than ready to be done for the day.

He promised I could come back again if I needed more material. I assured him that I would take him up on his offer.

**A/N**: Out of town for the weekend - will shoot for another new chapter by next Monday :) Thanks for reading!


	27. The Dinner

**A/N**: Thanks to jilburfm for betaing, ocd_indeed for validating, and jeesiechreesie for that thing that she did. Here ya go, a couple days early.

* * *

**BPOV**

When the first flakes of white hit the marshy green of Forks, Washington, I was sound asleep. I awoke that morning in my own bed, shivering, and realized with alarm that D-Day was fast approaching.

Edward stared out of my open window, mesmerized by the blanket of snow covering my yard.

I, on the other hand, was not so welcoming of the shift in weather.

I watched with amusement as he stuck his hand into the cascading flurries, turning it this way and that, his brow crinkling occasionally as if in deep thought.

Standing, I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders and padded across the room. I twined my arms around his torso and tried very hard to see it as he did.

To Edward, the snow was magical. Yet another gift the outside world had to offer him. A symbol of change, of freedom. A symbol of beauty and light in an otherwise dark place.

To me, though, the snow was merely a marker in time; a harbinger of a fate which we could not escape.

He half turned, wrapping one arm around my shoulders and squeezing me closer to him. I was his willing servant.

"I'm sorry." He started to pull his hand back in, presumably to close the window. When I stopped him, he said, "But you're shivering."

"I've had worse." Three nights a week, Edward and I ran. Well, Edward ran and I rode, but the sentiment was the same. His anxiety over my body temperature never lessened, but the run was addictive. To both of us. We'd talk about anything and everything. Usually conversation revolved around my experiences, because on the rare occasion that we'd get to talking about him, his face would crease with worry and a deep tremor would run clear down his spine.

I didn't like it, so I tried to avoid the heavy stuff.

Regardless of conversation, by the time we'd get back to the mansion I'd be as frigid as my vampire. Afterward, we'd sit by the fire and he'd rub warmth back into my arms. I can't say I hated it.

"It's amazing," he said, as if he'd never seen snow before. Of course, he had, but not in almost a century.

"Does it look different now?"

His head angled toward me and he smiled, kissing my forehead. "Yes."

"How?" My voice came a whisper as I glanced at the clock. If we got sloppy, we'd get caught.

It'd been over a month since Edward started sneaking to my house, almost completely eliminating my need to break Charlie's number one ground rule. So far, no one had mentioned it.

I was almost certain the Cullens all knew and it just wasn't a high priority, and I was grateful not to have to explain myself.

"It's so much clearer now. I can see… everything." He removed his hand from the window and held it in front of me. The little white dots all blended together, his cool body preserving them for just a little bit longer. "Every single little flake has its own shape."

His hand was ice to the touch, but I held it loosely, trying to see what he saw. Without vampire vision, I could make out no shapes. Without vampire hearing, I wouldn't recognize the constant slap-slap-slap of the snow against the window. Alice had described it to me once. She said it was her very favorite part of being a vampire.

Which brought me back to what I'd been trying to convince Edward (all of the Cullens, in fact) of: They needed to change me.

"Why won't you do it?" I sat back down on the bed as he closed my window. He took his place beside me and pulled his knees to his chest, and I let my head rest against them.

"I can't," was always his response, and today was no exception. "You know I… I can't risk it."

Edward was the only semi-willing participant in what would have been my plan, and he didn't trust his body with the task.

I found myself asking, for the thousandth time, "Why won't Carlisle, or Alice? Why are they keeping me weak?"

I know it wasn't fair to Edward. It felt dirty exploiting his gift, like I was asking him to pry into the minds of my friends; of our friends. Immediately, I regretted it. "Don't answer that," I told him before he had a chance.

I felt his hand graze my spine and rest on my neck. He pushed the hair away and traced patterns into my skin, and I was reminded of all those nights spent in the basement with him.

It was amazing, really. He had always been so strong. From the very first night that I'd approached him, through homecoming, my birthday, the Volturi and even hunting. Every action caused him so much suffering, and yet he'd withstood it all.

I just wanted to be strong for him. Just once, I didn't want my safety to be at the forefront of everyone's mind when this thing went down.

"You could ask Carlisle tonight?"

Edward's voice didn't carry a trace of doubt, which made me smile, but his words carried a reminder that wiped the smile clear from my face.

Tonight.

How had this happened?

"God," I moaned, turning my face into his leg. After what had to be at least five minutes of silence, I picked up my head and turned to look at him. His expression was a mask of composure as he reluctantly freed my neck. I missed his hand immediately.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Edward nodded, his smile offering little reassurance.

"When he asks you why you're not in school, tell him you graduated early."

"From where?" Edward's interest surprised me, and I thought about it.

"Somewhere far, far away." He smiled.

"And college?"

I had no idea what to tell him. The truth was, I wasn't sure Charlie would ever approve of Edward as my boyfriend. Despite his lack of family, history and a social security number, his social awkwardness alone would really kill his chances. "You're taking a year off."

"Taking a year off… why?"

"But definitely you're going to go eventually. Since you graduated from high school early, you wanted to take some time and let your peers catch up with you. You're very gifted." I squeezed his calf playfully and was rewarded with a low chuckle.

"Should I mention that?"

"It can't hurt."

"And if he asks about my family?"

Frowning, I considered this. "I don't know." The silence was a hefty one. "This is going to be a disaster." With a sigh, I fell back in my bed.

* * *

The Cullens' kitchen was one of the most beautiful lies in existence. Sitting in it as Esme moved about nervously, I admired its contents. It was probably the most fantastic kitchen I'd ever seen, let alone cooked in, and it was never, ever used.

Alice and I had gone grocery shopping that afternoon, under the direction of _buy __everything __in__ sight_, a vain effort to make the kitchen complete.

Usually, there was some blood in the fridge, next to some milk and maybe a few snacks for me. In the freezer, there was almost always a frozen pizza in case of emergency. Other than that, the place was deserted.

Fully stocked with pots, pans, plates, and every other utensil a kitchen _should_ have, this kitchen was a farce.

And why shouldn't it be?

It took upward of an hour to unpack everything and another hour to 'human proof' the rest of the mansion, just in case.

We double checked all the toilet paper, kicked the heat up a few degrees, lit a fire and put the blood under lock and key.

Only when Alice was satisfied that the house was passable as human-inhabited was I allowed a break.

I sat at the kitchen island with Edward as Alice, Rose, Esme and Emmett put together the most beautifully aromatic food I'd ever smelled. I had no idea how they knew these recipes, but the scent was intoxicating, assaulting my senses from all angles.

Edward watched me with fascinated eyes.

"I miss it," he whispered, and I covered his exposed hand with my own. It was one of the rare moments where Edward willingly gave up information about himself, and I was all ears.

"Food?"

"Yes. Chicken. Cheese." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Chocolate."

"Does it still smell good?"

At this, he laughed humorlessly and shook his head.

"Only one thing smells good to me now."

Of course. "I used to gag at the smell of blood. Last year I had to be hauled to the nurse's office for passing out during a science experiment."

"I still do. It's foul."

Alice wandered over to the counter and hopped up, crossing her legs daintily and leaning back on her elbows.

"It doesn't tempt you at all?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

He thought about it for a minute, before responding. "No. It — it dulls the ache. But it doesn't smell good."

"So tell me, Edward Masen, what is this fabulous aroma, if not blood?"

He cast a sideways glance my direction and shook his head.

But Alice's watchful gaze missed nothing, and she gave an approving nod and hopped down.

I rolled my eyes and stood, as well.

"Can I do anything?"

"You can go home to shower and get changed. Charlie will be more comfortable if you come together."

I thought it was silly that I was required to clean up to eat dinner with _my_ dad, but since I was basically doing nothing, I took it as my cue to leave.

* * *

"You seem nervous," Charlie noted astutely.

I smiled to try to reassure him, when in fact, I _was_ nervous. Incredibly so. It was asking a lot of Edward, when he could barely tolerate Jasper, to make conversation with my dad.

Putting it that way, I realized what an epic mistake this night was going to be.

I let my head fall back against the headrest in the cruiser.

"I'm not _so_ bad, am I?"

"It's not you," I groaned into the air. Charlie knew this. I'd been preparing him for weeks on tonight; be ready for the worst, hope for the best. The best, in my humble opinion, was that Edward would be able to sit through dinner without having a heart attack.

The worst wasn't pretty.

I opened my eyes and appraised my dad. His shoulders were tight, his hands gripping the wheel a little too firmly. He was clean shaved, wearing a button down shirt and the finest jeans Forks had to offer a middle aged cop.

His hair was trimmed and his cologne, saved only for the rarest occasions, gave him an air of sophistication that he didn't usually carry.

He wanted to make a good impression, and I loved him for it. Unfortunately, I just couldn't see tonight going well.

As we pulled into the driveway I checked the tree line, verifying that there were no ribbons or anything that could be misconstrued as a ribbon. It'd become my routine to coast down the rocky lane and pay careful attention to every last trunk.

If Alice's visions were correct, we were safe for another night.

The thought gave me little comfort.

Together, we padded up the steps and onto the porch, where Charlie knocked twice on the big European door. More likely than not, the Cullens all knew we were here and Emmett was cracking his first joke about the pace of my heart rate. Alice was probably making sure every picture frame was straight. Esme was probably checking the temperature of the chicken. And Edward… well, who knew what Edward was doing.

After an extended wait, the door opened before us. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and I heard Charlie laugh next to me. I was glad someone was having fun.

"Charlie," Carlisle greeted, extending a firm hand. Charlie shook it.

"Doctor Cullen."

My dad held his hand a little too long before releasing it. I let out my breath.

"Hi, Carlisle," I said, and hugged him. It felt like the right thing to do.

"Come in." Carlisle took a few steps back and allowed us to pass.

We hung our coats and were greeted by the rest of the family.

Charlie looked them all over twice, then looked at me and I shook my head, a silent answer. No Edward yet.

As the introductions went on, my anxiety grew. Charlie slowly started coming into his element, comforted by the warmth of the mansion, the familial photographs scattered about, and the can of beer that Esme had graciously handed to him.

"So," Charlie finally said, sitting down in the living room while Alice and Rose put the finishing touches on the dinner. "Where's the boyfriend?"

He wasn't looking at me when he said it, and I assumed he wasn't talking to me, so I just internally groaned and pleaded with anyone who would possibly help me to intervene. Right now.

"Edward's just upstairs, getting dressed," Esme chimed, her eyes showing a worry that was not detectable in her voice. "Maybe you should go check on him?" She looked at me when she said this.

I was mid-stand when his voice carried into the room, followed by a very dapper-looking vampire. "Sorry I'm late," Edward said, his voice timid only to the most trained ear. I slowly took him in, starting at his shoes.

They were black leather, the tops covered by the sexiest pair of jeans I'd ever seen. It was rare that I saw him in jeans at all, but these ones were definitely new. This was Alice's doing.

They hugged his legs in the most appealing way, the dark wash flattering the toned muscles of his legs, making him irresistible. I unconsciously licked my lips a little as I made my way upward.

The button down shirt that Edward wore was enough to make any girl swoon. It was black and sleek, fitting his torso like a glove, begging me to run my hands over him. He had it rolled up a bit on his forearms. The top button remained modestly undone.

When I met his eyes there was a smile there, and I couldn't say how long my hypnosis had lasted. I heard my dad clear his throat in the background, but I couldn't pull my eyes from my vampire.

"I… sorry. Dad," I said, finally breaking the spell, "This is Edward. Edward, my dad, Chief Swan." I used his title because I knew it made him proud.

If you didn't know Edward, you certainly wouldn't notice the hesitation in his step, or the way that Carlisle hovered protectively by his side, more for his peace of mind than for actual protection. You also wouldn't notice the tightness of his shoulders, or the flinch that accompanied his handshake with my father.

It was an award winning performance.

"Nice to finally meet you, Edward. Bella's told me so much about you."

Edward swallowed back some terror and I smiled in spite of myself, because damned if he wasn't trying. "Yeah," he choked out, pulling his hand back. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

Alice took that moment to come in and Edward was immediately by my side. I held my hand out for his and together we followed the family into the dining room.

With the food before us, there was little chatter. I watched curiously as each of the Cullens used their own strategies to clear their plate, pitching in conversation when necessary. Mostly, though, Carlisle and Charlie talked shop, talked city politics, and, to be frank, gossiped like old ladies.

Interestingly, the Cullens' plates were clearing at the same rate as my own. Edward didn't have any trouble with this part, but I worried about how he would do later. Alice once described to me what they needed to do to get the food out of their bodies.

Edward eating human food was like Edward drinking blood before Carlisle fixed him. When they weren't looking, I'd nab bites off his plate and devour them, discouraging him from eating at all.

"So Edward." Both of us snapped to attention at the sound of his name. "How old are you?" I didn't like having the attention on Edward, but I knew it was going to happen eventually. I tried to think of a distraction.

Edward's eyes found mine in a brief moment of panic before he replied, "Seventeen." I saw his throat bob as he swallowed. Now or never. I prayed it wouldn't all come crashing down, not with the finish line so near. A quick glance at Carlisle and Esme told me that they were both prepared to save him, should the need arise.

"Bella likes the younger fellas," Emmett said gruffly, nudging me with his shoulder. I gave him a look that I hoped conveyed _shut-up-or-you__'__re-dead-when-I-become-a-vampire_, but he only laughed.

"Seventeen." My dad whistled as he threw it around in his head. "You play any sports?"

The response was a terse shake of the head. "No. I don't… I don't go to school."

He looked at me for affirmation and I nodded and squeezed his hand under the table.

"No? You didn't…" Charlie looked at me and I blinked hard. "Why aren't you going to school?"

"I… graduated?" A single noise of laughter escaped Emmett before I shot him a look so scathing that he took the hint. "Uh… from a school in Chicago." I felt Edward's hand shaking in mine as he desperately tried to keep eye contact with my father.

"That where you're from?"

He nodded automatically, exhaling a too-shaky breath.

Charlie missed it. "Ahh, the Windy City. You like it out there?"

"Very much."

Dad leveled his eyes with Edward's.

"You don't sound like anyone I know from Chicago. How long have you been in Washington?"

"Who do you know in Chicago?" I interrupted, diverting.

"Well, uh." Charlie scratched his chin and took a drink from his beer. "Oh! I've been meaning to ask you about that man."

"What man?"

Everyone got a little too quiet before Alice took it upon herself to resume the quiet chatter.

"He was from Chicago. Told me so himself. Now _he_," my dad said to Edward directly, "had the accent to go with it. Does it have something to do with what neighborhood you're from?"

Edward looked at me, concerned.

"Wait, wait. Back it up. What man?" I asked again.

"You know," Charlie said, maybe one beer too far in. "The one I told you about. The morning that… Well, you know. And why was he visiting you so goddam early, anyway?"

"No, I don't know. What morning? What _man_?" My heart started its little panicked dance and I took a drink of my water.

"The one with the hair thingy." He stared at me blankly. When I showed no signs of recognition, he said, "You know… Longish blonde, tall…" I still didn't know who the hell he was talking about. "Came knocking at 5 a.m. Told me I needed to find you immediately, he had to talk to you…" It was like prying the information from his fingers. I still waited. "He's why I came up to get you that morning." Charlie looked at Edward then. "The morning that _you_ convinced her to sneak out."

"I'm sorry, sir," Edward whispered, as shocked by the admonishment as the rest of us.

"Dad!"

"I don't know, Bella. It was a long time ago. He never came back so I just figured you squared it away."

He took in the rest of the eager faces, no longer attempting to mask their curiosity or unrest. "You're not in some kind of trouble, are you?"

"Dad, please. I need to know what he said."

Charlie's face turned serious.

"He said he was Gary from Chicago and needed to speak with Bella Swan and that it was important. I asked if you were in some kind of trouble, and he said he knew you from school and needed to speak with you."

_Gary_? _From __Chicago?_Nothing in my memory fit that name. Edward, too, seemed puzzled, his face contorting into a thoughtful mask.

"Did he say _anything_ else?"

"He said that if you came home to give you the…"

Charlie trailed off, a moment of clarity finally coming to him.

"The _what_?"

"He had an envelope with him. I think I put it in my jeans… Bella, when I went upstairs to get you and you were gone — I sort of lost it. I was worried sick and then you came home and I just… It slipped my mind. I'm sorry, honey, I'll look for it."

I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. "What was he wearing?" I heard Edward ask from beside me.

I looked at Charlie, waiting for his response. "A shirt. Jeans. Dog tags." After a moment's thought, he said, "You know, Edward, that's a pretty strange question."

Emmett finally let out the laughter he'd been holding in, slamming his fist down on the table. "You should come to dinner more often, Chief Swan," he said, smiling broadly. The room quieted.

"Charlie," I heard Esme say after several minutes. "Would you care for another beer?"

Charlie stood and put his napkin on the table. "I think I'd better head home."

We had a standing arrangement that I was allowed to spend the night on Saturdays, mostly because I was eighteen, but partially because he wanted me to know that he was giving me a chance to regain his trust. He knew I wouldn't be going home with him tonight.

Everyone else rose and followed my father to the door.

"Thanks so much for visiting," Esme chimed, and the Cullens said their goodbyes.

I collapsed into the couch the moment the lock tumbled.

* * *

"Well," Emmett said, plopping down next to me. Edward stood casually in the corner, unbuttoning another button on his sexy shirt. _Save __some __for __me_, I wanted to say. I didn't. "That went well?"

I let my head fall into my hands and, from left field, I started bawling. I don't know if it was the emotions in the room, or the anxiety of the news my dad had thrown on me, but I was certainly having an episode.

I felt cool hands on my neck and immediately thought _Alice_, but as his strong arms pulled me to him, I knew it was _my_ vampire. And damned if anyone else was going to make him theirs.

"Ahh," I groaned, trying to pull it together.

Jasper stood awkwardly, his face a mask of confusion and uncertainty, but his ability making my body relax.

After about five minutes of Edward holding me I was able to sniffle away the last of my outburst and say, "Thanks, guys. I don't know what happened."

"It's an ugly situation," Carlisle hedged, testing the waters. When he was confident that I wasn't going to have another outburst, he said, "We'll work through this. Bella," Carlisle came and took a seat on the other side of me, "did _anything_ your father said spark your memory? Anything at all?"

I'd never even met anyone named Gary. I told him so.

"But if he used a fake name? Or your dad's memory failed? Anything about the description?"

I shrugged. There was nothing out of place.

Beside me, I felt Edward stiffen.

"Edward?" Carlisle saw it too.

Taking a deep breath, Edward said, "I don't… It's… It's probably nothing." He took a pause and we all knew to give him his time, because if he knew this man, it could be huge.

"But… that day… in the woods…" The constant stutters were definitely a nervous habit. I squeezed his hand. He looked at me and suddenly it clicked.

"The guy who left you!"

"What?" Carlisle asked, leaning forward.

"The guy… with the long blonde hair and the dog tags!" Part of me was thrilled to have something, and part of me was petrified of what this might mean.

"That's an awful big leap," Jasper spoke from the corner. It was true enough, but why bring me down?

"Still," Carlisle said, "it's more than we had."

I nodded.

"Carlisle." I swallowed and forced myself to let go of Edward. Carlisle's powerful gaze fell directly on me. I mustered all my resolve and said, with the certainty of an adult making her own choices in her life, "I need you to change me."

His eyes faltered. He must have understood the seriousness of people knocking on my door looking for me, because he said, "If I did this, Bella, you'd be a newborn."

I nodded. That was true. I'd also be better equipped to defend myself.

"And you'd need to be kept under lock and key to keep you from hurting anyone."

I knew that too.

"And you'd never see Charlie again."

That one was harder to cope with, but I'd made up my mind.

Again, I nodded. "I know," I whispered. "I know, and I hate it. But there's no other way…" My voice was a squeak even to my own ears. Charlie. I'd find a way to see him again. Five, ten years down the line. I'd find a way to let him know I was okay.

"It's not something that I can undo. Once it's done, it's done. And it's forever. Are you sure you're ready to make that choice?"

Without hesitation, I said, "Yes."

That's when we heard it. Alice screamed from the kitchen, and something crashed to the floor.

Jasper was the first there, followed by the rest of the vampires, followed by me. Because I didn't have vampire speed. But I would.

"No," Alice whispered, her golden eyes black and heavy. She scanned the room quickly, assertively, until her eyes landed on me. "Take it back."

"What?" I asked, confused. _What?_

"Whatever you decided!" she cried. "You need to take it back _now_."

Carlisle frowned at his eccentric daughter. "Alice, be more specific."

"I don't know. I was washing, cleaning. Watching. And suddenly everything… it changed." Her voice had an edge that told me she'd be having a Bella-style breakdown if she weren't a vampire.

"How did it change?"

"Bella," she cried, running over to me. "Bella is… is… dead." The last word came as a whispered omen. _Dead_. The sound reverberated in my ears. Dead.

"Dead, dead?" Emmett said. "Or only sort of dead."

Rosalie glared at her husband. "Dead, dead, asshole."

"Whatever changed," Alice said. "Whatever you guys decided. They're coming…" Her voice trailed off as she looked into the future again. "They're coming for Edward, and if Bella is a vampire _before_ they get here, they will kill her without hesitation." Her face was contorted and terrified. She swallowed and ran to me, taking my hand. "They'll kill you – you'll be too strong for them to risk keeping alive, Bella. They'll kill you to get him. I just saw it."

"But… but if I'm human…"

"If you're human," she looked once more, "it's… better."

"But if I'm a vampire I can fight –"

"No." Edward said from behind me. "It's no longer an option."

I heaved out a sigh of desperation and frustration as Carlisle officially changed his mind. Again.

She took a brief trip into the future to verify that I was still breathing and when she came back, all she could say was, "I'm sorry."

I nodded, defeated, and turned for the stairs. I was ready for this night to be over. Alice held my hand tight and pulled me into a hug.

"Bella," she whispered, laying her face against my shoulder. "I can't lose you. I know it seems counter-intuitive, but they _will_ kill you if we change you right now." She didn't let me go until I hugged her back, accepting it as the truth. I told her I understood, and even though I didn't really, I knew there wasn't much of a choice.

As I ascended the staircase, she called after me, "You're my very best friend, Bella. I can't lose you. I won't lose you."

* * *

When I woke up, Edward was all wrapped around me and I was all wrapped around him. Good thing Charlie wasn't around.

"Morning," I said, yawning. His returning smile was reserved, which immediately put me on alert. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" He hesitated and my mind reeled with the possibilities. "It's just… It's hard."

I fell back on my pillow and rubbed my eyes, and I felt Edward's cool hand on my stomach. _Oh,__God_, my mind whispered. I didn't think I was ready for this.

"Edward." The blush crept to my cheeks. I figured I'd better get Carlisle or Emmett to have this discussion with him. Maybe it's been too long.

"What?" Edward said, and then he laughed, a real, genuine sound that I'd never heard come from him. "That's not what's hard." And he laughed again. It was a beautiful noise, one with virtually no traces of that boy that was found in the woods. It was freedom, and just hearing it was liberating.

I couldn't imagine how good it must have felt.

I covered my face with my arm and then we were both laughing, and I wanted to pause the moment in time, because already I was wondering: if Edward was not talking about his penis, what else was he talking about?

When our laughter died down, it felt like the air of seriousness had been lifted a little, and I was glad for it.

"It's Carlisle… his thoughts this morning." He looked at me, his eyes showing the signs of worry that I'd noticed.

"What's wrong?" I asked again.

"He's bought this… a thing… to put inside of me."

A tracking device. We'd been toying with the idea ever since Aro of all people suggested it. Last week Carlisle told us that he'd been looking into various models, and apparently this morning he'd decided to purchase one.

"You can tell him 'no,'" I immediately responded. Edward was well within his rights to tell Carlisle it wasn't an option if that were the case.

"Do you… do you think it'll hurt?"

The pain that flashed in his eyes stabbed at me, and I told him I didn't know. Carlisle would be the one with the most answers, and when I suggested we go ask him, Edward was like-minded.

I took a minute to get dressed, brush my teeth and hair, and rub my vampire's shoulders. I wasn't sure if _I__'__d_ be okay with Carlisle causing Edward pain.

_Not__ your __decision __to __make_, the rational part of me chastised.

We knocked at the office door, where Carlisle was sure to be, and he welcomed us in.

"Edward," he said, standing. "I was hoping you'd come."

Edward nodded and sat down in the leather chair, leaving me no where to go but the other side of the room.

From behind his desk, Carlisle retrieved a small silver case. Inside, I could only assume, was the device he wanted to install into my vampire.

"Do you know what this is?"

We nodded in unison and he looked to us individually to confirm.

"I have a contact in New York who acquired this for you. I think it's a good idea, Edward."

Edward nodded.

"_If_ they manage to get you, we'll be able to track you. The important thing to be aware of is that I will never, ever use this if we don't feel you're in danger. Edward, this is a huge concession of freedom, and perhaps a human rights violation as well, but I believe that, as of right now, this is our best shot."

Nod.

Carlisle went into great detail about the material, how the tracking worked, and how we would remove it in a few months. He focused so heavily on it being Edward's choice that I was beginning to think that he wasn't even sure of it himself.

Edward inhaled deeply and puffed out the breath.

"Do you have any questions? Are you okay?"

"Will it hurt?" was all he could ask. I knew it was what he would ask, and that was fine. I had some other ones, though.

"No," Carlisle told him. He pulled out a hypodermic needle that looked so sharp and shiny that it could cut through rock. Yowch. "It's small, and I can inject it into you."

"Where will you put it?" I blurted, forgetting that I was supposed to be waiting my turn.

"Well," he responded, seemingly hesitant. "That's the main problem we're facing. This isn't a fail-safe. It's a long shot. If someone, somehow, gets to you, they are likely to discover a tracking device. I would assume they have precautions in place for things of this nature. Edward," Carlisle put his attention back on my vampire. "If they find this, they will go to any and all lengths to remove it. If they have to cut your body apart, they will find a way. It's not going to hurt going in —"

"— But it will be a bitch coming out." I put my face in my palms.

"Yes." Keeping his eyes on Edward, he said, "I can bury it deep, so hopefully it won't be detected in their scans, but, as I said, it's a long shot."

"How deep?" His voice was soft and contemplative, most of the fear ebbing.

"If I put it into your thigh, it'll be surrounded by muscle. Even still, it's likely to be detected eventually. We can only hope that it'll help us find you."

"Do it."

"Edward, like I said—"

"—I know. It'll hurt if… when… they find it. It's… It'll hurt no matter what." He swallowed then looked at Carlisle, "If they get me. It'll hurt no matter what."

"They won't get you," I said, knowing I was lying and hating myself for it. But they both knew I was lying, too, so I guess it didn't count.

"She's right." Carlisle smiled when he said this, because he was lying, too, but why not?

"And if they do, we'll find you before they touch you." I stood and crossed the room, opting to sit on the arm of his chair instead of in my own little isolated corner.

"Do it," Edward said again.

To his credit, he didn't even flinch.

* * *

As I made it to my truck, my phone vibrated in my pocket.

_Charlie_, the ID flashed.

"Hey, Dad, I'm on my way home."

"Just wanted to let you know that I found that note."

I sat down and turned the engine over, eager for the heat. Was this news that I wanted?

"It says, 'Please contact me immediately.'" He read off the phone number. "And I remembered something else," he said conspiratorially.

"What is it?"

"His name wasn't Gary." Charlie paused, and I could picture him trying to get the name exactly right. "It was Garrett."

* * *

**A/N**: We're getting down to it now. Maybe 5 chapters left? Thanks for reading! (P.S. When I write in italics, ffn likes to take out the spaces. Argh.)


	28. The Suit

**A/N**: Thanks for your reviews :) Thanks to jilburfm for the speedy beta and ocd_indeed for validating.

Edward's grandpa = the scientist who died; Edward's grandma = Emily Masen who was found in the lake.

Edward's dad = died of the flu in 1918; Edward's mom = Elizabeth Masen who died of the flu in 1918.

* * *

**Bella POV**

_The number you have dialed is not in service. Please hang up and try again_.

I slammed the received down, a little too hard maybe, and fell back into Charlie's chair.

The little slip of paper in my hand was mocking me.

I blinked hard, willing the computer to give me more. More of anything.

Truth be told, I'd been through my fair share of searches, coffee and long distance phone calls that morning.

After Charlie read me the note that morning, I'd sped home and raced full speed up the stairs to retrieve it. I'd sat on my bed, staring at it with shaking hands, wondering whether or not to call. If I called, who would answer? What would happen?

I wasn't so concerned about people finding me, since apparently they had already gotten that far. What I was more concerned with was what to do if someone who had information picked up the phone. What questions I needed to ask. Why they came to my house at 6 am.

I'd ended up calling Alice. She always knew what to do, and she didn't hesitate now, either.

"I think you should call," she'd said. I could hear her speaking with her family in the background.

So I did. And when the call had failed, I spared no time booting up my ancient computer. My fingers drummed incessantly on the desk while the internet connected.

My hands were shaky as I entered the phone number, and when the results flashed I panicked a little.

Immediately, I went to my dad. Charlie didn't have to go in on Sundays, but he was behind on paperwork and when faced with my desperate plea to finish my research, he readily agreed.

The number was from Ohio. _Ohio_. There was a bigger picture, and I couldn't seem to calm my racing mind on the drive to the station. For all his silence, Charlie knew something was off. I could tell by the way he threw subtle glances in my direction at times when he didn't think I was paying attention. By the rigidity of his shoulders and the grip of his hands on the wheel. I wasn't giving him enough credit. It made me wonder just how much he'd pieced together.

"Thanks for doing this, Dad," I'd told him as I hopped from the cruiser.

Too casually, he'd said, "No problem, Bells. Anything you need."

And with that, I found myself locked in the police chief's office, calling that phone number one more time, just to make sure.

It was still disconnected, but that wasn't why I'd come anyway.

My hands shook as I pulled up their master database.

Garrett, 513-420-4992. I plugged it in. Nada.

I didn't know how to retrieve phone records, or I'd have done it already. I wasn't opposed to asking Charlie how, but I moved on for the moment. After several fruitless searches, I had one of those brief flashes of brilliance.

In the general search field I typed, _Garrett, Ohio Medical Research Institute_. There were a bazillion hits.

_Think_, I commanded.

I pulled up the criminal records search.

Last name: Blank.

First name: Garrett. I hoped.

Age: Blank.

I jumped down several fields until I found what I was looking for.

Place of last known employment: Ohio Medical Research Institute

After filling out the descriptors as best as I could with what Charlie had told me, I closed my eyes and waited.

When I opened them, there was only one guy staring back at me on the screen.

Garrett Callihan.

Arrested in 1999 for assault. Paid his fines and served one thirty day sentence quietly.

I stared at his picture.

I had no way of verifying if this was my guy. Could be a completely different Garrett, having nothing to do with Forks or vampires or anything else.

There was nothing telling me that the Garrett who contacted me was linked to the lab, and nothing telling me that Garrett Callihan was the one who contacted me.

I printed the page in front of me and closed out of the program.

Carlisle's number was a speed dial in my phone, one which I never hesitated to use.

"Bella?" His voice was surprised on the other end.

"Hey," I said, rocking the chair back.

There was a pause while he waited for me to speak before he gave in. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. I umm — I wanted to call and tell you something." Pause.

"I'm all ears." Genuine interest colored his tone.

"I'm telling Charlie." When he still didn't respond, I continued. "Not everything, but I found someone who I think might be this guy — the guy who came to my house. On the police database. And the only way I can think to confirm it is to ask him."

"What have you found?"

What I love about Carlisle is he doesn't question decisions before having all the facts. I knew that he'd hear what I had to say and give me a well-founded opinion.

"This guy, Garrett Callihan, came on up on the list. I mean, I'm sure other people work there, but the number he gave my dad was from the same city as the place that Edward's grandpa spoke at… and then… I don't know, Carlisle. It just feels like it could be something."

"Garrett?"

"Yeah, Dad said he got the name wrong at dinner. Anyway, I looked up the number online and it was from Cincinnati, and that's where this lab is —"

"Bella," he interrupted. "I trust your judgment. Charlie is the only person who saw this man, so it seems like the logical next step. Just be ready to answer questions."

"I know… I am." I wasn't, but Carlisle's lie detector only worked in person, so I was in the clear.

"Okay." After a pause he added, "Thank you for calling me. I think you're making a good choice."

When Charlie walked into his office, I said a quick 'goodbye' and stood.

"Dad." I jumped in head first and pushed the paper to him. "Is this the man who came looking for me?"

Charlie didn't seem shocked, but he definitely didn't seem happy. "Is this what you've been up to?" He paused and I didn't answer. So much for preparedness. "Bella, if something's going on, you need to tell me."

"Please," I pressed, pushing it into his hands. "I just need to know if this is him."

Charlie's eyes met mine and he studied them, trying to find honesty or secrets or whatever police officers think they can pull from your irises.

"Yeah," he finally said. "Looks like him."

Looking down, I took the paper back and put it in my pocket. A heavy hand on my shoulder stopped me in my tracks.

"Bella." I fumbled, before making eye contact again. "If this guy is threatening you, or harming you or — or Edward," he added reluctantly, "in any way, you need to tell me now. This is what police officers do, Bells."

When I didn't respond, he added, "This is what _dads_ do."

My body acted on its own volition and hugged him tightly.

"I'm fine. We're fine. I just — I just wanted to know who he was is all."

"You know I trust you. You _know_ I do. Bella." He held my shoulders a little too tightly, pulling me back and forcing me to keep his gaze. "_Who_ is this man?"

There was at least one moment there where I faltered, wanting to spill my guts to my old man. Wanting to tell him everything, from James attacking me, to the Cullens saving me, to finding Edward. To my fear of losing Edward. To my fear of losing everything. I think he saw it in my eyes, just like police officers do.

They see straight into your damn soul.

Like an idiot, I started crying.

"Baby…" Charlie never called me 'baby.' "Who is this man?"

I sniffled and stepped back. "I don't know. I just — I don't think he's up to any good."

"What can I do? What kind of trouble are you in?"

"It's not really _me_, Dad. I just… I don't know."

"Alright." His voice resolved, Charlie held his hand out for the paper. Confused, I pulled it from my pocket and gave it up.

Then Charlie did something that shocked the hell out of me: he sat down in front of his computer. Back straight. Jaw tight. All business.

"Dad…"

"Have a seat." He was using his policeman voice on me, so instinctively I did as I was told. "What do you need to know?"

"Uhh…" Well. Is he a good guy? Is he a bad guy? Is he in the market of brutalizing vampires? "What does he do?"

Charlie narrowed his eyes at the screen and pecked away on the keyboard. After a minute or two, he said, "Well, you know he works at a lab in Ohio." He looked at me. "Ohio? What kind of trouble are you in in _Ohio_?"

"None."

He nodded and made a disapproving grunt, mumbling something about locking me in my room until I was twenty-five under his breath.

I cracked a smile, as was his intention.

He clicked his tongue as he searched, finally telling me, "He worked security at a hospital for twelve years. In 2005 he started at the lab, which is where he's still employed."

"What does he do there?"

"Research Assistant. Division: Genetics. Hmm." His eyes narrowed further and he hunched in, reading. "Everything looks good, Bells. Only prior was the assault in '99. Other than that, squeaky clean record. No family. No permanent address on file. Huh. He's like a nomad. Lots of phone numbers and previous addresses. What's this guy up to?"

"Nothing that I know of," I said, shrugging. "Just looking."

"I'll bet." He walked to the printer and waited, handing me a stack three papers thick as they came out. One was information on the lab. Phone numbers, different divisions, that sort of thing.

One was a profile on Garrett Callihan, different from that one that I'd found.

The third was a list of people who worked at the lab.

"Anything else?"

I wanted to ask about Edward's grandfather. With Charlie at my disposal, I might be able to pull more information. But it felt like I was bringing him in too deep. If I told him about Edward's grandfather, he'd probably eventually find out about Edward. And Edward's death. In 1918.

I shook my head reluctantly.

"Just so we're clear, Bella," Charlie said, standing and moving to the door. "What happened here was a far cry from legal. Anyone finds out I handed you those and I'm looking at _years_ in prison. When you're ready to tell me what's going on, I'm listening."

We drove home in relative silence, the sound of Charlie humming with the radio the only noise.

* * *

"ZERO." I said into the phone. Loudly. _CLEARLY._

Edward sat on the bed beside me, mostly amused by my inability to navigate an automated phone system.

When I finally reached a receptionist, I just about died of relief. And that was supposed to be the easy part.

"Ohio Medical Research Institute, this is Debra speaking, how may I direct your call?"

"I need to speak with Garrett in Genetics," I told her.

"Please hold."

Edward squeezed my hand and looked at me, questions endless in his eyes. _I'm on hold_, I mouthed, though I wasn't sure he knew what that meant.

"Genetics, this is Mae, how can I assist you?"

"Hi!" I said, a little too enthusiastically. "I need to speak with someone and I was hoping you could connect me?"

"I'll see what I can do. What's the name?" She was perky and robotic but it put me at ease.

"Garrett Callihan."

"Sure, one moment."

The elevator music came back and I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, Mr. Callihan is no longer with us."

"What?"

"I said, 'Mr. Callihan —'"

"No, I heard that part. What do you mean 'no longer with you?'"

"I'm afraid I can't release that information." Her voice lost that robotic edge.

"Well, can you give me a number I can reach him at? It's important."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Swan. I'm afraid I can't provide details about former employees."

"Please," I said.

Annoyance seeped into her tone. "I can get you a manager, but he'll give you the same answer." I knew it was true.

Frustrated, I hung up the phone.

Edward looked shaken. "Sorry," I said, immediately assuming it was another failed effort that shook him now.

"How…" he asked, shaking his head. Searching my eyes. He looked at the phone and back at me.

"What?" I fell into the bed and turned to face him. "What's wrong?"

"She called you — Ms. Swan. How?"

"What? I… uh… what?" When he didn't answer, it clicked. "I must have told her."

"No."

"Caller ID? It's this thing —"

"I know what it is. It wasn't… it wasn't that. She _knew_."

I hadn't noticed, but now that he mentioned it, the way my name rolled off her tongue. The way she casually threw it around like she knew exactly who she was talking to. She _did_ know who I was. And we were in a world of trouble.

That was the first night that the Cullens put us on 24-hour surveillance. Alice and Emmett were the ones with the first shift.

* * *

When the weekend finally rolled around, I was beyond grateful.

Alice's visions were changing. A lot.

All week they'd kept me updated, a different Cullen keeping a watchful eye on my house while my father and I slept. Every day Alice would have something different to report, which frankly worried me more than anything else.

With every shift in outcome, I was reminded that Alice's visions were subjective and that nothing she saw could be counted on. So, while the ribbons weren't yet on the trees, that didn't mean Edward was safe for even a single minute.

And while Alice saw Charlie happy two months down the line, that didn't mean that he really _would_ be happy in two months.

Her visions just didn't _mean_ anything, and while I loved her, I knew that as long as things were constantly changing, we couldn't rely on anything. It was just a reminder that they could come at any moment, and at any moment I could _lose him_.

The thought got me out of bed with a start on Saturday morning, quickly dressing and sparing no time.

"Morning," Charlie said from behind the newspaper as I pulled my keys off the hook and tucked my jeans into my snow boots.

"Hi, Dad."

"Going to visit the Cullens?"

"Yeah, I'm spending the night."

"Alright, Bella." His voice was empty.

I turned and walked back to him, hugging him and telling him "I love you," because I did and because I could see the lines from the constant concern deepening on his face.

"Love you, too." He kissed my cheek and I left, promising myself that tomorrow I'd tell Charlie what was up. He didn't deserve this.

I trampled through the early snow and to my truck, smiling at the snow chains that he'd put on the tires while I slept. Snow wasn't really high on my list of worries, but Charlie had my best interest at heart, for which I was grateful.

I drove down the bumpy, winding road to the mansion, knowing that somewhere along side of me was Emmett, racing my old truck.

I'd have felt better if we had a plan. We'd talked about running and ruled it out, because as long as Edward was alive, they'd come for him. We needed to deal with it if he was ever going to be okay.

We decided to hide him at one point, truly made the decision to flee to Isle Esme, but Alice told us it was useless. They'd find him there. We needed to fight this fight, and we might as well have home court advantage.

The Cullens tried to convince me to go back to Florida, but without knowing exactly when the attack would come, they couldn't really banish me forever. We ended up deciding to wait until at least winter break, when the ribbons went up. We'd deal with my leaving then.

Still, on Carlisle's insistence, I now knew how to aim and shoot a gun, and was perpetually breaking about seven local, state and federal laws by carrying a concealed weapon.

I didn't think I'd ever be able to use it, and I didn't really want to carry it, but when I told him so he gave me that look that said _please, don't argue_, and said that he wanted to take as many precautions as possible.

The inevitability of the confrontation was giving me heart palpitations.

No sooner was the key out of the ignition than Emmett opened the door for me, escorting me out.

"At your service," he said, taking my hand.

I lost my footing on the icy ground (par for the course) and would have gone down hard, had he not been there guiding me.

"Smooth." His tone was playful.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled, smiling in spite of myself. It was a beautiful winter day in Forks, Washington, and I hated it.

We traipsed up the driveway and into the house, shaking snow and water and ice off of our bodies the whole way.

"Hey guys," I said, walking in on what seemed to be a pretty relaxed Saturday morning. Rosalie made her way to her husband and brushed the leftover flurries out of his hair.

"Bella!" Alice said, as excited for me to spend the weekend there as I was. She squeezed me tightly and pulled me into the living room. No Edward.

I sat next to her and made customary conversation with the family, hoping that Edward would come down. He still didn't like being around the family, which was understandable, but he was more tolerant now than ever.

Still, he preferred the solitude of his bedroom, opting out of family time whenever possible.

After what seemed like years, I felt his arm snake around my waist as he took his seat next to me.

"Adorable," Emmett commented from the corner, smirking at Edward.

Surprisingly, the look that Edward shot back was just as playful. I tried to hide my reaction, because I didn't want to ruin the moment. Because it was amazing, and it was something I'd never, ever seen from Edward.

"Boys, boys," Rose said, as if it were commonplace. "Behave."

What was happening? Edward and Emmett bonding? I squeezed his hand and tried to keep the crap-eating smile off my face. It was embarrassing.

But I loved him. And, looking around the room, I realized I wasn't the only one. Sometime over the past three months, the family had begun to think of him as their own.

No one ever moved to touch Edward. And no one ever made any sudden movements around him. And everyone walked on eggshells in his presence. But looking around the room, I saw every single person's face alight with something that _had _to be love. And they were putting their lives on the line to save his.

It elated me and it scared the crap out of me at the same time.

But mostly it elated me. I felt a small comfort in knowing that these vampires were here to protect him, no matter what.

"We're going to hunt this afternoon," Alice told us, looking at Edward. "Do you want to come?"

Edward shook his head, as he usually did. He'd never gone on one of their trips, instead opting to hunt by himself. He was slowly getting better at it, his nerves calming and his instincts kicking it. He had only hunted a few times, but already the blood on his shirt and face was minimal upon returning. I'd only gone that first time; I think Edward found alone time to be cathartic in a way.

"No thanks," Edward said, a familiar tremble running through his body. The shaking had become second nature — something I didn't question. Something that just existed, and probably always would.

Alice looked to Emmett next. "I'm out, too," he replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "Went on Wednesday. I'm good."

It was the truth, but he'd have been out either way. He was on babysitting duty, and he was nothing if not responsible.

"Alright," Carlisle said. He stood, the rest of Cullens mimicking his action. "We'll be back before dark."

He hugged me and rested his hand on Edward's shoulder briefly, which caused a visible flinch. Carlisle looked apologetically to him and Edward nodded, smiling. Acknowledging that it was okay.

When they had all cleared out, and it was just Emmett, my vampire, and me, he plopped down on the other side.

"What do you guys wanna do today?" he asked, bumping his shoulder into mine. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. "I'll get the booze if you get the pizza."

Ignoring him, Edward and I lay back on the couch, my head against his shoulder, as Emmett got his remote and turned on the XBOX.

"The idea," he said, not sparing us a glance as he promptly began blasting people to bits, "is to kill everyone."

"Shocker," I teased, nudging him with my ankle.

He looked at me with narrowed eyes. "It's an art form, Bella. Do not mock."

As his enemies went down, I noticed the little bar at the bottom emptying too. I nodded toward it. "What's that mean, Ace?"

"It means these bastards outnumber me." It wasn't true. Emmett was getting destroyed and he was most certainly _not_ outnumbered. Edward eventually leaned forward on his elbows, scrutinizing every move.

"Fuck!" Emmett shouted as his screen blacked out. He looked at my slyly. "Minor mishap."

He stood, and I expected that meant he was done, but instead he retrieved the second remote and handed it to Edward.

Edward stared at it. He looked back to Emmett, then back to the remote. He wasn't confused as to what it was, but more as to why was it being handed to him. I nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it, little brother," Emmett said, excited, and Edward took it.

"The green button shoots. That's all you need to know."

I'm sure there was more to it, but when the game started again, Edward seemed to hold his own.

His brow was furrowed in concentration and I found myself laughing along with them as they died and restarted and died again, because it was the most _normal_ interaction I'd ever seen Edward engage in.

When they finally lost all hope of ever moving past the fourth level, Edward and I went outside. Of course, Emmett could hear everything going on for miles, so it wasn't a safety concern, and I just wanted out of the house.

I was feeling light-hearted and jovial, for the first time in a long time, and I wanted to share it with him.

So I put on my boots and we lay on the ground, and I showed him how to make snow angels.

Mine looked sort of stupid, but his was huge and beautiful next to it, and when we stood to admire them, he pulled me close and kissed me.

"I love you," he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. And my god, he said it. _He said it_.

I wanted to scream it to the world, but I settled for matching his whisper. "I love you, too."

And because I could think of nothing safe that I wanted to do more in that moment, I bent down, made a snowball, and smashed it on top of his head.

Then I ran.

Edward's throws were wimpy, even for a human, and I felt them adjust as he tried to figure out his strength. I didn't hold back as I slammed him with snowballs. After a while, when I felt my body growing cold and weak, we opted to sit on the swing and watch the flurries.

Like any good, solid romantic moment, it was doomed before it even began.

I felt, rather than heard, when the most vicious sound he'd ever made rose in his chest. It was more dangerous than any growl I'd witnessed in all our time together.

It sent a chill straight through my body, and in an instant, we were both up.

"Get inside," he said, his voice low and commanding. Emmett was by our sides in a flash, and I felt my whole body start to shake.

I did what they told me, running.

I hadn't even made it to the door when the first men showed up, and I didn't look back. I was the weak link. I grabbed the gun from my bag on my way in and clutched it tightly, hiding and hating myself for it. I wanted to be out there. To be protecting Edward, because they were _here_. My head was screaming. I couldn't think.

I needed to be outside.

I felt tears streaming down my face but I was shaking too hard and my body wasn't working, and they were here for Edward.

My hands reached for the door, reached for the fight, but I knew if I went out there I was as good as dead, and I wouldn't do any good.

I felt my heart pounding in my chest and I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I fumbled for my cell phone and called Alice. There was no answer. I was pretty sure she knew already, because she was _always_ looking these days, but what if she didn't? I was panicking in a big way.

I fumbled for the four key, desperate to get Carlisle. Any of them. I swallowed back a scream as I felt a gloved hand cover my mouth, the phone dropping to the floor.

With my back held against his body it wasn't easy to get a shot, but I wasn't going down without a fight. I aimed the gun at where my approximation of his hip would be and pulled the trigger, my captor going down but not all the way. I realized it was a mistake, that Edward and Emmett would hear it and change their tactic; that everyone in a mile radius would hear it and know my exact location.

But they weren't after me, were they?

So maybe it was a good thing.

His hand still wrapped around my head, I shot another man in the stomach before my gun was knocked from my grip.

I kicked and fought and used everything I had, but I was being dragged out of the house and into the yard, and there wasn't a damned thing I could do about it.

"Stop," a hard male voice commanded. I didn't. I'd be damned if I'd ever stop fighting for Edward. It was then that I felt the barrel of the gun pressed against my temple.

When I looked around, time stood still.

There were bodies everywhere. _Everywhere_.

I spotted Emmett, his eyes wide and panicked, and then Edward, with a similar expression. _What?_ I wanted to ask them. _Why aren't you fighting?_

And then I realized, with a start, that it was because there were _at least_ ten big guns poised and ready to fire. And this would be fine, except every single one of them was aimed directly at me.

"Kill them," I whispered, and the one holding me laughed.

"That's unlikely."

I could see Edward swallow, the hope and light gone from his face. I closed my eyes. I couldn't see this.

"Please," I pleaded to my vampire, but I knew he wouldn't. Over before it started.

"Think very hard about what you do next, Edward." I opened my eyes just enough to see that the voice came from a man, fully suited, leaning against a big black truck. "My men will not hesitate to shoot. When they do shoot, they do not miss."

I found Edward again, because how could I not? My eyes were full of tears, but strangely, some of the panic had left. Because it was over, and we'd lost. Now it was time for damage control. I knew what needed to happen to keep Edward safe, and in that moment, I was willing to do it. If I took myself out of the picture, they'd fight. They'd fight and they'd win, because human beings cannot control vampires.

"Try it," the man whispered in my ear.

"Don't," Edward begged. To me. "Don't do it. I can't… I can't get through this without you."

His pleading eyes held mine. "If you go, I'll follow."

And we both knew then that it wasn't an option. Because he wouldn't risk me, and I wouldn't risk him, and we were at the end of the line. I felt my heart give a little and choked back a sob.

"Let's go."

The men pushed me forward, keeping their guns trained on me all the while. Emmett stood helplessly, having no choice but to let them take us.

Because we all knew I'd be dead if anyone did try anything. And I'd be dead, dead. Not just sort of dead.

"Edward." The man gestured to the back of the van.

Edward stood, frozen, his face a mask of terror and despair, silently pleading with this man. I could see his hands trembling and they hung loosely at his sides. God. He wasn't ready for this. He'd never be ready for this.

"Let him go," I cried, a last ditch effort.

"Let him go?" The man chuckled. "Let him go." His voice was mocking as he paused and approached me, not even glancing at Edward. "You have no idea. Not one fucking clue. How many years, how much money – all the lives that went into your boyfriend. Let him go? Over your dead fucking body."

He and Edward made eye contact then, reinforcing the not-so-subtle threat.

As they pushed me in, I prayed for anything to happen. For the rest of the Cullens to come. For an explosion to divert attention. For them to just shoot me, letting Emmett and Edward finish the job they started. I took one more backward glance at the men littering the yard. My boys were doing a bang up job until I got in the way.

They pushed me down and kept their weapons on me.

Edward entered the van shortly after, immediately seeking me out.

"Please," I whispered, turning to my captor. But there was nothing I could do.

The last one to enter was the man. "You're a work of art, Edward," he said, his voice soft. He took a seat next to my vampire, and the jolt that went through his body was visible. He swallowed. "Yeah. That's what I thought." The man looked at me, his dark eyes searching. "We're riding to a landing strip. There, we'll get on a plane. When we land," he turned his attention back to Edward, "we'll get you set up. I can even get you your old room back, if you'd like." There was humor in his voice. He was toying with my vampire, and he was going to die for it. I'd see to that. If it was the last thing I ever did on this planet, he would die for it.

He very seriously studied Edward, who curled his body up, despite his unwillingness to give in.

"If you take a single fucking step out of line," he leveled his eyes with mine, "she is dead. Do you understand?"

He waited endlessly until Edward reluctantly nodded.

"You know the rules, Edward. Follow them and she'll walk. Hell, they'll all walk. Break them, and every single…_ person_," he spat the word, "will be ripped apart and burned. Understood?"

Edward closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

_Be strong_. It was the first moment since the day I sneaked into that basement that I truly wished he could read my mind. I'd tell him everything I felt. I'd tell him how much I loved him, and that I regretted nothing.

And I'd tell him that we'd be okay. Because wherever we were going, we were going together. And no matter how bad it got, the Cullens would find us.

We weren't nameless faces missing from our beds. We had people fighting for us. We had each other. We could make it through whatever was to come.

"Edward," I whispered, and his eyes found mine. The despondence that I was met with was enough to diminish my resolve.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed.

"It'll be okay."

"Enough," The man with the suit spoke up, shooting me a warning look. Edward's attention was diverted.

But I knew what I was facing and there was a very real chance I wouldn't get to tell him again. So I opted not to heed his warning, and when my vampire's dark eyes finally met mine again, I smiled. "I love you. It'll be okay."

The man in the suit nodded to someone behind me and something crashed down on my head. My world went black.

* * *

**A/N**: Reviews are loved. Cliffhangers are abundant.


	29. The Lab

**A/N: **So much thanks to jilburfm for the beta!**  
**

* * *

**Carlisle POV**

"What do you mean, you _thought this might happen_?" Emmett was furious. I couldn't blame him. I couldn't blame any of them. Hell, when I thought about it, _I _was a little furious myself.

"I didn't know until this morning, but I saw it. When we were at the table before Bella came over." Alice began recalling it once more.

"And you didn't — you didn't think it was important to tell me? To tell _anyone?_"

She looked as though she were about to cry, if such an impossibility existed. As it went, however, Jasper was taking on the brunt of the panic in the room. Apparently Emmett's rage was a little out of his league.

"Did you even tell _him?_" My son was bellowing. His hand came down on the counter, a spider web of cracks weaving themselves from the point of impact. Esme palmed her eyes, defeated. _How had it come to this?_

"Of course I told him," Alice cried. "Listen —"

"No, you listen! Bella and Edward — they're gone. They're gone and who knows what could be happening to them."

I sat in the corner, willing the computer into submission. With every passing moment my hope of pinpointing Edward dwindled. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to spend making decisions. This was our best shot, and we took it.

"Let's go," I commanded, when the little red dot finally appeared. The explanation would have to wait. I wasn't confident that the tracking device would remain inside Edward for any extended length of time; I could only hope that it was still in place for the moment.

Emmett was the first by my side, with Alice quickly tailing. I transferred the data to my cell phone and opted to go by foot. We'd likely be spotted, but we were fastest that way. No one would be able to recognize us at the pace we'd be moving.

The phone showed Edward at a private landing strip just outside of town, mere minutes away by foot. If they were still at the strip, they likely wouldn't be there long, and if they managed to board a plane before we arrived, retrieving them would become infinitely more difficult.

I didn't wait for my family. Giving them the location, I took off like a shot. Emmett was the only one who managed to keep up, but I knew the others were behind us somewhere. I heard nothing but the constant rustle of the leaves, the rocks biting at our legs and the low growl coming from my son's chest.

I echoed his sentiment.

Bella. _Bella_.

Countless times I had promised Charlie that no harm would come to her under my watch, and now it had, and Alice _knew. _Christ. I pushed the thought out. We'd deal with it _after_. Right now the first priority was to get to that landing strip.

The trip wasn't long enough to really let my thoughts run away with me, and before I even realized it, we'd reached our destination. Emmett and I looked around frantically, finding nothing. I gripped the phone tightly. My vision was blurring, panic settling in, a deep-seeded fear of the unknown. The little blinking light was somewhere in the area. I looked to the sky, listening for a recently departed plane. I heard nothing.

"Fuck!" Emmett shouted, his temper having long gotten the best of him.

Slowly the family was catching up and stopping. "It's not here," Alice said sadly. _Had she known this too?_ I thought bitterly. The taste was ugly and I tried to let it go, but she saw it. Her expression carried the weight of the world, remorse and regret coloring her features. Her hand twitched as she reached for me but she held back at the last moment.

I found myself reaching for her, then. Alice would explain, and I would make myself understand.

At human speed, we followed the blinking dot until we were on top of it. We looked around, all of us, but saw nothing. Quietly, Alice kept walking.

_Where was she walking_? I wanted to follow, but instead left her alone in her desolation. When it was apparent that she was making a straight line to the dumpster, I nodded, closing my eyes. The phone dropped from my shaking hands, and no one bothered to stop it. I swallowed and let my head fall back, looking at the sky.

I knew what was in that dumpster as well as everyone else did. They were gone.

Still, she pulled it out, proof of our failed protection.

We stood in a loose circle, looking at the device or not looking, in some cases, before finally Emmett turned around and walked in the same direction we had come from. We followed loosely, the rift in the family not doing anything for morale.

We needed to pull it together, and in a big way.

* * *

**Bella POV**

Black spots danced before me as my eyes fluttered open, but I knew immediately I wasn't alone. The thought was both panic-inducing and oddly comforting.

The floor beneath me was cold and hard and white, I saw, as I lay on my stomach. All white.

I pushed myself onto my elbows and my vision swam. Instantly I knew my body wasn't ready to be vertical, but what choice did I have?

I moaned and pushed myself up further. All of my body parts seemed to be intact. I wasn't in my clothes, but I thankfully wasn't naked. White linen covered my body, the kind that you'd see on a patient. Around my wrist was a hospital band. I narrowed my eyes, rotating it. It looked terribly familiar, a twin to the one which we'd found on Edward. This was bad.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm terribly sorry about all this." My mysterious companion spoke from somewhere behind me. I turned my head and took him in.

It was the man from the van; I recognized him immediately. He sat casually on the floor, his black suit contrasting with all the white, browsing flippantly through a manila folder.

His shoes were shiny, polished to a tee and very expensive looking. Every button of his crisp white shirt was buttoned, disappearing beneath a tie that probably cost my dad's entire yearly salary. _Charlie_.

_How much time had passed?_ I got myself upright and scurried backward, as far as my body would let me go until the cold tile wall obstructed my path.

My captor watched with weary benevolence. It was fake, and I knew it, but my heart ached to trust him. He had a manner about him which made me double think what I knew to be the truth.

"You have to understand, Isabella," he said, setting the open file on his lap. Automatically I wanted to correct him. It's just Bella, I wanted to say. But this man was not my friend, and he was not my grandpa, and _he_ was doing something bad to my vampire. This was the man, I knew with every fiber of my being. My eyes narrowed, but it didn't give him pause. "I never wanted this for you."

"How do you know who I am?" was the first thing my croaky voice whispered. The Cullens would be on their way. Any minute they'd storm through those doors and save us. Us. Edward. Before he had a chance to answer, I was on my feet, immediately regretting the quick movements when my head revolted. "Where's Edward?"

"One question at a time." He regarded my carefully. "I understand that this must be a scary time for you. I can assure you that Edward is safe now, where he belongs."

Tears sprung to my eyes, because he wanted me to trust him and I wanted to trust him and I knew that I couldn't and _God, where was Edward?_

"Please," I whispered. "Please let me see him."

"Of course you understand why that's not an option." I looked blankly, not understanding. What could I do to Edward? What could I do to anyone? "He's dangerous. He has _always_ been dangerous. He always _will be_ dangerous. That monster is not meant to be roaming freely among our kind."

"I just want to see him," I said. "Just for a minute."

Ignoring me completely, he spoke again. "The question becomes, what do we do with _you_?" The man stood and my heart jumped in my chest a little bit, because that was the question for me, too. But he'd promised Edward I'd be safe. Would he keep that promise?

"Quite the group of friends you've established, aren't they? A very talented circle." He rifled through a few papers and produced the one he sought. I could see Alice's yearbook picture, next to one I didn't recognize.

He made his way over to me and I cowered back, hating myself for it. His predatory gaze traveled from my head to my toes, causing my arms to wrap themselves tightly around my body. Offering myself some semblance of protection.

"The Cullens are good people."

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that point; it's moot regardless. I've no interest in them at this time — well, maybe the fortune teller, but honestly, the odds of capturing a live vampire?" He chuckled. "I'd sooner be face up in a sewer, my neck ripped out and my blood running dry."

He leveled his eyes with mine.

"Because that's what these _people_ do, you realize? Maybe not your Cullens; but the race is vile. And the only hope we have of maintaining control over this world is by first controlling _them_. Or eliminating them all together. I assume you see the waste there, though."

"You'll never eliminate them," I said resolutely.

"Mmm." He backed away, walked to the door and spoke. I didn't hear what he said. "Perhaps you're right on that point. Can you imagine, though, a world where _humans_ controlled them? So much could be accomplished. No more men lost in war, no more families torn apart by violence. We've started something here, young lady, and we're not going to throw it away on a selfish child's love story."

"You'll never control them. How could you? Starve them to death and then what? As soon as they feed they'll kill you."

"I have evidence to the contrary. Perhaps one day you'll see."

A light overhead flashed red, the man gestured to enter, and the door opened. Two new men, complete with mad-scientisty lab coats, entered, pushing a small cart with a briefcase-looking thing on it. They gave me a once-over and left.

His exaggerated sigh was very, very sad. Fake.

"It isn't always so bad," he said. "Edward's case was special. He was our first success, back before I was even born. I promise you, it will be different."

"Different for who?"

"For you, of course."

I felt my hands shaking and wrung them, willing them to stop. The threat was implicit, and I looked around the room frantically. There had to be a way to stop this.

I fingered my pockets, looked myself over for any weapons. Nothing. I felt myself breathing hard.

"You don't have to do this," I said, backing as far away as the room would allow. It didn't put much space between us.

"I don't see another choice." He keyed in a code and the case opened, revealing what I dreaded might be inside. Three syringes, full of something clear that I could only guess the identity of, sat looming innocently inside the velvet container. "If I freed you, I've no doubt that you'd find your way back in." He stood, looking at the syringes. "If I kill you, that'd be murder." As an afterthought, he added, "And, although we have the vampire secured now, I'm sure we could find more uses for you as far as he is concerned."

He pulled out the syringe and tapped on it, examining its contents. "It's not our policy to keep humans in our facility. It's illegal, for one, not to mention…_ inhumane_." He started making his way to me, and I recoiled. "This is the only way, Isabella. Surely you've known that. There was never any other outcome. It was always this, and that was _your_ decision."

I moved to the other corner when he approached. "Team," he said, his voice clear and level. The men reentered and I made a run for the door.

I didn't stand a chance, and as soon as I heard the door click shut, I stopped. Three to one. I wasn't above begging.

"Please," I said again, but it was sort of futile. Would it not be better this way? It was by no means ideal, but if I stayed human, I was as good as dead or worse. As a vampire, I stood a chance. My head told me I didn't want this, but then, isn't it exactly what I wanted?

In the end, though, it was out of my hands. These were the cards fate dealt me, and when those two men closed in, wrapped their hands tightly around my arms, I knew that fighting was useless.

I did it anyway.

* * *

**Alice POV**

"So you knew it was coming." It wasn't a question or an accusation. It was what it was. Carlisle seemed more curious about the reason.

I nodded.

I did know. And so did Edward. That morning, I'd seen it. I'd seen them come and take him away when we were hunting.

I'd gone upstairs and into his room, and the look on his face told me he'd seen it too. Of course he had.

"We can stop it," I'd told him. "We'll stay and we'll fight."

As soon as I'd said it, I looked again. The problem was, as we both knew, that our decision to stay changed the future again.

Someone was waiting in the wings, biding their time and ready to strike. If it wasn't now, when would it be? What it had come down to was, if we stayed, they'd hold back. The assault would come another time.

A time we might not expect it.

"Tensions have been running so high," I told the family now. "We saw it, and we knew that we wanted to end it. That one way or another, things had to change."

I looked around at all the faces, ranging from angry to sad to downright hopeless.

"Bella was never part of the equation. We looked. We looked a dozen times, making sure she'd stay safe. We wanted to send her away, to keep her from coming. But every time we made that decision, it changed again. You have to understand," I whispered. But they didn't. No one would understand except me and Edward, and he wasn't here. "It's no way to live. There was no way for Edward to heal without —"

"Without the threat being gone," Carlisle finished. "You attempted to take control of a doomed situation." He nodded, throwing the idea around in his head. Except it had gone terribly wrong. "To let them have him on our terms."

I nodded. When we'd seen the vision, we'd known immediately that it was hopeless. It was Edward who'd suggested letting them have him. I'm not sure if he expected me to agree, or if he was just being angsty, but the more we'd considered it, the more necessary it seemed.

"But Bella!" Emmett said, more weary now than angry. He sat on the same couch that Bella and Edward had laughed on hours earlier.

"She was never supposed to be part of it," I told him. I crossed the room quickly and fell to my knees, taking his hands in mine and pleading with him. "They wouldn't have come if she wasn't there, but it would have just been another time. Another place. _Nothing we were doing was stopping it_. It was… it was destroying him. Us. Every waking moment we were panicked. Bella wasn't supposed to be involved this afternoon," I said again. I felt a stab at my heart because somewhere along the line, something got botched. "Some last minute decision? They saw her and they took her and that was that. But we're going to get them back."

When they'd taken Bella and Edward, Emmett didn't have a choice but to let them. He sat on the porch while they picked up their team, which is where we found him later. We hadn't strayed far, and I'd been watching closely, but the decision to take Bella… It was as if they knew about me. They had to have known about me.

We heard the sounds of footfalls outside and every single one of them was standing, ready to take on whatever threat was out there.

I remained seated on the floor, staring into an empty couch, the smell of Bella that I knew I'd never smell again still potent in the air. How had things come this far?

"I'm sorry," said Carlisle from the doorway. "You've got the wrong address."

He didn't of course. He knew exactly where he was. Four months ago he'd dropped a vampire in our backyard, begging us to find him. Friend or foe? I wondered. We'd find out soon.

"Carlisle Cullen, I presume?"

I could practically see Carlisle's face, even though we were turned in opposite directions.

"Are you from the hosp …" Carlisle's voice trailed off. He must have taken note of the man's long, blond hair. Perhaps the dog-tags that hung loosely around his neck, or the accent that screamed 'Chicago.'

The sound of nothingness is a strange one. But that's what I heard as everyone must have realized who was here. Probably I should have stopped what was about to happen, but I couldn't move. I'd never smell her again. I might never _see_ her again. And it was my fault.

In a rare moment of complete loss of control, Carlisle wound his hands tightly around Garrett's throat, pulling him into the house and catapulting him against the foyer wall. I laid my head down on the cushion, watching the fight before it happened, smelling my sweet Bella. I needed to pull it together.

For a brief moment, I wandered into Edward's future. Instantly I pulled back, though, not having the stomach for it. We'd find them. I. I would find them.

"_What have you done?" Carlisle bellows._

Before the vision had played out fully I could hear it beginning. It was like an ominous echo of noise, disturbing my grieving.

Carlisle was gentle with him. More gentle than the other boys would have been, but still far more animalistic than I'd ever seen him. With one last deep, deep breath, I stood. I approached them with caution and our father's fingers tightened around the man's neck.

"Let him go," I said, stepping between the two. Carlisle did so without question, implicitly trusting me even after all that I'd done. After I'd failed this family in the worst way. His eyes lost a bit of that wild edge. The human gasped and sputtered, falling weakly to his knees and holding his throat gingerly.

"Tell me where they are." Carlisle's voice was nothing more than a whisper of fury. A threat of things to come. Was he capable of them? I couldn't yet say. I was confident that Garrett would talk before such measures were necessary.

"They're in Ohio," Garrett said. "You're not asking the right questions."

Surprisingly, it was Emmett who first took my side, holding off an enraged family of vampires.

"My name's Garrett," the man said, "And I'm here as a friend."

Jasper nodded, sensing the truth to his words.

"You left him here," I said, an affirmation.

He nodded. "Edward has been a part of something ugly for too long."

Finally, Carlisle stepped forward, helping Garrett to his feet and ushering him into the living room. He graciously accepted water and sat on the couch, already overpowering Bella's smell. I regretted the loss instantly.

"When I got him out of there… he was a mess." Garrett spoke directly to Carlisle, either sensing or knowing that he was the heart of our operation. "He wouldn't — he wouldn't let me put clothes on him. He wouldn't let me touch him. We had to drive the whole way, days in the car with a shaking vampire in the backseat growling. It was a disaster. But I knew if he had a shot, it was here."

His eyes filled with tears, genuine grief over what was happening. "You need to get him this time, though. He won't get out of there twice. Security on him will be doubled, if not tripled, and as far as I know, no one else has ever infiltrated that operation."

"Infiltrated?"

"I started working there in 2005 doing basic security — that kind of thing — for the genetics division. After a while they offered me a position with a special, classified division, and I accepted. I've spent the last four years working directly with One and Five. I couldn't…" He choked back a sob. "I couldn't watch that. What was happening to them. I tried… I tried to get Five out. I left her in Alaska, where she was killed. With…" His eyes sought mine, and I knew what information he wanted.

"Edward," I said softly.

He nodded. "With Edward, I was more careful. I stayed until I knew he was safe, but I couldn't stay long. As soon as I released him, they knew it was an inside job. He had this device, designed specially for him, inside of his chest. Any time he crossed the perimeter of his room, it — it was like it detonated. There was no way for him to escape on his own. And if I stayed gone, they'd know immediately it was me."

We listened in shocked silence. We had been chosen for this, I realized. Edward had been _placed_ under our protection, and we failed him. _I_ failed him. We continued to let the man talk, to get his story out before bombarding him with our questions.

"Edward was very important. He was the first successful trial after a long string of failures and it is _his_ venom that is used in the creation of new subjects. I'm not… I'm not saying I agree with what's going on," he said after a particularly pointed glance from Emmett, "but you need to know this: they will not part with him willingly."

"What's the goal? What's the reason? For all this, there has to be a reason." Carlisle's voice was strong and steady, apparently having his grasp on reality once more.

"Power. Money. Control. World domination. I don't know. They've developed an airborne version of the inhibitor that was put inside of Edward, but it's still in the early stages of testing. If it's released en masse, it could mean a very different type of power structure in the world. It could change everything."

And it could. But I didn't believe for a second that the Volturi would give them the chance. Time was our biggest enemy, though. Because every second they spent with Edward was a second more that they had to break him. And this time, I worried that it might be for good.

"Why did you visit Bella? That morning when she wasn't there – why?" I asked, uncomprehending. I watched the man as he answered.

"They've – we've – known your location for some time. I thought maybe… if I could get to her, I'd be able to get her away. If I could warn her, maybe he'd be alright. They were coming, and they were _going_ to take her, one way or another… I just… I guess I wanted her to know what was coming."

"But then you left…"

"I did. It wasn't – it wasn't something I wanted to do. As I've said, if I stayed away for too long, they'd put it together. They sent a team out, myself included, to keep an eye on the situation. The instant they knew that I was double crossing them, it'd be over. I could only get away in the early morning, and I _did _leave her a way to contact me," he said defensively as he took in our disbelieving faces, "and had hoped she'd call. But when I returned to Ohio, my place had been ransacked. They knew, and I knew they knew, and I needed to fly under the radar. I've been biding my time ever since. They've been keeping a close watch on things. My credit cards, my phone records. My bank accounts are frozen… I could only do so much to get back here; they'd have killed me if they caught me."

"How many of us have they captured?" I asked softly.

"Captured? None. Well, One – Edward," he corrected, "is now officially the first. They've been creating vampires for decades, as I said, but it is not yet the plan to capture live ones."

Carlisle's voice rang out. "How many, though?"

"When I returned to Ohio and found my apartment flipped, I didn't go back. It was them, and if suspicion had fallen on me, I'd be as good as dead. At that point, though, there were twenty-eight live vampires in the compound. Number Thirty was approved, though, and now, with One… with _Edward_… being captured, you're looking at thirty or thirty-one."

"And they've all been created?"

"Yes. Every one of them is a product of the laboratory."

"That's impossible," Carlisle said. "Someone had to start it. How would Edward have been created?"

"They pulled traces of venom from a dead human girl in 1908. That's when they began experimenting with it, as far as I know. They tried to synthetically reproduce the venom and eventually had some success. They experimented with several people, who would survive through various phases of the change, until finally one made it all the way through." He gave us a look that said, _Edward. _

* * *

**Carlisle POV**

When the sun came up, I retreated to my office. I had three calls to make. The first was to the hospital, to take a leave of absence. Family emergency. The second was to the travel agent. A red-eye charter flight for six passengers to Ohio. And the third, well.

"Carlisle." His voice lacked the amusement and whimsy that it usually carried.

"Aro."

"I take it this is not a social call?"

"They've captured Edward," I said, leaning back as far as my chair would allow and staring vacantly at the ceiling. I regretted that I needed to add the rest, but it seemed necessary. "And Bella."

I could practically hear him nodding thousands of miles away. "That _is _most unfortunate news. What do we know?"

I relayed the information Garrett had provided.

"And this Garrett Callihan," Aro said, "can be trusted?"

"No. No one can be trusted, but what choice do we have?"

"Point taken."

"We're going," I hedged, anticipating the rebuttal before it came.

"You're to wait where you are."

I found a spot on the ceiling and realized that I had never noticed it there. I could hear the chatter downstairs.

"My travel agent is booking us tickets as we speak."

"Carlisle, it isn't an option. You're to wait." His voice held an edge of threat. _Dare to defy me_, it said. "We'll get your vampire and your pet back, but you're not to act alone."

I shook my head, knowing he couldn't see me. He would never truly understand the importance of my family. How was I to wait?

"Carlisle," he said, his voice controlled. "If things go wrong, we do not need the public attention. You're to wait where you are, and we will be on the first plane to stop this."

The problem wasn't whether or not it would be stopped. Of course they would stop it. The Volturi had resources beyond comprehension. The problem was that they would stop it, even if it meant bombing the entire state of Ohio to oblivion. If it meant ripping everything with legs apart and burning it all. The Volturi would not handle it with the care necessary to keep the people I loved alive, so it wasn't a choice.

By now, Edward and Bella would be secured in the lab. Probably for several hours, in fact. Edward could already be ripped apart. And Bella. I didn't care to think about what could be happening to Bella.

"Okay," I lied, maybe too agreeably. I don't think Aro bought it.

"Is it really worth it? To defy me, to defy the law, which, I'll remind you is an act punishable by death? And not only that, but risking every vampire in existence? While I understand that you don't care much for our kind, certainly there is some semblance of kinship? Is it worth it for a child and her vampire plaything?"

"For my daughter. For my son. It is."

"I hope you'll reconsider, old friend. It'd be a shame to lose you."

The other line rang in. I didn't hesitate to hang up. "What do you have?" I asked the travel agent.

"Your flight leaves at eleven o'clock tonight. You'll arrive in Ohio tomorrow morning at six." While she relayed the ticket information, my foot tapped anxiously on the wooden floor.

I'd hoped for the best in calling Aro, and I stood by my decision to do so. But I had an uneasy feeling in my gut telling me that this wasn't just a race against the men holding my children captive. This was a race against the Volturi, as well.

* * *

The room was bright and stank of fear. Edward recognized it for what it was — the reinforced titanium blend metal, the double (or perhaps triple, now) doors, the ever watchful cameras. So far the vampire had been untouched, but his body ached for a fight. In a room, somewhere in this compound, albeit well out of his reach, was his Bella. Sad, sweet, loving Bella, who deserved none of this world but found it at every turn. And now, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, she stood no chance of ever escaping it.

Her screams resonated throughout the minds of those working directly with her. Two days and some odd hours left. Could he endure her screams for so long? He'd kill them for ever touching her.

He slammed his body uselessly against the inner metal wall, hoping to make a dent, but knowing he would not. It was all for naught, regardless, because outside of these walls was yet another set, thicker. Still, sitting and listening and hearing the tortured cries of this place were unbearable. So over and over again, he threw his weight into the cell that had once been the only home he'd ever known. It didn't give.

* * *

**A/N**: Almost there :)


	30. The Wall

**A/N**: Thanks to jilburfm for rocking the beta. OCD_indeed for the twilighted beta, pastiche_pen for general hand-holdery and encouragement.

* * *

**Carlisle POV**

By Tuesday, all of the necessary preparations had been made. We'd arrived early Monday and taken the day to look at blueprints, the area around the compound, the personnel that would likely be present, to make a plan. Without the tracking device, Garret was crucial. He was able to provide us with the exact location of the facility, as well as most of the vital details, such as the cell in which Edward was kept and what we would need in order to access the lower levels of the compound, but wasn't able to give us the exact room where Bella would be held.

Every time Alice searched, she shriveled into a ball and came out of it screaming, writhing in an agony that terrified us all, until she refused to look any further. She gave us a basic description of the room where we'd find Bella, but the visions were leaving us all on edge.

Garrett told us, based on the drawing Alice provided, that Bella was in the eastern wing of the compound in one of several identical rooms.

When we overtook the compound, we'd split up. Emmett, Rosalie and I were set to retrieve Edward, Emmett's physical strength being our greatest attribute, and Esme, Alice and Jasper would begin the search for Bella. We could only hope that we'd not be too late.

The time constraint was certainly an issue. Alice had confirmed on the way to the airport that Number Thirty-one was definitely Bella, and that if we moved too soon, she'd still be in the in-between state, which harbored its own set of dangers. If we arrived too late, the Volturi would beat us there. If that happened, while I had no doubt that they would be successful in ending the laboratory, I worried that little care would be taken in ensuring Edward and Bella's safety.

So for the moment, we were coming to an impasse. Provisions had been made, but we could not yet make our move. Aro certainly realized by now that I intended to go in, and on the unlikely occasion that we were captured alive, it would be a short lived victory for the humans. One way or another, this facility was taking its final breaths. Reinforcements were on the way.

Garrett assured us that these men did not have the means to capture vampires, only contain them. It offered some hope, however small, of us taking our family back alive.

My phone rang as I went over the blueprints for the tenth time. "Hello," I said, as calmly as I could, dreading what I knew I must do. Charlie was on the other end, and he was frantic.

"Have you heard from them?" the chief of police asked, his voice breathless. He'd called almost every hour since Sunday evening, when I'd told him that both Edward and Bella had disappeared in the night. Her face was all over the news, which I couldn't blame him for. Similarly, a description of Edward was painted for the entire state of Washington. When he'd asked me for a picture that I couldn't provide, Charlie had grilled me mercilessly, getting every detail of Edward's appearance to a tee. My heart ached for the man.

As hard as it was to lie to him, I knew what I needed to do. I'd told him that we'd gone searching, that we'd gone to Chicago, in hopes that Edward would return to his family. He bought it, desperate, and filed a missing person's report at once.

Now, he said, "Bella has been researching this — this man, in Ohio. Do you think that has something to do with it?" His question was full of hope, of maybe being on to something. I hated every second of every phone call, knowingly driving Charlie away from the truth of his daughter's whereabouts.

"I don't know," I responded, pain leaking into my voice. I ground my teeth, forcing the words out. "She hasn't mentioned it to me."

"I _know_ he has to do with it. She had me pull a background check on this lab guy. I'm going to make some calls."

"I think that's for the best. I took a leave from the hospital; we'll be here for the time being. If you hear anything, please let me know immediately."

Just as I was about to hang up, I heard, "Dr. Cullen," and froze.

"Yes?"

"Edward… you'd tell me if he were… dangerous, right? You wouldn't let him hurt my daughter?"

I closed my eyes and rubbed them, too hard. "Wherever Bella is, I'm sure she's safe. I can't… I don't know what's going on with them. But I do know that Edward loves her, and he'd sooner die than let any harm come to her." I hated myself for the truth of the situation. "I'll let you know if I hear anything."

The cop had no response. He whispered, "Okay," his voice emitting waves of terror and despondence. I hung up before I decided to tell him everything that I knew.

"Couple hours," Alice said from behind me.

"Any predictions on how this might all play out?" I asked warily.

"With a bang," she said, her smile not fitting the rest of her expression.

I made one more phone call that morning, praying it would be enough. He answered on the first ring.

"Aro," I said into the receiver.

"Carlisle." There was a smile in his voice that put me on edge. "I do hope you've decided to heed my advice," the old vampire responded automatically. "We've got this dealt with."

"You have a location?" I asked, dumbfounded. I anticipated it taking them longer.

"As you certainly know by now, we've been tracking Edward for some time."

"Tracking? How?" Immediately my mind scanned through the possibilities. "New talent?"

"Oh, no, nothing so complex. Alec placed a tracking device in the blood. Fantastically cunning, that boy. As I said, we have it under control. No need to worry, it's almost over."

My eyebrows knit together as I walked to the window, looking out over the smog-infested Ohioan city. It wasn't something that surprised me. It was exactly what one could expect out of the Volturi. Lies, deception, trickery. Cunning, indeed. What surprised me was how we'd missed it. Someone had been present with Edward the entire time the Volturi visited, and the only time the guard was left unattended during their visit was when…

"When we were upstairs," I said out loud, piecing it together. "You had _your_ guard spike _my_ blood while you tortured him upstairs." It was an accusation.

"Come now, Carlisle, it wasn't torture." I recalled the exact moment that Jane had put her eyes on him. Those deceptive little fingers. "I thought you'd be pleased! This will all be wrapped up, your hands clean."

"And Edward? Bella?" I wasn't sure I was prepared for his answer.

"Carlisle, you know how it is." There was a pause while he considered his words. Already, I felt my body poising for action. If they knew where Edward was, they would be close by now. "Casualties of war. I told Jane to spare them if possible, but alas, it was not. Certainly you realized how this would end…"

I dropped the phone then, and ran. I felt the family spring into action behind me.

* * *

**Bella POV**

The agony was infinite. I felt that, time permitting, it would go on for a million years. In the recesses of my mind, I knew what was happening. It'd been explained to me once, the pain of being turned. The process the human body undergoes to become unhuman. To become undone. And I had.

I tried to see Edward when the pain was at its worst. I tried to picture my vampire, the small laughs and half-smiles. My memories were interrupted by screaming, though, and I realized it was me who was making all the noise.

I wanted to tell myself to shut up, that I couldn't focus and I needed to focus if I were going to survive. I really didn't think I was.

But then slowly, it faded. And as it became manageable, I started becoming more alert. Warm fingers pried my mouth open, and I let them, because I had no control over myself. I felt a liquid flow down my throat and I wondered if it'd grant me any respite from the pain. It did not. The other one left. Left me alone. Painstakingly, I became more aware of my surroundings, of where I was, of who I was. Who was I?

And the agony faded, mostly. Almost everywhere, but not quite. It centralized, hurt and misery and a million stabbing knifes, all at the hollow of my neck. I sat up, testing my strength. I took a deep breath and smelled everything. Smelled _humans_, I realized, wanting them. I was no longer a part of them. They were _them _now, and we were _us. _Interesting.

_Come closer_, I wanted to say, but I didn't think my throat would allow such petty uses. The world was suddenly clear to me, like I'd been living with fog covered glasses on and finally they were taken off.

The walls, covered in filth. The air, the smells, the sounds. I heard screaming from every direction. Not necessarily pained screams, but screams of madness.

I knew implicitly that this was their plan for me, too. I'd go mad, just like the rest, unless I put a stop to it.

And I would. My brain conjured an image of a man; a man whose throat would be the first of many that I tore out. I'd tear every throat out, and maybe it would dull this ache.

I stood experimentally, intentionally slow. A cat, stretching her haunches after a long winter's sleep. I was in a new room, different from before. In this one, the walls were silvery, smooth but for the occasional dent. Thick. I could barely hear beyond them, and I figured that meant very, very, strong. I put my hand against it, fully palmed the thing, and pushed.

It didn't give. So I pushed harder. Still nothing.

And I did something that I didn't understand nor did I care to understand: I smiled.

I imagined the life of my captors running down my throat and into my belly. It would be magnificent.

I heard a new scream and listened intently, trying to swallow back some of the pain. _No blood for now_, my new mind said. Even my inner voice had a newfound clarity. I was no longer prey.

The noise from beyond my cell was definitely female. Not Edward, then. Not my vampire. _My vampire_. I toyed with it. He was my vampire and I was his, and I'd kill everyone who ever laid a hand on him.

I closed my eyes and inhaled, deeply, taking in every scent that I could possibly smell. My throat stung like a mad crazy bitch, but I ignored it, because in the distance, I realized with alarm, was smoke.

Every nerve in my body coiled, ready for action. Fire was my enemy, and I felt that with every single fiber of my being. The screams outside of my cage became desperate, and I found myself pushing harder, slamming my body against the cool metal door. Against any surface within my reach. None of them were giving, though. I wondered if maybe the fire was contained. If maybe I was overreacting?

As the smell of smoke grew stronger and the screams of vampires began blending with those of their human counterparts, I heard the first explosion, followed by a series of what I could only imagine to be chemicals combusting. And damned if it wasn't five minutes after I turned into a vampire that I went into full blown panic mode.

* * *

**Jasper POV**

The race was on. In a big way.

I knew before Carlisle did that things were becoming a shit storm and fast, as his anxiety slowly crawled its way up and up before it culminated in a move that left us all reeling.

Carlisle was out the door.

The rest of us followed effortlessly behind him. The hell if we knew where we were going, but we had a pretty damned good idea.

We ran at full sprint through the city, barely catching glimpses of trees, buildings and the people we plowed through. We were careful not to touch them, and mostly they would write us off as strong, perhaps strange, gusts of wind.

I knew we were in for a world of trouble before we saw it — we all did. We could smell the smoke from a mile or so outside the compound, and we ran impossibly faster. We reached the military-style gates in mere seconds. Carlisle didn't stop to think about how to break through; brute force worked just fine.

And just like that, we were in.

Thick, black smoke billowed into the sky and it was then that we all sort of lost it. We all knew that smoke: it was a sure sign that inside of those walls, vampires were burning. We charged in, Emmett and Carlisle going for Edward, Alice and I going for Bella. We had the blueprints memorized and were generally able to use our strength to knock shit down.

We weren't too worried about being destructive.

The humans throughout the building were in a state of panic, the alarms blaring loudly and water dousing everything in sight. On our way through the main floor, we grabbed the first worker we spotted. A gnarly man, mid-fifties in a lab coat, and dragged him with us. He coughed earnestly into the air, screaming and attempting to pry my fingers from his neck. It was futile.

"Please" he screamed, his voice muffled by the sounds of panic coming from within these walls. "We can't go down there! It's burning!" When we didn't stop pushing forward, he continued his fruitless plea. "I have a wife, kids! Please! We'll all be burned alive!"

Emotions were running rampant and I was starting to get a headache, but I dragged him forward. When we got to the first titanium gate, leading into the eastern corridor, I slammed his hand against the metal, right above the code box.

"Get us in," I growled, and in the one moment that he hesitated, I broke three of his fingers. Alice watched with what could have been awe or disapproval or a mixture of the two, but it wasn't a concern just then.

Several more doors went that way, but I only had to break three more bones for full submission. The other two fingers and his wrist on the same arm. He'd recover if he lived.

Finally, we reached where Garrett had told us that Bella would be.

"Where's Bella Swan?" I demanded, as Alice began systematically checking cells.

"Who?" the man, Larry (as his keycard told), asked breathlessly. His eyes were wide with panic and his weight fell against the wall. The smoke made it difficult for _me _to see, so I couldn't imagine how he was faring.

"Bella Swan. Number Thirty-one. Where is she?" The heat caused my skin to burn wildly, and as he choked on the thick, smoky air, he stumbled toward a room.

He opened it with no convincing necessary, for which I was immeasurably grateful.

As soon as the lock clicked, Bella burst out with a vengeance, and I had no choice but to run after her.

* * *

**Bella POV**

In the distance, I could hear his screams. I'd know them anywhere, in any life, super vampire hearing or not. The door opened and I bolted without a backward glance. I didn't breathe, didn't even think of it, but I ran. I ran toward where I thought my vampire might be and I ran with everything I had in me.

My throat ached painfully, and I wanted to rip it out, and every time I passed an unconscious human on the ground, I fought the urge to stop. The smoke permeated the air like death itself, stinking of burning bodies and acrid chemicals. There were loud explosions coming from somewhere, and I didn't care.

I found myself slowing, looking behind me at the woman who lay helpless on the cool tile and it would be so easy to bend down and take just one sip, one bite to quench this terrible pain.

But another urge pushed me forward — a force I had no control over told me to move on, to keep going, because Edward was somewhere in this prison and he was in danger.

As I passed various doors, I heard noises ranging from rage to panic to insanity. They were vampires, and they were dying. Somewhere, my vampire was probably dying, too.

I heard footsteps hot on my heels and my defenses kicked up a notch.

I could smell the vampire running behind me. I didn't care.

It wasn't making a move to get me, so it'd live. For now.

I was going further into the smoke, further into the burning flames, and I couldn't see much of anything anymore. I fell into the wall and listened for his voice above the others, moving along the cool edges and keeping contact for guidance.

"Bella," someone hissed from behind me. Jasper?

I swallowed painfully and regretted it, but kept pushing forward. His screams got louder as I got closer, and I could hear his body slamming against the confines of his cell. The temperature was rising still, and I knew we were getting closer to both my vampire and to the source of the fire. I would make it. He would not die, he would not die.

I stepped on a body and doubled over automatically, seeking its neck to dull my thirst, but the vampire behind me had his arm around my torso immediately and lifted with no hesitation, keeping me moving. A hissing sound came from my body and he let go. I pushed forward.

When I finally made it to the room from which the noise was coming, I felt for the handle of the door. It didn't budge and so I went to slam my fist against it. The vampire beside me held me back, though, and keyed in a number that somehow worked to grant us entry.

"How did you know?" My voice was a croak, painful as hell and inexorable. I searched for his eyes but my vampire vision failed to make out his features through all of the smoke.

"Come on," Jasper responded. We pushed through the door, and I was grateful that the smoke was less inside. When I looked up, immediately I found myself staring directly at Edward.

At my vampire.

At last, we would make it.

But it was wrong, I realized at once, and Jasper tensed behind me.

My vision was obscured by the thickness of the air, my mind foggy, and in a panicked voice, Jasper said, "The wall."

Edward stopped fighting the cell that contained him then and looked in our direction. He wasn't seeing us, though, and instantly I knew why.

I threw myself against the clear barrier as hard as I could and nothing happened. It didn't even shake.

Together, Jasper and I hurled everything we had at the material, which seemed to act as some sort of two-way mirror. We were in an observation room, surrounded with computers and chairs and filing cabinets. It had been abandoned, probably when the fire started, but I could still smell the humans that sat here day in and day out.

We kicked and we screamed and Edward was there, standing right before us, calmly as I'd ever seen him. He could hear us.

The flames were not yet visible, but I knew they would be soon. They would find a way into his room and they would burn him alive. The chemicals and the explosions were constant. It was too hot; the metal wouldn't be able to fend off such temperatures. In a moment that broke my heart in a way that I never thought it'd recover from, Edward put his hand on what, to him, had to be just another metal wall.

I traced the outline of his fingers and fell to the floor, clutching my legs and feeling myself fall to pieces. I gasped for breath, even though I needed none, and my body shook with sobs. Jasper continued to fight the wall, but it was in vain. This place was built to withstand vampires.

I looked into Edward's sad eyes and he turned, seeing what I was seeing. Black smoke seeping through the various vents, the air waving ominously from the rising temperature. It wouldn't be long now.

He fell down, too, sliding against the wall as he went. I could barely see him through the thick smoke filling his cell, but I watched as his silhouette crumpled. The temperature in the little room that I was in rose just as quickly, black smoke heavy in the air, but I wouldn't leave. Not without him. Not without my vampire.

In the distance, I could feel Jasper fighting to get me standing, but I had Edward's attention now, his forehead rest against mine with nothing but a thick sheet of death between us. I wondered if he was seeing me through Jasper's eyes. How tragic our story had turned out.

And then he was gone. I could no longer see anything but darkness. I lost him, and Jasper still fought to get me up.

"Leave," I told him, my voice barely a whisper. "Find Alice. Find whoever is still alive. Just leave."

I wouldn't. I couldn't live in this world without him, and I refused. I sobbed as I heard my vampire scream from the heat inside of his cell, and it was then that I realized I couldn't cry. Never again would I shed a tear of grief or happiness or love.

My head fell back as the hot in our room became unbearable. We'd lost, but we'd be together, wherever we were. I was losing myself, swimming in a pool of tar, of black asphalt. I could hear nothing and I could see nothing.

I felt Jasper once more try to lift me and I think I fought him, but I guess I didn't do a good enough job. Didn't he know he was making it so much harder? Who would I have to ask the favor of taking my life, if they wouldn't let me go with Edward now?

* * *

"Where's Edward?," I heard someone scream, and I felt the ground beneath me.

I opened my eyes enough to see Jasper collapse to his knees, shaking his head. Alice's mouth dropped in a horrified expression of complete and utter disbelief. My throat was raw with smoke and thirst. My body ached, still from the change. And my heart was no longer beating, no longer there — shattered into a bazillion pieces that were burning inside that building.

Rain pelted my face and I felt someone lift my head, cool hands on very hot skin.

* * *

**A/N**: 1 more chapter (which is already written, hopefully will be able to publish really soon) + epilogue. Thanks for reading. As always, reviews are appreciated.


	31. The Vampire in the Basement

**A/N**: Thanks to jilburfm for betaing! Here ya go:

* * *

**Carlisle POV**

I saw her before she saw me. She was a beautiful vampire, her dark hair drenched by rain, her pale skin even paler with her transformation.

I sucked in a deep breath as soon as the cool air hit my face, not because I was suffocating, but because my lungs were filled with smoke. Black smoke of ones lost, of lives that never came to be.

The vampire at my side was doing the same.

I found my wife and I left him there to breathe, to fill his lungs with something that would ease his pain.

Together, we watched Alice handle Bella, opening her mouth and allowing the rain seep in, helping her sit. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, over and over, stroking the dark, damp hair of the vampire before her.

Slowly, Bella regained awareness. She rolled to her side with a great effort and spat the water that had filled her throat. She coughed and hacked until it was empty, and when her eyes met mine, they were masked with such desolation.

I smiled then, knowing something she had not yet discovered, and she followed my gaze to the man by the gate. Her vampire, his weight still half falling on Emmett, smiled too, even though he was about ten seconds away from a death that he would not recover from.

Bella's eyes met his and they shared a single moment of what could only be described as love, before our attention was once again diverted.

* * *

**Bella POV**

"Edward," the girl said happily, approaching. "So glad you made it out alive. Aro was so disappointed at the idea of losing you."

I was unable to control the growl that escaped me. My emotions were at war with themselves. Alive. He was alive. He was alive! I wanted to throw myself into his arms. I wanted to tackle-hug my vampire and never let him go. I wanted to kiss his trembling lips and I wanted to tell him it was alright. That no one would ever touch him again. And I would mean it, too.

But it was an imperfect world, and I needed to wait. Reluctantly, I broke eye contact with Edward and found the little vampire girl in all her psychotic glory. Behind her, the Guard loomed ominously. Perhaps stupidly, I no longer feared them. They had something I wanted, and I had no qualms about taking it from them. The man the Guard had in tow was disheveled and seething, but my memory of him was permanently etched into my mind. I had a promise to keep.

Edward moved to step in front of me, seemingly an act of defensiveness. Protection? He must not have known. This is what I'd been waiting for. This was what I needed, and this was what I intended to get. Emmett put his hand on Edward's chest, blocking him, his eyes wide in a desperate warning.

"Bella, no," Carlisle said, no more than a whisper. I didn't care.

I turned my attention back to my target, and the confidence with which I approached them surprised even me. The girl, who was clearly in charge, had her head cocked to the side as if to say, _excuse me?_ And she smiled.

It was terrifying, in its way. I wondered if maybe I should be afraid of her. I'd come too far to turn away now, though.

"Brave, stupid girl," the vampire hissed when I was close enough to touch.

"Jane, please," Carlisle said from behind me. "She doesn't know."

I turned to regard him and found his eyes pleading. _Know what_? I wondered. She didn't ever take her eyes off of me, though. The rest of the Cullens wore similar masks of horror, and not for the first time, I realized that this little vampire girl might be more dangerous than her size let on.

Oddly, it was Alice who reassured me, her expression familiar. It was the look that so often said, _I'm amused, but I'm trying to hide it_. Her lips twitched when we made eye contact, and I figured she would know better than anyone.

I took another step forward, and Jane frowned. _Jane?_ The name rang familiar, and I remembered. The one who could take you down with a mere look. The one who could torture you for hours without lifting a finger. The one who could make you wish you were dead.

She looked at me now with confusion, muddled with anger and bitterness. The change in her expression troubled me, but she was not yet acting against me. I braced myself for the pain to come, willing to make the sacrifice to have this man, but it didn't.

It didn't necessarily come as a surprise to me when her eyes slowly shifted from my frame. I saw her target before she did, and when he screamed and went down, I slammed my body into hers.

It broke the spell, but his cry still rang in my ears. We fell together, but she pushed me off of her with ease, once more turning her gaze to my vampire.

Before she had a chance to unleash her maddening power on him, I was in action. I threw my body in front of him, wrapping myself around his core. I didn't know if it would work. If she had any view of him at all, could her power be used?

In the background, I was vaguely aware of the rest of the Cullens, frozen as audience to a fight that did not and could not involve them. If they attacked the Volturi, we were all dead. And frankly, I seemed to be holding my own against the most sinister one of the bunch.

I felt my body reacting to her threat, my brain bursting with an energy that I didn't understand. All I knew was that if she wanted Edward, she'd have to get through me.

We stood like that, her dark crimson eyes narrowed and mine challenging. _Try,_ I thought.

I wasn't sure why she didn't do it, but Edward stood safely behind me.

She hissed.

The selected few from the Guard around her stiffened.

"Stop," I said, my voice low and commanding. I'm not sure if it was in response to my command or to something else, but she did.

"It's interesting." Jane said, walking up to me slowly. Circling me. Briefly I considered it might be an attack on Edward, but she made no such move. "Aro will be most intrigued. Alec," she spoke to someone behind her and a small male vampire stepped forward.

The human in the suit trembled, I noted with satisfaction. Good.

I stood there, wondering what was coming, feeling nothing but a strange tickling of my nerves. I waited for what seemed like an eternity before Alec's face contorted in frustration and he stepped back. He shook his head infinitesimally.

"Oh yes," Jane whispered, her forefinger trailing along my cheek. I wanted to shrink, to cower away, but I refused. _What?_

When I finally found my voice, I said to her, "I want him."

Jane turned, looking where I looked.

She shrugged then, nonchalant, and the Guard released him. Reluctant as I was to leave Edward's side, I had a promise to keep.

When I lunged, there was only one man in my wake.

I decided not to make a spectacle of the act. I had one end goal, and did it matter if it was quick or slow?

As I ripped out his throat, quashing any hope he had of screaming, his eyes went wide.

I tore the man to shreds, as slowly as I possibly could (which was to say, pretty quickly), not yet satisfied when his heart stopped and his limbs went limp. The feeling was perversely glorious. Never again would he harm my vampire; I'd seen to that.

I'd have continued shredding him to pieces, but I felt a hand snake around me, pulling me away. I knew who it was by the tremor in his grip before I even turned around.

Edward wrapped me in his arms and I turned into him, finally letting it go. All the emotion I'd held for the past few months, the fear and the pain and the anger. I felt my body quivering with empty sobs and his hand pushed my hair off my neck, stroked my skin, and his lips found mine. It occurred to me that I was the dangerous one now, I was the one covered in blood, and if a human approached, they needed to run from _me_. Still, I hugged him back for all I was worth.

When I felt like I could finally breathe, _really _breathe, I let go. I closed my eyes and tilted my head toward the falling sky, and I inhaled, feeling his hand tighten on mine.

The Volturi Guard had disappeared, leaving us standing in the middle of the field, front and center to a century worth of torture going up in flames.

We all retreated then, making our presences those of ghosts, garnering no attention of the authorities or the public onlookers. When we were far enough away, we stopped.

My vampire and I collapsed into a heap onto the ground, and we watched with a terrible sadness as the lives of twenty-eight others were burned away. Any one of them could have been _mine_. Any one of them could have been capable of love, capable of trust and goodness, and they were all dead.

The smoke did not represent freedom or happiness, it represented something else entirely.

For all the men and women that burned today, we grieved. Wasted life, for what? For the chance to be God.

It was disgusting.

When Edward finally broke down, I held him. Light tremors that I wouldn't have even noticed as a human flowed freely through him as we sat in the moist grass, both so completely lost.

"It's okay," I whispered, both to him and to myself. "It's over." And it was. The flames before us completely enveloped the building. There would be no survivors. No vampires, thin with hunger and mad with pain, would live to tell about it. It was just me and Edward.

We sat like that, watching the black smoke of our fellow prisoners rise, not sure whether to stay or go - to pay some sort of homage to the other people who endured his pain. It killed me to think about them. How many families had suffered their disappearances? Did those vampires shake as mine did? It was so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel; it was clouded by the thick smoke that emanated from this hell.

Finally, Edward pulled my body close to his and we wrapped each other up tightly. I could feel his frame jolt with each crackle of the flame, with each rustle in the surrounding acres of land.

When I was certain that I had my own emotions more or less under control, I looked him over. I noticed the wrist band was back and took the chance to run my hand along his arm. He looked at me then, searching my eyes for hope or love or peace, I'm not sure which, but I think he found it. Because he buried his head back into my neck, and his body started to calm.

Now, now it was over. We were safe now, with the world at our feet and eternity ahead of us.

I absently ran my hand across his shoulders, waiting for his body to still. The others were keeping their distance, watching the flames with the occasional wary glance in our direction.

Eventually, Alice began her walk toward us.

"Are you alright?" she asked Edward, loud enough to include me in their conversation. He nodded his head, but we both knew he was just trying to spare us. Of course he wasn't alright.

"When can we go?" I asked, eager to be home. Eager to cleanse him of this place, to let him drink. The dull ache in my own throat had become just that, and I was far more concerned with Edward's thirst than my own.

"I think the Guard is still around somewhere, making sure all the ends get tied up," she began. "But I don't think they'd give us any trouble if we left. I don't think that it's us they're after."

My vampire curled tighter beside me, watching Alice intently as they silently communicated.

Alice sat down beside us on the hill, resting her head against my free shoulder. I let mine fall against hers. "Thanks, Alice," I whispered, my fingers running through Edward's hair.

"Bella," she whispered, her voice weighted with sadness. I knew her well enough to know what she was thinking. How could she possibly feel responsible for this?

"Don't worry about it," I said, before she could apologize again. I nudged her shoulder with my own.

She only smiled in response, returning her gaze to the flames. They grew taller and I wondered how long it would take for them to be put out. The sirens blared loudly, but they had become background noise.

When Emmett came over, he looked both hesitant and exhausted. I'd never seen him so shaken by anything, so cautious to approach _us._

"We're okay," I told him, and he sat down next to Alice, creating a loose circle.

"Pretty badass back there, Bella," he said, his returning smile a comfort. "You gave Jane a run for her money with that trick you pulled."

I was too exhausted to ask what he was talking about. I was certain I'd find out eventually.

Edward leaned in closer then, pulling me to him. I obliged, squeezing him harder than I thought possible, his head still nuzzling into my neck. He didn't kiss me, and he didn't speak, but we held each other like that forever, still getting a handle on our feelings. Fear, weakness, sadness. Love.

"I missed you," I whispered into his ear. "I love you." I kissed his jaw, his cheek, making my way up to his eyes and his brow, loving him. Breathing him in; never wanting to lose him again.

"I love you, too," he finally whispered.

* * *

**Carlisle POV**

I sat next to Esme, holding her hand. I took a mental inventory of our family.

Emmett, who had gotten the worst of the fire when he'd pulled Edward from his cell, was curled with Rosalie. Her arms were wrapped protectively around his shoulders and she kissed his closed eyes.

Alice and Jasper's fingers were entwined. They watched the black sky grow darker and darker with deep regret, each feeling the pain of the burning vampires in their own way.

And Edward and Bella. Edward and Bella were beautiful.

It was Edward who eventually broke the silence. "Let's go home."

No one argued with that.

* * *

When we arrived back to the mansion some time later, there was a package on our door. _I hope this helps, Garrett_.

We took it inside and opened it gingerly, finding a small thumb drive covered with layers and layers of newspaper, all with the face of Bella Swan, the chief's missing daughter.

She did not laugh, nor did she cry. She'd wished it could be different, but had come to accept that it wasn't. With time, Charlie would heal.

On the plane ride home, Bella had written a note. Short, yet lovely in its simplicity.

_Dad,_

_I'm with Edward, and we're happy. I'm safe, and I'm loved. I love you._

_Bella_

There was a smudge, so light that no human would ever detect it, from where she kissed it.

She then put it in an envelope, and would send it to him as soon as we were away.

Her heart would heal, as would his. But watching it would never get easier.

As my family gathered around on the basement floor, well hidden from anyone who might come looking for us, we loaded the files.

"I don't get it," Emmett said, sitting on the small table in the corner.

Edward looked at him curiously.

"Don't get what?" Bella asked, for those of us who were not privy to his thoughts.

"If Alice didn't see Bella in the vision, how did they get you to go with them?"

I looked up from my work, interested.

Alice did, too. All eyes were on Edward.

"Number Three…" Edward said, taking a deep breath. "They had Number Three with them. When… after a while, it feels like you'll do anything to eat again. He was the only vampire they'd ever controlled with high success, but I guess… I guess they were ready to see how far their hold on him went. If he captured me, he'd eat. If he ran, he'd starve."

"They had a vampire with them?"

Edward nodded. "But we ended up outside… When they saw Bella – I could see it in their minds. They saw her, and they spared themselves the fight."

I cleared my throat. He looked at me, expectant. He already knew what I was thinking. "With the inhibitor, how were the vampires ever fed? If that was their main bargaining chip, they had to have a way to feed you."

"The blood they had… had something in it. I don't know what it was, but it allowed us – them – to feed."

I nodded, as if it made perfect sense.

They'd been able to successfully control a vampire. It was astounding. And why wouldn't they be able to? Any living creature would eventually bend to their will, after so many years of starvation, just to end their suffering. _Any creature but Edward_, I amended. I looked at my son and smiled.

Edward held Bella's hand tightly, and she leaned into him. Her eyes were black as night, and would remain so until the antidote took effect and she could hunt. It wouldn't be long.

The first file we pulled was titled 'Emily Masen, 1911.'

It contained pictures, medical records, testimonies and statements.

Emily had been a willing participant, and one of the first. Edward Masen Sr. had encouraged it. He'd injected her with the synthetic venom himself; there were countless photographs of the process. She'd died on her second day, the venom not bonding correctly to her human cells.

Next came a handful of other trials. Another day.

When we came to Edward, we all knew that the choice was his. Did he want to see? He nodded vaguely, watching the screen with casual disinterest that seemed to disagree with his actual morbid curiosity.

Edward Masen considered his grandson to be his greatest victory. The first of many — a superhuman who would rule the world. Edward fell sick with the flu and the scientist took it as a sign. His parents had both died already, but Edward was stronger. Youth and good genes had made him fend off the disease, giving way for his rebirth. Hospitals had been over-crowded, nurses underpaid, and one patient would never be missed. But when approached, as it turned out, the vampire was not easily managed. He'd killed as many assistants as the laboratory could spare before setting him aside. Starved, they attempted to feed Edward on several occasions throughout the years.

The blood, which contained another version of the antidote that I'd conjured, would be used in an effort to control the wild thing that had become his grandson. Something went wrong, though, and after a period of time, the vampire refused to attempt to feed. He slowly rotted, his keepers monitoring him daily. Eventually, when Edward Masen Sr. was committed, and the facility was handed off, a renewed interest in the older vampire was taken.

How long until a vampire starves to death? Is it possible for a vampire to go mad with isolation? How can you penetrate a vampire's skin without using the teeth of another vampire? These answers were all obtained conducting frequent and horrific experiments on vampire Number One, until in 2009, when his untimely escape put an end to the appalling acts.

I opened a file entitled '10071986' to find a slew of gruesome photographs, and quickly closed it.

As I removed the little data drive, it occurred to me that somewhere, someone was likely sitting behind a computer screen, analyzing the events of yesterday.

Perhaps as we spoke, plans of rebuilding their facility were in place. And I knew implicitly that eventually, the time would come where we might have to reopen these deep wounds.

As a race, we would always be battling monsters who wanted the answers to the universe. No matter what, there was no way to completely eliminate the human threat. But that was a lifetime away.

For now, we'd retire. We had an eternity to learn these secrets, if it was ever something we needed to revisit. We'd rest well on the knowledge that Edward was safe, though, and that alone was more than we could ever hope for.

* * *

I trudged quietly to my office. Everyone had retired to their bedrooms, except for Edward and Bella, who opted for the basement. I had to agree it was the safest place for a newborn vampire who couldn't feed. Her body was desperate for it, and any human within a three mile radius was technically in danger.

We'd closed the door and all found our own respites, Emmett and Alice carefully guarding that basement, lest someone try to disturb them.

It was midnight when my phone rang. Tomorrow, we'd go to Isle Esme, let Bella become acquainted with being a vampire, with hunting and drinking and sleepless nights. Give her time to become accustomed to an overactive yet under-stimulated mind. There was much to learn, and to be away from humans was the best place to do so.

"Chief Swan," I answered, exhausted but determined not to let it show.

"What the _hell_ are you people?" The cop was irate. I didn't immediately answer, momentarily dreading that he might have finally put it all together.

"I don't understand."

"I ran a check on Edward Masen," he said. "Far as I can tell, he goddam died in 1918!"

I pulled in a deep, pained breath. To keep the secret was the number one rule in the vampire world. Humans who learned of our existence without the intent to become one of us were given no mercy. Not only would the Volturi eliminate our entire family, but Charlie, too. I needed to be convincing. I had to. "You must have gotten the wrong Edward."

"My ass!" Charlie bellowed. "First Bella has me looking up some laboratory in Ohio, then she runs away, _then it burns to the ground_, and then Edward is a goddam ghost. So what is it, doc? You gonna tell me or am I gonna have to bring this to the press?"

_Think. _I sighed, dejected. If I could get Edward into the system tomorrow, it'd be just as well. He could go to the press, but they'd write his story off as a grieving father's rambling antics. Charlie deserved better, but it was all he could get.

"I… I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am, Chief Swan. I don't know where they are. I can only offer my best guess, and I… I think if they don't want to be found, it won't be easy. But," and I needed to tread lightly here, "I think that this is what they wanted. I truly believe in my heart, that they are happy."

And then the Chief did what I expected he might but dreaded the most: he broke down on the other end. Deep, relentless sobs overtook him and I closed my eyes. This life, this choice. I would never understand how Bella could make it. And maybe she wouldn't have.

Maybe she'd have grown up, fallen in love again, realized that it wasn't something to envy. It was a curse. But the maybes would never come to fruition, because in that moment, with her father sobbing openly on the phone, praying for the life of his baby girl, Bella was locked in my basement, wrapped in the arms of a vampire.

I hoped she wouldn't regret it.

* * *

**Bella POV**

The irony wasn't lost on me, as Edward and I wrapped each other up tightly. Four months ago, I'd spent countless nights in this basement, on this floor, with this vampire. Because he was dangerous, and because he had no other place to go.

Now, there we were, same room, same situation, roles reversed.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

I nodded.

"Did they hurt you?" His question came as a surprise, his voice low and dangerous.

I didn't answer. Had they hurt me? I guess, in a way, they had. "I… I could hear you," he said, his brow creased with concern. "When they turned you, I thought… I thought that was it. I was going to find a way… to kill them, and then…" He trailed off and I cupped his cheek, running my hands across his jaw.

In the end, they had hurt me. They'd taken my choice away. Forced me to become what many would consider a monster. Forced me to abandon my father, my friends and my family.

I considered that, before saying, "This was always my choice, Edward. I've never wanted anything more than you, and…"

I smiled, turning to face him. We laid on the floor, perfectly comfortable, the lights all off but still seeing each other with a clarity I'd never known to exist.

Edward was flawless. His constant trembling was a reminder that he still carried the scars of his past, but he was beautiful. I moved closer and brushed my hand over his face. I kissed his closed eyes, which would never shed a tear but would always want to. I kissed his nose, his forehead. His cheeks. His neck.

Finally, I kissed his lips, and his shaking hand came to my neck and he kissed me back. And it rocked.

* * *

**A/N**: Only the epilogue is left. /cry. So glad to have made it here :) Epi will be posted soon, hopefully tomorrow! Reviews are ftw.


	32. Epilogue: The Beginning

_**A/N**: Wow. So much thanks to jilburfm for betaing for THREE YEARS. This story wouldn't be half of what it is without her. Also, I'd like to extend a general, heartfelt thank you to everyone who is reading this. There are certainly things left open-ended, I understand that. So goes the reading experience. That being said:_

_**TWO THINGS:**_

_1) Let me know all the questions that you have that were not answered within the story. Tell me in reviews or PMs. I will try to answer them all on my profile or something in the coming few weeks._

_2) Review to tell me which chapters you'd like EPOV outtakes of! As lots of you know, NaNoWriMo approaches quickly. I won't write outtakes in November, but over the coming weeks or months or years, when the mood strikes, I'm not opposed to giving up some EPOV. So let me know which chapters you'd like most to see in EPOV and I'll try to make it happen eventually :) (Outtakes before the first time he successfully fed are not possible, so be mindful)_

_Without further ado, the epilogue. Enjoy :)_

* * *

**Bella POV**

Our house sits on the outskirts of Ontario, Canada. It's modest in comparison to what we've been used to. We've been spoiled, though, with a private island, a massive house and endless nights of making out in the warm ocean. A place where you could swim with (or scare, in our case) porpoises and watch the moon glow brightly over the water and everything was simple. Life was beautiful on Isle Esme, but admittedly I missed the real world.

The small computer sits casually on my lap and I hit the search button. I've done this countless times over the past year, and I will continue to do it until the day my father dies. Maybe even beyond.

He married last week. I knew it was coming and I was happy for him. Now, I trace the picture of him and his bride with my forefinger, admiring her dress. Sue Clearwater, a local, has stolen my father's heart, and I am eternally grateful to her. Edward watches me with guarded eyes, unsure of what he can do to comfort me. He knows that it's okay, that there's nothing left to do.

I only ever wrote Charlie that one note, telling him I was safe. Often in the past, I've considered writing him again, but he is healing, and perhaps salting his wounds is unkind. Still, I miss him desperately.

Emmett enters through the front door and we both know it's him by the rumbling guffaw that follows. Still, I feel Edward's shoulders shake. I notice it more, now that I'm one of them. One of us. The trembling, it's always there. Under layers of okay-ness, my vampire still fears the world. He always will, Carlisle explains. A hundred years of happiness cannot undo what has come to pass. All we can do now is teach him to love the world. Show him that the world deserves his love.

"We're hunting tonight. Gonna see the sights. You in?" Emmett's offer is tempting, but Edward and I haven't had much time to ourselves lately.

Simultaneously, he says, "No thanks," and I say, "Unlikely." Emmett laughs, biting his tongue. The sex jokes have grown tiresome to the rest of our family, but they will never cease to amuse Emmett and me.

When they leave a few hours later, Edward takes his post at the piano.

It has become his favorite pastime. There's something unbelievably attractive about the way his fingers gain certainty as they dance across the ivory keys, all traces of shakiness and hesitation evaporating as soon as the notes begin to resonate.

Music flows through Edward and I often find myself wishing I could pick it up like he does.

I take up residence on the bench next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist and resting my head on his shoulder. I close my eyes and listen as each note bends to Edward's will. It's as though this piano is linked to the inside of his soul, as he effortlessly composes whatever feelings are in his heart.

He lets the notes trail off and pauses. "Do you remember," he asks me, "how to play the song?"

My eyes open slowly and I back far enough away to meet his. They're bright, alive, and happy. The most beautiful things I've ever seen.

"What song?" I ask, confounded. Never have I claimed to be a pianist; there is no song in this world that I've ever known how to play.

"The one you learned in your lesson," he clarifies.

_Lesson?_

"You told me once that you'd learned a song," Edward says, raising one eyebrow. A challenge. _Had I?_

I think back. Way back. I guess I did learn how to play _Heart and Soul_, to an extent.

"You quit, though, because it hurt your fingers."

My mind reels. When did I tell Edward this? Immediately I pinpoint the memory. I clutch his torso and kiss his shoulder as I recall, because, as I've always hoped that he might, he _does_ remember. In all that time, I thought I was talking to a vacant mind. I told him my stories, because I wanted him to know me and because he was lonely, but did I ever in a million years think he heard? Never.

"Will you try it?" His voice is a whisper and it brings me back to the present. Automatically, my fingers find my approximation of where the keys that I seek lay. His hands cover mine, moving them a few keys to the left. I close my eyes and smile.

I don't play it, because I can't. But Edward knows how, and his fingers on top of mine lead us.

It's not beautiful or graceful, the way it normally sounds when my vampire plays, but it's magic.

* * *

I lie in bed, my hand tracing the planes of Edward's chest. His head rests on his arm, his free arm cradling me.

I kiss his chest, rolling so that I hover above him. Propping myself up, I gaze down at my vampire and he smiles, lifting his head enough to kiss me. His tongue is warm against mine and I smile, pulling him impossibly closer. I no longer need to breathe, so there is nothing in the world that can make me stop kissing him.

When he finally lets his head fall to the pillow, my lips find the skin of his neck. We have the house to ourselves on this fine, clear night, and we intend to take full advantage of our time.

* * *

_Fin_


End file.
